If its meant to be they will come back to you.

[head/heels]

Hey all i have been sorta busy and we have had quite alot of posts lately= lots of catching up for me to do....

 

FIRST!!

 

NICK- you told me earlier that there was nothing on your site about your ex or your feelings towards her...well i visited and there are things on there about her and how you are feeling!!! Specifically , your song of the day for the past week or so.....i immediately knew why they were there and what they were about and you can bet your buttons that she does too!! Oh, and she does see the site or at the VERY least her best friend tells her all about it= she knows she still has you wrapped around her finger=her not coming back to you! SORRY but it is true>>she sees you as poor pitiful NICK who has a website that was made specifically for me and now he is trying to act like it isnt by putting racing and other things up....you must know that she probably replied so coldly or shortly no b/c she is a beotch but because she doesnt want to string you along anymore since she knows from your site that you are dying without her and cant function properly!! STOP THE SITE NICK IT IS JUST ONE WAY FOR YOU TO LEAVE OPEN PART OF YOUR LIFE FOR HER TO SEE AND YOU ARE USING IT FOR THAT REASON>>> How many other people in this world are reading it? i guarantee it is some of us and her and her best friend...you are really doing yourself a diservice by keeping the site-you are assuring yourself she will never come back b/c right now, if it is even hard without you, she is just a http://www. typing away from seeing what you are up to!! it may just be her lifeblood, her fix to get through a hard time....SORRY IF THIS IS REALLY RUDE BUT I SUSPECTED THAT THE SITE WOULD BE AN ODE TO HER AND YOU...but you assured me it wasnt! Well it isnt exactly that but i does your fight to get her back or get over her no good that is for sure....

 

DR J- keep going and dont buy a boxster.......it is (as Ralphie from the SOPRANOS says) a Porshe with panties!

 

WANTAN- It is very peculiar about her and your mom....i think now maybe your mom doing NC or only answering her calls is best.....what will happen if you answer her call while you are at your moms? I think she is up to something, although she may not even know it...She may just be trying to get in good with your mom so that she can check on you (in future conversations) and stay in some sort of contact... the whole "i dont want him but i dont want anyone else to have him either). Whatever the case- dont look back, you were doing something right if she started to call your mom!

 

BIGACE STEVE- WOW what a bummer! SHE IS CRAZY and stay away from her....she just wanted to see if she could still have you and once she found out she was like; "oh, well i still have the goods >>>now i guess i can have my cake and eat it too" and off she goes again!

NEXT TIME (if there is a next time) go ahead and do her and then tell her that she cant have you and you just wanted to do her one last time and tell her that was all she is good for! SEE IF SHE WANTS WHAT SHE CANT HAVE THEN!

 

MJ- keep up the NC and realize what you want in your next relationship!! otherwise you may fall trap to the same thing again! MAKE SURE YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR and dont settle ever----you are worth too much not to be picky and choosy!

 

more in next post

[Nick14]

ok you know what, I guess I had it with the negative comments about the site, when it is not about her her her. Its my life i am talking about and what I am doing. Obviously, the songs, I LOVE THOSE FREAKING SONGS!, i repeat i am not trying to give out a message. Do I like my racing, of course! Thats why I post that stuff. Oh wow, so what I met another girl at a AVP tourney, so i am going to post about that, so what. I doubt she is even reading this, obviously she has other things to do(like her new guy, midterms, work etc...) then to wonder, wth i am doing lately, obviously she doesn't give a ratsass! But by popular demand, i am going to shut this down obviously, maybe I am the stupid one, guess that answers head/heels question!

[head/heels]

NICK--- first off i am such an A hole for not saying my sincere condolensces on your grandmother's passing...from your site i see that she really meant alot to you... You have now had to deal with the death of two relationships in the past 2 months and all i can say is you are a stronger man than me...my deepest sympathy. i will be praying for you in this time of need and pain. (but i do still think that the site serves a dual purpose for you and her=bad for getting her back!)

 

RUBBLE--let her go and dont call her .....if she wants you she will ultimately comeback... IT HAS TO BE ON HER OWN OR IT WOULD NEVER WORK OUT ANYWAY... if she doesnt come back-she wasnt worthy of your love (as long as you gave her your 100% than she is the one who is making the mistake and she will realize it 1 day...just dont know when!) Just keep going forward with your personal self each day and b/c the person you strive to be.

 

ATLOUS- Dont look back! Keep on going and like MJ, make sure that you dont rush into a relationship just b/c you can or b/c you want to get back at him....the best way to get back at him is to be the bigger person and take the time to heal and then go out and kick nursing schools arse and find a man who gives love and take it slowly (make sure he has never cheated b/c once a cheater (almost always) a cheater...i feel....so i feel SUCCESS=Sweetest REVENGE!!!!!!!!1 (someone on these past 700+ emails said this but it stayed with me - citation to that unknown poster ) I casually dated a girl fro the past 2 weeks and (she is moving today) i realized she wasnt what i wanted within the first date or two but by then she and i were having fun and enjoying each others company so i didnt want to tell her that she made me miss my ex even more, so i just treated her with respect and showed her that i was a caring and confident man who liked to hang out with her...IN hindsite i wish i wouldnt have cooked for her and gave her a flower on the first date b/c i think it made her really like me and i would only have hurt her if she wasnt moving already! SO i am super happy we are gonna be friends with her living in another state...I am just saying this to anyone wanting to go out on dates again with someone...not someone to DATE EXCLUSIVELY, just date....it is not good since even if you really are attracted to them, you cant give them what they ultimately want....Not that she was in love with me or anything close to that but i am relieved that she is moving and i got let off the hook....SO in a way i learned my lesson and will not be starting any relationship with a serious date of me cooking and bringing her a flower....ill aim for a good friendship date or two first. SORRY TO SOAPBOX

 

CRAZYDAWG- DONT WISH HER ANYTHING...just move on and let her fester in knowing that you dont even care (or possibly remember it is her B_DAY)... just a memory now! ....

 

KODIAK- I still wouldnt send the letter, I did the same thing and felt the same way...but by sending the letter i made it worse and i didnt feel "over it" or better or "a sense of finality or closure" ....Sorry but i am 99% sure that you are sending it not for closure but to make her see what she has lost and want you back or at least break her own NC, whcih she seems to be doing! DONT SEND, it will only make you look like the same kind of guy she got away from....dont send anything on her B_DAY either....you two are over for now and the only way for her to come back is with time and on her own....a b-day card will only prolong her coming back to you if ever!

THIS IS MY OPINION BUT I FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT IT! just like i do about NICK14's website!

 

 

i think that might be everyone... minus LEXI, and some of the others....lot of stuff going on with us and please realize i am hurting with all of you and am in NC for 1 month now and no PHONE contact for 1.5 months......and counting...! ALL of my opinions above is my best advice i can give from what i have read and what i have experienced in the last 2 + months... SORRY IF IT HURTS OR IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR...it is just what i think is best to get the other person back (very little of my opinions are given as to what will make you feel better (except what i left for KODIAK -which is best for him mentally and for getting her back [at least in my case it was] )since most of us deep down want the other person back at this point in time-even if we dont admit it or adamently deny it!)

 

LOVE YOU ALL and am praying for all of us to stop hurting and even for our stupid exs to realize what they are doing! GOD probably just shakes his head at us wanting these confused souls back!

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

I have been kinda busy lately so i havnt had a chance to reply much. I have tried to keep up with everybodys post though. There are so many, its bitchin!!!! Anyways I dont have alot of time but I just wanted to send my condolences to Nick14. Im so sorry for your loss my brother. I know that at this time you want your ex with you so bad, i know how that it is. Sure you have your family and friends and thy cant be replaced but having someone that loves you in that way is totally different. As far as her not showing much care, that is totally bull****. It seems that once they are out of your life you dont exist. Its like nothing ever mattered. I feel the same way with my ex. As im sure you read I sent her that card wishing her good luck on her surgery. I got no reply, not even a simple text saying thanks. It hurts so bad and i just cant figure it out. I could understand if we were not cool with each other but its the exact opposite. Who knows? There is a reason why yoru ex doesnt show much affection right now during this hard time for you, there is a reason. She might wanna show more but right now she cant, I dont know. I wsih you the best during these times and all of us are here for you.

 

As for everyone else, how are things going. Drjones we are alost at 800, craxy huh? Buy a new car, get in great shape and when you bump into your ex a year from now she will be kicking herself in the ass. TRUST ME.

MJ108- Hows the drinking going,lol.. Boy i have been drinking liek a fish, lost of parties over the weekend,lol.. It seems that you are doing well, and im gald to see that. Well i hope everyone has a good Halloween and is safe. We all just have to keep fighting the good fight. Things hopefully will look better one day soon. Its been a ,omth and two weeks since i spoke with the ex last. thats the longest it has been so i figured thats probably it. I know that i was hionest with my feelings about telling her i miss her but I think it scared and pushed her away. Oh well, you cant win them all. You all know my plan. Im going to send her that B-day card next month and a small letter and that will be it. I will hopefeully get the closure I need. As for now im just keep going. Its hard and I miss her but i have to move on. I still beeive she is my soulmate but i guess i wasnt hers. Too Bad.....Take Care...Kodiak

[head/heels]

hey i apologize about the site since i see it has been up since august and before you and ALLI broke up...I still think you should not mention any innuendos or songs of the day or anything that has any meaning to her...i might even believe it is a crutch for her when she misses you (it would be for me)

 

BUT I DONT THINK I WOULD TRASH IT SINCE IT WAS BEFORE THE BREAK AND IT DOES HAVE STUFF ABOUT RACING AND YOUR LIFE

 

JUST i would be cautious b/c i know she reads it or has her gf print it off for her (that is if she knows about IP addresses) and i would be willing to be that she loves seeing that HAPPY ENDING is your song of the last day or what ever....

 

it is her cructh just to see your writing about motocross or what ever that is...believe me even if it isnt about her or you, she still HAS to see it ....unless she is 100% over you and i dont think there ha been ample time for that....HELL the short reply, in my opinion is because she saw that you wrote that you hope she replies but dont expect it and then you mentioned NC...which you cant do!...she has to think you are indifferent and not struggling or making a mental effort to not contact her! JUST DO IT AND NOT A THOUGHT ON THAT SITE EVER AGAIN WITH THE INTENTION OF IT GETTING BACK TO HER! and no close ones either sense she will take any little thing you put on there (i.e. talking to this new girl, or i met this new girl, or ran into so and so.. or that you ate at _______ the two of yous favorite restaurant) to be an inside comment pointed directly at her!

 

 

ANYONE ELSE HAVE A SAY ON NICK's SITE?

[Nick14]

its done with, shut down and over with. I am so frustrated with everything, you maybe right who knows, i dunno, I done with it. Can't undo it and thats that. Sorry.

[Urban Rubble01]

So Head/heels, let me ask. Do you think I'm just contacting her and hanging out with her to get her back ? If so, I could see why you'd advise not to talk to her. But if I'm just kind of casually talking to her as a friend, what's the problem with that ? Is it that she needs to miss me ?

 

Also, I'm not asking what I need to do to get her back like, anytime soon. I don't want her to come back now or even in a month. We need this time apart while we're young because if it does work out then I don't want to feel as if I missed anything. Plus I want her to come back because she loves me, not for anything else. So if you can help it, try not to give me advice about what I need to do to make her come back. I don't want to make her come back right now. But I do want to stay in contact and still have her in my life, just on a more limited basis.

[crazydawg]

Lesson of the day. Don't bother calling for their birthday, even if they called for yours. Inconsederate bitch!

[atlous]

Thanks HEAD/HEELS I mean you are correct I am worth so much better seriously. I am also in no rush to be in a relationship I like watching my ex go down in flames. I am no longer around I took the way out of an emotional hell hole. I will never phone him again. I have to much on my plate so to speak. If you read about everything you would know that I already have what I wanted him to realize what he did and he talked my ear off for three hours and then I drove him home and that was it! I HATE him and wish him the worst LOL. I hope you do well for yourself you seem like a very intelligent man. I enjoy your feedback. It is honest and makes us all think. I am going on 5 days no contact and he must be surprised that I have not phoned about him turning off my cell. I could throw it in the garbage tonight if I wanted to. I am starting to feel like me again and that comes when you truly give up on the other and not care and begin to focus on yourself more. I have a hockey game tommorow I work two jobs and I am in full student you know!

[atlous]

what happened Crazy.

[LexiB]

Hey everyone sorry I havent posted in a while, school's been crazy and so much crap has happened with this guy I dont even know where to start...

 

So we had our little hang out on saturday. Very simple, we went to see "The Grudge" (worse piece of crap Ive ever seen btw ) and then grabbed something small to eat. It was weird when we met up bc I hadnt seen him in so long and the last time we went to the movies together we WERE together. But anyway during the movie he was pretty affectionate--more so than he wld be towards a "friend". Seemed like he kept finding excuses to touch/be close to me i.e--one part of the move actually made him jump and he jokingly said "hold me" and put his head on my shoulder and rubbed my arm with his thumb (something he used to do all the time). when I rested my head on my hand (out of boredom--like I said the movie was crap, lol) he kept putting his head on top of mine, and just kept finding ways to touch my hair, face, etc. I liked it but I kept pushing him away--hey, if he doesnt wanna be my BF, he cant act like it, right?

 

Anyway, on the ride home, we started talking about us a little (he brought it up) and he said something along the lines of you never know what the future may hold, blah,blah,blah.

 

After I got home, I kept feeling like something was bpothering me. I realized I missed my chance to ask him in person what the real reason for us breaking up was cause over the months hes told me two--the main one being that he had to fix himself or whatever and the other that he "just didnt think it was gonna work out". So I call him and he says it was both reasons. Confused abt his answer and how he acted just a few hours ago, I ask him outright if all the feelings he had for me before were gone. First he says "I dont think its beneficial to ask that..." ( I had my answer right there ) and then, "of course feelings arent gonna be the same as they were before..."

 

Basically saying, no, he doesnt love me anymore...great. I mean I was actually good for me to hear that b/c it meant I could finally REALLy start to crush any hopes of us getting back together but still...

 

So if that wasnt crappy enough for my weekend, yesterdaykinda crushed my happiness for the rest of the week (but Im tring not to let it--kicking butt, remember )

 

I sent him a text yesterday moring for the first time in months (I actually had it shut off when we firtst broke up to eliminate temptation to talk to him, looking back on what just happend, I guess i should have stuck with that). The message was simple "hey". Imagine my shock when he text me back "I miss u" !!! We hadnt spoken since saturday night, yes, but since one of the last things he said to mw was that he didnt feel the same abt me anymore, I didnt know wheere that was comming from. I told him I had just turned my messagin back on and he said he was glad I did, etc.

 

So we had a whole conversation thruout the day just like we used to. At first it was nice but then he started texting me things that he used to before we broke up like how "thinking of you keeps me going" etc. I was getting a little mad thinkig, this doesnt make sense. How cld he just tell me he doesnt like me and then send me messages abt missing me and stuff???

 

Guess what? I was right. It didnt make sense. He didnt mean to send those messages to ME at all--at least Im 99.9%% sure of that now. You see in one of the texts, he said he just sent me an email. I was thinking to myself that the email is probably explaing his sudden loving change in attitude towards me so during a break i went to check my email. No message. I thought maybe he sent it to my old work email address by accident so I email him on his phone saying that I didnt see the message and gave him my address again. No response.

 

You should know that as happy as I was that we were communicating like we used to again, I was joking to myslef the whole time that maybe hes mistaking me for someone else. Ha. Ha. Ha.

 

Later that day I get a text from him saying "You turned your text messaging back on?" WTF??? As sson as I read that I knew he had been talking to me by mistake the whole freakin day bc that was one of the FIRST things I told him when we started talking! I figure that when he got my email, he must have realized who he had really been texting. When I asked him if heknew he had been talking to me he didnt respnd.

 

That was at 6:00 last night and he still hasnt sent me anything. Guess hes embarrassed ro trying to figure out what to say.

 

This is so horrible. I cant believe how STUPID I was to think that he wld actually be that sweet to me again. But really, when someone sends you a message, doesnt their NAME show up???? How could he not know it was me???? I dont get it thats why I cant say im 100% sure it was all a mistake.........unless this other girl has my name...OMG. I really feel sick. This is the kind of stuipid situation youd see on "friends" or something

 

Its horrible. I really wanna call him or text him to get him to tell me the truth. Why hasnt he resonded yet (he wakes up early for work so I know hes up now ) I know hes embarrassed but think of how I must feel??!! Most of all I just wanna know who the heck is this chick??? I keep scanning faces in my mind. He told me he wasnt into anyone at the moment so WT...?

 

Guess this is Gods way of making sure I dont look back.

 

Like I said in the title, I just feel so stupid...

 

PS. NICK, even w/o ur ex Im sure u have plenty of family and friends that genuinely care about you to help you get thru this...and if thats not enough you've got us

[djones]

HEy LexiB

 

I am sorry to hear that you had to go through this crap....it seems to me that this guy does not know what the hell he wants, it seems like he wants his cake and eat it too....I dont know if he has someone else but maybe he does b/c of what happened with the text thingy....I would say not to say anything more to him and just do NC for your own self peservation...this is just going to eat you up...and you are doing good right now...so just hang inthere and do NC

 

Kodiak---good to hear from you buddy, I think the card will give you closure....I am glad that you are partying ....you need it right now..

 

Bigsteve---man I read your post and I dont knwo what to think, this girl I think is severely confused, I think she has mixed feelings for you...keep us posted

 

Head/heel---hehe I dont know I jjust love the Boxster...I figure if i make it big I would work my way up the porsche ladder eventually to the Carreria GT3!!! I wll dream for now..

 

Nick14---how are you doing? You know what dont give any more thought about her, if she truly cares she will contact you agian to see hwo you are doing...

 

rest of the guys how are you all doing....p/s welcome Urban Rubble to the gang!

[bigacesteve]

LexiB what a horrid thing to have happen to you. How can he take you out and be all affectionate towards you when there is another woman involved. Talk about cake and eating it. Sounds like this guy had a tiff with this new girl, had a panic attack, felt low self confidence and didn't like it (sound familar) and then used you to try and build it back up again. You say that on the way home you were talking about 'us' and he was saying "you never know what the future may hold, blah,blah,blah".

Sounds to me like he was having problems with his new 'rebound' and didn't like how it felt so he needed you to be there just in case it did end with this girl. He was panicing. I could be totally wrong and he's just a complete tw4t and messing with your head. You deserve some kind of explanation I feel. I think N/C would just torture your mind; I think you should demand an explanation so you can get closure, you will sleep much better for it and move on quicker.

 

If he's seeing another woman whilst coming onto you then you've learnt what a shallow and pathetic person he is; if he's messing with your head and playing 'mind games' then you've discovered what an immature, shallow and pathetic person he is. I myself would rather know the truth instead of trying to figure it out, it drives your mind wild and it's self destructive and totally unfair.

 

That's what I think and I know it's harsh but he's not showing any respect for you whatsoever; treating you like a pushover.

 

Look after yourself is the key here; I myself think you deserve an explanation. You can tell if he's feeding you a pack of lies. If he has a really good excuse and I'd be amazed if he could explain this one then N/C otherwise you have your answer and bin the loser.

 

DrJones - if I had the money to buy a Porsche Boxter I wouldn't be typing this message, I'd be cruising and beating women off with a stick dude, money sucking harlets. They've just bought out the new updated models and they're mint.

 

Kodiak - I used to post Xmas and birthday cards to my ex ex ex years ago and she used to post cards to me, even after long N/C. She used to ring me straight after I'd posted them and invite me around and she'd be delighted to see me. We'd have a laugh, set up a date and the cycle would happen again, she never changed and hurt me a number of times. I think that sending letters is an attempt to get her to contact you, it's breaking N/C and it could put you back to day one of breakup if you do get contact and she is still not ready. Just trying to help from previous experience but you do what you feel is right for you.

 

I'm out with my brother tonight on the town. He always brings the best out in me.

 

Good luck all

[LexiB]

Drj, Bigacesteve, thanks for ur repies. This really is "horrid" bigace (love british words ). Whats worse is that ur right I do need closure abt this and im not getting it. He still didnt answer me from last nite and being the impatient woman I am I sent him another message about 20 mins ago saying

 

"you didnt ans me last nite so I guess I already know but could you just tell me yourself if you knew u were talking to me b4. Dnt wanna tlk just yes or no"

 

Hmm.....How long does it take to type a two or three letter word??? Obviously quite a while bc 20 mins and still no response...

 

Even if hes super busy at work he cat take a bathroom break to answer me??? Yesterday when he thought i was whoever he had ALL the time in the world to talk--he responded to every message within TWO minutes and now ....I dont know, hes having difficulty operating his phone perhaps...???? Gimme a break!!!

 

I really was expecting him to handle this better. we were working on being friends and communication was great but now to avoid me...If he does like somone else im not mad at him--it hurts--but im not mad at him 4 that. Just why wont he ans me??

 

oh well. Thats the last thing im sending him

[Weird]

Originally posted by crazydawg

Lesson of the day. Don't bother calling for their birthday, even if they called for yours. Inconsederate bitch!

 

Damn son, I said not to contact her...wtf she say/do?

[bigacesteve]

Yea 'horrid' is a good word and sums a lot up. Like my horror on Sunday when I get a text message from my ex telling me to sod off after she'd been telling me everything was fine and we were progressing. It is horrid and disrespectful how we have all been treated. If the love is gone then tell us. It seems that when they want to see if the grass is greener, we are left guessing and hurt. I had my doubts when I was seeing my ex but I didn't run off and drop everything, I took a good look around and discovered that I was wrong.

 

LexiB - He knows he's been rumbled; he knows if he tells you the truth he'll lose you for good. Self centred and selfish by the sounds of it. He's probably still thinking he can salvage this and have you both; with you waiting in the background as backup. He probably can't think of a good excuse yet or knows that he can't come up with one without hurting you.

[Weird]

Lexi,

 

babe, that guy is a cunt. I think he was texting you on purpose to try and fug with your mind.

 

Man, what an immature a**h*** he is.

 

How old are both of you?

[djones]

Bigsteve---hehe you and me both, maybe one day we will have the money to buy one...hehe i would be nice for a change to have to beat women off with a stick....but then then again....how would you know you have someone that lovesyou truly???

 

LexiB---this guy is a peice of work....as wantans4 would say *****em....he is not worth your time.....

[LexiB]

Weird-- Im 20 (probably the 'baby" on the site ). He's 21.

 

Do any of you think theres a chance I could be wrong and he knew he was talking to me AND legitimately meant what he said? I know you dont know him but can you tell from what I wrote...?

 

Im just trying to be open minded.

 

Weird you think hes just messin w my head, huh?

 

Man, I know Im only 20 but I really feel like Im too old for all this crap!!! lol

[Weird]

He is 21 going on 12. Damn, if I acted like that when I was 21 (I'm only 25) I'd have kicked my own ass.

 

He may have meant it all but it does not change the fact he is fuggin with your head and trying to ***** with your emotions since he is being silent to you now after you asked him what's up.

 

Honestly, this guy is not worth your time and it sounds like he won't be growing up for quite some time.

[LexiB]

Originally posted by Weird

He is 21 going on 12. Damn, if I acted like that when I was 21 (I'm only 25) I'd have kicked my own ass.

 

LOL my first real laugh of the day, Thanx!

 

Enough abt me though, How is everyone else doin anyway?

[head/heels]

LEXI B- WEIRD is right, he is not worth your time....really move on this time and if he changes and really wants you when this rebound comes undone, then you will control the situation and you can deal the cards to him! By then you will have experience with his quirks and will be able to tell if he is messing with you or not and then you will be strong enough (with the time and effort being put into you and what you want in a man) to tell him to bug off.... Either way, you dont need to contact him again, he will contact you whether it be 2 hours or 2 years, this guy will come back for you sometime within the next days, months, years i promise! Just be ready when he does to say you arent for me or you have some serious work to do to get me to be back with your sorry butt!

 

NICK- I am sorry to berate your site, i truly am...the last thing you need right now is someone you dont even know bothering you about your site...sorry..... i really do think it will help you in both getting over her and with her possibly coming back to you on her own... maybe start a new site where the ex and her friend have no idea of the address and email your other subscribers the new site info...that way she will never know how you are or what you are doing and she will have to get over you cold turkey! Either way she is losing a great guy who would have loved her forever and one day (maybe not soon, but when she grows as a person) she will kick herself and wonder what might have been! BUT DONT YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT, she made her decision and her bed and she has to lie in it! YOU ARE NOT HER KEEPER! go live your life like it is your last ...i am sure that is what your g-ma would have and does still want..-you to be happy! GOD LOVE YOU!

 

ATLOUS- I do know your story! read every post on here...but i just wanted to make sure you get yourself together before dating again since i tried it and it didnt work in terms of gettting me to not think of my ex....However the girl i dated (2 weeks-she moved to georgia this morning in fact) i could tell really started to have feelings for me and i feel that i may have led her on out of my own selfishness and I realized it but i knew she was moving so instead of being a jerk and saying i dont want your kisses etc...i continued to go out and hang with her and let her have a good memory of me since she is a great, hot , fun , girl who i might be wanting to talk to when i dont have my ex on my mind... oh well we did have fun together and that counts for alot!

YOU ARE RIGHT, he really doesnt deserve you!!! KEEP ON TRUCKING AND FIND SOMEONE WHO DOES! and make sure he is worthy of your love and vice versa!

 

DRJ- that porshe ladder plan doesnt sound like too bad a deal...where do i sign up...and is there anyway i can skip straight to the 911 carrera?

 

RUBBLE- I know what you mean and i understand, but i was in the same position as you and my ex did want to see a specific other person and i like you would not have believed it unless i heard it with my own ears! Which i did! So be careful, and if she wants to remain in contact with you let her call....Please see that i am not trying to tell you what to do, you do WHAT YOU WANT AND FEEL IS RIGHT! But please know i am, as well as the other on here have been reading 1000's of posts and have come to a sort of spot where we hear a story and can pretty much tell what is going on and what is likely to happen if the dumpee does a, b, or c, to the dumper.... So when you say you want to stay in touch....it isnt about you right now, it is about her and only her and in order for you to show her you are a man you have to let her have her way and show you are the bigger of you two and can respect her wishes to be apart for now...Even if she says she wants to remain in touch via phone or seeing each other occasionally, she may not totally mean it since she doesnt want to hurt your feelings and she may be afraid to let you go totally so she says these things just to keep you around...She doesnt do it out of meaness or maybe not even conciously, but she doesnt want to lose you and thsi is the best way to cover both bases: single and have you if that is what she ultimately wants! I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS ALL AND BELIEVE ME, UNLESS YOUR CASE IS 100% DIFFERENT, THEN IT IS LIKE I SAY ABOVE!

please someone on here help RUBBLE with his situation, i would like to see if anyone agrees or disagrees with me and would like to get him some more opinions so he can have some insight onto what to do (or not to, to ultimately get her back, since i am sure you are not wanting to be just her friend for the rest of your life!)

 

CRAZYDAWG!- what happened?

 

WEIRD- i pm ed you yesterday ...i think it worked but >>>???

[Weird]

never got the PM bro

[Urban Rubble01]

Yeah, the PM system on this site isn't very good it seems. Compared to other forums I use that is.

 

Head/heels, I understand that you aren't trying to tell me what to do, just giving advice. I appreciate it. Obviously I'm going to do what I feel is right, but you know, in situations like this it's hard to trust yourself on what's right and wrong. Your brain has a way of telling you to do things that seem right, but aren't. Just understand, if it seems like I'm arguing, I'm not neccessarily disagreeing, just trying to understand.

 

I know what you mean and i understand, but i was in the same position as you and my ex did want to see a specific other person and i like you would not have believed it unless i heard it with my own ears! Which i did!

 

Yeah, I've considered that and I try to keep an open mind to that possibility. I'm just about as sure as I can be that this isn't the case though. For one, before this happened we were together, or at least talking, so much that she would have had to be really sneaky to have time to start something up with someone else. Another thing, she really is a good person and I think that if she knew it was over and that she had found someone else, she wouldn't give me hope of getting back together. With all I've told her, she'd have to be actively trying to hurt me if she was going to give me false hope like that. And like I said, I just can't accept that she would do anything to hurt me that she didn't have to. Also, she knows that it would hurt me worse for her to tell me that she still loves me and have me find out that isn't the case than to just tell me it's over.

 

So when you say you want to stay in touch....it isnt about you right now, it is about her and only her and in order for you to show her you are a man you have to let her have her way and show you are the bigger of you two and can respect her wishes to be apart for now...Even if she says she wants to remain in touch via phone or seeing each other occasionally, she may not totally mean it since she doesnt want to hurt your feelings and she may be afraid to let you go totally so she says these things just to keep you around...

 

Yeah, I totally understand. That's why I ask people these things, because I want to do what's best even if it's not what makes me happy right now. But let me explain a little more. See, when we had our "big talk" after all this I made it clear that she has to be honest, no matter how harsh, if she wants to minimize my pain. If she doesn't want to talk to me right then, tell me that, don't tell me it's O.K because you think it's what I want to hear. Now, even though I told her this like twice in that firs week, I made it a point to repeat it last time we hung out. As I was leaving I told her " I had fun tonight too (she had just said that this was fun), but I hope you aren't just doing this for me. I want you to WANT to see me, if you're in any way doing this to make it easier on me (or you) don't do that. Don't worry about my feelings at the moment, do what you want for yourself". After I told her that she really made an effort to convince me that she wants to see me and it isn't about sparing my feelings. So, even though it DOES make me feel better, I'm not seeing her solely because I feel I need to, she genuinely seems to want to. Am I wrong to see her regardless ? Even if she wants to ?

 

I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS ALL AND BELIEVE ME, UNLESS YOUR CASE IS 100% DIFFERENT, THEN IT IS LIKE I SAY ABOVE!

 

Well, I'm not quite arrogant enough to think I'm TOTALLY different. But like I said, we have always been pretty different than most couples. Weve just always had great communication and we've always been able to deal with problems honestly. So that's why I'm having such a hard time accepting that she would be lying to me through all this, especially after I've told her how important it is that she be brutally honest. I don't think I'm totally different, but I do think that we have a better chance of it working out simply because nothing major went wrong (or changed) and there still seems to be some love there on her part.

 

Sorry to pick you advice apart, I'm a little neurotic. This is just really hard, I'm so confused. Everything that seems natural, people tell me is a bad idea. So I can't trust myself and I've got to consider all options. But thanks ! It helps me more than you know to at least have some dialogue going.

[Nick14]

Its ok, head/heels. The site is down and I should of never made the site in the first place. Its over and I am moving forward. Anyway, guys I'll be back Sunday and what not, be back then.