WHY HIDE YOUR FEELINGS? - geez, georgina is getting frustrated

[georgina]

I want to give my boyfriend a taste of life without me, to make him appreciate me more. But it's sooooo difficult, i mean, we don't spend enough time with each other as it is, and i want to see him.

 

I also feel that if maybe I step away from him, and ignore some of his sms messages, and decline invitations out, that he might feel i'm not interested, and so instead of trying harder with me, he might step back even further because he feels depressed.

 

I know i have felt this way before. Sometimes when he's being really distant, I just feel like making him do all the work in the relationship for a change because I'm angry at him. And so I step back and see what he does. Perhaps he'll do the same, because he'll be unsure if i like him (which i think is the major prob with both of us anyway).........what should i do to make him show his feelings more???? I mean geez, it's not like he needs to feel that I won't return his sentiments, I'M the one who usually tells him my feelings and kisses him.

 

SIGH PEOPLE, SIGH, what's the freakin matter with guys of this generation!!!!!!!!!

[Ed]

This little tit-for-tat relationship you describe is not a healthy situation for either of you. I know that you are trying to discover what his true feelings are for you, but this is not the way to do it. In fact there is no way to do it. All these ideas you have of how to manipulate him into telling you his feelings are not going to work. It would not matter if you had him in a hammer-lock for hours (for those not familiar with WWF wrestling, the hammer lock is a very painful arm hold that can lead to serious injury if used without proper training - DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME). If he doesn't want to tell you his feelings or doesn't know how to tell you his feelings, it's not going to happen.

 

You have told him your feelings already. Now, tell him what you expect from a loving, caring boyfriend. If he doesn't give it to you, then you have every right to look elsewhere and you should.

[Tony T]

Did you read your post? If not, read it. It is the post of someone who is not happy with their relationship, who is not fulfilled.

 

I take it for granted that you have done everything possible to get this man to see what your needs are. Assuming this is correct, what further are you trying to accomplish here. If you stick by a Volkswagen for a million years, it will not turn into a Rolls Royce. So what's the issue here?

 

This guy isn't going to change. Your relationship is not going to magically transform into the wonderful situation of your dreams. Oh, yes, anything's possible. You can dream.

 

If I get in a relationship where I feel I have to give my partner a taste of life without me, ignore his messages, decline invitations, etc. in order to get my emotional needs met, I always get a new relationship. Being aloof and unpredictable is often a great route to passion. However, if you're dealing with a loser who doesn't have the capacity to react properly, you end up the loser.

 

Give things some thought. I'm sorry you don't have much good to say about this guy but there must be some reason you're hanging around. Maybe you're waiting for him to change. I'm waiting to win the lottery.

[Deejette]

I think you can show your feelings. Hiding feelings is for the beginning of relationships, where you haven't solidified anything and coming on too strong may seem prematurely clingy and thus may drive the other person away.

 

But once a relationship has gone beyond the casual dating phase, then it is game-playing to hide your feelings. To withdraw in hopes that he will come forward with the emotions that you demand might backfire on you. He could withdraw too, leaving you with the exact opposite effect you were trying to achieve.

 

It's best to level with him about your feelings and what you need from him. Then he won't have to be a mind-reader about what your actions really mean.

Did you read your post? If not, read it. It is the post of someone who is not happy with their relationship, who is not fulfilled. I take it for granted that you have done everything possible to get this man to see what your needs are. Assuming this is correct, what further are you trying to accomplish here. If you stick by a Volkswagen for a million years, it will not turn into a Rolls Royce. So what's the issue here? This guy isn't going to change. Your relationship is not going to magically transform into the wonderful situation of your dreams. Oh, yes, anything's possible. You can dream. If I get in a relationship where I feel I have to give my partner a taste of life without me, ignore his messages, decline invitations, etc. in order to get my emotional needs met, I always get a new relationship. Being aloof and unpredictable is often a great route to passion. However, if you're dealing with a loser who doesn't have the capacity to react properly, you end up the loser. Give things some thought. I'm sorry you don't have much good to say about this guy but there must be some reason you're hanging around. Maybe you're waiting for him to change. I'm waiting to win the lottery.

[marisa]

I want to give my boyfriend a taste of life without me, to make him appreciate me more. But it's sooooo difficult, i mean, we don't spend enough time with each other as it is, and i want to see him. I also feel that if maybe I step away from him, and ignore some of his sms messages, and decline invitations out, that he might feel i'm not interested, and so instead of trying harder with me, he might step back even further because he feels depressed. I know i have felt this way before. Sometimes when he's being really distant, I just feel like making him do all the work in the relationship for a change because I'm angry at him. And so I step back and see what he does. Perhaps he'll do the same, because he'll be unsure if i like him (which i think is the major prob with both of us anyway).........what should i do to make him show his feelings more???? I mean geez, it's not like he needs to feel that I won't return his sentiments, I'M the one who usually tells him my feelings and kisses him. SIGH PEOPLE, SIGH, what's the freakin matter with guys of this generation!!!!!!!!!