Not sure what to think.....

[samrjrb]

Wow brother. You sound alot like I used to be. I would hang on and let them string me along. She is holding you in reserve because she knows you are not going anywhere. If you really want to see if it will work, then I suggest absolutely NC. If she contacts you, tell her you have moved on and see what happens. Really let her know you are tired of the BS. Tell her to Sh** or get off the pot.

[Coping Vortex]

Wow brother. You sound alot like I used to be. I would hang on and let them string me along. She is holding you in reserve because she knows you are not going anywhere. If you really want to see if it will work, then I suggest absolutely NC. If she contacts you, tell her you have moved on and see what happens. Really let her know you are tired of the BS. Tell her to Sh** or get off the pot.

 

I agree. I will let her know I'm done playing games. I know she is scared of letting herself go with me. If she wasn't and secure in her new relationship she would see me. No need to be tempted if she is secure. But the truth is she is scared because she knows what she will feel. I know this because I saw her 4 weeks ago she met me and she totally broke down and cried kissed me hard and had sex with me. After a week she told me she wasn't IN love with me just the memory of me.

 

This past week she admitted it wasn't true. She is still in love with me. I think she carries a huge guilt trip about messing up the new relationship. So she tries hard to suppress her true feelings for me. She already told me to she is disappointed with many parts of the new relationship. She also mentioned she knows we would end up in bed together if she saw me.

 

So yes she is confused and scared. The diff new is that relationship is the easier one to be in right now. Long story. So she is forcing that one to work and trying to avoid me. She knows what the will feel between us. She already admitted it.

 

But in the end you guys are right. Even if she knows I'm the right choice it does no matter if she won't face her true feelings. So either way I'm still right where I started. I do need to move on. I just wish I knew what was real with her.

[Simon Phoenix]

Coping Vortex, if you aren't familiar with Occam's Razor, I would read up on it. Basically says that among competing hypotheses, the one that makes the fewest assumptions is the one that should be selected. Basically, the one with the least amount of variables present, or the simplest, is usually the correct one. I feel as if you are letting every little detail permeate your mind and drive yourself crazy.

[Sugarkane]

She doesn't sound like a "great girl". She sounds like a user and a cheater.

[TaraMaiden]

Coping Vortex, things will only change when you do two things:

 

One: take the blinkers off your eyes, get real, face facts and understand that this is OVER, finished, done with and that you're trying to breathe life into a cold, wet stinking fish that died months ago.

It is a rotten foetid corpse, a slimy remnant of something which once may have been truly magnificent and awesome, but is now just a useless pile of skin and bones, ready for deep, deep burial.

 

Two: you commence, yet again, the process of complete, and total, black-and-white, cut-and-dried - No Contact.

 

You do not tell her, advise her, warn her, speak to her one last time, communicate it to her, mention it to her, or give her even the smallest glimpse of a hint that this is what you are doing.

 

You - Just - Do - IT.

 

Get out of this ridiculous, pointless, self-defeating and utterly self-sabotaging stagnant mind-set.

 

Get a grip, man up, and deal with it.

 

Love, "Mrs. Damn, she was right again!"

[grace777]

Awwee, Coping Vortex, I'm so sorry you are going through this. And it seems like toward the end of that painful thread, you've started to see things without your rose-colored glasses. You do need to let go of her. She is using you. It is very obvious.

 

That doesn't mean she's a bad person, but she's treating you terribly. She is clearly confused. She is also treating the new guy badly. She's a mess right now and probably not the girl you had before, because of all these changes.

 

You 100% have to stop talking to her. Everyone is right. Go hard core NC. You really have to...literally every form. You are way too fragile right now to have that temptation in your face. Let her go. Heal yourself. Rebuild yourself. You sound like such a sweet and caring person...as soon as you become stronger and more secure in who you are, you'll find an amazing girl who treats you wonderfully. But please. Ditch this bitch.