Confused as Hell

[puzzled]

Well ya'll its like this, i really like this girl at school and i talk to her more than often on AOL, she''' be girl A. Well anyways this other girl that i had used to like, and i mean like a lot, keeps flirting with me, she's girl B. The thing with the latter was dumb because she's obssessed with her old boyfriend and she can't take a clue and move on (the best part coming when she got mad at him for asking another girl out, and she got real pissed off at the kid!!). Well anyway with the first girl i get really shy and dont know what to say to talk to her when i am around her (common problem for guys isnt it??), and i am actually outgoing. I am was kinda friends with girl B since she hung around my lil' social circle, but i guess she talks behind other people behind backs since i found out she didnt like me, and i found out and told her the feeling is mutual, since i really dont like her, but since then she has been all flirty with me. Well back to girl A, i keep gettin mixed signals from here...Oh yeah to all you girls WHY DO YOU DO THIS?? i'll admit i aint the smartest guy, but geez it screws with your mind. I really dont want to sound like an idiot and go up and ask her if she's goin out and/or available. It would be nice to know cause i'd like to persue something with her...The things that are gettin me puzzled are that she smiles at me and stuff at school, but there's always this buddy from the football team of mine hanging around near her locker during the only real chance i get to talk to her. But recently i talked to girl A online (and damn it lasted till 2Am!!) and i kinda alluded to see how well she knows him, but she didnt know too much about the guy so I AM CONFUSED!!!! Is she or isnt she?? Well to sum all this up do i tell girl B to take a hike and quit annoyting me and get over it? And how should approach the lil' problemo with girl A? Everybody's advice is requested and needed so please respond!!!!

[Ed]

I get the feeling that the only reason you haven't dumped B yet is because you don't know if A will go out with you. It sounds like you don't really like B that much anyway, your just keeping her around until you find out if something is going to happen with A.

 

Since you're so interested in A, you need to tell B that you want to date other people and you think she should too. That doesn't mean you have to stop dating each other, but at least it will even the playing field for B. Of course, if you continue to treat B like the backup you want her to be, she's going to dump you. And I know that will just break your heart.

[puzzled]

Umm i dont think ya'll understood too well, no offense Ed, but its just that me and girl B arent going out at all, thats just the way she is......sorry for the mix-up, hey Tony you seem to have your stuff together so if you could please respond.....

[Ed]

That's OK Puzzled. The only thing worse than one confused person, is two. And I'll probably never find a place big enough for all my stuff.

[Deejette]

You should just come right out and ask Girl A to go out with you. Plan a cool date by finding out what she is interested in.

 

Forget about Girl B. You don't really like her and so what if she flirts with you. Flirting doesn't really mean anything. It can just be a pass-time for effect.

 

That's OK Puzzled. The only thing worse than one confused person, is two. And I'll probably never find a place big enough for all my stuff.

[sparkle]

puzzled,

A, i keep gettin mixed signals from here...Oh yeah to all you girls WHY DO YOU DO THIS?? i'll

About the mixed signals...please don't hate us for it.

 

And not all girls do it. I will admit though that I've

 

done it...a long time ago...but wait. Let me explain, it might help you out.

 

I liked some guy..but we didn't really know each other, and I didn't know how he felt. We'd flirt with each other. And when it would start to seem that I was interested in him, I'd back off and act like I didn't like him. Maybe because I didn't want him to know I liked him until I knew that he liked me. I didn't wanna end up liking him and seem desperate to hook up, when I might realize that the feelings weren't mutual.

 

Well one day he basically backed me into a corner. Literally. He walked up to me at school, and kept getting closer till my back was against the wall. Then he said "do you have a bf?" I laughed and said "you know i don't". He said "well..are you just flirting with me or do you really like me?" I stopped laughing..looked down, and whispered yes. He said 'good, I do too'.

 

I'm not saying for you to go and force it out of her. When I was thinking about it, I was like..'hey..I can't believe he pushed me back like that', but then I though..well if I didn't like him, I would've moved away.

 

---------

 

I hope that helps somewhat. But back to your situation.

 

girl B:

 

If you don't really like girl B anymore, stop flirting with her, don't act too interested in her. You can't really make her get over her bf, she'll do that on her own eventually.

 

But don't wait around for her to get over him.

 

girl A:

 

You two goto the same school, you talk at school and online right?

 

Have you asked her if she has a boyfriend? Casually ask her that.

 

If she says no, ask her if she's interested in someone.

 

I have NO clue if she likes you or not.

 

You could also ask her if she wants to hang out...maybe go grab some lunch afterschool, or go watch a movie.

 

If she's talking to you so much or being nice to you, it means that she likes you...whether as just a friend or something more. Let me know how things go.

[Nic]

One thing's for certain - all Girl B is to you is a pain in the old arse. As you said, she's annoying, she talks behind peoples backs and doesn't like you (to which you said the feeling is mutual). Not to mention she's still obsessed with her boyfriend. So what to do with Girl B? FORGET ABOUT HER!!! she can be your friend, but she sounds like a bit of an insecure, confused tease to me who's only confusing you more. It's probably an ego thing for her to flirt with you and get a reaction, and it's probably an ego thing for you by having her flirt with you. Sure, it's flattering to have someone flirt with you, but it's not everything. You may have like her once upon a time, but re-read what you wrote about her and you might see things a little more clearly.

 

You need a girl who is switched on, not one who is confused herself and will only confuse you. That's hardly fair.

 

YOU SAID: "do i tell girl B to take a hike and quit annoying me and get over it?"

 

ANSWER: "yes!!!!!!!" but nicely of course. Just simply tell her that you are not interested in her. Don't feel pressured or guilty if she can't handle that. It's nobody's fault if the attraction isn't there, it's just the way it is. She'll move on when she finds out and start flirting with someone else no doubt!!!!

 

Now, Girl A. I guess you're going to have to bite the bullet to find out how she feels. I don't mean, "hey babe, are you attracted to me or what, cos I really like you". Ask her out somewhere on a date maybe, or even for lunch. Or in casual conversation, ask if she has a boyfriend. Even tell her she has a nice smile when you see her smiling at you. Flirt back and you will see how she responds. She might be a bit shy to admit how you feel. You obviously get along well if you can chat until 2am.

 

So, snap to it!! - Firstly, get Girl B out of the picture. She'll move on quickly and she'll be out of your face. That's one less confusing situation out of the way. Get the courage to ask Girl A out and see how it flows from there. The worst she can do is say no, and even then, we've all had that happen to us at one time or another. If she does say no, don't worry about it. You can still be friends because nothing has happened to upset the friendship. If she says yes, then good luck to you.

 

Just don't have Girl B hanging around incase things don't go as planned with Girl A, because it's only going to make things very, VERY complicated and that's not what you need. You don't even like Girl B, so don't waste your time.

Well ya'll its like this, i really like this girl at school and i talk to her more than often on AOL, she''' be girl A. Well anyways this other girl that i had used to like, and i mean like a lot, keeps flirting with me, she's girl B. The thing with the latter was dumb because she's obssessed with her old boyfriend and she can't take a clue and move on (the best part coming when she got mad at him for asking another girl out, and she got real pissed off at the kid!!). Well anyway with the first girl i get really shy and dont know what to say to talk to her when i am around her (common problem for guys isnt it??), and i am actually outgoing. I am was kinda friends with girl B since she hung around my lil' social circle, but i guess she talks behind other people behind backs since i found out she didnt like me, and i found out and told her the feeling is mutual, since i really dont like her, but since then she has been all flirty with me. Well back to girl A, i keep gettin mixed signals from here...Oh yeah to all you girls WHY DO YOU DO THIS?? i'll admit i aint the smartest guy, but geez it screws with your mind. I really dont want to sound like an idiot and go up and ask her if she's goin out and/or available. It would be nice to know cause i'd like to persue something with her...The things that are gettin me puzzled are that she smiles at me and stuff at school, but there's always this buddy from the football team of mine hanging around near her locker during the only real chance i get to talk to her. But recently i talked to girl A online (and damn it lasted till 2Am!!) and i kinda alluded to see how well she knows him, but she didnt know too much about the guy so I AM CONFUSED!!!! Is she or isnt she?? Well to sum all this up do i tell girl B to take a hike and quit annoyting me and get over it? And how should approach the lil' problemo with girl A? Everybody's advice is requested and needed so please respond!!!!