Moose Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Women in particular use their sexuality to get men to buy them drinks, get out of tickets, get a better price on things, or just about anything for personal gain, even to help the family in some cases. Is this right? Do you do it ladies? Is it fair to others who aren't attractive? My own mother has told my sister that if she can use it, more power to ya, and she takes it seriously!! She even has a regular Teusday, "Appointment", with someone every week. It sickens me. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Ok sometimes it just naturally happens that I get the better end of the deal. People do it for me, I don't always have to ask. Yes I do it, no it's probably not right, and no, not fair to others that are maybe not as attractive. But when someone insists...what the hay?! Link to post Share on other sites
She's Come Undone Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 I'm sorry, but if a man wants to think with his pp, and go above and beyond to help me, who am I to say no? Some don't get the hint, so they deserve to be taken advantage of. No, it's probably not fair to those less attractive, but I'm sure a good personality can get you places too. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Hey I do it all the time, flash a little leg, wear little shorts to home depot or lowes so that they can carry everything to my car. Like SHE said if they want to think with their pp and do stuff for me then what the hey... Sometimes I dont even try though and I get stuff or get stuff done. But there are guys I know that do the same thing.... Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Well... I have gotten my last couple of jobs because of my looks AND education. I won't sleep with someone for a job. But, I will dress nicely and wear make up and what not. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 I use my blatant sexuality to get laid, though being married takes away some of the mystique because my husband knows what I'm up to!!!! it's funny to watch, but sad, too. People who rely on their physicality to gain something material are kinda left out of the loophole when it comes time to forge an authentic interpersonal relationship -- they feel they've got to use their bag of tricks to keep someone's attention, rather than just focus on the bare bones of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Artifact Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 I wonder sometimes if men are looking for, or expecting, women to flaunt themselves- sometimes encouraging it or egging them on. For example, I never intentionally flirt, dress up, or act coy to get anything. I look so young for my age that I often get asked what high school I go to. I'm 24! But I apparently have this annoying habit of smiling all the time at anything or anyone. This leads to men at least twice my age to think I am interested in a little Flirt Flirt. They tell me how wonderful it is that I am smiling, and ooze all over how happy I must be. They ask me if I smile all the time and if I know what a great smile I have. Then they discount what I am buying, give me coupons and encourage me to come back. But this is just my story. I have seen plenty of women go out and get what they want.... Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 We all use our sexuality, every day. If you mean that soem women are to wear high cleavege for some more attention, that's not a problem. But, Moose, it's not like men don't know about this little game. It's not like women are leading men on. Men know what's heappening too. They hope that one or two free drinks might help them ... get somewhere. Which is really cheap, now that you think of it... Now, if you think about men using their sexuality in everyday life... well that's a subject that's worthy of attention ... Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 It's my ace in the hole sneak attack! My grandmother always told me to play down my looks until they are needed. Some women are catty and some men only look for looks -so if you down play them in the beggining then you can get a read on if they will help or hurt your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I did when I was younger! After I met my husband I changed because I thought he wanted me to. He kept telling me that he liked smart, independent women and didn't believe in all the "weaker sex" stuff. He respected women who did for themselves. That went a little too far in the end, and I basically tried to "be a man" for a while so we could be friends. Turns out my husband just doesn't have any manners. He won't open doors for me, or pull out my chair or any of the gentlemanly things I enjoyed. I overlooked it because I loved him (and tried to teach him the manners his parents failed to teach. I've had mild success. It's funny, way back when I was in highschool my girl friend and I would go cruising in this park in Michigan. When I say park, I mean a 40-odd mile stretch of road (Edward Hines Drive/Park) through a variety of different parks and picnic sites, etc. It was THE place to cruise and, uh, at night to park! (First time I was ever caught with a guy was there. Thank goodness the guy I was with saw the cops headlights in the rearview mirror and we had time to almost pull our clothes on!) Anyway, I had this old pinto that leaked oil and I would bring the oil with me and when we saw a bunch of guys that we wanted to 'impress' we would pull over and I would make a big show of trying to figure out how to put the oil in! We ALWAYS got help with that! *LOL I didn't let on that I had already taken auto mechanics and could complete an entire oil change, replace a starter or solenoid or gas filter, change a tire, pump my own gas (back then we had full service gas stations) or that I could diagram an entire ignition system! Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I don't try to do it, but if it happens I take advantage of it. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 The other day I was in the parking lot of a Home Depot and a pretty young lady was struggling to get a package into her SUV. I went over and helped her. Now if this was a fat ugly old woman I probably wouldn't have helped her. I would have if she asked, but I would not have volunteered. Some attractive women can be genuinely nice but many are cocky and know how to intimidate. I have always chased less attractive women; beautiful women are high maintenance and I never had the time, energy, ambition or money to keep them satisfied. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I especially like what Hokey wrote. I too did the same mistake for some years - you know, volunteer work, NGO's, interviews for projects, school, and what do you know, two thirds of my closet were full with suits and shirts... I love dressing sexy from time to time, I really like being a woman. I think I am much more confident in my sexuality now and the truth is that one of the reasons I didn't buy sexier clothes was - beside the " where am I gonna wear them" question, the fear of being labelled as "one of those women". Maybe the difference is attitude. I am not afraid now to put on a nice dress and go out, and no persistent male who thinks I fit "the pattern" is gonna make me change me mind or preventing me from having a good time. In the end, it's not clothes, not even attitude, but actions that are important. So the evil is not in the sexuality, but in using it for consistent ends. Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 not all beautiful women are high maintenance. some, just like their less attractive counterparts, are well-rounded enough to maintain themselves and don't need a guy to do it for them. just sayin'. so what women use their sexuality? so do good-looking men. some people use their money for personal gain. some use their brains for personal gain. some use their powerful connections for personal gain. the point is: use what you have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moose Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Flower, What say you when I say that my own Mother has told my Sister to go ahead and have sex with men for gain? She's doing it on a regular basis with one man in particular and my Mother tells her to go for it. Use it for all it's worth. This breaches moral values that should be common sense to anyone. I called her a whore to her face. She looked at me as if to say Mom says it's ok. I gave her the look of a disappointed brother. I asked her, are you having sex with him, yes. Are you leaving with more money than what you came in with, yes. You're a whore. Even though she looks more up to her big brother for his values, she still thinks it's ok to do it because mom said so. It makes me ill. And believe you me, my daughters won't be spending any exstensive amount of time around their grandmother of that's what she's teaching her own daughter. So when you say, "Use what you have", where is the line that says you won't go that far? Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I use it and it works pretty well, I am a new insurance agent and if it's a hard sell I know that if I walk in Confident, polished and look that MAN directly in the eye and smile a little the Deal is closed, and other's will follow with the same man. Also the Man I am selling to is more than likley to refer me to his friends. Now if I we're to walk in and sell to a company that a woman runs, i would dress consertivley, be nice geniune and confident about my product. and MABY if I follow up 2-3 times and I might get a MABY. Is this right no, do I use it yes. Numbers are Numbers... no matter how you do it. Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Originally posted by Moose Flower, What say you when I say that my own Mother has told my Sister to go ahead and have sex with men for gain? She's doing it on a regular basis with one man in particular and my Mother tells her to go for it. Use it for all it's worth. This breaches moral values that should be common sense to anyone. I called her a whore to her face. She looked at me as if to say Mom says it's ok. I gave her the look of a disappointed brother. I asked her, are you having sex with him, yes. Are you leaving with more money than what you came in with, yes. You're a whore. Even though she looks more up to her big brother for his values, she still thinks it's ok to do it because mom said so. It makes me ill. And believe you me, my daughters won't be spending any exstensive amount of time around their grandmother of that's what she's teaching her own daughter. So when you say, "Use what you have", where is the line that says you won't go that far? your sister prostituting herself is not the same thing as someone using their sexuality to benefit themselves. what you're talking about is far more extreme. perhaps i should say "use what you have as long as it doesn't harm yourself or anyone else in the process." i think it's really, really harsh to call your sister a whore even if that's what you think. it's negative and it will only cause her to be defensive instead of hearing whatever message you are trying to get to her out of love and concern. because calling someone a whore is a personal attack. but moose, you have some qualities you use for personal gain. whatever positive qualities you have, don't you use them? is that unfair to others that don't have the same exact personal qualities? the point is, God gave us all qualities and we use them to the best of our ability. that doesn't mean we should do things that are harmful to ourselves or others. showing some cleavage isn't the same thing as prostituting oneself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moose Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 I can understand you thinking that it's cruel to call my own flesh and blood a whore. I call it tough love. I don't believe in sugar coating what she does. I call it the way I see, and the way others would see it too. I think you're wrong about her becoming defensive about it. When I called her that, she sat down with a fat bottom lip knowing that she disappointed her big brother. It's something that she begs me to not think bad about her because of it. She's told me that she's taking steps to break that deal off. It hasn't happened yet. But for the record, when I tell her something that I think, she listens and follows it. She would do anything for her big brother to be proud of her. Then, to answer your second part of your response. Yes, God gave us all qualities which are good. And yes, I do use them. I look for ways that I can use those qualities to help others first and foremost, then I'll worry about myself. I don't think that showing cleavage will ever satisfy my thinking that whatever was gained through it all was justified. "Show me some cleavage and I'll feed your hungry." Even if it's to feed the hungry, I would hope for a sour stomach if the food was obtained by the use of a woman's body. Yes, I'm being extreme to an extent. To me, there is no sin greater than the next. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Originally posted by Moose I asked her, are you having sex with him, yes. Are you leaving with more money than what you came in with, yes. You're a whore. No, a whore does it for free, your sister is a prostitute. I'm sorry Moose, I know this is serious to you and I understand your concern. Just trying to lighten it up a bit. I think someone else said that your sister's case is a lot different than what most of us have said. Flirting and flaunting is not the same as actually having sexual contact for personal gain. There is more than one line to cross, but I think we can all recognize the ONE line that your sister has crossed. We would lose much more than we ever thought we gained. At least I would. I would lose my self-respect and I value that more than material object. Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 For those that use it to their advantage, that's fine ... just don't complain when men "objectify" you (ie staring at your breasts in the middle of a conversation). Its a two way street. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moose Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Hokey, OOOOOpsss, you're right, my older sister is the whore.....she does it with anyone, for free. Man, I sound terrible towards my siblings don't I? I've never been one to defend them either, you can ask. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Let us examine this. What exactly is "morally wrong" about having sex for money? Trading a service for pay. . Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 i don't think calling someone names is tough love. tough love is telling someone that their behavior is wrong or hurtful or damaging and then refusing to accept it. that's not the same as calling them derogatory names. calling someone names is abusive and only increases the odds that they will shut you out in defense of their self-esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Originally posted by InmannRoshi For those that use it to their advantage, that's fine ... just don't complain when men "objectify" you (ie staring at your breasts in the middle of a conversation). Its a two way street. you mean the way that men that walk around without a shirt are objectified? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moose Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Originally posted by littleflowerpot i don't think calling someone names is tough love. tough love is telling someone that their behavior is wrong or hurtful or damaging and then refusing to accept it. that's not the same as calling them derogatory names. calling someone names is abusive and only increases the odds that they will shut you out in defense of their self-esteem. Well, I suppose you have to really know the person in which you are speaking to. Had she of been anyone else, I would've been more tactfull. tough love is telling someone that their behavior is wrong or hurtful or damaging and then refusing to accept it. When I called her that name, that is exactley what I did. Link to post Share on other sites
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