atlous Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 I think that we are all doing extremely well. We come on here to vent instead of talking to them ( our exs) this makes us look good to them. I think we should all meet one weekend for an EX bashing party! That would let it all out and we would have all new friends in the same boat! Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Nick14--I think it's going to take me a few months to get over my ex too, but we can't rush it. It seems the more I try to rush it, the more the dreams/thougts I keep having of him. 4 days of NC--keep it going...stay strong! drjones---Strange. I woke up around 2:30 a.m. too. I had a dream I was at a party with him & I couldn't find him. I was screaming & yelling for him & asking people "Where's he at?" Then I woke up. Fell back to sleep (finally) & had another dream of him. Woke up at 5 a.m. Wish they would stop! I think all of us are going through depression, but I feel the same way. I think we just need to heal from it. I use to be on meds myself & I'm trying not to go back to them. Actually, I think everyone here has helped. I guess, you all are my therapy buddies. ha You all have helped a great deal! Kodiak---That's a good idea...to reward myself. I'm going to go out Wednesday & buy myself something. Wed. will be 3 weeks of NC for me. Maybe I'll buy me a 6 pack. ha lol Him and I were together 2 1/2 years. Yes, we had problems on & off but we always could talk things through. I guess, that's why it's hard for me to let go. I've never had a bond so strong than with him. My ex went back to his ex. She had a Boyfriend when him and I were together. Then the boyfriend left & she started calling my ex. He didn't go back to her for the longest time (6 months she called). Then I got a call from him telling me he was going back to her. Atleast, he did call me & I didn't find out from someone else. That was the last conversation we had. He told me he would keep in touch with me or I could keep in touch with him...but I told him that since he was going back to her...he needed to focus on her. They do have 2 kids together.....2 kids I got close too. I miss him & I miss them. But I've accepted it may be for the best. She has treated him like crap & even has had her kids up at 2 a.m. in the car while buying her drugs. I mean, the girl is psycho...but if that's what he wants, so be it. I was good to him & his kids. I treated the kids like they were my own. I miss him & them but there is nothing I can do about it. There's always a reason for everything, right? I just hate myself for getting involved with him now. I feel like a Dumba**! Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Atlous---I'm there! Ha! EX-BASHING PARTY! Sounds good to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hmm..Day 5 and a month and 2 weeks since the breakup. I ask this question to myself everyday, "why does she already have a man already after a month breakup? Is he better then me? Does he look better then me? WTF GIVES!!" UGH...why do I have to be put in this situation, where I feel this is my soulmate and I wanted to be with her the rest of my life. 2.5 years and now it seems like wasted time, like everything we had, never really existed. Why after a breakup, she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. I don't get it, I use to be strong in our relationship and she wasn't. Now its like the tables turned and she is the strong one and I am not. I freaking hate this **** and how life plays out. Now its like I am only a memory and she doesn't even care about me at all either(Not that she has said all of that but I get the feeling of a cold shoulder). Well she come back? Obviously not right now, not with the way she is acting at the moment and not even attempting to even call me at all. Do I think she will come back, I dunno. God, I have never said the word "I dunno" alot in my life, I am that confused and I am trying to hold my hand out to her, as if I am drowning. I think, i am at a time in my life where i am deeply depressed and I really don't know what to do anymore or who to trust and etc.. Why does this have to happen to me for, why did she have to walk out of my life! Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hi folks, Cr*p isn't it.... I hate this and I know what you guys mean about the dreams - had one last night about him telling me he was leaving me for someone else ... awful! Thing is he never did tell me just said he'd lost that click! Have had 10 days NC and its very difficult today because I've heard that his new girl ( the one I was jealous about which is why we split up) was at his most of the weekend like I used to be. When we first got together we took things a bit slower than that but guess he's filling the gap I left cos he lives in the middle of nowhere! Do you ever feel so used - I feel like his learning curve - the older more experienced first girlfriend dumped for a 17yr old who apparently is completely smitten with him... as if I didn't know that given that she's spent the last year scheming to get him - are men really that stupid to not see what she's doing ( apologies to all the guys on here)!! Why can't they feel what we feel?! I really just mad he chased me, made me fall for him, then I ran after him fitting my life around him because I loved him so much and then little miss amnipulation walks on the scene! I hate the way they've made me feel!! I've been a dumper before but only after a max of 3-6 months when I knew for sure and never to someone I told I loved etc. You think you know someone eh! Oh Nick - I know where you are today - lost, angry , bitter - if we should be so lucky to find someone again how can we ever give put our hearts on the line again! Iused to walk to work smiling cos I knew I was a lucky girl and very happy with my lot now I can bearly lift it up of a morning! Why do they get to continue to be happy while we get clobbered!! My b/f said he'd keep in touch not a peep in those 10 days when I stopeed texting... nothing back from him whatsoever because he's sending her everything I used to get the late night.. 'nite toots xx' texts the phonecalls during the week when we couldn't see each other etc... can drive yourself mad thinking about the other party - warst is I've seen her - smug wee cow! Would say chin up nick but don't think I'd listen to someone saying that right now!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Some people I know say "don't worry, its a rebound she is going thru". I dunno, it makes me sick of thinking of something like that. I feel like, calling her up sometimes and leaving a message about how sick she is making feel, now that she is finding someone else that quickly. But, alas, that would just make things even more worse. I am trying to move on, but I feel like I can't, like I feel like I didn't do everything I could to try and convince her. I mean i don't want her to forget me either, I just dunno. I too, use to be very happy, she did that. Now, here i am at work trying to be happy, but its just fake. Sometimes, I feel like emailing her or leaving a message and telling her that, i still care about her and i am here for you if she needs anything. I did that a few times in early september, I dunno if it is even wise to do that still. Even if she does reply, it proably be, "Nick it needs to stop, Nick you will find someone better, etc.." ugh..why the hell would you sai that, is that what 2.5 years really means now. Damn, its now, I don't even feel like going downtown at night, because i am afraid I might bump into her and maybe her new man. Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Yeah its like all the good times mean nothing - I want to ermeber all teh good things but everytime I do I feel sick to my stomach... I can't even bring myself to look at our holiday photo's from less than 2 months ago! I want to delete all his texts but when I start to I have to read before I delete and I feel sick again!! I've never given so much of myself to someone else and sure I got jealous about this girl and made him feel untrusted but to go running to her makes me feel right... he'd probably have left me for her anyway... to know that she gets to hear his stories all day long and gets to make him smile - man that hurts! Take care Nick... try to do something to take your mind of it... easier said than done I know - I've gotta go. Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Jip---hey glad your back! I know the feeling. I feel the same way. He left me for someone younger. He's 32...she's 27 & I'm a couple years older than him. Now I feel used & abused. My ex is living with his ex now. I found out this today. So, now I'm stunned, shocked....overwhelmed! Him and I took things slow too. We were very patient. I mean, we developed an emotional/spiritual bond with eachother. Now it's smashed to he** cause he wanted to go to the psycho that treated him like crap! Don't understand why he would move in with her. I'm feeling angry today too. I feel abandon. I feel like he led me on & never cared. It's been 18 days of NC for me, Jip. He told me he would keep in touch & he hasn't called (unless it's the Private messages showing up on my cell). It hurts to know I gave all my time...all my heart to him & he just stomped it & threw it out of the door! Yeah, you're right. It's going to be hard for any of us here to give our heart to someone else. I guess, you live & you learn. Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 MJ thats what they always do. Always run back to the person that treated them like crap. Its happened to me 2 times counting this last time. (heard so much about how of a crack head he was how he treated her like ****) she runs back to him in the end. Being nice doesn't cut it. I'm sure we'll find someone that'll appreciate us for us. Its all about challenge and games. When you care it makes you look weak. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Yeah what is it with people wanting to be with people who treated them like crap? I don't get it. The only thing I could maybe see is they think that they can change the person to not treat them like crap and they see it as a challenge. I just shake my head when I hear about a person going back to someone who repeatedly cheated on them or always verballly abused them....yet you get many people here who treated their exes with respect and class yet they bnever got the respect to attempt to work things out. How is it the people who tret thier partners like crap get 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances yet good people don't get 2nd chances when they didnt even do anything wrong to cause the relationship to end in the first place. Humans boggle my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Hurt Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 My ex lied to me, treated me like **** and quess what???I still miss her! I must be sick! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Well guys, I cracked!! I shot out a email to my ex, its more like a "goodbye for right now,not forever" email. I dunno, I am sorry guys, but I had to let her know, how much shd did for me and how no one else can ever duplicate what she did as a g/f. I included in there, "if you do realize things in the future and that i am actually the guy for you, please don't hesistate, call, swing by or whatever, so we can talk". I pretty much let her know, I'll support her and be there for her, if things are tough. She may not be thinking that now but maybe later. So, ya i know I am sure some of you are going to be disappointed in what I did, I just cracked, I swear everything is falling apart for me and I don't know what to do anymore. SIGHS..... If that email was not the right thing to do or if it was, I didn't really care, its my heart speaking out and stuff, so ya this sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hey guys!! Glad to see everyone's still hanging in there--hard as it may be not to break down their door and just shake the sh*t out of them!!! (ive had this urge several times ) Kodiak, drjones--I do have a bit of good news... I said b4 that me ex and I were working on rebuilding our friendship. Well last night he called me (actually he called Friday too but I missed the call and waited for him to call me again, hehehe ) Seriously, that was THE best conversation we have have since before we even started going out! It was just so fun and light and I kinda got the feeling he missed me/is still into me or something. When I mentioned this guy at my job that is helping me w/ some investments he immediately started asking me questions abt what he looked like, etc--I could tell he was trying to be smooth abt it, lol. Actually anytime I mentioned any guy in any context he just got real silent and went "hmm" and changed the topic. Another time I told him abt my plans to go away (to virginia) for the New Year and jokingly said that maybe Ill get lucky and meet some hottie while Im down there. He laughed a little and said "knowing you, you'll stay down there--I hope you dont, but..." I dont know, there were a lot of little things like that and when I tried to hang up with him (we'd been talking almost 2hrs), he said "no,no,no--I have to get off the phone soon too--but not yet". Aye,yay,yay. I really hope Im not reading into this--Im trying not to read into it at all and just take everything for absolute face value but I cant help holding on to that little flicker of hope. You guys know what I mean--the one that never really goes out no matter how much you feel youre over them or are trying to get over them. I just dont wanna let myself expect too much and then be dissappointed... We finally did set up a date to hang out--next saturday, the 23rd. So maybe Ill just hold off on any hope until after that date, lol. BTW, he also said "I hope you know we can hang out whenever you want". Its weird, Im really nervous/scared but excited at the same time. Oh well. Drjones, I know you hate this word but I guess "time" really will tell, right? Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Dont feel bad Nick. You did what your heart told you you needed to do in order to keep yourself from going insane! If it hasnt happened to all of us already, it will, despite how much of a fight we try to put up . At some point most ppl give in to that nagging feeling that they just have to say that "one last thing"...sigh. I really think it is healthy--just as long as that one last thing, really isnt the first in a series of "lasts" . Dont make it a habit. You got your last say. Hopefully now you can finally gain peace of mind from feeling that youve given it your best shot--that there is really nothing else you can do... I dont know, you cld try to see this as the begining of the end of all of this misery--hopefully the end wont be too far off Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 HEy Guys, Nick14-- we all have cracked one point or another during this time, you spoke from the heart and you have to do what you feel is right, the ball is in your ex's court now....wait and see what happens LexiB-- good to hear from you....just play it cool and wait and see...what "time" (I hate that *****ing word deals for you this week on the date. I am happy for you let us know what happens.... Weird-- I dont get it either I just dont know why would someone want to go back to someone that cheated or lied to them....I cant answer that, its just the way it is.. As for me guys I am not doing so good, I am feelin real low and sad, I feel like an emotional roller coaster and I cant get a grip on myself....I just want some good news for me, I am getting real tired of this [email protected] hands are tied and i cant do a damn thing Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Ya, thanks guys, and this is the last email i am sending out. I could not do this over the phone and leave a message because I would of cried while I said it. I am sure right now, she is reading it and not taking me serious on the goodbye thing, you know she probably thinks "ya watch he will email again next week and i won't respond". Ya, I am just going to be by myself for awhile, I don't really see any woman duplicating what she did and loved for me. I just don't feel like picking one girl after another and trying to find that chemistry I had with my ex. You all know how it goes, once you find that someone and you guys are almost 100%alike and think alike and have the same thing alike, it usually comes once in a lifetime. So thats why its hard to come to terms that I still can't believe this is over and all. It sucks more or less. Sometimes, I think i should go to counseloring to get thru this, i dunno, i am just really confused and really ****ing hurt about this. I don't even feel like going to downtown at night again for a long time hmm.. Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Hey everyone. Well--I guess everyone knows. I got my answer...my ex moved in with her. Found out the news today. In away it's a relief but then again I'm hurting. My emotions are stunned, shocked, hurt. I'm trying to hang in there. I exercised tonight & it helped a great deal. crazydawg---Yeah, I don't understand. I want to be treated good & deserve to be treated good. My ex went back to her & I agree with everything you have said. Just hope I don't turn into a cold-heart B**ch because I've been hurt so much. Weird---Wow! That's a good question. We're all good people here & we don't get 2nd chances but the people that disrespect generally does. I got so many trust issues now! Who can you trust these days? Who's going to be loyal & devoted? Eventhough he's treated me *****ed-up I still think of him so if your sick---I am too. Nick14---You do what you feel is right. If you had to e-mail her to get out your emotions so be it...let it be the end. Let her make the call now. Who knows...when she does come back---You may be happy with someone else. I know you can't think about it right now (just like me...I can't) but you never know! I'm sorry you're so sad & down--but don't beat yourself up for sending it. You had to get out your feelings & let her know how you feel. LexiB---Sounds like things are going good for you girl. I'm happy for you. Yes---sounds to me he's jealous when you mention other guys. That means he still has deep feelings for you. 2 hours on the phone with him? YOU GO GIRL! drjones---hang in there...be strong. You can do it!! Don't give up! I know easier said than done but you have us all here if you need to vent. So if you have to curse, sob, shout----we're here to listen. I mean, you've heard my whining for days now. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 nick don't sweat it bro. We all have caved in some worse (ie me than others. mj, yeah tell me about it. I have trust issues as well because I just think about how the girl who said she loved me soooooooooo much and said I was the one for her wouldn't even make an attempt to work things out when the first sign of rough times hit so htf can I trust another chick now. Hell, I have started up communication with my ex (she contacted me and said she wanted to hang out) recently and she still (after a bloody year) seems afraid to actually hang out most likely because she won't be able to handle what possibly could happen. I think she prefers thinking about me in a negative way rather than see that whatever happened in the past doesnt have to be a sign of what would happen between us in the future. I just want to hang out with her (in normal friends/cool way) and whatever happens, happens. At the very least, if we hung out and decided we didnt like to spend time doing stuff together we would at least have some closure rather than sit and wonder....but nope, she will take the easy way out and just avoid finding out entirely. Pisses me off My problem I think is I deal with my ex the way I would want to be dealt with which means not trying to play games and just be honest and act on my feelings. Naturally my ex is a crazy broad and she has some serious issues with handling this type of stuff. She is the type that runs away rather than tries to resolve things and she is way too cautious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 Hey Guys, I am up again!! hey kodiak how are you doing buddy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 Hey Guys, How are you all doing today?...hey wantans4 I not heard from you in awhile hows evrything buddy?.....I am doing ok this morning...take care Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Weird---I think all of us are going to have trust issues here. I just hope I can be strong & I hope I'm over him when I see him again. Eventually, him and I are going to bump into eachother since we have the same friends. I hope I can act civil toward him...I hope I don't look into his eyes & see what we had. Hopefully, I'll be over him before I have to look into his eyes! drjones---hey. I didn't have any dreams about him lastnight. wooohoo! I'm kind of tired this morning though. ha Yeah, where is WantanS4??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 Hey MJ, Glad to hear that you have no more dreams last night!....its a good step...I am a little tired too, but thats ok..... Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Well... it seems everyone has been quite busy these past couple of days... I for one have been. Nothing has changed for me......... i'm doing good....... I don't remember dreaming... but i do wake up missing her. Oh well.. what can I do... it'll go away in time. I no longer have hope....it's gone. In fact... if our paths are to cross again...... the first words that would come out of my mouth is SLUT. Why?? Because she doesn't know what she wants (which I doubt... she knows she doesn't want me)....... and what does not knowing what you want lead too............ finding out....... how??..... this day in age sleeping around. hence... slut! I am trully better off without my ex.......... her world/principles/morals/personality........... do not match mine.............. TOO BAD!!!! As far as dating goes for me....... NO THANK YOU! Why?? Because this day in age....... no matter how 'nice' a girl is......... she's a slut............. used......... dirty........ depriciated. Yup...... my ex really did a number on me........ and she's managed to screw every other nice girl over (cause my entire family thought she was the perfect nice girl). So........ I've lost hope......... and it will take a miracle for it to come back. Seems like relationships are all about sex these days........ welll........Even though I'm a guy........ I DON'T NEED SEX.......... I DON'T WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what's been on my mind mj108/kodiak/drjones......... that's what the wheels have been turning. I don't want anybody......... I don't want anybody else to know me.......... I don't want to let anyone else in. IT AIN'T HAPPENING! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick14 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Well Wanton, welcome to the boat. I feel the same exact way, I feel maybe my ex is just inexperenced and takes the bad advice from the wrong people like..."ya, watch, hook up with a guy and you will get Nick out of your mind in no time" hence explains why she is withsomeone else and its only been a month since she broke it off. Slut, um..I dunno, rebound bitch..um.. DING DING DING!! I dunno really guys, thats another reason why i don't want to find anyone for a long time, how can i trust someone who I trusted for 2.5 years, the best girl I ever found out of my past ex's and it still goes to ****. I guess, the only way I can actually get thru life in one piece, is either getting a kitten and marrying it and not have to worry about any kind of troubles...yes I know how lame is that for me to think ugh...Day 6 NC and still counting.. Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 ahhaha... Day 42 NC... and I had to do the math to figure it out haahhaahah.................. s***..........hahahahaahah Link to post Share on other sites
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