If its meant to be they will come back to you.

[djones]

Woohoo!!! Guys,

 

we broke 200 mark!!!.....wow I saw all the posts I may need to break my replies....well here goes....

 

MJ108-- yeah thats what she told me that she broke up with me b/c of the time scheule thing....after 3 months she started to see someone...she told me that this is about month ago....well she did tell me around the same time that its was not time secheule it was about me, my life is not in order and it was i guess in her way for me to wake up and stop feeling sorry about myself and get my ass in gear...so since then I have beein getting my life in order, she knows that now and she did say one time that she is so proud of me...why is she with this other guy then ...Fu@k I dont know....maybe she wants me to get myself on my feet...so we will see....things are going good but not fast enough for me i guess or for her...so she is "seeing this guy"....I dont know what will happen I am just going to move forward and see...I dont know how she feels for me....now....she is 26 I understand her life is pretty stable mine is not yet.....I am in fact a MD, but Its real hard to get a residency spot b/c I am a foreign trained doc...long fu@king story I dont want to get into it now...

 

Dugs---thanks for the words of enouragement...

 

WantanS4---I know those nights just keep going buddy, you are doing good...just calls us if you need us.....

 

Kodiak---Go on that fishing trip, it will be good for you to clear your mind....I like fishing its a good time to just sit there and think.....I think she will call or text you soon too

[WantanS4]

Being that I had a rough night.....

 

It still hurts... 6 years... 4months since the breakup..... 4 weeks of NC.......... and nothing from her part........

 

She lied..... her love for me wasn't as genuine as mine........ it was all a lie. And I can't do anything about it except move on.... to where? Good question. I'm a complacent person... I don't need to jump off a cliff to feel 'satisfied'........ i've been through too much to yurn for 'excitment' in my life. I want peace..... I want it soo bad.

 

She lied...........

[mj108]

WantanS4---You & I went through the same thing lastnight. I went to bed thinking about him...dreamed about him...woke up...dreamed about him...& got up this morning sad as heck thinking about him. It was a Full Moon lastnight & when I looked at the moon & stars...well, you know...I think of him. Just hang in there!

 

Dugs---I think you should call her. I am a stubborn & prideful woman too & I think she's waiting for you to call her. Call!! If you don't call her she'll think you're no longer interested in her.

 

I think she pulled a way from you because she's scared. Has she ever been deeply hurt before from past relationships? I don't think she's playing games with you---I think she's scared of getting hurt so she pulled a way from you. She's trying to run! I really think you should call her back. If you get her voicemail just leave ONE message & then the ball is in her court to call you back.

 

drjones---I wish you luck. I know your emotions are haywire (like the rest of us) right now---but hang in there. Start planning stuff with your friends & family. Focus on YOU---the heck with her. When you start focusing on you---she will be back...but if she does come back to you & if you do want to be with her---still keep that guard up to where you won't get hurt again. She sounds to me like she doesn't know what the heck she wants & she wants you to be on the sidelines. Just being honest. I wish you the best & keep your chin up!

 

As for me--I haven't spoke to him in a week. I'm doing the NC thing & trying my best to be strong. The last time him and I spoke he told me he was going back to his ex. I told him have a good one! He told me that he wanted to remain friends & stay in contact. I told him that wouldn't be a good idea. I told him to focus on him & his relationship with her & not focus on what could had been between us. I was so angry! Him & I didn't get to finish all of our conversation but I have been getting a lot of private numbers on my work phone & cellphone. I don't know if it's him or not but I won't answer it & noone leaves a message. Anyway, had dreams all night about him & woke up sad. My emotions are shot...first I'm sad---then angry----then sad----then angry!

 

Thank God we all have eachother to lean on!!!

[mj108]

WantanS4---tell me your story........maybe I can help or atleast try to.

[WantanS4]

Mj108,

 

check your Private Messages.....

[djones]

WantanS4,

 

You sound like how I feel, hang in there...today you sound real low, just keep on venting I saw your other post "as time rolls by" try not too beat your self up....I know this is hard....I do it all the time to myself...we will get through this crap and will find happiness......we are all fu@king about due for something good to happen to us......take care

[WantanS4]

You think???

 

I want something to blow up... in particular her house

 

With her mom... who brainwashed her... and if it wouldn't be too much to ask... shove all her friends in there too.

 

I got f.ucked on technicalities. I got my ass handed to me because life had me by the balls and I let her know i was going through hell..... and then... the selfish b.itch has the nerve to go off and make her own life after making my a flaming pile of sh.it.

 

I want the spray paint on her forehead... "WHO THE F.UCK ARE YOU!!??! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY LOVE?!??!"

 

but... i can't... i wont'... and it will never happen.... because SH.IT ONLY HAPPENS TO GOOD PEOPLE!

 

yes..... I MADE MISTAKES... but FOR F.UCKS SAKE.... LET IT GO!

 

 

ARGHG!!!!!

 

okay.. okay... i'm okay.... my head hurts..... i need a dirink

[KANSAN]

WantanS4

 

You sound like me in my old relationship. She is doing you a favor by letting you see the real her now, better now than later.

I got back with my ex after 5 years apart I did'nt want a divorce in the first place but we got married again and the same stuff happened again I.E. family interference but this time only after a kid was involved.

We are now divorced again 4 mo and its harder this time cause of the kid, I wish I would have never hooked up with her again.

My point is all of you guys seem to be caring, considerate, and generally good nice people and in my experience people like you guys myself included seem to always get the short end of the stick.

Be careful guys these exes of ours could do even more damage if we let them.

[WantanS4]

yeah.. seriously... i look like fuc.king sh.it... i broke out and look like the f.uck truck ran over me... why??? because I sit there and stress over what happened... and about who i was etc.

 

NO.... I drove home today and realized that this stupid f.ucking idiot of an immature materialistic fake supposed 'woman' has made me go to hell and back only to say "sorry... your too late".....

 

NO!

I'm tired of it... i'm soo sick of it... BURN IN HELL B.TICH... BURN IN HELL... I hope she goes through what i have... and i hope for her sake she doens't come looking for sympathy/compassion/love afterward... because she's likely to get my foot in her fake face.

 

BURN IN HELL!

 

I'm out of the bet! I forward my chances.... I want happiness and peace and I want a woman who can actually take a constructive opinion without saying "why do you hurt my feelings"..... GROW THE F.UCK UP BITCH!

[kodiak]

mj108-

 

I dont know how to thank you enough for what you wrote in your post last night. Yes it a sense it gave me some hope but I truly love this girl enough to keep some hope alive. Maybe there is still somethuing there with us. I mean when we talk it is so awesome. It is never weird or negative. I never bring up us or our relationship. Last time we spoke she kinda mentioned somethings about what we did when we were together but nothing about the relationship. I dont tell her i love her or she is my soulmate either. Although I want to I now its not right either. Anyways im going to explain to you what happened and answer your question.

 

Yes I did call her alot and yes sometimes I would call her and it would bug her because I was like calling to check up on her, or atleast thats how she felt. We took a break from talking on teh phone like once and it lasted like a day before she missed me. That was probably the biggest problem was my phone calls. I called her alot. I let my relationship with her totally consume me. I stopped doing all the things I used to like fish, surf,etc... I just waited around to call or her or for her to call me. Basically i became intent on her making me happy. Well ofcourse this is doomed for any relationship nomatter how great of a couple you are. And yes we were great. We were so very close to each other and loved each other very deeply. When we were together (LDR remember) it was amazing. However as soon as I would come home, my insecurities wuld kick in. I feel so horrible for the times I doubted her love for me. I knew she loved me and she showed it to me but sometimes it just would not sink in. I had a ex in the past that lied to me and cheated on me when I treated her like a princess. I was great to her and I got screwed in the end. My past started to mess with my head in this relationship as well. Anyways the last time I went to see her it was probably one of the best trips ever and she seemed so inlove with me. It was great mj108, it was great. Then I came home and I started calling her alot and smothering her. That was it I smothered her. I feel sso bad for my actions and their is nothing I can do now except hope that one day she relaizes that I loved her with all my heart and she wants to be together again. When we broke up I will never forget her telling me this si so hard because i still love you so much but what we are doing right now isnt working. She didnt want to be in a relationship because the one she was in wasnt making her happy. I think she still cares for me and Im sure from time to time misses me but I dont know if she still loves me.

 

As far as the card goes it kinda hurts that she did not say anything to me or atleast send me a text saying thank you. I gurantee that I am the only ex that ever did nice things eveb after they broke up with her. She always told me that she got scared because she has never been so close to anyone in her life. SO im going to do what you say and hold back on texting her or calling her. I kknwo she needs to do what she needs to do right now. Liek you said im sure shes living her life, I neeed to do the same. I still gets so anxious and miss her so much. It kills me sometimes. I know our love was there, maybe shes just hiding from it right now. I mean we are both still young and we have alot ahead of us. So hopefully things will work out done the road for us. Right now I hurt because I feel like a idiot for sending her that good luck card for her surgery. I hope she didnt laugh at it, you know? My intentions were only good. So after reading all this crap maybe you can give me some more input about things or some action to take if theres any. I appreciate yoru response once again. Take Care..............Kodaik

[dugs]

mj108-

 

Thanks for the advice...yes she has been hurt before in a long term relationship so maybe your right.

 

I don't know what I am going to do, I got a call from a private number today while in class, maybe it was her. I think I will wait till the weekend to call her...I'll keep you guys posted.

 

Got to go to work now so hope everyone has a good night

[djones]

Guys,

 

Hows it going?....Fu@k I dont know what it is but its going around again kodiak got it the other day WantanS4 got it yesterday and now I have it....I am getting panic attacks and I feel like sh@t and alone and i want to call her right now....my stomach is hurting and I am getting dry heaves....I dont know what the helll to do....why is this happening to us!!

[WantanS4]

drjones,

 

I like to term it.... 'de-domestication'

[djones]

Whatever you call it....I am feeling so empty right now and lost, sad.....I cant take this crap anymore!

[kodiak]

drjones-

 

Try your best to hang in there my brother. I know that you get sick of hearing all this but its all we can really say. I get those anxiety attacks too and I remmeber at the very beggining of the break up I got the dry heaves too. I dont know why that happens but I wish I could tell you a way to take care of them. I think what you should do is plan a trip. If you can take a couple days grab your closest buddy that you can talk too and go somewhere. Just try to get your mind of it. I hope you listened to that song or Im going to beat your ass...lol. Im kidding my brother. Seriously if you havnt already please do so and listen to the words over and over agin. TRUST ME ON THIS. As for me im doing ok but im kinda hurt that she never said anything about the card I sent her. Im beggining to think that maybe I screwed with her head that I said that I missed her. Maybe thats why she hasnt called, i dont know. What do you think? Sure I know that she is busy but I would be happy with just a text message sayiong thank you. That just hurts me. Oh well I guess I just have to go with the punches. I am going to go on that fishing trip and I think it will be good for me. Sure I know that I will think about her but atleast im not sitting around the house doing it, you know? Anyways dude hang in there, we all will get through this...........................Kodiak

[djones]

Hey Kodiak,

 

I have tried to find that song, I have not much luck...I will try the kazza stuff...I am not to computer savy...I will get my little bro to find it.....I am dont know why she did not reply to you...do send anything more to her...wait and see if she replies yeah she may be busy, but how long does it take to say thanks....Yeah a trip would be good for me as well....you know its like we are lost and we cant find you way out and there the person that is supposed to be there to help you is not there....its a very lonely feeling...I am so tempted to call her or e-mail her right now...what helps is me writing to you guys...it is giving me a little comfort which I need....hey maybe you can post the lyrics to the song for me here so that I can read it.....I hope we all find someone soon....hehe man I think we need a psychic for all of us...anyone can read our fortune

[mj108]

Well---I do have some good news. I didn't dream of him last night. Actually---I dreamed of some other guy. I remember what this guy looks like in my dream but never before seen him in my life. lol But atleast it wasn't the guy that broke my heart, you know?

 

Kodiak----I figured you had someone cheat on you before. I think in your relationship with your ex---you were scared of losing her as well & that's why you let the relationship consume you. That's understandable. I've been there. It took me awhile to work on my insecurities, trust-issues (which I'm still working on since another guy broke my trust), & my self-confidence. Sometimes I still have spells...but remember you can get through this & you will. You need to think about yourself for a change & work on YOU before you start it over with her or someone else.

 

I think she still has feelings for you but I think she may be giving it time for you to work on yourself & she may even need time to work on herself. Now about the card---Are you sure she received it? If she got it, I don't think she laughed about it. That was really good-hearted for you to send her that card so don't beat yourself up.

 

I'm glad your going on that fishing trip! I'm taking my vacation in a few weeks & I'm getting the heck out of here. I know I'll still miss him---think about him but there's nothing I can do about it. I think we all need TIME to heal & how much I wish I could rush it.

 

I picked up a friend today & guess who calls my friend? Yep...you guessed it. See---him & I hang out with some of the same people. He was on the other line & I wanted to talk to him so bad!!! BUT I dropped my friend off & left. My friend was still on the phone with him so I know he knew I was in the car. I got out of there...but God how much I wanted to grab that phone & talk to him! To hear his voice....God...that was sooo hard to not grab the phone but I didn't. It's been 8 days of NC---& it feels like years.

[kodiak]

mj108-

 

Its almost as if you new my whole situation exactly. I would love for you to be right about my ex but only the future will tell I guess. I hope thats why she stills stays in contact with me because there might still be something there. You are right though, my insecurites got the best of me and I felt that I had to go the extra mile to make sure my ex would stay with me. With that I called her and I let her consume me. I wish I could have a chance to explain this to her but I dont want to ruin a good phone call by telling her that. I jsut feel that there is stuff that I need to tell her, you know? As for you I know that NC is so very hard. I struggle with it everyday. Somedays are easier than others but I guess thats how it goes. I appreciate your advice so very much mj108. Its nice having a girls input from time to time. If I can ever give you any advice on yoru situation, please just ask me. I will do my best to help you as well. In teh meantime Im going to work on myself and do the things I stopped doing when I was with her. Hopefullty this will help me get over her and fix my issues that I need too. If she ever does come around agin I want to be there with a clean slate. Take Care.................Kodiak

[Hurt]

i wrote her i told her I loved her and I missed her maybe 6 emails, then I sent one asking why the no response, this was 6 weeks ago, the only reply I got was IT IS OVER! ok, I sent maybe three more emails of love, I recieved a letter from her friend for me, it siad we broke up on June 15th it is over and do not harrass me again???? this I read 2 weeks ago, I have not contacted her I erased all email add, telephone evrything with her name on it! Believe it or not I feel better today, I think of her every so often, but I came to the realization that this person is cold, and treated me very bad! Do I want her back NO!! I have moved on, people, let them be, they are living, dating etc...while we sit and hurt! I am now dating again and not talking about her to anyone, I am done thinking it thru, all the what ifs all the whys, they dont matter, the answer is it is over period, done, you need to move on. Maybe one day they will call or maybe never again, until then lose all hope, do not contact them, it only sets you back, they know where you are and they know they can call, do not satisfy thier mean egos by begging, it helps them move on faster than you trust me, contact and loving them just feeds thier egos. I hope she never contacts me again! she lives 5 mins away and its hard, I see her somtimes on my way to work, now I look the other way, I dont feel sick I just know she lost a man who did all for her and treated her the best I could, and if it is not enough, what else can we do? cry to them?? NO!

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

Well its another night and Im up sitting around in my room. Cant sleep!!!!! Im leaving for that trip tomorrow night and im looking forward to it. It so hard though. I mean when i think about how fun the trip is going to be, I then think the last time i was doing this exact trip I was with my ex. I would call her and she was so happy to hear from me and see how I was doing. So I think of that and I get sad. I mean this is totally consuming me. I know I have to be stronger though. Another day went by and I got no response about the card i sent to her. I mean i guess she doenst have to say anything at all since we are not a couple anymore. Maybe she never really loved me im beggining to think. She sure made me believe it though, she was damm good at it too if thats the case. I dont know. I think maybe since I said it a simple way that i missed her in the card, it drove her away more. Or maybe she figures that because I said that she cant talk to me as a friend anymore. I didnt say that I love you so much or anything cheesy like that. What do you guys think? I mean why would she not respond back to me. I guess im looking way to much into this but that just really hurts. Who knows? Just maybe she got it and doesnt know how to react. I need to put this all on the backburner and just let it go. Like I have said in the begginig, "if you love someone, let it go and if its meant to be it will come back to you" Its so very hard to do but its something we all have to try. Anyways hopefully i can get some sleep. I will be awy from the computer for a couple days but when I get back I hope this thread is at 400+ and there are some happy post. (Bitchin thread drjones). Hope everybody hangs in there through this tough times. Remember although right now everythiing seems so hopeless and dark around us, something good will come out of it. I PROMISE. Like I said many times before, "tomorrow the sun will rise and you never know what the tide will bring in" Maybe tomorrow will be the day we find our happiness somehow. Good Luck everybody and take care..........Kodiak

[djones]

Hey Kodiak,

 

Have fun on the trip...Its a real good idea to go.....I too could not sleep last night..i had dreams of talking to her and also reading e-mail conversations with her...it was wierd....I dont know why she is not returning a message about the card you sent her....I say dont dwel on it and just forget about it, there is nothing you can do about it...there is no sence is sending her a message to see if she got it or to say "hey"...just let her call you, I dont know what is happeing but you have done all you can in this situation and maybe it just needs time....I am doing the NC thing Its hard I want to call her so bad to see how she is doing and see if she got her house, but I am just goign to wiat to see if she calls me....I guess she is busy with that and her firends and the guy she is with...so I guess I am out of the picture now....I dont know what is the deal with your ex but we have to move forward whatever direction that may take us.....if it with someone new so be it, if its with our ex's....I guess time is the answer...it bugs the shi...t out of me that we have to wait for time to heal us or if something with happen...but what other choice we have.....I ask god what to do so many times and I dont seen to get an answer...so I guess what I must do is just wait to see if she calls me and just work on getting my life inorder.....I just wish I could get some sign in what to do you know what I mean.....oh well have fun on the trip and I will be posting on the weekend...I hope some good news happens for one of the guys/gals here on this post......

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

HOw are you all doing? I know Kodiak is going on his trip....any of you guys/gals doing anything this weekend?....I am doing ok....I still have thoughts of her, but I am still hangin in there....Mj108, Dugs how are guys doing? Well take care...

[dugs]

drjones

 

I'm doing well thank you, I hope you can say the same for yourself. I am thinking of finally calling the ex back tonight to see what she is up to. She called on Sunday but I never answered or called her back. mj108 said that she thought it might be a good idea for me to call her. I just don't know what to do. I do want to talk to her, but I was doing just fine all week without her in my life, so we'll see what happens I guess. dr J, or anyone else, if your still around tonight, what would you do?

[Hurt]

I would not call, let her work as much as you have, if she really wants you she will persue you!

[dugs]

Thanks hurt, I don't know though...she is stubborn as hell and if I don't return her phone call I know she will not call me. Last week she called me four days in a row which is the most she has ever called me since she broke up with me, maybe that means something and I should keep the ball rollin. I think I have made my point by waiting like four days to call her back.