Stubborn husband might leave me

[Yasuandio]

Sure!! Hehe not tats? Thats surprising!!

 

Tojaz has hot tats! He's got it all up and down his arms: goth girls, crosses, flowing Asian water scenes, and a couple sugar skills. Prison chain link around one ankle. That is what I imagine!

 

 

PS Mack, your pix rocks! Your good look'in dude!

Edited March 22, 2013 by Yasuandio

[Jennyfromtheblick]

Tojaz has hot tats! He's got it all up and down his arms: goth girls, crosses, flowing Asian water scenes, and a couple sugar skills. Prison chain link around one ankle. That is what I imagine!

 

 

PS Mack, your pix rocks! Your good look'in dude!

 

Mack your cute! Are you Irish??? My niece would die shes MADLY in love with that Irish boy from one direction

[Jennyfromtheblick]

Tojaz has hot tats! He's got it all up and down his arms: goth girls, crosses, flowing Asian water scenes, and a couple sugar skills. Prison chain link around one ankle. That is what I imagine!

 

 

PS Mack, your pix rocks! Your good look'in dude!

 

Omg seriously?? Tojaz doesnt seem like a tat guy

[Jennyfromtheblick]

Ok this is interesting: i forgot to mention this earlier but in our 4am talk when i told john he doesnt act like a husband i also included he doesnt ask about my day or me. Sorry i had said so much on no sleep i forgot till him and i were talking tonight.

 

So he comes home and is friendly. I had a box of scentsy stuff and he smelled some if the scents i ordered. I then apologized for acting pms-sy and he nodded like he was accepting my apology. I said howd it go dropping off your application he said not so good but i can tell you that later more importantly how was your day? I was surprised he asked and i said thanks for asking i had a good day and i told him about. Then he told me he was offered a position for a tad bit more $ but the schedule stinks.

 

Ok so we even joked he was in fridge and i said what ta doung he said im hungry i said well geez john you could of brought hone dinner.. He laughed and said your right why dont i go fet us some. So like always it takes us an hour to decide what take out to get. In the meantime while my niece and her friend decide he mentions his buddy asked him to help him this spring/summer with his boat team and john said id like to help. But im not going to because its so many drunks and i just hate dealing with dumb drunks. He said he probably would be good for me though cause it would help me "cope"!

 

That word cope sounds like someone who is going to be going through something bad. So though we are talking great and joking and he asked me about my day him using that word killed it.

 

Thoughts?

[Jennyfromtheblick]

I'm sure you nailed Tojaz. But you only got me partially. I am reasonable height, but where huge platform shoes and boots - which really up my height considerably. I do not leave the house without being dressed to the 9's - there you are very correct. My style is Trendy, Chic, Punk. I have long, bright unnaturally red hair, with papaya highlights and chocolate lowlights - sharp bangs, all staight. Medium weight. Drive a red Z3. Thick Chicago/European accent.

 

Yes, pool shark - how did you know that? My brother and I took a lot of money off people with that game. I would play dumb broad - and Bro would play medocre pool. Until we got challenged. Suddenly, I play left-handed one-handed pool - and make make large bet on it, when suckers got drunk. Noone really noticed I was already playing left-handed. Always won.

 

I imagine Mack like the best looking guy at the most expensive business man's bar and restaurant. We have one her in Atlanta called MacKinzie's I think. I glass of wine is like at least $15 bucks. Dinner, at least $100 a plate. Mack is the tall, dark, slim handsome one in the Armani suit.

 

Jenny, I see you as a sweet, innocent flower child, dressed all in 100% cotton. With long flowing blonde highlights, and worn out, sexy jeans.

 

PS Mack, can I see your facebook too?

 

Lol like jenny from forrest gump? I wish shes way prettier!!

[Yasuandio]

Omg seriously?? Tojaz doesnt seem like a tat guy

 

Hon, I'm just imaging that, I don't really know. But I think it is pretty easy to guess - or at least, that is my image of him in my head. His name sort of sounds like a tat name, "Tojaz."

 

Here is an example of Tojaz decribing a tat: "Yeah man, I'm going for a chameleon crawling up my neck to keep me company; configure his body just above my wiskers to suggest a patch of grass where he can hide."

 

I could just see Tojaz saying that, and then relaxing in the tat-chair with his headphones playing Metallica, while they stick 'em.

Edited March 22, 2013 by Yasuandio

[Jennyfromtheblick]

Hon, I'm just imaging that, I don't really know. But I think it is pretty easy to guess - or at least, that is my image of him in my head. His name sort of sounds like a tat name, "Tojaz."

 

Here is an example of Tojaz decribing a tat: "Yeah man, I'm going for a chameleon crawling up my neck to keep me company; configure his body just above my wiskers to suggest a patch of grass where he can hide."

 

I could just see Tojaz saying that, and then relaxing in the tat-chair with his headphones playing Metallica, while they stick 'em.

 

Lol hey i added 3 pics to my page or whatever on my profile so u can see me

[Yasuandio]

Lol hey i added 3 pics to my page or whatever on my profile so u can see me

 

 

Hon, did you know you're a knock-out? OMG.

 

Do not cater to this guy, John. What a damn fool. LOL. I never use those letters, but after seeing you photo, I turned over a new leaf.

 

Man, you have your pick of guys out there, anyone you want. You are young and beautiful, and that smile would melt ANY man. It melts me, and I am female (well, I do enjoy looking at females)! Flash that smile, you will get out of any ticket, any man will bend over backwards to help you, and to give you what you want and desire, and deserve, ten-fold. When Mack sees that photo, he's going to stroke out. Tojaz, he will end up scraching off a prized tatoo. Mark my words.

 

Forest Gump's Jenny = No way. You are too damn sophistacated-looking.

 

I think it would be fun to dress you up in my 100% cotton fantasy, with pig-tails. The jeans need to be real faded low-riders, with lots of horizontal rips. And Cow Girl Boots. How does that sound, guys? Yas

Edited March 23, 2013 by Yasuandio

[Jennyfromtheblick]

Hon, did you know you're a knock-out? OMG.

 

Do not cater to this guy, John. What a damn fool. LOL. I never use those letters, but after seeing you photo, I turned over a new leaf.

 

Man, you have your pick of guys out there, anyone you want. You are young and beautiful, and that smile would melt ANY man. It melts me, and I am female (well, I do enjoy looking at females)! Flash that smile, you will get out of any ticket, any man will bend over backwards to help you, and to give you what you want and desire, and deserve, ten-fold. When Mack sees that photo, he's going to stroke out.

 

Forest Gump's Jenny = No way. You are too damn sophistacated-looking.

 

I think it would be fun to dress you up in my 100% cotton fantasy, with pig-tailsly. The jeans need to be real faded low-riders, with lots of horizontal rips. And Cow Girl Boots. How does that sound, guys? Yas

 

Lol you realize i only put up the best pictures i had right? Did you read my

Post about tonight?

[Yasuandio]

Ok this is interesting: i forgot to mention this earlier but in our 4am talk when i told john he doesnt act like a husband i also included he doesnt ask about my day or me. Sorry i had said so much on no sleep i forgot till him and i were talking tonight.

 

So he comes home and is friendly. I had a box of scentsy stuff and he smelled some if the scents i ordered. I then apologized for acting pms-sy and he nodded like he was accepting my apology. I said howd it go dropping off your application he said not so good but i can tell you that later more importantly how was your day? I was surprised he asked and i said thanks for asking i had a good day and i told him about. Then he told me he was offered a position for a tad bit more $ but the schedule stinks.

 

Ok so we even joked he was in fridge and i said what ta doung he said im hungry i said well geez john you could of brought hone dinner.. He laughed and said your right why dont i go fet us some. So like always it takes us an hour to decide what take out to get. In the meantime while my niece and her friend decide he mentions his buddy asked him to help him this spring/summer with his boat team and john said id like to help. But im not going to because its so many drunks and i just hate dealing with dumb drunks. He said he probably would be good for me though cause it would help me "cope"!

 

That word cope sounds like someone who is going to be going through something bad. So though we are talking great and joking and he asked me about my day him using that word killed it.

 

Thoughts?

 

Now hon, this is a post-photo response.

 

Why in the eff would a lovely, sophiscated girl like you, with such a beautiful smile, want to help his drucken boat team as a coping mechinism to, I presume, get over the intimated suggestion that he may not be signing the lease, may be moving out, may be divorcing you, and you will be "coping" with that, or something like that, in the near future?

 

Nonetheless, "coping" is in your future, and a drunken Boat team get-to-gether, with John in attendance, is supposed to assist you in "coping?" Like right.

 

I admire your cool.

 

But the question is so bloody innane, and so rubs salt in the wounds, and so presents an offer that is so CRUDELY ridiculous, that if I were there - he's be so online looking up oralsurgeoninmyneighborhood.com to have his entire jawbone reconfigured.

 

Those are my thoughts.

Edited March 23, 2013 by Yasuandio

[Yasuandio]

Lol you realize i only put up the best pictures i had right? Did you read my

Post about tonight?

 

You better believe I did. I am re-reading it, and perhaps the tense was confusing.

 

And I don't give a whip if he is talking about your "coping" or his "coping." My impression is exactly the same.

Edited March 23, 2013 by Yasuandio

[Jennyfromtheblick]

Now hon, this is a post-photo response.

 

Why in the eff would a lovely, sophiscated girl like you, with such a beautiful smile, want to help his drucken boat team as a coping mechinism to, I presume, get over the intimated suggestion that he may not be signing the lease, may be moving out, may be divorcing you, and you will be "coping" with that, or something like that, in the near future?

 

Nonetheless, "coping" is in your future, and a drunken Boat team get-to-gether, with John in attendance, is supposed to assist you in "coping?" Like right.

 

I admire your cool.

 

But the question is so bloody innane, and so rubs salt in the wounds, and so presents an offer that is so CRUDELY ridiculous, that if I were there - he's be so online looking up oralsurgeoninmyneighborhood.com to have his entire jawbone reconfigured.

 

Those are my thoughts.

 

Lol not me help the boat team johns friend asked john to help this spring and summer. He used to build small boats in the marines so thats whatthey wanted him for. John doesnt want to because though it would help him "cope" he cant and doesnt want to be around drunks. He said the building boats and watching them race part is cool but not the people that are around it.

 

I took his word cope as hed be coping with a divorce or etc and he meant like it woukd help him deal with it by distracting him but again just a guess no clue whàt he means

[Yasuandio]

Lol not me help the boat team johns friend asked john to help this spring and summer. He used to build small boats in the marines so thats whatthey wanted him for. John doesnt want to because though it would help him "cope" he cant and doesnt want to be around drunks. He said the building boats and watching them race part is cool but not the people that are around it.

 

I took his word cope as hed be coping with a divorce or etc and he meant like it woukd help him deal with it by distracting him but again just a guess no clue whàt he means

 

I comprehend I mis-read it. But my position remains the same. How dare he speak of his "coping issues" in your face, when he will not man-up and leave the premises, and/or give a straight answer on leaving? To top it off, act "as if" things are "peachy keen" - by that, I mean stuff like shaking your footie, waking you from a nap. I find that conduct misleading to say the least.

 

I'm sorry Jenny, but this statment he is making, is just another monkey wrench. It could mean he is coping with the trama of your mistake OR coping with the trama of upcoming separation and divorce.

 

I would have asked, "What does that mean?" As I re-think it now, I'm not sure what it means. Back to square one. Man, this is perplexing.

 

My next question is: What about Jenny coping issues? Did he ever think of that?

 

Jenny, we got to get feedback from others. I really do fly off the handle. Tojaz would tell me to calm down right now. So I'm gonna, are you ok till someone else comes on?

Edited March 23, 2013 by Yasuandio

[Jennyfromtheblick]

Im good Yas! Ty for all the compliments!! It made my night

[tojaz]

Wanna hear something funny??

 

Tojaz is going to have like 5 pages to read to keep up. Poor guy then on top of it he will be prevy to the period talk!! Lol

 

Poor Tojaz

 

I just like feeling included LOL.

 

If Tojaz was forced to deliver a baby in the back of a taxi, he wouldn't even blink.

I'm not sure that's true, but I appreciate it Yas

 

I picture tojaz as this muscle guy that paints cars and listens to metallica

Huh?

Tojaz has hot tats! He's got it all up and down his arms: goth girls, crosses, flowing Asian water scenes, and a couple sugar skills. Prison chain link around one ankle. That is what I imagine!

Double Huh?:confused:

 

Omg seriously?? Tojaz doesnt seem like a tat guy

No, not seriously!!!

 

Hon, I'm just imaging that, I don't really know. But I think it is pretty easy to guess - or at least, that is my image of him in my head. His name sort of sounds like a tat name, "Tojaz."

 

Here is an example of Tojaz decribing a tat: "Yeah man, I'm going for a chameleon crawling up my neck to keep me company; configure his body just above my wiskers to suggest a patch of grass where he can hide."

 

I could just see Tojaz saying that, and then relaxing in the tat-chair with his headphones playing Metallica, while they stick 'em.

Ok, seriously now! Is this just what people think just because i work on cars? LOL

 

Sorry ladies, only ink on me is if a pen meets its untimely demise. Truth is, most people who meet me can never guess what I do for a living and I've even walked through my shop in street clothes and guys I have worked with for 10 years didn't know it was me!

 

6'4" mid 30's about 260 that hangs pretty well, but no body builder by any means. Dark blonde hair, beard and glasses.

 

Photos in my profile but haven't updated them in years, I can send a link to something more recent.

 

Oh, and Tojaz is not a tat name, he doesn't listen to Metallica either, and Jenny, your photos are lovely, John is out of his mind!

 

TOJAZ

Edited March 23, 2013 by tojaz

[tojaz]

It tells me he wants out!!

 

I don't really read that...

 

He said he isnt disagreeing that i deserve to be treated better. I did tell him about the lease he didnt say much. He said why cant you just be on it urself and i explained what they said he looked puzzled but never said anything else about that.

 

I read that, and to me, while it doesn't proclaim he's staying it very conspicuously doesn't say anything about him leaving. In past interactions he was very blatant about drawing that line in the sand for you, now he's tap dancing around it completely.

 

I've noticed Jenny, that when your down your perceptions take a very negative spin, the opposite is also true and obviously that would be true for most people. The reality is somewhere in the middle of that. Mood is always going to play a role, but don't lose your perspective, it was a rough night, but there are positives there.

 

TOJAZ

[Jennyfromtheblick]

I don't really read that...

 

 

 

I read that, and to me, while it doesn't proclaim he's staying it very conspicuously doesn't say anything about him leaving. In past interactions he was very blatant about drawing that line in the sand for you, now he's tap dancing around it completely.

 

I've noticed Jenny, that when your down your perceptions take a very negative spin, the opposite is also true and obviously that would be true for most people. The reality is somewhere in the middle of that. Mood is always going to play a role, but don't lose your perspective, it was a rough night, but there are positives there.

 

TOJAZ

 

 

I know it was a ton to keep up with but im curious your take on the whole interaction tonight and his referring to helping the friend as helping him cope.

 

 

We did watch a movie together! Prior to the movie we werechatting about some people we know and it turned into a conversation about johns feelings and he made a statement i found interesting. He said so many of people we thought were our friends ended up to not be they ended up being fake, liars, users etc. He said at least "if i look in the mirror i cant lie to myself. People can say all kinds of things and theres no way to know if they are lying but i can count on i cant lie to myself"

 

Maybe im reading into this but i think this is how he feels about me likehe cant get to that trust level again and he onlycan trust himself. I can understand that actually! Im different i could forgive but not everyone is me. I think as of today he plans on going.

 

I can only hope if things can continue to go positive it will put doubt in him. I think thats where he is right now. I dont think hes 100% but i think hes 90% this is so much deeper than just him getting over it. I think this has to due with his own demons he cant fight off. Its a trust thing but its also a crippling fear thing too. So so sad to see him so weak to fear.

[trippi1432]

(raises hand) Tats and...well, Metallica is actually a very good band...I'm shopping my next ink at the moment. Everything is not always as it appears.

 

Two things....the coping comment and the issue with him seeing people as fake, but looking in the mirror, he can't lie to himself.

 

Well, yes, he can be lying to himself. People lie to themselves all the time, but I will say that I feel John is pulling inside himself. It sounds as if he feels he can only rely on him. When he hits rock bottom on that, it won't matter if he is still living there with you or living somewhere else. Once that emotional connection is completely gone, you will become a distant memory. I've been on both sides of that equation.

 

What perpetuated these thoughts John has....anyone's guess. But if I were to walk a mile in John's shoes, I would say that his comment about how things were going good for a week and now this....to the information about the lease and taking his name off....we seem to just be back to push/pull or perhaps how he is seeing things. When we push to see how the other will react, we run the risk of losing....when we are consistent in our actions, words and behavior....we earn trust.

 

You can have a Plan B Jen of getting your ducks in a row...perhaps he is compiling his as well, but neither of you have to advertise it to each other. I feel John's reaction tonight was nothing more than his really thinking what he needs to do for himself since you told him about the lease.

[Gunny376]

I've been out of the loop here last week! Sister died last Friday, and then as I drove the 22 miles to work, I find myself stubbling and fumbling into the local towns Sherrifs Dept saying "Need Help Now! Call 911! Doubled up in pain with my abdomenal pain. Stomach virus complicated with gald stones, dehydration ~ yada ~ yada! Spent the night in the ER and the hospital.

 

Jenny I don't mean to be cruel? I know you want to save your marriage with John and all. But the worse case scerino is that your marriage with him?

 

Is over? I personally don't think it is? I don't think he's going anywhere? I could be wrong? Even if he leaves, I think and believe he's might go away for awhile? But he'll be back with the old "Let's give it another try?"

 

Why? Marines don't QUIT their posts! We're stupid that way! (Hope that answers your question Yas! And in your civilian mind and experience cannot even begin to understand what a Marine quiting his post MEANS to him!)

 

That's not to say we in the Marines don't have our deserter's, low lives, scoundrells, pieces of s****!

 

We do!

 

But John IMHO and experience? Doesn't sound like one of them! Call it my gut-instinct (OK! My gut ain't working so well at the moment! LOL!) And after 20 years in the Corps? I'm pretty good at smelling out a s***-bird, (As we call them in the Corps!)

Edited March 23, 2013 by Gunny376

[Gunny376]

Just passing curiosity?

 

You've got this vision of Yas, tojas?

 

How do you envision me?

[Mack05]

Just passing curiosity?

 

You've got this vision of Yas, tojas?

 

How do you envision me?

 

a young Willie Nelson's twin!

[AllieKat]

Just passing curiosity?

 

You've got this vision of Yas, tojas?

 

How do you envision me?

 

I seriously invision you as younger jack nicholos in a few good men/clint eastwood type! As an overall serious guy but with wisdom

[AllieKat]

(raises hand) Tats and...well, Metallica is actually a very good band...I'm shopping my next ink at the moment. Everything is not always as it appears.

 

Two things....the coping comment and the issue with him seeing people as fake, but looking in the mirror, he can't lie to himself.

 

Well, yes, he can be lying time, but I will say that I feel John is pulling inside himself. It sounds as if he feels he can only rely on him. When he hits rock bottom on that, it won't matter if he is still living there with you or living somewhere else. Once that emotional connection is completely gone, you will become a distant memory. I've been on both sides of that equation.

 

What perpetuated these thoughts John has....anyone's guess. But if I were to walk a mile in John's shoes, I would say that his comment about how things were going good for a week and now this....to the information about the lease and taking his name off....we seem to just be back to push/pull or perhaps how he is seeing things. When we push to see how the other will react, we run the risk of losing....when we are consistent in our actions, words and behavior....we earn trust.

 

You can have a Plan B Jen of getting your ducks in a row...perhaps he is compiling his as well, but neither of you have to advertise it to each other. I feel John's reaction tonight was nothing more than his really thinking what he needs to do for himself since you told him about the lease.

 

I think that is exactly how he feels like he can only count in himself.

[AllieKat]

a young Willie Nelson's twin!

 

I wasnt asked though :-) but ImO

[AllieKat]

Ok my two cents your john is all iver the place when he spits out a comment about going he counters with a nice gesture. This is confusing but I think its the sign of a CONFLICTED man. Doesnt sound like he knows what to do and thats still good. You still can get him hun. Keep on track