mj108 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 WantanS4---Glad to hear from ya! We were all missing you. Anyway----my ex moved in with his psycho girl. I found out yesterday. I guess, he was seeing both of us at the same time mother *****er! I feel the same way. My ex has totally screwed with my head. I feel like every guy is going to hurt me now. I feel like every guy is out to use me just like my ex did. I'm a nice girl though---& I hate that you think nice girls are sluts. We aren't like her! I know what you are saying though---cause I keep thinking guys are all dogs but being on this forum gives me hope because every guy here seems to be a good guy. Tomorrow will be 21 days for me (NC). I'm not going to contact him because I've finally got my answer---he moved in with her so he must love her. He never cared or loved me. I was just there to get him over his ex until she came back. He used me & eventhough I'm in pain from it---I've got to move on & I'm planning on it as soon as I heal. I know him & I will never be together now. It hurts deeply but I did get my answer yesterday & in a way it's a relief. Nick14---Hang in there! I know how 2.5 years feels...& I think it's going to take some time for both of us to heal. We will survive through this! We just got too! Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 mj108, It's not so much what they are or aren't... it's all about what' true and not true. No one HAS to be honest....... so who is and isn't? Right now. it seems like everyone is too selfish to let you know where they've been/done. So, that's what I'm stuck on. Nice girls....... hard to find...... and if you do come across one..... they're already taken. I screwed up......... she screwed up even more by not letting me explain myself/fix things between us. I don't like this game...... can i get down now??? I NEED ME A WOMAN! Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Mj....alot of guys ARE dogs and they give us good guys a bad name. Dont judge everyone from a few. I have always loved and respected my GFs. I am gun shy too about going out there and getting hurt again. I put my emotions out there. I dont fall fast but I do fall, this last time unfortunately was a hard fall. I thought everything was going good the past few weeks and then all of a sudden....boom! Some guy asks her out and she says yes. So I love her to bits still but I cannot sit here and take her phone calls while she talks about them....which I know she will. So as of this Saturday....I am shutting my phone off for at least a month and this time I mean it.....NC!!! I am going to do it this time!! I know she loves me but she is also young and is confused and doesnt really know what she wants. All she knows is that she wants a BF.....how sad for this guy she is going to go out with. Wanting a BF and wanting to be with someone is NOT a reason to go out with someone. You have to be at peace with yourself. You have to want to go out with people cause you might have fun.....and enjoy yourself.....not because you feel alone. I know she is young....she's 20 and I know that I will always love her. She needs to realize whats its like to not have me around when she is having a bad day or needs a shoulder. She WILL realize it when she doesnt have me for the next month and things with this new guy arent going the way she wants and when she falls for HIM and he doesnt feel the same. I might sound alil mad right now cause I am. I give everything to her....all of my heart....with no holding back....the only way I know how. Life without me for a while will be hard for her and she will realize what a special person she has in me. She is TOTALLY taking me for granted right now.....and it all ends NOW!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 yep I agree backspn. Mine was the same way, but in this situation, since the breakup-up, she has not contacted me first, I would do the contact first and she would not reply and or respond. I get mad sometimes because of her not caring now and I get depressed because here i am, a great guy and ponder if I was even that great for her and I am also showing I still care for her and would support her, if something goes wrong in her life. Sometimes, I just don't get life in general and how crappy society is. I can't really give my heart to someone else for a long time, possibly up to a year. I can't trust anyone right now and hell I can't even trust myself to even trust anyone else. I know somewhere inside, even if she doesn't care about me right now, I know she's going to miss me alittle bit. But I guess she's going to have to realize things on her own or maybe never. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 wantan is speaking the truth. I feel somewhat like he does just not to the same drastic degree. I like being single and I have no desire to seek out a new woman who will most likely just be selfish like most of them are and screw me over when she gets to a point of not being able to handle things. humans (and yes i realize many guys are just as if not mroe selfish than these broads) just bug me because they are way too selfish. I often wonder if things were different in in the early-mid 1900s or if it was jsut basically the same. I think I don't fit in wiht today's society because i'm not a douchebag and actually care about others. Link to post Share on other sites
lordcrazyd Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 your predicatable and boring. Women want excitment. I try and balance myself between a bad boy jerk and a nice guy. Once you find that balance.. Women will adore you Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 All, Seriously, woman today.... being feminist that they are, have gotten to the point where they're more dog-ish than men. How/Why???? Well.. it's quite simple........ they have careers... they're successful... and hence independent. But... when it comes to relational matters, they don't want committment. They'd rather be 'free' to do what they want when they want. This holds true for sex too. Afterall, it's the woman that decides who she's gonna spread her legs for. So.....these days... woman have come to consult/console each other in thinking that promiscuity and 'hooking-up' is OKAY and admirable. In my book, a woman loses value each time she spreads them. Maybe that's ultra rediculous.. but the way I see it is as the equivalent of using a dirty condom someone else (maybe even my best friend) has used. I think that's pretty *****ing gross. So for all you so called 'players' out there... who think the s*** out of themselves for bedding one woman after another..... did you ever think that maybe your the one that's getting used? Did you ever stop and think that maybe what your playing are the scraps so many others have left for you? Do you ever wonder how good you are compared to everyone before you? Women tell half the truth half the time....... so no matter how much he screams and moans....... she's faking it afterall. Maybe I'm going outside the limits here, but.......... it's something to think about...... questions that are never answered...... and probably own't be.............. The only way to break even or MAYBE win is by not playing the game at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 That is so *****ing true Wanton. I am not a player and everyone says " you have no game" Pssh..I don't need to have game to get a woman. The only game I got, is being myself and if they don't like me, then so be it and there loss. The players/playas out there, they are the people who need to get a life and are true losers! Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 My ex calls me. I rarely call her....maybe thats my problem....I dont know. All I know is that she calls me and talks about her day and her problems and takes me for granted. I know she is busy and has **** to do too but if you want to be my friend you have to show me respect.....heck....its hard being my friend.....I dont doubt it. I hold myself to the same high standards with my friends too....if Im flakey then Im not much of a friend either...so I try not to be flakey. I know she still loves me and she is just confused....but for the past 3 yrs she has not known what its like to not have me around. Like I said b4.....she is about to find out. Im going to cut myself out of her life completely but I will give her some "space" to find out what life is like without your best friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Just reading that backspn, tears me up inside. I wish I was in your postion where your ex at least calls you first, mine doesn't and she doesn't even reply. So, I dunno if thats good, bad, or just sucks period. Usually I had ex's call me a few months down the line when I don't do any contact and they get all sad and wish they were still with me. This one is different, I really dunno if she will do that either. Why do people have to be so cold hearted and don't care and find someone else to replace you in a snap of a finger. Why do I have to be one crying my eyes out every damn day and night, while she is probably happy and doesn't have a care in the world. Why does my life have to suck at this moment, where you feel everything is falling apart and you feel dead, like a zombie. Why can't this stop. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 The thing is Nick, that she ISNT happy. You see...women do this thing where they tell themselves something over and over so they start believing it. She is going out with this guy to fill a void that you left in her life. The reason why its a rebound and it wont last is cause nothing can fill that void you have left in her heart. So she pretends to have a blast and go out on dates. My ex is the same way. She is all happy when she talks to me then once and a while she lets her guard down(which is when I find her the most attractive) and she will confess that she isnt having a great time. She doesnt tell me that she misses me but when she calls me everyday....she is SHOWING me that she does. The point I am at now is that she is comfortable with JUST talking to me. I want more and it seems that she is happy with just talk. So I will call her bluff, so to say, to see if she will break and try to contact me somehow and want to see me. I am betting that she does so as of Saturday the NC begins. To make it easier on our relationship I am going to turn off my phone for a month and if she asks next month....I will tell her that the bill was past due and they turned it off. This way I am not the bad guy. I get my NC and she gets to not have me for a month and worry what happened to US. She needs to worry right now.....she knows that she has me and thats not good. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Thats the thing, I wish my ex would call just like yours and then i can just do NC out of nowhere. But no I have to force myself to NC since she hasn't once not contacted me first. I dunno, what to think of it, I just dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 How long since you guys broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 WantanS4---gonna kick your A ....got everyone women bashing! But actually---I think it's 'girl' bashing because everyones exes here isn't a "woman." But I will say I'm a "woman....an independent one.....that guys have treated like CRAP. But it's my own fault & I will never let it happen again! So I do feel ya..but you make me angry because you think every woman is like that. I have wanted a commitment for a long time & I treat my guy with respect. I can get anyone, but I've had guys treat me like total crap & I'm tired of it! ***** it! I'm independent---I'm successful---I'll be retiring by the age of 40. So---I got my '*****in' s*** going on! I still got hurt---got heartbroken over the years. Every guy---broke my heart because I'm the 'good' girl!' I feel like you---I GIVE UP! He took everything---heart & soul from me...EVERYTHING. I don't want to end up like the bad 'girls' here that have broken each heart on this forum!!! I don't want you to give up hope. Eventhough I'm mad at you for getting this 'girl' bashing going on. I still say we should have an ex-bashing party with everyone, just like atlous said. Apparently---it happens to girls & guys. Just for some reason the good girls end up with the bad & vice-versa. Talking about women that are 'spreading their legs?' Well---I feel like guys out there only want one thing. They're a lot of "GOOD" women out there that aren't sluts & won't spread their legs for just anybody!!! Especially these days! Women tell half the truth? Bullcrap! There are some that are honest, loyal, devoted---just Like me!!! As far as faking it all---now they are some women out there that do. Being honest---remember---I'm the woman that tells the truth here. However, I think with a woman---it's more of the touch, caress, looking into eachothers eyes---the emotional connection that the sex part. If you have the foreplay---you got everything right. Yeah...you're way outside your limits...you've pissed me off. lol But I needed it. I need to vent. ha Everyone--- If this gets to be an only guy forum...let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 How long since you guys broke up? well backspn, its been currently a month and 2 weeks since she dumped me and I am on Day 6 of NC. Mj-Relax hun, he meant it being directly at women who are just stupid and don't realized that they left something so great and dumped a great man to be with. Why women do that, probably because they question themselves if they think this person is right, is there another guy better. Then they go off and find someone, see if they are better then the guy who was really great and then find out, that there current dumped them and then there afraid to call that guy, probably because he might be with someone else. So, its a toss up, I hate how a woman mind is. No, this is not going to be a all-guys forum, so no worries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 HEy Guys, Cant we all just get along....I think we all are getting to the point where we are angry and we really dont give a ***** anny more about the opposite sex, we all got heart broken and we now resent them....I am feeling that too...I dont want to date anyone.....I think we all like that...its b/c we gave so much and we did not get enough in return....It hurts....it hurts me everyday to be in this spot, I have this hole in my heart that gives me pain....I wish I had a heart condition, where I know I can fix it....but i cant fix it....I have these constant throughts during the day about its so self consuming, little reminders of her everywhere I go...I ask God for help and all I get is he will answer in his own time....well thats not enough when I feel like I do everyday since the break up, why do I have miss her, if she does not want me, why do I have to feel alone in this world? You know If we should be angry at someone, maybe we should direct it towards him....so may argue that its our own doing and its not his fault or its his way...well you know what I am pissed I have done everything in my life on the straight and narrow, do the right thing, tried my best and kept on trying when I did not succeed in something and did my best in relationships and you know what I got s***........yeah I am live and I am fortunate to have a roof over my head....but who gives a s*** when you feel angry and alone, and when someone breaks your heart....you can have everything in the world but when your heart crumbles you lose all hope, so why would god make that happen ask him I have been asking him and you know what I got no reply....Who should I be pissed at now?.....I can lake lossing my worldly possessions and (yes it had happen to my family one time)....and I can accpeted that it was gods will and moved on....BUT when it comes to heartbreak why is he not helping us, there are so many people here that give it all in thier relationships and now we are all bitter and will not openup agian to someone else, our guards are way up again....it took me a long time to let mine down and now i got burned and they are the higher up than before......I ask God why or just help me get through this.....well he does not answer....If I seem dark today guys its b/c I feel dark and just reading all these posts has made me even more dark....I am angry that that all of you are hurting right now its not right.....WanttanS4 I know that you are pissed at your ex, I dont blame you, Kodiak buddy I know you have been real hurting in the last couple of days....I am now in the same shoes as you , I give up....I dont think second chances happen and I dont believe in if its meant to be it will be.....I lost my faith in it.....Kodiak let me know how you are doing buddy.....Guys we still need each other....lets just try to get through this s*** and figure out what to do next.... I had a dream its 4:00 am here I woke up I was in a mall going up an esclator (sp?) and it was going the opposite way....You know that happens in real life and to get get you just double time it and you run and you get up.....Well I was doing that in the dream....but the *****er was going real fast and I could not get up, it was so fast It was just blurry....and I just got pushed back to the bottom....I woke up tried and I came here I dont know what to do anymore guys.... I had to vent, I will see you all in the morning some time.....Guys something good better happen to us soon...I am getting more and more pissed Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 ALL THE BROTHERS ARE UP AWESOME.....LOL. Im getting ready to type, everybody stay up..lol...KOdiak Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Hey Everybody- Whats going on? Sorry i missed everybody yesterday, I was out with the boys drinking and playing poker. It was fun but I still missed her. We all know how that goes. I getting ready to go on a fishing/hunting trip this thursday so im up getting ready. I have been doing ok the last couple days. I mean i still hurt and think about her but its ok. I talked to my sister and she put some sense into my issues, so mj108 being the girl in our group I want yoru opions too. My sister was telling me that I have to just let my ex be. dont call her or send the letter. Just let her figure our stuff out. She feels that my ex got scared of a committed serious realtionship. My sis is like shes only 23. She doesnt have a steady job, she doesnt like living with her parents, she has bills and bills to pay. Shes not ready in her life to pick up and move to me. Thats a big big move and I agree. Then theres me. Im 24, live on my own, have a permanent very good job, have all my cards in order. Sure you would think that I would be a catch for her but I just think that she was getting scared. I could be wrong. Maybe she did fall out of love with me and just did not want to tell me. Maybe she met a new guy. I not going to question it anymore. I will never know the answers. I think that is for the best. Im going to try to focus on just having fun and getting my emotions together. Life is too short!!! Im going to travel more, get in better shape, and just have fun. My roomate and I are trying to get yankee playoff tickets and take a two trip to NY to see them play. If anybody knows how to get tickets, let me know?????LOL.. Tomorrow im going to wake upo and tell myself not to be sad... Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 drjones- Hang in there my brother. We all need to give up but at the same time you still can hold that little torch of hope. I told you that before. You are doing good with NC and keep it up. Please dont get too down on yourself. Take this time to work on yourself, I tell you why. Think about it, what if your ex calls you tomorrow and want back. You are not in a emotional state to start things over agin, nor am I. I try to think about that when i find myself geting depressed. Drjones do you worrkout?? If not you should try to start. Its good for depression. Plus when you bump into yoru ex months down the road she will regret her decision even more. Things will look better. Sorry about the bda dream. I dream about my ex everynight. The crappy part is that I always dream about us getting back. I hate to sleep. my108- How you doing? Kepp up the NC. I know that yoru ex is with someone else but that doesnt mean anything. It could work in yoru favor. He just might realize that you are the one to be with. That happesn alot of time when you date other people. My question for you was this: as a girl would you be ready at 23 to settle down with a guy for good. Leave yoru friends and family and move to a guy. Would being in a relationship be tough especially if you didnt have your own life together at the present time?? Im just curios how you feel. I could be totally wrong but I think part of my breakup had to do with this stuff. Nick14,backspn, wantan,etc.. Anybody i missed. I will relpy to soem of yoru stuff tomorrow. Im sorry but its 3 in the am and im falling asleep. No hard feelings ok my brothers,lol... I have read everybodys post and I have some replies. As for me I need to get some sleep. Lets all make a pack to have a good day tomorrow ok?? Take Care...................Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 Hey Kodiak, Thanks for your reply....I am looking into getting back to the Gyn, I do need to go and make myself better...I will try to find a place to go soon...I am glad to hear you are having fun and enjoying yourself...I think we all need to do the same...and take our minds of the ex's, they are having fun so why we should not too....I was in a bad mood when i wrote my last post, I will try to stay positive and just keep on going.....I hope today is a good day...well guys take and talk to you all later.. Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 mj108, I love you! hahaah.. no seriously.... I realize that... but what my point was to point out the fact that a lot of women 'brainwash' other woman to believe that it's okay to be 'slutty'. Or sometimes, and it seems to be the case in mine, there are women who 'brainwash' their friends into believing that when there's minor problems in their friend's relationship, that the grass is always greener on the other side. Why do they do this? I mean, it seems like woman do their female friends in, because they're either envious or because they get lonely and want their friends to be single like them. That's my gripe........ But as far as there not being any 'good' women left in the world.... THERE ARE.. BUT THEY"RE ALL TAKEN! It's downright impossible to find a woman that hasn't been through **** in order to be or become good. I don't want that.... I'm a 'good' guy... but i didn't necessarily treat woman like crap before I was the 'good' guy. It just seems like a girl has to suffer before she opens her eyes and realizes what a real woman is. On a personal note, Although I feel like I'm over her..... I still miss her. I've come to terms with the idea she'll never come back... but I do miss her smile and her hands and her laugh. I miss caring for someone........ and I miss eating with her. Too bad she doesn't miss me. Link to post Share on other sites
beautiful Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 drjones..............I can feel your frustration and anger about past break ups you had. Yes it does hurt and I feel that you have every right to be angry and frustrated. You know, just don't let anger and frustration take over your life and remain alone or afraid to be with someone else. That would be just awful. There are wonderful people out there. You may not like what I am saying to you here however keep in mind those are my opinions and maybe, just maybe you like to give it some thoughts. We date and be with our mirror images. This has nothing to do with them but all to do with us! You have to work on yourself before you are ready to meet healthy minded people that could be in a healthy relationship with you. When we do something over and over again and get the same results it is called insanity. Truly.....................start with you. If you are constantly with people that end up breaking up with you there is a reason for it. It is not their , you chose to be with them. Why? Were there not red flags? perhaps you ignored them? Looking inside ourselves is not that easy to do. But once you actually do that and stop blaming others for your own happiness, you be amazed how life will change for you. I truly does start with you. ..........you in control of you not anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Wantan, dude, you rule and the more you post the more I think I'm reading my twin. Seriously, we have a similar view of girls/women in our current society and the exact same view when it coems ot the sex stuff. Mj, It pisses me off that you apparently get jerked around and treated poorly because you sound like a class act. Bugs me so much to see good women get fugged over. Oh and i agree that our view of women is probably more about them being girls as they aren't emotionally mature and havent reached woman status regradless of their age. Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 WantanS4--love ya too! ha I was having a bad day yesterday...think I took everything wrong. I talked to my friend & he told me that my ex hasn't been over his house in 3 weeks (that last time I talked to my ex). It seems my ex is keeping his distance from me as well. Yesterday, I was doing the 'comparing' myself to the girl he's with now. I just don't get it! This girl sits on her butt at home---goes out & parties & leaves him there with the kids---takes his paycheck & blows it. I mean, her and I are soooo opposite! I work & have my own house...etc. I have a lot to offer & yet he goes back to a girl that doesn't give a *****! I guess, everyone here is getting angry & bitter & I don't blame anyone. Enough is enough on our heart! WantanS4--I feel like you now...I know him & I will never be. I still have dreams of him & I miss him sooo much but then I'm like...Why am I missing a guy that treated me like crap? drjones---I think everyone was a tad bit bitter yesterday, huh? lol I think I've reached my giving up point. Today makes 3 weeks of NC for me. I did have another private Message on my cell yesterday & noone left a message. Wonder if it was him? Also---need to get to the gym---focus on yourself. Eventhough I'm going through my emotions---exercising has helped me. Kodiak---I'll write you back later, my drinking partner. lol I have to go get to work now. Talk to you soon. Nick14---Thanks for your input! Talk to you soon too! Hope everyone has a great day! Take care! Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 lol kodiak if you come to NY we'd def have a couple of beers. Link to post Share on other sites
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