Freinds Becoming Lovers?

[BklynGuy]

I have been attracted to a female friend I went to school with for quite some time. We met about 5 years ago, and there has been a mutual attraction/tension between us for a long time. When we met, we were both involved with others. Much has changed since we met, and she is in a relationship, I am not. We have lightly disclosed our feelings for eachother on several occasions.

 

The tension boiled over and we have moved beyond our "friends" status. The thing is, I don't know whether we should remain friends, if this is why we remained friends all these years, or what to do next. I know our friendship can't be the same, and she's involved at this time. I don't want to be the "other" person. I was the loser in my last relationship and I still worry about opening myself up to another woman, although we have been friends for a long time.

 

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[uriel]

I think you should pull back from this until and unless she breaks up with her bf. Tell her that what happened was special, that you wish it could happen again, but don't want to go there because you don't want to simply be the "other man" in her life. Then, avoid getting into any potentially compromising situations with her.

 

She'll understand that you're interested in pursuing more if she's ever free to do that. She'll get that you also respect yourself not to be used as an outlet for whatever's not working in her current relationship.

 

Then, just be her friend and pursue other people as usual. Hopefully she'll come around.

 

-- uriel