Tenacity Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Brian you said you think everyone in your life is happy. that is why i said my thing. (can you tell me how to do that quote thing so it shows in box what others say? I am clueless and too lazy to look it up. I never thought i would be on forum or anything) Just hit the "quote" button (on the right) instead of the "post reply" button on the left and then type below the text that appears. Link to post Share on other sites
Brian1 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 So if nobody ever wanted to date you, and they all rejected you, you wouldn't be affected... Or if they all loved you and admired you, your ego wouldn't be affected? I agree that "fairly healthy" people are resilient and able to ride highs and lows. But to some degree, don't you think people are programmed to look for acceptance? Of course they are, eggplant. Everyone needs affection and acceptance. It's part of our DNA as humans. But it can be a double-edged sword. Link to post Share on other sites
Brian1 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Not all men who have affairs are selfish, narcissistic, lying, deceiving, good for nothing men. At least not forever. It's what you do about it ultimately that makes all the difference. Gracias, tenacity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 I think it is scary how much we have in common LadyGrey. I could have written your post... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 thx for the quote info tenacity.. I saw the quote button but when I hit it, it looked odd. but if you say that is how it works...then I am good to go Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 why can't I "like" any posts now? Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Doesn't everybody seek validation? WhetherI like it or not, my nature is to want to be loved. Are there people who are different (besides sociopaths)? The same thing happened to me, and I am not ashamed. I was in love and reckless. I took a big risk and I lost. The next time I will be much more careful, but I have no shame. All of us have the same human traits, however, some of the traits are highly exaggerated in some people and then there is a problem. We like acceptance, but for some this is the only way to feel good and happy. I prefer intrinsic happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 LadyGrey...what are you talking about hahaha... I lurve brian. he is my 2nd fav MM. In fact, excuse me for a bit while I go over to his thread... Link to post Share on other sites
Brian1 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Brian And yet your daughter does not have full time access to you. She has to deny you are her father in public. you said you think everyone in your life is happy. that is why i said my thing. (can you tell me how to do that quote thing so it shows in box what others say? I am clueless and too lazy to look it up. I never thought i would be on forum or anything) no, you use money to control. admit it brian. money is powerful. If i was dependant on you like your OW is, I would be really scared. Just being honest. If you want to negate the whole money thing, then go to a lawyer and set up some kind of trust for them..that you cannot change. instead of giving monthly or whatever, give her full control and then let's see what happens on that mountain Just hit the little quote icon below the post you want to use. I'm also a beginner on this forum but that's the way I do it. My daughter has a few trust funds that kick in at different stages of her life. I don't believe it's my obligation to financially secure my OWs life until she dies. As long as I'm with her, she'll be taken care of financially. She also has a sort of trust fund in the store that I financed but she started on her own. It's all hers and I have no regrets. But money is a minor part of any relationship. It can make any good relationship better but it can never make a bad relationship good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 pierre why do I like seeing you in my stream so much? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 brian. you must still see that it is a huge hammer over her head. she knows if you and she end, money gone. how many of us are ok if our jobs disappear? it is the same thing you want love from her but you have mixed it up with this money hammer. yes, the trust funds for daughter and store are fine..but wtf. if you go, OW is still in trouble. at least for a period of time. even businesses have cash crunches and that is what she would be in. so she would have house but can't pay electric? or what happens to store? so many unknowns. I am actually surprised that they can live in house that in daughter name. i remember years ago talking to lawyer about trusts and there were many issues to a mother living in house in trust to the kid. so my x-h eventually just put in my name because was going to be major pain. (and i am not from some small silly place. I am in chicago- top lawyers and top real estate) why not give her a lump sum to have in bank so she can make real decision, not based on money. you seem to be rolling in it... Link to post Share on other sites
Brian1 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 LadyGrey...what are you talking about hahaha... I lurve brian. he is my 2nd fav MM. In fact, excuse me for a bit while I go over to his thread... I feel degraded by your comment, Acheron. 2nd fav MM? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 :laugh:Can I just say that I like when my thread is above brian's thread Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 sorry brian. you are 2nd best my 1st mm was so f...ing amazing in bed that I doubt anyone can surpass that... but who knows. pierre would say it was affair bubble. I would actually like advice on how to have great sex with non-MM. Is it possible? yea, I know possible - but any good? I don't want to go back to vanilla... Link to post Share on other sites
Brian1 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 brian. you must still see that it is a huge hammer over her head. she knows if you and she end, money gone. how many of us are ok if our jobs disappear? it is the same thing you want love from her but you have mixed it up with this money hammer. yes, the trust funds for daughter and store are fine..but wtf. if you go, OW is still in trouble. at least for a period of time. even businesses have cash crunches and that is what she would be in. so she would have house but can't pay electric? or what happens to store? so many unknowns. I am actually surprised that they can live in house that in daughter name. i remember years ago talking to lawyer about trusts and there were many issues to a mother living in house in trust to the kid. so my x-h eventually just put in my name because was going to be major pain. (and i am not from some small silly place. I am in chicago- top lawyers and top real estate) why not give her a lump sum to have in bank so she can make real decision, not based on money. you seem to be rolling in it... I'll manage my affairs, no pun intended, my way and you manage your affairs your way. We all live in a world that goes through economic cycles. Just like our relationships, we have ups and downs. But believe me, no matter what happens in my love triangle, I will do everything I am capable of to make sure that my two ladies are secure financially and my daughter is already under an umbrella of financial security at least until she is 30 years old. But you seem to be the one concentrating so much on the money part of a relationship. I don't like to consider myself a sugar-daddy. Actually it's quite insultive to me. I much prefer emotional happiness over financial happiness any day of the week. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 no. you do not care about anything. and if you read what i said of trusts for a minor in regards to a house where they live, etc - and actually had a decent lawyer- you would know that is a very fragile thing for your OW. I am actually surprised it has not been a problem yet. Most likely because you have been "playing nice". Once you drop the hammer- that will all change. and no, I am not going to give you a pass here. your wife and OW cannot speak here. so guess you have to put up with my "emotions" on the subject 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 omg..this is my thread..why are we talking of you again brian? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 All of us have the same human traits, however, some of the traits are highly exaggerated in some people and then there is a problem. We like acceptance, but for some this is the only way to feel good and happy. I prefer intrinsic happiness. Exactly. Well said. Link to post Share on other sites
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