drinana Posted August 28, 2004 Share Posted August 28, 2004 Hey guys... Hope that all of you are doing ok.. I know that whatever situation you're in is hard, but keep your head up things will work out.... So my situation is kinda long and blah.. But to keep it short.. My ex and I were together for 9 years (engaged in Feb.)... we broke up about a month ago (the night of our engagement party!!) because of long distance, he said that he didn't know if I was the one, that we had grown apart, were different people, etc.. Anyways, he e-mailed me about a week ago and today we talked on messenger.. It started with small talk but then I just flat out asked, why did you e-mail, what's going on?? After some discussion he pretty much said that he can't come home now (he's in school in DC).. but that when he came home in about 2 months he wanted us to talk and possibly try again..... I guess what I'm confused about is whether or not I want to still be with him.. He is going to go to counseling to figure some stuff out, but is that enough?? I told him that I cannot - will not wait for him, that I have to live my life and he agrees.. I guess my question to all of you is how many chances can you give someone?? When is enough enough??? How do you know when to walk away?? Have any of you broken up with someone and then gotten back together? And if so, did it work, were they different??? Thanks for your input.. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Well -- he might be worth giving another chance if things happened just as you've said. Distance can cut apart even close ties over time. That he's in counseling is a big positive. It doesn't solve everything, though. When he gets back, I suggest you at least talk with him. If you think this might work out, then ask that he go to regular couples counseling with you. Don't commit to the relationship as a sure thing. Just say -- at that point -- that you're willing to work on it. Until then, you're single in every sense. If anything more is going to happen with him, it must happen slowly and surely. No rushing. And, that's if YOU still want it to. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 What a STUPID question!!! I'm not sure I understand what you're asking...are you asking, "Should I stay stubborn since he dumped me?" Or are you saying, "Should I take him back even though I don't want to?" Either one is stupid. It sounds like you two broke up because of distance...because that's what you said. He said to give it 2 months until he comes back, so you can see if you want to work it out....TWO MONTHS!!! If it were my man, I'd wait 2 YEARS if that's how long he needed me to wait. Because I love him. I put my love for him above my pride. So....do you want to be stubborn, and tell him that "you're not going to wait for him" because you are too proud to humble yourself to waiting for the man you love? Or are you going to say, "Honey, I love you, and I'll do what it takes to be with you, if you are willing to go the distance with me." It's up to you. Do you love him and want to be with him or not!? Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Just wanted to say I hear where Monday's coming from, but I think it's unwise to give up everything for love. Love isn't just some romantic, intense feeling, but a sense of commitment that must come from both parties. Your ex broke his commitment to you and that trust needs to be re-established. That takes time and talking through -- as well as proof that his intentions and renewed stability are real. If you want to give him a chance, let him know that's a possibility, but say too that you want to talk things through in person and make some more solid decisions later. Don't give him a "yes" yet. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Monday. Now there's a woman that understands how I feel. Well... one year down one to go .... Link to post Share on other sites
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