stevie_23 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 It's fine guys, doesn't matter anymore. I called that jerk yesterday and he turned around and dumped me. Said his feelings changed and that our relationship didn't mean anything to him at all. Guess I'm the dumpee here. And a fool for caring about his feelings and trying to make sure he isn't hurt by me ending things. Nah, you're not a fool at all. Loving someone is NEVER foolish. The act of love is only good. If feelings just change through no fault of their or your own, then that is just the way it is...however if those feelings change and the person in question abuses your love and disrespects you like your ex seems to have, then that sucks and is a reflection on who THEY are, not who YOU are. THEY are the only fool here that I can see. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 In my case I instigated it because she kept disrespecting me and complaining about everything. She distanced herself. I offered a breakup, this made her even angrier, I offered to work it out, she didnt like that either so I finished it because her unhappiness had brought me down and I couldnt handle the disrespect anymore. She then proceeded to block me on everything and told me to move on. I did, it wasnt easy. 3 months later she sent me a few texts saying she missed me. I ignored. Then after 5 months she tried again I ignored. Then after six she tried again and I replied. She then tore a strip into me attacking me, and demanding an apology for how I treated her. I told her to move on. She asked for no strings attached sex, again I told her I wasnt interested. She then begged me to have sex, and I told her to stop contacting me altogether. Guessing the life free from me wasnt as great as shed planned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 ^^^ You are not obligated to work things out with anyone except your spouse. In my adult life I have always been the dumper. And only with the last guy do I even remotely regret it. In our case there was no "dealing with it", believe me I tried for months. It can't just be one person working on things and talking about them. And I couldn't love us both. I had to choose a relationship with the man I loved who refused to communicate, or being single and not looking outside myself for happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 should have gone for the sex dude. I still think however that you broke it off instead of dealing with things I knew her three years - the things she said about me in an effort to get attention were way out of line, and then the fact she suggested sex means she didnt believe any of it. I dont want people like that in my life, people who arent capable of controlling their emotions, or what comes out of their mouth. I broke it off because I found her on logging into an online dating website, while at the same time accusing me of cheating every single week for near enough a year. She claimed she didnt use it anymore when it said clearly she was logging in. So I didnt have to think too hard about pulling the pin, whether she was cheating or not, she wasnt being genuine with me. Link to post Share on other sites
marklarsson Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 You are not obligated for working things with anyone ? Lol, you are justifying your actions of being a selfish egocentric person! Let me tell you something about being in love which you clearly have never experienced - Being in love means having patience to deal with things and actions, predictable or not. Being in love is a contract you make to be with the person u love, the irresponsible part comes when you see your own selfishness in getting out of the relationship In my adult life I have always been the dumper No wonder you dare to say such things I think you are totally right. People are always quick to bask in the ambience of when things are going great in their relationship. Then when the bad times happen, they are quick to bail out. Love comes with good times and bad times. But so many people think, "he is not my husband" or "she is not my wife" "why should I have the patience and work on things". Well for those people I will say one thing. Why will someone want to marry you if you never showed these qualities when you were just boyfriend and girlfriend?. If the situation can be solved, then I agree with mutantswordfish. You sort it out, not bail out on it. The most successful relationships are the one were the couple decide to work things through the bad times or one of them decide to help the other and be there through their rough times. They may break up but if the issue had a clear solution they get back together and work things out. I think this is true love. People tend to say "there is more fish in the sea". There is always something better out there then what is the point of any relationship?...the point of working things through with the one you love is because you want to better each other and grow together. Some people are too quick to bail out as I said 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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