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Wife had an affair ,i have a question for you guys

jimmy828ri

By jimmy828ri,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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jimmy828ri

jimmy828ri

Posted
Posted

ok so my wife had an emotional/physical affair , lasted 3 months , she said she was going to break it off and has told me 3 times she broke it off , once at his house for a few hours , shes been continuing to text with him daily , she has now decided its time to break it off with him for good and decided that they would go for dinner to talk and break it off ,

 

now can any of you tell me if this is all normal or ok , i feel its absolute bull****

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WhatYouWantToHear

WhatYouWantToHear

Posted
Posted

Its absolutely normal. And by "it" I mean stringing you along to think she's actually going to end her relationship with this guy

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NervisPervis

NervisPervis

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...told me 3 times she broke it off , once at his house for a few hours...

 

she has now decided its time to break it off with him for good and decided that they would go for dinner to talk and break it off,

 

Next time she breaks it off will be during breakfast in bed.

 

Are you kidding me? She's going to tell him she can't date her affair partner any more while on a...date?

 

:confused:

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GorillaTheater

GorillaTheater

Posted
Posted

Jesus wept.

 

Your "wife" has made her decision, and now you need to take action:

 

1) Separate finances. Cancel joint credit cards.

 

2) File for divorce. Arrange to have her served about the time she's picking up her clothes from the front yard where you've dumped them.

 

3) Wish her well with the OM. She's now his problem, not yours.

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Feelin Frisky

Feelin Frisky

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Its absolutely normal. And by "it" I mean stringing you along to think she's actually going to end her relationship with this guy

 

 

Perfect screen name for that post. ^

 

To the OPer, my sympathies but I think you should seriously consider that you may wind up the man without a chair when the music stops. You seem pretty calm as it is. A lot of guys go bananas over this and don't accept second and third chances or ongoing rationalizations why she needs to "talk" to this other guy. It would be over for me. I can't be number two or three in what's supposed to be my one and one partnership.

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ComingInHot

ComingInHot

Posted
Posted

Jimmy828ri;

"...its absolute bull****..."

 

If it looks like bull**** and it smells like bull**** then by God man it IS bull****!!!!!

 

Not that affairs are "normal", but what happens after the A is outed is "usually" the following:

1. NO CONTACT (ABSOLUTE NEVER EVER TALK TO OM AGAIN!!!)

a. exception - WW calls OM IN YOUR PRESENCE to END the A

 

2. WW Blocks all avenues of communication with OM

a. phone & email contact information - DELETED & BLOCKED

b. instant messaging and FB DELETED & BLOCKED

c. THIS IS SOMETHING SHE MUST DECIDE SHE WILL DO IN ORDER TO

WORK ON MARRIAGE & REBUILD TRUST & not get sucked back

into A w/MM

 

3. BOTH PARTIES DECIDE WHAT/HOW/IF there is to be Reconciliation

a. if R then MC

 

Jimmy, there are a-lot of variations to the above but most of the time Contact with the OM/OW is DONE unless the cheating spouse is ready to end the marriage.

 

Have you told her the new rules she needs to agree to if she is seeking to stay married to you and reconcile?

 

none of this is easy. NONE OF IT. My heart goes out to you.

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Bryanp

Bryanp

Posted
Posted

If the roles were reversed would your wife accept such humiliation and disrespect from you? No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. Why would she respect a husband who is so accepting and forgiving as you for her to engage in these activities with your knowledge. I sincerely suggest that:

1. You and wife get tested for STD's immediately.

2. Contact the OM's significant other.

3. Contact an attorney to understand your options.

 

You wife clearly shows by her actions that she has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

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GSB81

GSB81

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Posted

Wow, some women really have nerve. He's the other man, he isn't supposed to get an easy let down over dinner. That's not how this works. At most he should get a phone call on speaker phone saying "hey my husband knows I'm a whore but has decided to give me another shot, so we can't screw around anymore" click.

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loversquarrel

loversquarrel

Posted
Posted

Man that sucks. Sorry to hear that, been there. I hate to say what you already know, but by her dragging her feet (LITERALLY DRAGGING) she is basically screaming out to you where her heart is. She clearly is having a hard time letting this guy go and there is a reason for it.

 

Time to cut the cord.

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road

road

Posted
Posted
Jimmy828ri;

"...its absolute bull****..."

 

If it looks like bull**** and it smells like bull**** then by God man it IS bull****!!!!!

 

Not that affairs are "normal", but what happens after the A is outed is "usually" the following:

1. NO CONTACT (ABSOLUTE NEVER EVER TALK TO OM AGAIN!!!)

a. exception - WW calls OM IN YOUR PRESENCE to END the A

 

2. WW Blocks all avenues of communication with OM

a. phone & email contact information - DELETED & BLOCKED

b. instant messaging and FB DELETED & BLOCKED

c. THIS IS SOMETHING SHE MUST DECIDE SHE WILL DO IN ORDER TO

WORK ON MARRIAGE & REBUILD TRUST & not get sucked back

into A w/MM

 

3. BOTH PARTIES DECIDE WHAT/HOW/IF there is to be Reconciliation

a. if R then MC

 

Jimmy, there are a-lot of variations to the above but most of the time Contact with the OM/OW is DONE unless the cheating spouse is ready to end the marriage.

 

Have you told her the new rules she needs to agree to if she is seeking to stay married to you and reconcile?

 

none of this is easy. NONE OF IT. My heart goes out to you.

 

 

 

"...its absolute bull****..."

 

If it looks like bull**** and it smells like bull**** then by God man it IS bull****!!!!!

 

 

This man needs to taste the bull manure

Then eat the bull manure

Then digest the bull manure

Then recycle the bull manure aka take a dump

Then examine the bull manure

Then still be in denial about his WW banging the OM when they met for "dinner".

 

You need to get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley. ASAP.

 

How did you find out about the affair?

How did your WW meet the OM?

Does he live close?

 

You must expose this affair. Is the OM married?

Expose the affair to OMW, OM parents.

Expose WW parents, siblings.

 

Do not warn or threaten your WW that you will expose if she does not end her affair. Warning enables WW to preempt your exposure which will diminish exposures effectiveness.

 

Demand NC with OM, and have WW write a NC letter. Brief and to the point that the affair was wrong, she regrets all the pain she has caused her family, and is going NC with the OM forever.

 

Then block the OM emails, and get WW a new phone number.

 

Then you must be vigilent and check for NC. Without telling WW monitor the phone bills, hide a VAR in the house and in WW car. GPS her car as well. As part of getting WW a new phone number get WW a new cell that has GPS feature and have it enabled. Do not tell WW about that feature.

 

How long have you been married?

Ages WW, BH?

Kids?

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Chi townD

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Could be bunnies posting, but on the off chance that it's not.

 

If your wife was absolutely 100% committed to working on the marriage, then all that would be required is her picking up the phone and saying it's over and to never contact me again.

 

That's it! Plain and simple. No need to go out on a date to end things. She actually expects you to be okay with her going out on a date? REALLY?!?!

 

If she says she's going, you should tell her that if she walks out that door, shewalks out on her marriage. You'll have all her sh*t packed and on the porch and the locks will be changed.

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nofool4u

nofool4u

Posted
Posted
ok so my wife had an emotional/physical affair , lasted 3 months , she said she was going to break it off and has told me 3 times she broke it off , once at his house for a few hours , shes been continuing to text with him daily , she has now decided its time to break it off with him for good and decided that they would go for dinner to talk and break it off ,

 

now can any of you tell me if this is all normal or ok , i feel its absolute bull****

 

 

Its absolute bull****. She thinks you should put up with her meeting him for dinner to break it to him gently? Oh hell no.

 

You tell her to call him while you sit and listen and have her tell him its over and to never contact her again.

 

Really? She thinks you should be ok with her letting him down easy over dinner? F*&* letting him down easy. Neither him or your wife deserve that to happen.

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ComingInHot

ComingInHot

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Posted

Road;

 

I like your post Twice! :D

 

way better than mine because You offered materials for him & I just pissed n' moaned...

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Darth Vader

Darth Vader

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Posted
Road;

 

I like your post Twice! :D

 

way better than mine because You offered materials for him & I just pissed n' moaned...

 

 

Be careful saying it that way, that could be taken many ways on here!:eek::p:lmao::rolleyes:BTW J/K I couldn't resist the Dark Side!

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AbeNormal

AbeNormal

Posted
Posted (edited)
I don't get it :confused: ??

 

You don't need to. (Or, perhaps better said, you might not actually want to...)

 

J/K is, of course, "just kidding".

 

The main statement/reference actually has absolutely nothing to do with "on here" - I suspect it just follows from someone with a particular mindset watching too much porn (and, as they do so, numbing themselves and sinking deeper and deeper into that virtual world - particularly as concerns degrading acts involving/towards women). Just a thought.

Edited by AbeNormal
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MichiganMan222

MichiganMan222

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Posted

When they're at dinner she is not breaking it off, but rather laughing and making fun of you because you gave her permission to go on a date with this guy. Pretty soon you'll be fetching beers for him in your home after she invites him over to 'break it off' (in the bedroom so she can have privacy, of course while you watch TV). And if will be YOUR beer!

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firemanq

firemanq

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Jesus wept.

 

Your "wife" has made her decision, and now you need to take action:

 

1) Separate finances. Cancel joint credit cards.

 

2) File for divorce. Arrange to have her served at work, just after lunch .

 

3) Wish her well with the OM. She's now his problem, not yours.

 

There, fixed it for you

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jimmy828ri

jimmy828ri

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No, sorry lol I'm here, just been trying to cope with all this, it's a ton of **** to deal with, she's31 and hes 53 wich is fkin disgusting in itself, im still debating kicking his teeth in or punishing him by sending my wife to live there with him

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