Necris Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Next Monday I was thinking of asking this girl I talked to recently on a date possibly on Valentine's day, if she accepts which I have an unusually good feeling that she will, will it be a bad idea to have a first date on Valentine's day? Also if this is a good idea, is a Valentine's day date any different than a regular date? If she say's yes to the date, should I bring her a simple valentine's day gift as well? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Also have you ever had dates on Valentine's Day? First dates? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Next Monday I was thinking of asking this girl I talked to recently on a date possibly on Valentine's day, if she accepts which I have an unusually good feeling that she will, will it be a bad idea to have a first date on Valentine's day? Also if this is a good idea, is a Valentine's day date any different than a regular date? If she say's yes to the date, should I bring her a simple valentine's day gift as well? Yea, that's all fine. Of course, you're going to have the added benefit of her totally bailing if she's not interested at all. I'd venture to guess most women would not go out on Valentine's Day with a man they have no interest in, even those who have ulterior motives of a platonic night out. A simple gift will further clue her in that you have romantic interest, but DEFINITELY keep it simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 If you want my opinion... ask her out instead for the night before or the nigh after. I feel like valentines day slaps a label on an otherwise casual date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Why does it have to be a "date"? Why can't it be an outing? Hmm... care to elaborate on this? Yea, that's all fine. Of course, you're going to have the added benefit of her totally bailing if she's not interested at all. I'd venture to guess most women would not go out on Valentine's Day with a man they have no interest in, even those who have ulterior motives of a platonic night out. A simple gift will further clue her in that you have romantic interest, but DEFINITELY keep it simple. I would prefer her to know that I have a romantic interest in her so time won't be wasted, so that's a benefit of asking a girl out for valentine's day. Ideas for a simple gift? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 If you want my opinion... ask her out instead for the night before or the nigh after. I feel like valentines day slaps a label on an otherwise casual date. Since Feb 14 lies on a Thursday, and I'm not so sure about her schedule she could possibly be busy that day so most likely it may end up on a Friday, but this is all assuming she accepts the date in the first place but I think she probably will. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Ideas for a simple gift? Chocolate covered strawberries. Link to post Share on other sites
MsSmurf Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 If this is a girl you've been acquainted with in person I don't see anything wrong with having your first date on Valentine's Day. However the key here is to take a little of the pressure off. Yes you want her to know you're into her, but you don't want to overwhelm her and have her thinking you're going to profess your love for her so soon. A simple gift of flowers or chocolate is really all the romance you need for a first date. I'd say opt for a more fun date that is a little more active. Perhaps bowling? Shooting pool? Maybe a comedy club? Salsa dance lessons? Something that will keep you moving and laughing will keep the vibe light and still make it clear to her that you're into her. Then for dinner opt for something casual so there's no pressure to get all dressed up and you won't have to deal with places that are fully booked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) Hmm...many cons to a VD first date. The bar can be a bit higher. My suggestion would be to ask for a Friday or Saturday night date. I honestly wouldn't do Thursday night. Traditionally Valentine's Day and birthday dates are more special. I would just plan a regular first date. Give her either a small box of chocolates or a card given the timing. I have the impression you're around 20 and in college, so a small box of Godiva's will be good enough. Chocolates are probably a better idea than the card. With a card, you have to strike just the right tone. Sufficient enthusiasm so that she doesn't feel slighted, but not so much that you scare her. Very thin line indeed! Assuming you are meeting her at the restaurant, not her house, I wouldn't do flowers. I find those awkward to deal with on a date. The trouble with salsa lessons is you'll spend very little time with her. Most instructors have you rotate partners throughout the lesson. I have yet to encounter a class where that wasn't the case. I have done a comedy club as a first date. The problem is, like going to the movies, you don't talk to your date. It's about the performance not you. I would pick something where you have an opportunity to talk and connect. Dinner, a hike somewhere scenic, etc. I don't know your specific interests, but if you can pick something related to an interest of hers, you typically get brownie points. Hope that helps:) Edited February 9, 2013 by Cutiepie1976 Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I'd avoid VD like the plague. Too much pressure. I'd be concerned about giving the girl the wrong idea about my level of committment to her when I don't really know her. If I were a guy, I'd want some breathing space at the beginning. I wouldn't want to rope myself in too soon. Actually, I think that can be applied to both sexes. If someone asked me for a date now on VD, I'd treat it like a joke ... laugh it off ... suggest another time, perhaps ... and somewhere be freaked that the guy seems so clingy. Link to post Share on other sites
PrinceAli94 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) If this is a girl you've been acquainted with in person I don't see anything wrong with having your first date on Valentine's Day. However the key here is to take a little of the pressure off. Yes you want her to know you're into her, but you don't want to overwhelm her and have her thinking you're going to profess your love for her so soon. A simple gift of flowers or chocolate is really all the romance you need for a first date. I'd say opt for a more fun date that is a little more active. Perhaps bowling? Shooting pool? Maybe a comedy club? Salsa dance lessons? Something that will keep you moving and laughing will keep the vibe light and still make it clear to her that you're into her. Then for dinner opt for something casual so there's no pressure to get all dressed up and you won't have to deal with places that are fully booked. That's great advice. I imagine a girl would say no to a date on V Day due to what it implies. It's very much so a couple's holiday which would signify a certan amount of seriousness to the relationship. Shooting for a first date on that day might overwhelm her unless she's really Into you In which case a date was a shoe In regardless. keep it simple homie Edited February 9, 2013 by PrinceAli94 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Guess a Valentine's date would potentially be a bad idea, how about a date during the weekend or the day after? Also should I give her a simple gift on valentine's day? Link to post Share on other sites
callingyouuu Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Guess a Valentine's date would potentially be a bad idea, how about a date during the weekend or the day after? Also should I give her a simple gift on valentine's day? I'm wondering if it would be better to sidestep the whole issue entirely and just ask her out not this coming Monday but after Valentine's day for sometime the following week. Avoids any possible social missteps/unnecessary pressure, which is kind of hard to predict unless you know her very well. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I say do it! Fortune favors the bold. I'm going on a second date with a guy on Valentine's Day, and I think it'll be sweet and romantic. I don't feel any particular pressure about it. I hope we have a tasty dinner, a fun evening, and maybe some chocolate for dessert Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Guess a Valentine's date would potentially be a bad idea, how about a date during the weekend or the day after? Also should I give her a simple gift on valentine's day? For every single question you ask here, there's going to be someone who gives advice #1, and another person who gives advice #2, which is totally the opposite. You've been around here long enough so that you should know that. So, what is the lesson you've learned from this? You can't f@cking win. There is no right answer with women. Just roll the dice and go with it. Link to post Share on other sites
PrinceAli94 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Maybe you should give her a card on Valentine's Day and a carnation. Ask her to be your Valentine, yeah a little corny but it seems like you want to tale advantage of the holiday. As long as you don't play it up as some big romantic thing she might think It's a cute/kind thing to do. After that, then ask her if she wants to do something over the weekend. That way you afford yourself and her some breathing room free of the Valentine Day itself, but you'll still go on a date in the spirit of it all that following weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) Maybe you should give her a card on Valentine's Day and a carnation. Ask her to be your Valentine, yeah a little corny but it seems like you want to tale advantage of the holiday. As long as you don't play it up as some big romantic thing she might think It's a cute/kind thing to do. After that, then ask her if she wants to do something over the weekend. That way you afford yourself and her some breathing room free of the Valentine Day itself, but you'll still go on a date in the spirit of it all that following weekend. Sounds good to me. So talk to her Monday, give her valentine's day card and probably a little chocolate on Thursday, and date on Saturday. Edited February 9, 2013 by Necris Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybugz Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 i dont believe in that day. and i think a real interested guy would not wait for someday but he will have his **** together and chase me right on time. what if other dudes ask her out while you are waiting for valentine-day to come? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybugz Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Guess a Valentine's date would potentially be a bad idea, how about a date during the weekend or the day after? Also should I give her a simple gift on valentine's day? you ask to much are you underage? maybe you should talk with your dad about this 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 you ask to much are you underage? maybe you should talk with your dad about this I'm on a dating forum, asking questions about dating, really come on now. As for waiting to ask her out, I'm not, I just met her and Valentine's Day is just around the corner, usually I never do anything special for anyone on Valentine's Day for me its just a regular day to watch other people talk about their SOs and give gifts to each other, while I do whatever, so I thought about changing things up a bit. As for this girl I have my doubts I have any competition at all. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I'm on a dating forum, asking questions about dating, really come on now. As for waiting to ask her out, I'm not, I just met her and Valentine's Day is just around the corner, usually I never do anything special for anyone on Valentine's Day for me its just a regular day to watch other people talk about their SOs and give gifts to each other, while I do whatever, so I thought about changing things up a bit. As for this girl I have my doubts I have any competition at all. You just met her so by no means should you he giving her a card and a gift for V day. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Ask if she has a date for Valentines. That will give you an "in" if she says no. You might want to make it part of your conversation that a date on Valentines Day is not like a commitment to "be" Valentines, so she gets that you're just asking her out and not assuming to know her already. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 i dont believe in that day. and i think a real interested guy would not wait for someday but he will have his **** together and chase me right on time. what if other dudes ask her out while you are waiting for valentine-day to come? you ask to much are you underage? maybe you should talk with your dad about this This poster right here pretty much sums up everything that is wrong with 'dating'. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Combination of others' suggestions... I think it's okay to have the date on Valentines if neither of you have commitments for that day. It should be clear that there is to be no pressure to celebrate it in the traditional flower/candy/gift way. BUT, if you choose to bring an innocuous single rose, that's okay, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
MsSmurf Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Hmm...many cons to a VD first date. The bar can be a bit higher. My suggestion would be to ask for a Friday or Saturday night date. I honestly wouldn't do Thursday night. Traditionally Valentine's Day and birthday dates are more special. I would just plan a regular first date. Give her either a small box of chocolates or a card given the timing. I have the impression you're around 20 and in college, so a small box of Godiva's will be good enough. Chocolates are probably a better idea than the card. With a card, you have to strike just the right tone. Sufficient enthusiasm so that she doesn't feel slighted, but not so much that you scare her. Very thin line indeed! Assuming you are meeting her at the restaurant, not her house, I wouldn't do flowers. I find those awkward to deal with on a date. The trouble with salsa lessons is you'll spend very little time with her. Most instructors have you rotate partners throughout the lesson. I have yet to encounter a class where that wasn't the case. I have done a comedy club as a first date. The problem is, like going to the movies, you don't talk to your date. It's about the performance not you. I would pick something where you have an opportunity to talk and connect. Dinner, a hike somewhere scenic, etc. I don't know your specific interests, but if you can pick something related to an interest of hers, you typically get brownie points. Hope that helps:) This was precisely why I suggested it and really it could be any style of dancing. Mixing it up on the dance floor with other people takes the pressure off significantly and its fun. In every dance class there are always strange people that give you something to chuckle about over dinner later. The instructors are full of amusing quirks too. Plus while dancing together you have opportunities to flirt, but flirting when you've switched partners is a fun challenge which can create great chemistry on a first date. For a first date on Valentine's Day I thought it might be helpful to build in opportunities to not have to talk (there will certainly be plenty of talk time at dinner), but still be doing something fun (and this was my thought process with a comedy club as well). This avoids many of the awkward pauses and doesn't allow the mind time to over think about the significance of the day and what the date all means and lord knows what else that could lead to shooting oneself in the foot. Also since the day is a Thursday this probably wouldn't be one of those dates that lasts into the wee hours so the idea is build enough attraction and interest to guarantee a second date. Link to post Share on other sites
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