whichwayisup Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Could be any of those things. The teams have a name, which hasn't been decided yet, but they also have a numerical slot. Before I answered back she knew which numerical team she was on. Ahh, she researched first. Which kinda means she was going to show up anyway but possibly changed her mind and ran the idea past you. I know you love her and all, think that the 'best friends' and being in each others lives forever is a done deal, but the more things go south, feelings can change, resentments can build, enough to ruin all the nice feeling you two once shared. I just hope she isn't reaching out to your wife. You've said they know each other, right? IF she does that, that is even more wrong and quite manipulative. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Listen, if you need mental reinforcement to end it, think of as it is, which is just a game. She's not your soulmate and this isn't love; you may feel in love but everything you've described so far is just a play to control each other. Check and checkmate are not terms used in living relationships. Again, btdt. I'd like to say my conscience was my only guide, but the realization that exOM and I were fast tracking it to Chris brown/Rihanna status helped seal the deal. I'm going to have to think about that. The love is there. like I said way earlier in this thread, I handled it the wrong way to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Everything is really irrelevant, all the games, control issues, brain f**ks, etc. What’s relevant is whether he wants to continue on in this situation or not. If not, he has to end it and just walk away. Cut all contact, no matter how hard it is on the OW. She seems slightly unbalanced, not that I’ve read every single thing about it. Basically, if this is going to be over, it should be OVER. Like a bandaid – RIGHT OFF! Prolonging it just increases the misery and tension. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Everything is really irrelevant, all the games, control issues, brain f**ks, etc. What’s relevant is whether he wants to continue on in this situation or not. If not, he has to end it and just walk away. Cut all contact, no matter how hard it is on the OW. She seems slightly unbalanced, not that I’ve read every single thing about it. Basically, if this is going to be over, it should be OVER. Like a bandaid – RIGHT OFF! Prolonging it just increases the misery and tension. Duly noted. I have had about enough thinking for the night. I will get back on that. I appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Yesterday I was in depressed mode. Today I’m in ruthless mode. BANDAID OFF! RIP IT if you want it OVER! (I do understand it’s incredibly hard, but the first step – if you TRULY want it to be over – is required to keep walking away) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine6 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 These are 7 year olds. They are worried about sticks and stones and playing with friends, not reading body langauge. You are way underestimating children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 I still don't get the need for yesterday's conversation. The information she was seeking will be available in a week or so. And that is some two weeks before any games start. Her: Hey. What team is ****? S1, S2....? Me: I don't know. The sheets/details are in the other car. Why, what's up? H: I was just trying to get the team numbers of my favorite teams. So when games start, I'll know which ones to go watch The website still has last years info up you are S4 Me: How do you know it is S4? I just tried to look and I saw nothing. Her: I looked on the regular season practice and it had ***** name with S4 beside it Me:Ahhh.... Well I know **** would like it if you came to her games. Her: You know I can't stay away for too long. Have a good one, gotta run. Talk to you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Realist' date=' I know where you are with this. Me and MM have been ending it nearly every day for the last six months. We have been examining it, tearing it apart bit by bit, walking off, slamming doors, making up. When you love someone more than your spouse,and you want to be with them, there comes a point when you have to 'sht or get off the pan' as my friend's tell me. The relationship is a moving thing, it cannot just stop. Sure it can rest a bit, but it has to move, it lives. I said to him this week, I am through examining our relationship, it is the relationship at home you need to examine, as this one is for real.[/quote'] This is very true. Although we have agreed not to talk about it for the time being. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) You are way underestimating children. We agreed to avoid each other at school after that incident. In fact, we have not seen each other at all since the 8th. Edited February 26, 2013 by Realist3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 I think I will head to the bank this afternoon and withdraw all the money in our joint account, and stop the ACH deposit. She will not be able to pay the cheater phone bill without that account. Without the cheater phone that will make it very difficult for us to get together, i.e. take away temptation. Link to post Share on other sites
Decorative Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I think I will head to the bank this afternoon and withdraw all the money in our joint account, and stop the ACH deposit. She will not be able to pay the cheater phone bill without that account. Without the cheater phone that will make it very difficult for us to get together, i.e. take away temptation. My understanding is that she is aware you post here? Why would you post this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Think motive. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I still don't get the need for yesterday's conversation. The information she was seeking will be available in a week or so. And that is some two weeks before any games start. Her: Hey. What team is ****? S1, S2....? Me: I don't know. The sheets/details are in the other car. Why, what's up? H: I was just trying to get the team numbers of my favorite teams. So when games start, I'll know which ones to go watch The website still has last years info up you are S4 Me: How do you know it is S4? I just tried to look and I saw nothing. Her: I looked on the regular season practice and it had ***** name with S4 beside it Me:Ahhh.... Well I know **** would like it if you came to her games. Her: You know I can't stay away for too long. Have a good one, gotta run. Talk to you soon. IF you thought she was crossing your boundary - you sure didn't tell her she was! If you didn't want her at the game - all you'd need to say to send a CLEAR message is: I don't want you there - it's not a good idea! You need to say what you mean and mean what you say! Obviously, you have a problem communicating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Still jockeying for position (of power). Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 I think I will head to the bank this afternoon and withdraw all the money in our joint account, and stop the ACH deposit. She will not be able to pay the cheater phone bill without that account. Without the cheater phone that will make it very difficult for us to get together, i.e. take away temptation. You have a joint account with your OW? If you need to end it - just end it! Try some self control! If you don't have enough - get professional help! Sheez, you act helpless - then you pull a passive aggressive move that stirs chaos... Try getting honest! You know she's reading here - you're just determined to be mean and that sucks! Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 IF you thought she was crossing your boundary - you sure didn't tell her she was! If you didn't want her at the game - all you'd need to say to send a CLEAR message is: I don't want you there - it's not a good idea! You need to say what you mean and mean what you say! Obviously, you have a problem communicating. he is - he gets to tell her here. i would say he's either silently thanking the person who advised his MW of this place, or he did it himself. why can't men actually be men and have the guts to say what they mean to your face.... oh, wait. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 he is - he gets to tell her here. i would say he's either silently thanking the person who advised his MW of this place, or he did it himself. why can't men actually be men and have the guts to say what they mean to your face.... oh, wait. Because cheaters will always lie - it's their way of having fun - always at the expense of causing complete pain to others. Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 i was a cheater and a liar, but i can't say i've had or am having a lot of fun. Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 i was a cheater and a liar, but i can't say i've had or am having a lot of fun. YES!!! Me too! Fun!? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Still jockeying for position (of power). 100 billion characters. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Because cheaters will always lie - it's their way of having fun - always at the expense of causing complete pain to others. There is no intent of causing pain. I have said numerous times that I messed up in the way I handled the break. There was no altruistic reason for making the decision. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Ahh, she researched first. Which kinda means she was going to show up anyway but possibly changed her mind and ran the idea past you. I know you love her and all, think that the 'best friends' and being in each others lives forever is a done deal, but the more things go south, feelings can change, resentments can build, enough to ruin all the nice feeling you two once shared. I just hope she isn't reaching out to your wife. You've said they know each other, right? IF she does that, that is even more wrong and quite manipulative. I don't know how I passed this over. As far as I know she is not reaching out to my wife. She's a smart cookie. I don't know her endgame. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realist3 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Still jockeying for position (of power). Unfortunately, it has turned into a game of chess. Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 So whose move is it next? While your A has gone on far longer than mine, I remember very vividly when I started to push xmw away and she begged me not to. Then when I caved she would do the same somewhat. I also remember at one point her telling me she couldn't do it anymore and that we were over physically and she had "made peace with that." I simply said "goodbye" and that was it. Five hours later I got a series of texts, begging me to talk to her, that she saw things that reminded her of me and just wanted to hear something. I was so pissed at the time I never responded until later, and simply by responding, I lost what little power I had left and that is when she shut the door on me for good. It took me a while to realize, I'm too damn old for these juvenile games, and will NEVER play them again with anyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 So whose move is it next? While your A has gone on far longer than mine, I remember very vividly when I started to push xmw away and she begged me not to. Then when I caved she would do the same somewhat. I also remember at one point her telling me she couldn't do it anymore and that we were over physically and she had "made peace with that." I simply said "goodbye" and that was it. Five hours later I got a series of texts, begging me to talk to her, that she saw things that reminded her of me and just wanted to hear something. I was so pissed at the time I never responded until later, and simply by responding, I lost what little power I had left and that is when she shut the door on me for good. It took me a while to realize, I'm too damn old for these juvenile games, and will NEVER play them again with anyone. Good for you Rick! That's excellent. Emotional game playing destroys your soul. Link to post Share on other sites
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