"Why Men Cheat on Their Wives" An old story from a former boss

[Karlise13]

...who actually titled his story "Why GREEK Men Cheat on Their Wives" being that he's greek.

 

 

"THe women....they get too much power in the house over the man sometime. That's a bad thing. You know the guy, the woman tell him this and that...and he DO it because he so much in love with her. The man, he gotta go out and have more than one woman. If he put all his love in the ONE...she gonna beat him with it. If there's the OTHER one....it get spread around and then he can handle it. It's about who got the power, you know? He **** around, the wife she know she got more man than she can handle. Then she back down, you know? She act right. That keep her calm. The other one, he got to be the boss with her too. You can't give a woman everything. They get too strong....pretty soon you not a man anymore."

 

In other words

 

His theory was that 'love' for one woman could be too overpowering. I guess men are afraid of love?

 

And if you cheat on the woman, you'll lose some of that love for her. So you can handle it.

 

And she'll back off because she's scared of losing you (I guess Old World greek women don't leave philandering husbands)

 

You know, she'll 'behave' like a proper woman...be more submissive

 

Same with the girlfriend. Don't give in all the way. Show her whose boss.

 

 

 

I don't work for this guy anymore, by the way.

 

Interesting point of view, I thought. It came back to me several times over the years.

 

As mysoginistic and crude as I found it at the time, the words haunted me over and over when I found myself in the OW predicament.

 

"It's about who got the power, you know?"

[shortbus74]

Men cheat because they want to impress their male friends.....

And the Greeks...............sheesh............ dont even bother trying to tame and take home to mom..........it will never happen..............

[Breathe]

"About the power"..... hmmm I saying cheating is a LACK OF power... they enjoy it while their doing it but when they get caught they regret it. They lacked the control to say no.... to the flirting, the kissing, the touching, the sex, etc. etc. so many chances to say, "NO"..... but they don't. LACK OF POWER.

[netrie]

Look out guys! It takes two to tango...

 

In reality, I would NEVER cheat on a man to hurt him. If it happened, it would be because I felt unloved or "single" and not committed.

 

 

Sex is an easy thing to come by for a woman--i know. And i would prefer if possible to be in a committed relationship but I am still single.

 

I just broke up with a man AGAIN. He was stringing me on and could not break away from me sexually. He was addicted to me. Weird.

 

Was it love? i do not know. And its been 5 weeks since we spoke.

 

Hmm.

 

Netalia

[ehehef]

Well, interesting theory, and I think The Boss was definitely right, in an old-school Greek way. My own father thinks like this, and I won't even comment on his "sowing his wild oats" even during 30 years of marriage...

 

But we're not all like that. Me, I'm engaged to a wonderful woman, getting married soon (not without our own share of problems -- see my other posting at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t51540/15-1) and would NEVER dream about cheating.

 

But the concept of POWER has been drilled into us by the older generation of power-hungry Old World dads who might be open to the idea of a woman being independent, career-minded, living on her own, etc. but in the end, when it comes to a relationship, the man has to keep her in CONTROL. It's all about "who has the upper hand".

 

There's no such thing as absolute equality, of course, but if there's a balance of situations where both the man and the woman are in control of an issue ("Darling, we're eating Chinese tonight! *stomp stomp stomp*", "Honey, I'm dying my hair blue! *stomp stomp stomp*), then a relationship works. It's just natural... sometimes one side "convinces" the other, sometimes the other way around...

 

I remember that great line in that old romantic comedy classic "Moonstruck" where they kept asking "Why do men cheat?" and the answer was "Because they fear death." hmmmm....

 

Cheating is a LACK OF POWER when the woman wants to "seduce" the man (yes guys, it DOES happen!) and he cannot resist.

 

Cheating is about HAVING POWER when the man wants to "seduce" the woman (the classic story). But I honestly cannot see how those guys can LIVE with themselves. I'm a guy, I have fantasies, I have hormones, I glance at a beautiful woman passing on the subway, but that's it. I can't even IMAGINE myself in anything further than that.

[Solana]

Yeah, that's a really nice idea, right until the point where the guy realizes he has a wife with actual self-esteem and she dumps his sorry ass and finds a man with some actual quality.

 

The sad part of that whole concept is that there are women out there who will actually put up with that kind of manipulative bull****.

 

Solana.

[Bella Mia]

I think there are many reasons people/men cheat .

 

The newness of the relationship is gone. The excitement of the first few months has been replaced with stability and predictabilty and some peopleconfuse that for falling out of love. A new relationship/affair brings back the excitement they are no longer experiencing in their current relationship.

 

Opportunity. Even someone who never thought they would cheat might not turn down the chance given to them by someone they are incredibly attracted to. Men more so than women will find it hard to resist given the right circumstances.

 

Feeling your partner doesn't appreciate you. Many men complain that their spuse/girlfriend no longer treats them as they once did. Compliments and affection may have been replaced by nagging and complaining. Enough of that, and any attractive woman who finds him fascinating and adorable will become the center of his thoughts.

 

It is easier to get a man/woman than it is to keep them. emotinally and/or physically. You can't take your partner for granted, let sex become routine, a bargaining tool, boring, or feel like a chore. The way it used to feel will be missed greatly and sought elsewhere if even only in their thoughts. Lots of men say the sex was great until I got married.

 

Mistrust and jealousy.. both human emotions that are acted upon. Becoming private investigator, prison gaurd, babysitter or mom will not make them change their behaviour, it will make it worse and eventually kill whatever love and passion is left in the relationship.