Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Crap, guys, I did a really stupid thing last night. Ok, so my co-workers and I, we go clubbing and stuff. Not that much of girl talking going on but i still stay positive and stuff. Fast forward to 1:30am and i am drunk already, I am feeling left out and I start thinking about her, more and more and more. I start texting her out of nowhere how I things are not going well tonight and that i wish things were cool with us and etc..( you know wanting her back). Bad idea as I realized this morning, cause last night after those texts' she actually replies at 2am and says "This needs to stop Nick, i am seeing someone else", man just reading that last night while drunk, really sucked even more, so I message her 4 times all within a hour and a half saying things like "oh how you don't love me anymore, how you don't even care about me anymore, how I want my stuff back now even though I trusted you" then I said "goodbye like 2 times, hope your happy and that I guess 2 and half years was a waste with not even talking to me and that I guess you got over our love quickly over a month". Yes, stupidty no doubt and I realized that this morning and woke up and saw those texts I sent out and thinking "wtf was I thinking last night". So, I called her up and of course voice mail and just left a postive apology about, how stupid i was last night, I did it cause i felt left out, girls didn't want to talk to me, and of course I was drunk and wasn't thinking. I also said, if you are seeing someone else, I just hope your happy with that person, cause i want you to be happy and feeling ok and I hope to talk to you soon sometime. I just left it at that and I guess, if i was not the stand up classy guy i am, i wouldn't leave a voice mail and wouldn't care. So, argh...i dunno guys, i am sure my ex is going to think differently now and it just pushes her away more. Also, damn she's seeing someone already after a month breakup, this sucks even more and i am thinking "ok, its been a month and already?". Ugh... Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 and to made things worse, I remember, breaking down after reading that text from her. Why can women be so cruel and date someone after you just broke up with someone of 2 and half years, I don't get it. Its like, whats the damn theory out of that, to get over the better person who you were with. Man, maybe she is setting herself up for a rebound or maybe I should just move on and just look somewhere else, but then again, i dunno in a way the feeling started tapering off, but I still love her, I guess leaving a voice mail was the right thing to do this morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 I feel for you Nick14, I really do! I was out drinking not long after we split ( before I knew he was with someone else) and felt so alone that night - most of the people there my age were in couples! I ended up disappearing off to the loos and sending like 6 texts about how I didn't want to be there that night but with him having our usual friday night in. This was before the I knew aboutthe NC rule! He never replied - was proabably with her - then I text the bnext day just saying sorry for being drunk etc and he got back to me a few times. But its never like it used to be. I think once I knew he was seeing someone else I've stopped wanting to text so much... maybe a pride thing! We have to be strong and let them do what they have to... having tried everything else its the only way for them remember us in a cheery light and not this heartbroken soul. I think your voice message wasa good idea... leave it light and airy. I really do know what you're feeling!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Its not just women men do it too I'm afraid! And worse of all he must really like her because he's really fussy and only goes out with people he doesn't really play around so as far as he's concerned it looks like she's for keeps! And they've had months of texting each other to build the friendship to - ever feel so used! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Ya, I know Jip, its like i wish I never did those text messages last night, abeit i was drunk. I dunno, it sucks I guess, its like me too, I wish i was with my ex on a usual night in last night. I dunno, do you guys think I just pushed her away even further even with me getting drunk (I got drunk cause I was trying to have fun with my co-workers and doing what there doing, never thought I get depressed right off the bat). Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Jip---glad you can join us! While him and I were together---she was trying to get him back. You've got to understand, they both have 2 kids together. Anyway--I spent time with his kids & got close to the kids. We even would go out---almost like a family on weekends. That's what hurts the most---is I got close to his kids. I think he went back to her because of the kids. I don't know but He finally went back to her. He may had been seeing both of us at the same time---I'm starting to wonder that now. He probably played both of us but he is with her now. She dumped him & got a boyfriend. Him and I started seeing eachother. She lost her boyfriend & called him back. He didn't go back to her for awhile, but then he called & said he was going back to her....that was 2 1/2 weeks ago. I haven't called him or anything. He wanted us to be friends but I told him since he was back with 'her' He needs to focus on 'her.' & not me! I'm still heartbroken from it all. He's with a 17 year old? How old is he??? Have you ever wonder that maybe he was seeing her while he was seeing you? I think my ex was seeing both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 mj108, define 'seeing'. My pisces probably was 'seeing' someone else before she gave me the boot.... and that would explain her indifference......... because there was a time when the girl could not live a day without calling me/seeing me. Pisces have a tendency of being ultra-secretive.......... cheating B!tch! Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 I think we canonly feel what we feel and sometimes sending texts is a release even if its just to know they haven't fallen off the face of the earth! Sometimes sending texts is just a way of still being a part of their life - its hard to stop caring about what their doing and the things that were going on in their life at the time of the break-up. I don't know if you were inNC before you sent those texts but I think they have to realise sometimes that they can't have it all plain sailing... we have to deal with the pain the least they can deal with ias a few text messages. But I hate to say it your ex being blunt like that is probably a good thing inthe long run - at least she's not stringing you along even though it hurts like hell now. Last text I had had a pet name in it which gave me (false) hop as next day I find out he's seeing someone else!! Getting out there and getting drunk is never a bad thing - all part of the healing process... albeit it sometimes makes us sad. However I would suggest NC for you now given that your ex is asking you to stop - carryingon texting I don't think will help?! Mind you I could be wrong - by judgements been way off for 20 months it would seem! Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Nick14----I've done that before. I've called my ex drunk before & then felt stupid afterwards. You did right by leaving her a voicemail----but now start doing the NC thing. What's done is done---start over----NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted October 8, 2004 Author Share Posted October 8, 2004 Hey Mj108, hehe I look like I am 19 I have such a baby face...its such a pain in the @$$ for a guy b/c women dont think I am 30 and they dont approach me b/c of that!! oh well what can I do...I got enough emotional problems and life to deal with....yeah your ex tell him to ***** off you can do better...playing with 2 women at the same time is not a real man.... Jip and Nick14 welcome to the group....Nick14 what done is done, just move forward send the appology and do the NC thing....take care Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted October 8, 2004 Author Share Posted October 8, 2004 Guys, WTF does "seeing" mean and dating I have now phuking clue.....are they the same thing or what.... Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Good to be here ( well you know what I mean) - therapy over the intenet! MJ108 - He's 23... a very immature one i am starting to think. We were on holiday before we broke up and seriously we both came back so loved up - he even says that! Says he's deep - more like bottomless! I wonder if he was seeing her but I really don't think he was - such a busy boy - he didn't have time honestly and I have friends down there who would know if he were - this I have to believe because I still think he's a good guy just one who didn't know what it takes to have a relationship and the things you should and shouldn't do... mind later on tonight when I've had a few I'm sure thats not what I'll be saying. I really feel for your situation to get dragged into someones life and then have it taken from you but you could be right about him doing it for the kids - I think thats a different kindof love thats stronger than any - and maybe he never fully got over her... so having his kids and her back would probably make sense to him. But if she lost her boyfriend sounds like she is just coming back to the security... I'd like to be less cynical and think she's not ( even if that doesn't help your situation) Sorry. You really have done the very mature thing here and let him go and tellhim to concentrate on her... hurts like hell I bet to be so wise. Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 WantanS4---Yeah, your ex probably was 'seeing' a significant other! When my ex started not calling me so often...he was probably on the phone with that psycho *****in B$@ch! She can have him. They deserve eachother. We deserve better than them! drjones----Yeah---I know what you mean about looking young. Most guys that approach me are in their early 20s. I even had a teenager approach me one time. Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 I would term 'seeing' as meeting up with them - ie behind your back. I don't think there was anything physical going on while we were going out but there was definately a flirtation -mind you she has been chasing him for a year - immature silly little girl. Would laugh if she dumps him when a better offer comes along - sorry that was bitter! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Jip- ya I was in NC with her for 3 weeks, this past weekendI just sent a merry text message just hope your ok and that I know you cashed the check in and hope your just ok, but still in NC mode of course. So, i am sure she i seeing someone ( I like to call it a rebound action since, its pretty rare to find someone and hook up after a breakup). Ya, I left the voice mail and I am just NC her probably for a long time, it just sucks that she has to be blunt and be mean about it, even though she is a nice person and is not the mean type. So, its wierd I guess, I found out her too was down town and at the same bar we were at (even though we were there for 10 mins and went on the another bar)good thing we didn't bump into her, I honestly dunno what i would say or do, I probably just freeze or keep walking. But, my question is do you think what happen last night, pushed her away some more, I dunno. Its like, not only did I send that voice mail this morning because of that but also to try to mend things alittle because of last night, I don't really expect her to call back or reply at all after the voice mail, basically she has moved on and ugh..ya its hard, yikes. Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Hard question to answer Nick14 - I would say if she's asking you to stop contacting after a 3 week NC then she is probably as far away right now as she will get. Maybe in months she will be glad to hear from you on a friendly basis but I think if she is with someone right now then there is nothing to do ... I think if I did that with mine in a few weeks time - I probably wouldn't get a response and he would probably think geez she's still all needy...but then these things can't be helped while drinking. Accept that you did it, it probably did no more harm or good if she can say that and keep with the NC. Its bizarre I sent a text on sat saying something similar to yours because I'd banked a cheque he's given me and hoped he was well - he did reply in a friendy manner as he always usually does but probably he 's feeling guilty because he thinks I don't know about her! Funny he's so trying to look like the good guy in all this... have so wanted to send one saying 'didn't take long and loks like I was right to be jealous' but so far hacve taken the moral high ground - danger danger though drinking tonight! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 so I guess, maybe I should play her game and meet some chick and get into rebound mode (I hate rebounds), so i dunno, guess i am confused and really feeling like a *****truck ran over me, my feelings are like a salad, your always tossing things up tell the taste gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 haha Jip wanna be my drink date tonight. But ya I understand, I kinda felt some anger after she told me basically "blow off, I am *****ing another some guy now" (not in the exact words but felt like it), I felt like saying alot of means things, but luckly it was only on a mild level, I dunno, geez 2.5 years and its gone in a instant, I hate it, I just hate how life works and how I am a great guy but the chips keep falling. Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Well put - one day I'm like best of out of it - next I'm remembering the good times - next I'm thinking of how awful he made me feel when he basically went silent on me 3 weeks before we split then kinda made me end it - then I'm thinking of him and her - but every so often I get a flashof another life thats out there for me and that helps... I love this guy but how could we ever have something again after he's done all this?! I'm dizzy from thinking so much! Rebounds are never a good idea but I fully intend to 'pull' someone on a night out soon that I know will get back to him and alhough silly little plot ( and doesn't do anything in the long run it will show he hasn't crushed me completely even if he has... a bit like 2 fingers to you mate) I'd like to think somewhere in his head it will maybe make him feel a little bit hurt and then at least he'll feel a bit of where I am but I'm certainly not going to jump into a full blown relationship - I know that so wouldn't be fair on someone else - plus my heart just wouldn't be in it not yet! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Ya, I agree, I don't want to get into a serious thing either, it wouldn't be fair. I sometimes feel like, things are just not going right and etc..I dunno, I do feel sorry for whoever she is seeing, knowing that he probably does not know about what happen to her a month ago and not seeing a possible rebound happen, I dunno, she's a great person with little experience and now with her ever-changing lifestyle, she's partying more and hanging out with her friends who love bouncing from guy to guy, crappy deal I guess, guess she wants to experince the hard way, because she's never been thru that before. Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Ah drinking partners ... you know its so weird but I am feelign an old part o teh wild me coming back that I was before I met him and 'settled down'... have visions of me legless in a corner tonight crying my eyes out or dancing like its going out of fashion on the dancefloor - I know which I'd prefer! Yeahit cuts like a knife when you find out but at least she tiold you - I've found out from a mutual friensd - even she was shocked and angry - so soon after us and him being so happy - just makes him look all the more guilty. I keep thinking of a male friend of mine who went through something excruitiating like this a couple of years ago and you should see how happy and so much better off he is now!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Apologies for the spelling in that last one! My male friend's girl left him in a similar predicament as she wanted to be footloose and try new things after 3 yrs. She's a friend of mine too and boy is she sorry now but please don't take that as false hope! Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Gotta fly leaving work now... you take care and have a good weeknd - I'm gonna try my damndest!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Ya, I am not going to give it hope, I know someday down the line she will feel stupid about the whole deal. Obviously, if she see's me around and what not and i am happy, obviously the tables turn. I dunno, guess its a wait and see deal and try to enjoy the show out there at least, have a great weekend jip and for all you others, I'll try to post daily. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Hey guys, well as hard as it is for me, I finally deleted her number off my cell, also deleted her off AIM and MSN (not block). So, guess time to move on and I figure I'll have it better then her in the long run, since she is already dating a guy, all within a month of a break up, yep can we say potential rebound, so its not going to be my problem, the hell with her. So, basically time to deal with it and just move on along, sit back and watch the show and see who can pop into my life next. Still hurts but, I'll try moving along. Link to post Share on other sites
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