Great book about women who love too much.....

[mammasita]

This book hits SO close to home in quite a few ways.

 

It's been a life saver for me the past week and some odd days.

 

Just wanted to share.

 

Women Who Love Too Much: Robin Norwood: Amazon.com: Kindle Store

 

Is having 'somebody to love' the most important thing in your life? Do you constantly believe that with 'the right man' you would no longer feel depressed or lonely? Are you bored with 'nice guys' who are open, honest and dependable? If being in love means being in pain, this book was written for you. Therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behavior, which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood. Many women find themselves repeatedly drawn into unhappy and destructive relationships with men. They then struggle to make these doomed relationships work. This bestselling book takes a hard look at how powerfully addictive these unhealthy relationships are - but also gives a very specific program for recovery from the disease of loving too much.

[tory1012]

How would I diagnose myself with having this problem? I have only been in one relationship. ( I'm 22, first bf was 18-22 ). It was a volatile and turbulent relationship.

 

I did love him immensely and then was devastated when he ended it. I agree with why he doesn't want to be together, but i still love him and was hurt.

 

I find myself attracted to guys who are "hard to get" and usually require effort on my side.

 

So is this enough to say i have the same issues mentioned above?

[mammasita]

Not sure that you could or should diagnose yourself but i truly believe this book is worth a read. If anything, you might find that you can relate to some of the stories and behaviors.

[Radu]

It's our nature to be attracted to ppl hard to get, be you man or woman.

Hard to get means expensive, cher, valuable ... you get the ideea.

 

That's why ppl sometimes play this game of hard to get or of push-pull.

You just need to figure out that they are doing this [sometimes unconsciously] to create attraction in you ... with time this information settles into your mind, gets accepted as fact and becomes part of who/what you are ... you have thus internalized it.

Spotting the process at work is the first major step towards fighting it.

[pureinheart]

It's our nature to be attracted to ppl hard to get, be you man or woman.

Hard to get means expensive, cher, valuable ... you get the ideea.

 

That's why ppl sometimes play this game of hard to get or of push-pull.

You just need to figure out that they are doing this [sometimes unconsciously] to create attraction in you ... with time this information settles into your mind, gets accepted as fact and becomes part of who/what you are ... you have thus internalized it.

Spotting the process at work is the first major step towards fighting it.

 

Thinking in some cases, there is the push and pull in the beginning of a relationship..you know, kind of the cat and mouse game on both ends, BUT, if it becomes the norm (for either or both) then it's a problem and should be addressed based on the progress of the relationship.

 

I let this happen in one relationship and it turned out to be some serious commitment issues with the guy I was with. It was quite damaging and like you said Radu, I took it as a defect in me, and in a sense it was because I allowed it to happen due to lack of knowledge.

 

OP- I read this book and it is excellent. Would also like to suggest, "Men Who Can't Love", it outlines the commitment phobe and the women they attract. This isn't a cut down on men by any means as there are many women that lack commitment also...so men might read this to spot the woman commitment phobe.