Author 9Lives Posted September 2, 2004 Author Share Posted September 2, 2004 I will agree with you. Not all men are the same. I wish you the best. Nothing less. I have heard from him since this posting. We are over. He feels God in his heart and he can't do it anymore. Oh well...I am better off anyway. I know it. At least the door is closed instead of dangling open. I am down of course but I think I am going to make it this time. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 I wish you the best! You will be fine! I have NOT heard from him and I am moving on. I know I deserve better and the person I want to love me would not ignore me and then come bak when HE feels like it. I get sad and then do ok for a few days. Once I get a good cry out, I am ok for a few more days. I know that he loved me and I do not know how hard it is to divorce once it finally happens. I am just assuming we are done. It sounds weird, but I do not even want to be with a man like this -he is selfish. I think I want to know he wants me? I guess I will get over that. It still breaks my heart that he is not loving me like he used to. Oh well...life goes on they say. I have tried everything and I have no choice anymore. Moving on is my only option. Sux after 2 yrs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted September 2, 2004 Author Share Posted September 2, 2004 i know what you mean. You can only do what makes you feel better. I read this article. It really hit home. Here it is. Tell me what you think. http://myst.betterbox.net/sadlove1.html Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 I read that before and I cannot really read that stuff right now..I get to upset. Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 JV as hard as it was to hear...at least he had the decency to let you know where he stands so you can move on and know what is going on with him, feelings wise....Like Beth, no answer is sometimes worse....being left hanging to try and "figure out" things sucks...I would have much rather have had him had the courage to just tell me...I practicalloy begged him to break up with me..but he said he didn't want to each time....instead he just started seeing someone much younger...,.perhaps as a way to sooth his own pain?! I'll never know!! I'll never know how he really felt about me, if the whole relationship was just a farse...nothing...I won't ever get answers and that is so crazy making. I agree Beth, it is incredibly selfish...they are thinking ONLY about their feelings....we would never benefit from taking a man of this sort back....his selfish ways would likely surface in other areas down the road. Hang in there guys!! Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 It really does suck to not have answers. I do not know if we are done or what? I assume we are, but who knows? I hate him for this. I wish I knew. I do not want a man like this in my future, but I also hate that I did nothing wrong and he has the control. Snilljente.....is it getting easier for you? How did we get fooled? I truly loved him and I know he loved me. I just have no answers. If I did, at least I could hate him and move on. Now i am in limbo. I think he wants it that way to kinda keep the door open for him. I have been contact free for 11 days now. I cannot give in again. I just get more upset. Thanks for all the help guys! This is tough. I think i miss being in love...not specifically with him ya know-it is hard to erase all the future plans we had. Esp when I am not sure he has? I hate not knowing!!!I would think we were done if he did not do this to me once before. Said he was "scared" with everything going on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted September 3, 2004 Author Share Posted September 3, 2004 Beth, I know how you feel and fortunately I got the guy I was dealing with to understand how terrible that is when he does that. So i did not have to suffer through THAT particular pain again. I have learned alot. Beth I wish I could do something to make you stop hurting. I did not mean to send you that article to hurt you more. It actually helped me to realize that this kind of life is emotionally devasting and it actually is not good for your well being. It is natural for us to feel this kind of pain because it is a form of being deserted. Just like a sudden death of something you love. So dont feel bad about hurting dear. i just watch a movie about a guy who went to jail for something he did not do. Now that made me think well at least I am not in jail. All i am saying is life could be worst. I will say anything to make you feel better Beth. I am fortunate to been able to get closure so I want to help you thru this. Let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 I guess it could be worse. I need to focus on what I do have. I need closure, but as long as I know that it was not my fault and it is his issue, I think I can do this w/out closure. Everything makes me think of good times with him. (Even though they were 2 yrs a go). It is weird...for the last yr i had been trying to leave him. I think I am mad he did it first. Thanks for being here for me. It helps to vent whenI am down. I feel I am getting stronger. The only problem is memories -I guess I can make good memories with others-right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted September 3, 2004 Author Share Posted September 3, 2004 Well think of it this way... It was fun, exciting, and you are glad you experienced the love but now it is time to meet the prize. The prize is someone who can adore, love, cherish, and be there for you. This guy that left is not able to provide the long term relationship you deserve. If he came back you would be so scared that he was going to leave again that you would be paranoid all the time and uptight. So try to start there. It was fun, you had a good time, it was a great experience. But the best is yet to come. Now go enjoy your life!! Link to post Share on other sites
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