heartbroken32 Posted August 28, 2004 Share Posted August 28, 2004 My brother committed suicide twelve years ago. At that time, I was a troubled kid myself. I was seventeen, my mother was remarried to an alcholic who abused me emotionally. I was living with friends at the time he committed suicde and I think i was just "numb." I guess i was shocked because I thought my brother made something out of his life. He was about an hour away, and I just thought he was doing the family thing, and thought I was a nut case or something. I myself at this time was in and out of an adolescent psychiatric hospital and I had bipolar. The past few years I have married a great guy and I believe my brother was always watching out for me with my other angels. After my brother’s death, his estranged wife moved out of state. My mother didn't try to locate her through her family when they made contact. My brother took care of me before he got married. I remember my brother protecting me and treating me like a princess. My parents divorced shortly after he got married and the family took dysfunction to a new level. He stayed away and I resented him at the time. But as I got older I understood why. I only wish I got to know him as an adult. I wish he could of met my husband. Well my hubby says he knows my brother. After I got married I guess I felt safe or something. My hubby is a therapist and says I was trying to survive and was just numb. But after I got married I would cry and cry and then cry some more. I realized I was not going to see my brother again. Well not in this lifetime anyway. In recent years I have done searches and search to locate my niece and nephew. In my brothers suicide note to the family (mom, dad, my brothers and me) he stated “please tell my children I was not a violent man" I knew there identity would be kept private as long as they were under 18. Well about two months ago, I FINALLY found my nephew. It is not the reaction I expected. He is in the military, doesn't talk much with his family and is very angry. He wanted to know where I have been. I told him in one email that I was younger than he is now when his dad passed. He isn't the boy I thought I was going to connect with again. I don't know how to get though. He hasn't called or sent me a picture and replies to emails very seldom. Gosh I feel old. I don't feel like I am up on the current things he would be into. Does anyone have ANY SUGGESTIONS? Please help... Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Trager Posted August 28, 2004 Share Posted August 28, 2004 hey, u will probly never get the response u want. i'm adopted, and i realize that when i and if i find my birth parents, i'm probly going to face a reality i dont want to have to deal with. however i've giving situations like these long thought. obviously u did ur best to locate them. just show u care still. they have a life of their own now and might not really want to bring up the past yet. maybe they have to come to terms with things on their own, or maybe they never exepted the death. who knows is it posible they blamed theirself? as an adoptie who knows others that are adopted i know the common fantasie of what if.. they came and got me, what if.. there is something better. i bet they thought, quite nievely, as we all do at a young age, that there was a rescue coming, i mean they had to dream about it. Give um some time, and remember, opining up the past can create new scars, so be carefull! Link to post Share on other sites
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