If its meant to be they will come back to you.

[Cade]

Hey guys!!

 

Been a while for me. I am sticking to no contact as well, my ex was calling daily to "chat". I finally stopped answering the phone, as this "friends" thing could go on indefinitely and she needs to taste life without me. She finally emailed me asking why I was not aswering her calls and I wrote back that if it is over, being "friends" is no longer an option as I need to move on with my life. Now the waiting begins, she has called twice since but I have not answered. If it was important enough she would have left a message. Only time will tell now.

 

Suggest that to you as well Dr. Jones, I have done the same thing you have done with letting her know how I feel again and again, but the fact is that she KNOWS how you feel so there is no point in reiterating it to her. This makes her feel on top of the world, gives her emotions what they need from you, she gets her fill of you in that way, and moves on with her new man knowing you are waiting for her. Why should she hurry back to you if she can get away with anything she wants, including dating other guys. You must stop now!!!Make her feel as if she lost you and that will quicken any decision she needs to make.

 

Put yourself in her shoes for a minute, she has the best of both worlds, a new man, and the dedicated man waiting in the wings for her. Why should she hurry back? She has you to fall back on and that is the bottom line here. She may have great feelings for you but then again she may want to see if the grass is greener in the meantime. This can be an asset for you though as she will constatly compare him to you and you seem like a stand-up guy so you willl always come out on top in that aspect. I feel the same way about myself and that is why I am sure it is her loss and she will come around eventually but ONLY after she thinks you are out of her life.

 

WantanS4-->I think you have been watching way too many of those old Batman reruns gauging from your last post!!!

[WantanS4]

Great!! Someone got it.......... wait till I do the BAT-OOSIE!!!

[djones]

Guys,

 

Thanks for the advice, I will STICK with the plan now...I am doing NC now let her call me.....Wantans4 thanks I know screwed up, I hope I did not lose her now....yeah Cade you are right....***** all you guys are right...I told you all I have a tendenacy of *****ing things up....man the story of my life....well what is done is done....i will have to avoid her now and let her chase me...I hope you all are right....Take care

[mj108]

Cade---you're right...if it's important they will leave a message. I'm going through a lot of private no.s on my phone right now & I really think it's him. I'm giving it awhile before I pick up. I figured if he wanted to talk to me bad enough he would leave a message.

 

drjones---I agree with Cade. I mean---she has you & him & she's eating it up & wanting all the cake! I'm going through the same thing. He has another girl & yet he always has to get in touch with me...cause he's scared that I will find someone else & he knows he will give me hope & then it will take MORE time for me to get over him. It's like they can't choose & they don't know what they want. The exes know we're waiting on the sidelines & they figure "Well, I can always run back to them if it doesn't work out with this person." It's time for them to fight to win us back. They can talk the talk & say whatever they want...but they need to proove it to us this next time around (if there is one.). So when she calls you back (and she will)....tell her you're through waiting & you're moving on. That will probably wake her up. I know you are aching & longing to be with her---but I think you should tell her you're through waiting & can't wait any longer & that you're moving on. Maybe then she will smell the *****in coffee!

[WantanS4]

Okay... with all due respect.. and this only for the entertainment of playing on words but....

 

How about some coffee after *****in'??

 

 

Guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cheer up....

[djones]

Wantans4,

 

hehe thanks, man, but I think I will stick with *****ing, coffee will just keep me up ...no pun intended .......Guys I got some work to do with gaining back level playing field with her......I guess in time...

[mj108]

WantanS4----ha lol You are something else! You're *****in attitude is the greatest...lol...I know everyone else agrees. When we're stressing you put a smile on our face! Keep doing it! Thanks so much for putting a smile on my face today!

 

drjones---only time will tell....you're right.

[backspn]

DrJones.....dont beat yourself up bro. Just let it ride right now.....like Wantan said...let it go to voice mail. I did that this week and she left me a message andit was funny!!! She NEVER has left a message to me b4!!! So I take this as a positive. Be yourself bro and she will come back to you...I GUARANTEE IT.

 

Peace.

[backspn]

This is my theme song.........It helps me....

 

Fall Again by Glenn Lewis

 

Feels like fire , burns in my heart

Every single moment that we spend apart

I need you around, for everyday to start

I haven't left you alone

Something about you ,staring in my eyes

Everything looking for I seem to find

All this time away is killing me inside

I need your love in my life

 

Oh I wanna spend time till it ends

I wanna fall in you again

Like we did, when we first met

I wanna fall with you again

 

Ohhhhh

 

We faught in a battle , nobody won

Now we face a mountain, to be overcome

You can't turn away, the past is said and done

I need us to carry on

 

Oh i wanna spend time till it ends

I wanna fall in you again

Like we did, when we first met

I wanna fall with you again

Yeahhh la la la la

Whoaa

 

You try everything you never thought would work before

When you live when you love when you give when you run you can always give up some more

Baby nothing means anything unless you're here to share with me

I can breathe I can live I can die I can sleep

Cause you're always there in my dreams

 

Oh I wanna spend time till it ends

I wanna fall in you again

Like we did, when we first met

I wanna fall with you again

 

I wanna fall with you again

[mj108]

Backspun...how true...how true! Great words to the perfect song.....

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

Thanks for the advice and pep talk, thanks backspn I will stay positive and just keep going.....I was thinking today that you know I told her everything more orless I wanted to say to her and now its out of my hand, its up to her, I dont have that urge in me to "what else I can do" its now in her hands, either way the out come is I now know I did everthing in my power and there is nothing left of me that I can give to her....if she does not see me as the person for her, well so be it.....I feel calm now I just hope it does not wear off....I figure I gave it all i have and I just have to wait and see....I feel better thanks guys for all your advice today I needed all your input.....hey wantans4 thanks for your jokes...it put a smile on my face too.....I hope you all are well and I hope we all get some happyness soon like dugs....***** we all need some now....it amazes me the range of emotions we all are going through with a breakup...boy I think we all are very passionate people and I hope the person made for each of us knows how lucky they are to have us...It seems like we all give over 100% in a relationship...I know over 100% does not exist, but I think when it comes to our hearts we give it all, I guess thats why we hurt so much when that person does not return that love...take care guys

[Nick14]

Hey whats up guys, I thought I go join this thread. I know how it feels, me and my ex were together for 2 and a half years and I was her first and this was my 3rd (1st longest though). She was the best thing that ever happen to me and that I knew a year into it, this was someone who i wanted for the rest of my life. Abit, I did make some mistakes while I was with her, lied here and there, made excuses and etc..Probably because i was going thru a phase for a couple of months and didn't know if she was the one i wanted to be with, but i also didn't want to tell her about it and break things up (would of been my mistake), so me being experienced, I stuck it out for 2 months while I was with her and I realized "hey this is someone who i want". I started growing up this past july (i am 23) and told myself, the excuses, not paying enough attention to her, the **** has to stop. So, I started doing things the right way, changed for her and myself and things were great, started giving her roses once in awhile, made her a surprise candle light dinner one night, took her out to a romantic resturant for our 2 and half year aniversary and left cute postive notes in her truck on some days, early in the morning. Then all of a sudden, a bomb dropped on my nutz and its one of the worse feelings to feel, she said its over and that her feelings were not there and things are different now and she felt that maybe everything would come back a couple weeks after I started doing things the right way. Everyone was confused and could not believe she did this, I bugged her like crazy for a week and half telling her this can't be happening, why throw away a relationship and etc.. she told me she wants to experience the single life. Well i was disappointed and even my mom was mad and left a voice mail on my ex's phone, telling her it was a pretty ***** deal you broke up over via email(obviously, I didn't know my mom did that untill she told me, i was mad at hell at my mom for even being involved). Sighs, so now its been a 3 weeks of NC, she finally cashed my $100 check on oct.1, even though she told me a few weeks back, she is not going to cash it (said it 3x's) and then she goes back on her word and cashes it,lol. I mean i am not mad, i am glad she did cause I made a promise to her in mid-aug that i would help her out with some financial stuff, just me being a caring b/f (i did not in know way do this to get her back).

 

So, I emailed this past sunday, telling her I am glad she did it and I hope everything is ok, with school and work and money and I hope we talk soon. i wanted to say it over the phone but I know she would not pick it up or she just does not want to talk yet. Of course no reply since that email and I dunno when to call her next, maybe on november 1st and say how your doing and do it while i am postive and happy. Its funny, everything is going great but I have this big void with her not there. So, ugh...its going to suck not having that special someone for xmas, hehe I have a nice streak going on since i was 18 with always having a g/f at xmas.

 

 

BTW..she has took me off her AIM and MSN list, so I dunno if she blocked my email addresses either hmm..if she did wouldn't my email come back saying its undelieverable? i dunno.

[mj108]

drjones---it's not 100% we give--eventhough it feels that way. We just need our exes to meet us halfway. In any relationship---loving, friendship, --you have to meet halfway. That's the way I feel about it. drjones---we have done our part, we have met them halfway but they are still at a distance.

 

I think everyone here is passionate people...like you say. You're 30? Wonder if I'm still the old lady of the group . Everyone here has helped me (no matter what age!) & I hope I have help them.

 

I'm a scorpio----& scorpios are passionate people--- If you believe in stuff like that. So what is everyones sign? I'm just trying to add something here where we don't have to think about our exes now. I'm getting like WantanS4---but that's cool...I want to put smiles on everyones face. We don't deserve to be sad all the time!!

 

Where are you at WantanS4? What sign are you buddy?

 

Nick14---2 1/2 years? Know the feeling. Then she cashed a check of yours when she said she wouldn't? That's *****ed up! I know that you don't want to spend X-mas alone but you do have family & friends that will be there for you. Don't stress! It'll all work out!

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

Sorry I could not post earlier but i was working and this was the first chance to get online. Its been a ok day but i did have those crappy relapses where I miss her so much. I just feel like such a emotinally weak person sometimes. Its been 2 1/2 weeks since we spoke last and I feel that for some reason that was the last. I always say that and the out of the blue she calls and we have one of those great hour long talks where we mke each other laugh and kinda talk about the old times. I guesss i feel just because she nver replied to the card(which is not liek her at all) that she is done talking to me. I never should have put that I missed her in it. I regret it but whats done is done. I cant change the past. However I have decided that I am going to write that letter again and send it off in a couple weeks. There is just too much i have to tell her and I need to do this so I can move on. It will be very hard to let go but I have to snip that tiny little thread that im holding onto. You know? I jsut have to do it. Sure she might get a good laugh out of it or never read it. Maybe if she has a new boyfriend they might read it together. I dont know. My goal is not to win her back but just apologize for the things I did. I never cheated on her or was mean to her. However i made her feel at time sthat i didnt trust her. This my friends i will regret for a very longtime. Girls like her dont come around all the time. I cherish every moment that I spent with her and will hold them in my heart forever. Tomorrow is another day, and I have to get through it.

 

MJ108- Im sorry you are feeling sad today. I dont know you but I hate seeing anyone go through a broken heart. I thinks its best that you dont call right now. Everything is too new and the emotions are so mixed up.

 

drjones- please dont beat yourself up anymore. Like I said in my paragraph above, "whats done is done". atleast she knows how you feel now. You dont want to be a back up for your ex. Let her come to you. I have never once called my ex since the break up. The several times that we talked she called, so im sure the same will happen. I look at it like this. If we stay in contact they will never know what they dont have and if we are not meant to be, then we will never be able to get over them.

[kodiak]

Sorry i was trying to finish my post but Im at the staion at we got a call. Anyways yes drjones dont be so hard on yourself ok?

 

Nick14- Welcome my brother!! Im sorry to hear of your break up. 2 1/2 years is a longtime. I know what you mean by feeling as if at times you questioned the person you were with. I did the same with my ex. she came on very strong and I was kinda caught offguard. However one day I realized that she was the one, or so I thought. It was a simple thing that happened and I will share it with you all. I knew that I was inlove with this girl the day she went next door to the coffee place while I was at the gas station and cam eback with the cofee exactly the way I love it. We had only gotten coffee onetime before but she listened and remembered when I ordered mine. Its little things like this that make you realize that you have fallen inlove. I know how hard it is too think about the holidays coming up. I too will be without my ex and it hurts. last xmas was our first and it was wonderfull. It hurts too think that she might be wrapped in somebody elses arms opening giftsunder the xmas tree. Well what can we do. You know? I told my mom this tonight and she said that xmas is still two three months away, alot can happen between then and now. Hopefully you will be back with yoru ex, you never know what the future holds for us. I have said this to many others on this thread but not to you. I am a firm beleiver that everything happens for a reason and if something is meant to be it will come back. So remember nomatter who you date or you your ex dates if there truly is love there, then it will come back. If it does it will be better than ever. have faith but let go and move on. Its a hard task to swallow but thats what we have to try to do. hang in there and once agin welcome.....

 

crazydawg- Going to miss you my brother. we shared alot of good post but you still need to check back in on us from time to time. hopefully as time goes by and you check this thread, you will see alot less names and some good news. Hope things work out for you. I know how it feels too let go and cry. I just did it yesterday and dont evr fell bad about it either. Your are stronger than me for letting go. I still cant and its been four months, but thats probably because my dumbass still talks to her when she calls...LOL...take care bro.

 

 

As for everubody else thats I missed, we all made it through another day. So lets give ourselfs a pat on the back ok? I will be back tomorrow. Oh wait a minute, do I actually think that i will be able to sleep. Cmon Im will be back proabably in a few hours....LOL.....Take Care........................Kodiak

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

I am up again its 3;00 am in my neck of the woods......Hey Nick14 welcome to the group!! you will great addition to our group... we had a couple of guys leave which is fanstastic and welcome new people in to help fix broken hearts....or atleast help.....

 

Hey Mj108---Thats a good Idea with the horoscope thing....I am Aries, I think I am the old "lady" of the group I am 30 right now, how 30 are you? I take it you have a birthday comming up if your are a scorp.....I kind of know the scorp women...my 1 gf in unveristy was a scorp....it would kind of funny if we could find a good site tha could give us all a "good love forcast" and see if it holds true for one of the guys here!!

 

Kodiak--thanks man you know I beat my self up to a pulp, will try not to do that....I am putting distance with her...so we will see...you all are right you cant miss whats in your face...I guess time will tell...

[kodiak]

Hey Everyone-

 

I just posted a couple hours ago. Yes I cant sleep. I have been pacing the floors at work. I tried top lay down and the started thinking about my ex. I got a semi anxiety attack, got all worked, made myslef feel sick to my stomach. I think I just decided. I think I have to be like crazydawg and let go. I just cant do this anymore. It taking a physical and mental toll on me. The lack of sleep is killing me. Sure its not going to go away. The pain of this will be here a longtime, I know it. I think I have to send that letter within the next coupe days and tell her at the end that our contact has to end. I just cant do it!!!!!!! I figured that 4 months and she hasnt come back, most likely she never will. Besides my emotions are so jacked up that if she did I would probably sabotage the relationship and screw things up once again. I just cant live like this anymore. Holding onto to the hope, looking at my phone every ten minutes hoping that she calls. Loosing sleep, not enjoying the things i used too. Hurting other girls in the meantime. I mean the list goes on and on. I figured thats its not going to happen anytime soon. If it comes back in the future and I still want her, then sure mayeb it is meant to be. Until then, everyone i am letting go. I still will be here to post because I know that I need to vent and i want to try to help others. Im so sad but I have to hold back the tears. Only if my ex knew how much i still so very much love her and how much pain I am in. If I can atleast help one person here get back with there ex then my journey here will be complete. My job will be done. Take Care everybody, yoru friend..........................Kodaik

[djones]

Kodiak,

 

I feel for you, I know what you are going through man....I think SHOULD send her the letter ASAP...tell her how you feel and everything you want to say to her....what every happens, happens....I told my ex two days ago how I feel and its out of my hand now....there is nothing more I can do and I have done my best and if thats not good enough for her then so be it....I have been feeling a lot better since I did this and I think you will too....it has helped me to move on, b/c i know now if she wants me...the ball is in her court so...I dont have to say well maybe I should call her or what else I can do....she knows how I feel and where I stand....so if you tell your ex the same...you will feel a lot better, there is no use in feeling crappy, and getting sick to your stomach....you know those, dry heave feelings.....I get them too......I figure like mj108 said that we met our ex's half way now its thier turn to meet us half way now if they want us....right now I feel what ever she says ie wants to get back or she is going to stay with the guy or what ever....I will deal with it when it happens, untill then I am just going to move on.....we cant live like this anymore....I know its killing you, man its been killing me for the past 4 months as well....and I feel better now that I told her everything and what she does with it is up to her....I done all that I can.....so if its meant to be it will be....I know you dont want to date anyone, I feel the same too still I need to heal myself....atleast you got hot women after you, I dont have that luck.....I would say to you go out on causal dates nothing serious just get to know them, even if you go out in a group setting, I think it will be good for you......I wish I can take my own advice but me being a doctor I hate being a patient....maybe one day I will get out there again...right now I need to get my carreer on track and make some money to feel good about myself and be independant and see what happens......Kodiak one thing I do ask for you is stay on here with us....we need you here, you and I pretty much started this post and we have see the end of it....I hope at the end we both and the rest of the guys here get happiness with someone....I think we all have to leave this site but we have to leave it on a happy note like Dugs......take care

[mj108]

Kodiak---Hang on buddy! I'm sorry you're so sad. If it takes sending that letter to let go of her...send it. I know it's hard. It's hard for all of us, but you don't need to shut yourself down....that's not going to do any good. Drjones is right---you & him started this post...& God---don't leave me now. You've been a big help for me & others on here as well. I think we can all heal if we're here for one another. I know how it is to have your heart with someone & then look across the table at someone else. I have so many guys calling me right now that have asked me out---but I can't go out with them because my heart & soul is with my ex. I guess, it just takes time. I know it's been 4 months for you---hopefully it won't be much longer but you know we're all here for you buddy---& we are hurting & in pain along with you.

 

Drjones----I'm 33 years old. I'm fixing to be 34. Yep--I'm the old lady. lol

 

Update: My friends went & saw my ex lastnight. I try not to ask my friends anything about him (which is hard thing to do). I don't want them to go back to him & say I asked about him, you know? Anyway---they told me about the kids & now I feel so sad because not only do I miss my ex---I miss the kids too. I'm having a sad & lonely day today. After my friends told me that, I got the heck out of there before they could tell me anymore. Kinda funny cause I looked at them & said "Got to leave!!" My heart is breaking....I feel like it's torn inside out. It's been 2 1/2 weeks since I talked to him....I know I can move on...I just got too!!!

[djones]

Hey guys,

 

Kodiak--- we started this we got to finish this on a good note....mj108 is right we need you man...

 

mj108---you are doing good, just hang in there...that heart pounding will stop...give it time....33 eh not that old...they say 30's are the best time of our lives I hope so!!! going on 31 in march

[WantanS4]

mj108,

 

What sign am I??? I am a Capricorn... very much so. In fact, she was a Piesces... so a lot of the problems we had came from my bluntness and her sensitivity.

 

 

Did I tell you what my secret was to getover my her........ it was convincing myself that she lied.... about everything... about her love for me... her dreams of me..... and I being her first. She lied... and she could careless. In fact, I told myself, she's probably *****ing some other guy right now... and saying "Oh.. your 25x better than he was....." blah blah blah, which makes me wanna thorw up because that means she used me.... and that I was just a phase. Now, I'm not saying I'm god's gift to men... but I know I'm worth a lot more than she regards me to be. So in the end... bottomline... she's lost her marbles... she's crazy... and she's a *****ing idiot for believing there's something better than me.

 

 

Convince yourselves of this... and your peace will come.

[mj108]

WantanS4---she's a pisces---yep, they are sensitive. ha Us scorpios are stubborn, blunt, & hard-headed. lol Atleast I am.

 

That's a good idea on how to get over somebody. Actually--I've been thinking of the way he treated me & you don't treat people that you love--the way he treated me. So---I think he lost a good thing...I mean---Here's a girl that is full of surprises. I even surprised him with candlelight dinners---candlelight massages. Oh well. ***** IT, like you say! I don't want to even think about the time & energy I wasted on him. I did more for him than he ever did for me...& he'll never find another that would love him/treat him right like I did. He wants to be with his ex (a girl that's *****ed up---mean as hell to him). I just don't understand but I need to stop questioning it & let him go. I'm going to start thinking your way, & see if it helps. Thanks for the input.

 

drjones----yep, 34....but people tell me I look 26 so God has blessed me with my youth. ha Yeah, 30's are suppose to be the best...& hopefully it will be great for both of us. We need time to heal & we will get through it. I can't wait until he comes back (hopefully--I'll be over him)....then I can look him straight in the eye & tell him to ***** off!

[WantanS4]

mj108,

 

Do you really want to get over him??? Really!?!?!................ He used you.... he used you as a 'temp' while he and his ex figured things out. You can't get much worse than that.

 

So much talk of *****IN'......... I could really use some right now.

 

We could all get our ***** on right about now!!!

[mj108]

WantanS4--- ha Made me smile again today! lol

 

I know he used me. Apparently, his heart was with her---& I got played. Ironic, huh? I don't want to do that to anyone...since my heart is on loser boy! That's why I'm not going out with any guys until I do get over him, you know? It sucks that his heart is with her & my heart is with him.

 

I think we all need to get laid. lol Just kidding!

[Jip]

God been listening so much to you peeps on here... and good advice all round!! Think you're right the only way to move on is to believe that its their loss even though at times you remember how sweet they could be and how happy you were with them - at the end of the day they bailed!!

 

MJ108 - was your bloke the one that got dumped by his ex?? Did she click her fingers and he went running back or vice versa... sorry if you've been through all this before.

 

I'm Aries with scorpio rising - tough old mix!! To be fair I let my green eyed monster get the best of me but now I think with good reason because two weeks after finishing with me he is now with her... as someone said - ain't that a kick inthe head! And to think he made me feel bad for getting jealous!!! Funny I'm 26 but folk say I look 21 - didn't stop him going after a 17 yr old though!