Jump to content

I cheated on my boyfriend when we first started dating?

daniekv

By daniekv,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

 Share Followers 0

Recommended Posts

daniekv

daniekv

Posted
Posted

last night me and my boyfriend, or newly ex broke up. first i want to get this straight.. before i met my boyfriend, me and my previous ex broke up a month before, when i met my boyfriend i wasnt over my ex at the time.. when my boyfriend and i started dating i still had feelings for my ex and we hooked up after i left a party my bf and i were at. i was drunk yes. but i still had feelings for him and i was in a horrible rut between the two, i was unsure still aboout my new relationship. i felt such regret afterwards. not only did it happen once but again on election night when obama won.. i still felt regret but i wanted my ex still, i still cared for him, but i never initiated on it first, he did and i fell for it again.. that was the last time, i regretted it so much, and those two were in a 1-2 month time when me and my newly ex started dating. i never knew our relationship would have flourished the way it did, everything was perfect. he is perfect. until last night when i dropped my boyfriend and his friend at the bar (since i wanted him to go have fun and i was gonna stay in), 20 min later he texts me saying hey babe can you come get me and i said yeah baby ill be there in a couple min. when i got there he told me how he talked to nick (my ex) and his friend (cody) showed him the texts nick sent him, about how me and him hooked up and how he felt horrible and wanted to tell my boyfriend. when we got back to the apartment he got ahold of my ex, i told him the truth about how a week or so ago i went to his house to talk, we did nothing, then i left. and my ex told my bf everything about what happened, so we broke up. i aplogized multiple times and explained to him why and what happened and how i will never allow this happen again and that i love him and that i want to fix what happened and he said he doesnt know what the future holds, but we cant be together now. and i told him ill here for him when hes ready to talk to me and that i love him and to have all the time he needs.. what am i suppose to do? i know i have to give him time, but im so hurt by what i did to him and to myself.. i guess im just looking for a supportive talk. everybody makes mistakes, and that was mine:(.. thanks for your inputs

Link to post
Share on other sites
Bryanp

Bryanp

Posted
Posted

How would you have reacted if the roles were reversed? You put your boyfriend at risk for STD's. You did it not only once but twice so saying you deeply regretted it after the first time sounds quite hollow since you continued to do it again a second time.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
daniekv

daniekv

Posted
  • Author
Posted

for one im STD free, that has nothing to do with what im asking, to be honest in our relationship i would need some time, but i would want to work it out. everybody makes mistakes.

Link to post
Share on other sites
samsungxoxo

samsungxoxo

Posted
Posted
everybody makes mistakes.
One mistake I can understand but you went for a second time. It seems like you might want to seek a counselor to resort your commitment issues.

 

All you can do is give your ex bf time and during the time being, seek help for yourself and don't date any man. Maybe he'll come around or maybe not but don't do it for him. Do it for yourself.

Link to post
Share on other sites
KatZee

KatZee

Posted
Posted

Honestly, my ex did to me exactly what you did to your bf/now ex.

 

When my ex was pursuing me, apparently he wasn't over his ex. 4 months into our relationship he cheated on me with her and I didn't find out about it until we were together for 2 years. I found out that he had been speaking to her behind my back, lying about so much stuff.

 

When I found out, the entire relationship became a lie. I never saw my ex the same way again and the love I had for him vaporized virtually immediately. I hated him after that and the relationship was never the same again. There was no trust at all, I resented him for playing with me like that, and we ultimately wound up breaking up because of that.

 

You made a CHOICE. You did not make a mistake. There were so many choices you could of made, instead you chose to cheat. Whether you made the first move or not is completely irrelevant, so don't try to pass the blame onto your ex. You were both fully in control of what was going on.

 

I'm sure you're really regretful now. And it's lesson learned. If you're not over an ex, stay single. Don't play with someone's emotions when you know you're not into it 100%.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
seibert253

seibert253

Posted
Posted

It's never the crime that dooms you, it's always the cover up.

Remember that for your next relationship.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Joaquin

Joaquin

Posted
Posted (edited)
Honestly, my ex did to me exactly what you did to your bf/now ex.

 

When my ex was pursuing me, apparently he wasn't over his ex. 4 months into our relationship he cheated on me with her and I didn't find out about it until we were together for 2 years. I found out that he had been speaking to her behind my back, lying about so much stuff.

 

When I found out, the entire relationship became a lie. I never saw my ex the same way again and the love I had for him vaporized virtually immediately. I hated him after that and the relationship was never the same again. There was no trust at all, I resented him for playing with me like that, and we ultimately wound up breaking up because of that.

 

You made a CHOICE. You did not make a mistake. There were so many choices you could of made, instead you chose to cheat. Whether you made the first move or not is completely irrelevant, so don't try to pass the blame onto your ex. You were both fully in control of what was going on.

 

I'm sure you're really regretful now. And it's lesson learned. If you're not over an ex, stay single. Don't play with someone's emotions when you know you're not into it 100%.

 

Katzee, in between were there any indications, or were u blindsided by it.

 

It seems soooo many people get f-ed over by their bf/gf dragging ex's along when in new relationships. Even if nothing sinister ends up happening it seems the poison it brings really eats away at a new relationship.

 

Not saying it is the case with yr ****ty situation, but its no wonder people refuse to stay with someone who still keeps an ex involved their life, yet plenty do! Others say yr insecure if u can't handle a bf/gf being friends with an ex.

Edited by Joaquin
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
GSB81

GSB81

Posted
Posted
Katzee, in between were there any indications, or were u blindsided by it.

 

It seems soooo many people get f-ed over by their bf/gf dragging ex's along when in new relationships. Even if nothing sinister ends up happening it seems the poison it brings really eats away at a new relationship.

 

Not saying it is the case with yr ****ty situation, but its no wonder people refuse to stay with someone who still keeps an ex involved their life, yet plenty do! Others say yr insecure if u can't handle a bf/gf being friends with an ex.

 

 

Yep. I used to try to be cool about it, but I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut. And you know what, you shouldn't have to pretend it's ok. From now on, if I'm "talking" to a girl and it comes up that she's still buddies with an ex or just some guy she used to bang, I'm done and I'll let her know why. It saves a lot of trouble in the long run.

Link to post
Share on other sites
 Share
Followers 0
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...