Author djones Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 Thanks, I guess its a tough pill to swallow and you guys are right, I have to move on....I guess I was looking for was hope.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted September 28, 2004 Author Share Posted September 28, 2004 Hey Guys, I just feel real lost and alone right now....I was walking the dog and got this sweaty feeling and heart pounding....all diagnosis leading to a panic attack....I could not help it or pull my self together and I had to just come home...I just dont know where to look for some sort of comfort (cant call the ex) and I just lost faith in everything, I dont believe in a happy ending for myself just heart ache.. whats wrong with me?.......I hope you all are doing ok....I needed to vent.... Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 drjones- hey my brother I know how that feels. I had one of those last night. I get sweaty and very queasy. When this happens i get in teh car and drive out to my parents house and vent to my mom. I play a song that we used to listen too in the car and i cry alot of the time. I hate it but I tend to feel better in the end. I feel ****ty too, I mean me and my ex I thought are friends but she never even called to thank me for the card I sent her after her surgery. I bet I was the only ex that has ever done that for her but i still got no reply. Kinda sucks... hang in there dude, we are here for you...Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Hey---I haven't posted in awhile but just wanted to say "hang in there guys." I hope you all don't give up hope. Always know too that if it doesn't work out with the exes---there is something more better for you guys. Coming from a woman---I think you all deserve better, but I do know how it feels to be in love with someone that doesn't respond back. I will say that I'm happy that I found this...& I've read everything all of you have posted. Basically, I have been down & out thinking all guys are like my ex but reading the what you all have posted---I've realized that not all guys are bad. That there are some good guys in the world. As far as us women go---sometimes we will not call back because alot of us will read our Cosmo mags....Glamour mags...etc...and most of those magazines give the advice "Don't call him...if he's interested in you---he'll call!!!" So a lot of women will do that, and be stubborn & not call. I use to be one of them. I think you all should do the NC rule for a few weeks & then call them every now & then. But I wouldn't say "hey, I miss you." etc. I would make it a call just to see how they were doing. If you get their machine---tell them that you were just seeing how they were doing & leave it plain & simple. The reason why I'm saying this is because I know women that get a thrill off of men wanting them back. It's ashame but it's the truth. I'm not saying that all of your exes are like the women that get a thrill like that...but I'm just being honest. I never knew you guys go through what us good girls go through. It's ashame that we go through it...but there is a reason why. Always remember---The earth is round---you both shall meet again & It probably will be when you finally move on, cause that's generally the way it goes. Then when they do come back to you---you'll have to make the decision---if you're happier with the person you're with now or if you want to give the ex another chance. Dr. Jones---I hate that you're going through everything. I hope you the best. I know how it is to hang out with everyone that is coupled up! It sucks! Things will get better...but I do think you need to get out as much as possible & not wait for her phone call. Keep yourself busy. Kodiak---I have a feeling she's going to be calling you soon. Just be patient. WantanS4---my bet is on Kodiak! Sign me up. lol I do wish you the best too though! As for my ex & I...I haven't spoke to him since Wednesday. I'm doing good. Got the anger going on...but the dreams keep happening every night! Wish they would stop. God bless all of you & I will check back from time to time. I hope you all get what you want in the end---if it's the ex or if it's with someone else that will make you all happy....I hope & pray that you all have better days. Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
dugs Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 drjones, cade, kodiak, backspn, wantanS4, wasitheone, mj108, and anybody else I forgot, I havn't been here in a little bit, but I just caught up on everybodys posts and I just wanted to say that I hope everybody is hanging in there. For me I think I have had a moment of clarity for the first time in like four months...oh yeah I've been broken up with my ex for like 4 months as well...kinda weird. Anyways back to what I was sayin. This weekend I was supposed to hang out with the ex on fri. She called me after work and she said that she maybe wanted to go out with me to this party...she would call after she got out of the shower...she called an hour later but GUESS WHAT, I didn't call her back!!! It was weird because for like the first time I just felt like not really talking to her. I was just sick of her breaking plans all the time with me so I just didn't want to deal with it I guess. I called her on Sat. and she acted suprised that I didn't call her back. Anyways she called me on Sun. but I didn't answer and havn't called back either. I guess what I'm getting at here is that I have been doing alot of thinking, asked myself some logical questions and and come to a few conclusions: 1) I feel bad alot of the time becasue why? Because my ex likes to play games with me. 2) what can I do to feel better? Get her out of my life for good 3) How can I do this? By simply ignoring her and not having anything to do with her! DUH! I have realized that she is the sole source of my pain and disapointment and that it will never change if I do not do somthing. I refuse to let this one person control my feelings anymore. Basically F*ck her and her stupid games. I will not give her the pleasure anymore. If she truly does care about me anymore than she will try and come back to me, she will be the chaser. I am done chasing though. And if she doesn't come back then again F*ck her. I am just so sick right now of being disapointed all the time, I want to be happy again. Remember, If you always do somthing the same way, then you will always get the same results, if you want something to change, well...you have to change what you do... Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Right on, dugs! You're right. When I didn't answer my exes call, he was like "Where were you at?" He was freaking! It is true. Like I said----when you move on---that's when they will be back. For some reason it happens that way. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 I am just starting the NC on my terms this time. She started it a 2 weeks ago and then she broke it to wish me a happy birthday on Thurs. We havent talked since then and today I called to wish her a happy birthday and she didnt answer or return my call. So I sent her an IM and she didnt return that either. So I have decided that even though she tells me that she's my friend...she really isnt. Thanks to weweregods for this quote: Immature people don't know what they want, they whine about what they don't have and ignore everything that they do have. My question is can NC work in my case? We have kept in contact for 7 months since our break and she seems to be getting more distant from me as the days go by. I have never tried NC so I am kinda winging it. Can it still work this late in the breakup stage? If it can how long should I keep up? 1 month or longer? Someone told me this in an earlier post: Ignore them for a good month, then call them and act chill (that’s if they broke up with u) and show them u aren’t the clingy girl or guy u used to be and laugh and stuff. After they see that you are happy without them they will want you! Do you think this is true and since I was her everything for 3 years...do you think it will work? Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted September 28, 2004 Author Share Posted September 28, 2004 Hey Guys, Thanks for the support, I just woke up this morning its 2:22 am, I woke up in a cold sweat....I guess even in my sleep I am disturbed. Mj108 ---thanks for the woman's point of view....Fu@k I dont know why people make crap advice in magazines for both women and men...I hate this crap where one has to do NC or play this you call me first crap!!....I know that she knows that I still care for her.....but by me doing NC will it work (if its meant to be..yada yada..) I know it will help heal me....but she does not get jelouse (sp?)...ah doesnt matter any more....Mj108 there are a lot of good guys, the only problem is we get hurt many times and then you start growing a thicker skin to be a "man" when you see that the "@$$ hole" guys get the girl and you forget about being a decient guy.... Kodiak---Thanks man, I glad that I got to know you, since I have met you, you have given me hope and good advice and you are a good friend.....I dont know why she has not called or if she is seeing someone, just do what you are doing, look what happened to me...if you find out that she is seeing someone, be prepared and I will be there for you too if you need us..... I find myself still reading her e-mail tring to see if there is a scrap of hope for me with her............you know what i mean....like she does not want ot join up with me in business b/c she still has feelings for me......mix of business and pleasure.....ahh I just have to leave it alone.... Dugs---you keep doing what you are doing you are taking the better route what you said makes total sence to me RIGHT now: I have realized that she is the sole source of my pain and disapointment and that it will never change if I do not do somthing. I refuse to let this one person control my feelings anymore. Basically F*ck her and her stupid games. I will not give her the pleasure anymore. If she truly does care about me anymore than she will try and come back to me, she will be the chaser. I am done chasing though. And if she doesn't come back then again F*ck her. I am just so sick right now of being disapointed all the time, I want to be happy again. Remember, If you always do somthing the same way, then you will always get the same results, if you want something to change, well...you have to change what you do... I need to change what I have been doing...no more chasing...thanks Backspn--- I dont know you are prob asking the wrong guy right now....I am doing the NC thing now I think what Dugs is saying may help you too..... Guys thanks agian....I need to hear from you all, I find some comfort knowing that you guys are around...regardless how far you all live in the the world.....I think I will go and listen to some don henley and try to get some sleep..........take care Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 drjones- Hey my brother I am glad that i found you too and I will be hear for you and help you as much as I can. Im going through the samething as you although it might be easier in some ways. I have had a really crappy night. Had a very long drive and cried for awhile. Sure it might be sappy but you know what I felt better. I dont know what the future holds for any of us. God or whoever you beleive in only holds that answer. there is a reason for all this happening to us. What that is and why? Who knows. My ex has consumed my toughts 24-7 since the break up and it will continue to be that way. Only if our exes knew how much we loved them. Drjones do me a favor. It kinda sounds like you listen to music alot and certain songs make you fell better. Try to find the song "someday out of the blue" by elton John. Listen to it over and over again until you can sing it without hearing. trust me it will make you feel better. Do that for me ok buddy? mj108- All I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words were awesome and it made me feel really good. i wanna ask you more questions but Im going to bed so I will just ask one for right now. When you said sometimes girls read those magazines and do what they say, doesnt that refer to if they got dumped. I mean do they not call sometimes for those reasons even if they are the ones that did the dumping. I hope you understand what im tryiong to get at here? Everybody take care. Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 In my experience my boyfriend went back to his Ex girlfriend. Who now is my Ex boyfriend. He was with my for a while. Then the Ex girlfriend wanted him back. He was with her for like 2 to 4 years before getting with me. They were even engaged at one time but then called it off for some reason. Also had a baby together too. The guy probably just used me to get away from all the hassles of the situation he was in. He was around 22. Well after falling for the guy. He dumps me and runs back to her. After all the harrasing she did to get him back. It's been a year and a bit now. Since he left me. Way over it now and with somebody new. Who is not involved in sticky situations like that. . You never know what happens in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Originally posted by mj108 When I didn't answer my Exes call he was like "Where were you at?" He was freaking! It is true. Like I said when you move on that's when they will be back. For some reason it happens that way. That is so so true. It's happened to me more then once this year. It's like they don't get that you are happily taken and that you've moved on. When I recognise the number on the phone I hang up on them straight away. That's the best way to deal with it. I thought I should've of thought of this ages ago when I was struggling in relationships. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted September 28, 2004 Author Share Posted September 28, 2004 Hey Guys, last night was rough.....today I am in a bad mood, very very snippy and get angry real real fast, I generally dont get angry I keep it inside myself and I feel like a loose cannon....I am doing the NC thing.....Kodiak I will try to find the song..... Ziggue---I dont know if she will call me back, I think this only works for girls...ie the guy calls back.....I dont think it will work for me....... In general Ladies can you give us guys here some more insight on how you guys are thinking when you dump us....I just cant figure out what to do...well now there is nothing for me to do...she has someone...i dont...so she does not have to come back to me...she has a "safety net" so to speak of..... Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 HOLY SH.IT!!!! We have a new contestant. Taking bets on (1)drjones, (2) kodiak, (3) Wantans4, (4) dugs. Odds: (1) 1 in 4,000,000,000 (2) 1 in 1,000,000 (3) 1 in 5,000,000 (4) 1 in 500,000 Who's in? Kidding aside.... Yup... I'll tell you... I loved her... I loved her to the point where I forgot who I was because I believed in us. But now, after hitting rock bottom... i realize that I can't love her for what she's done. I've forced/pushed myself into believing that everything between was a lie..... and that being, I can't let it get to me. That's what got me over the hill..... and yes i get sad sometimes... i get angry/mad/worried that she's f.uck.ing some sack of sh.it in the same bed I made love to her...... but i can't do anything except wait for the day she comes crying back and so I can start the conversation with "Why have you comeback? What do you want? Have you changed? Did you sleep with anyone else?" and if the answers are not sufficient enough to fullfill my needs..... "We are done talking. I suggest you continue to serve your purpose." Venting... What a fu.cking bitch. I regret not screwing her over 4 years ago.... and attemtp to build something with the most amazing woman I've seen in my entire life (which I still remember quite well). But I guess that's the price of falling in love. Time has healed my wounds... and time will bring the day when I meet the luckiest girl in the world. REMEMBER... KARMA IS A B.ITCH!!!! We cry today... they will die tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted September 28, 2004 Author Share Posted September 28, 2004 hey WantanS4, Fu@k my odds are just as good as me getting hit on the head with a metor ....Yeah I hope we all find the happiness we all are looking for....I just can figure why good guys like us get screwed over..... Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 drjones- It sounds like you are having a tough day and i understand how that goes. I will be around most of the day so I will try to help you out if you post on here and need some advice. try to listen to that song by Elton John. It will make you feel better, I promise. Also just look at everything that is happening right now is only temporary. It will change and something good will come out of it. No one knows what that might be but we have to try to remain strong. Take Care.......Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 drjones, I told you..... she lied to you. All those memories/good things about her are lies........... no one should love lies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted September 28, 2004 Author Share Posted September 28, 2004 Kodiak and wantanS4, Thanks...I do need some support today, I feel like I have hit rock bottom....it hard to look at the good I have done in the last couple of weeks it seems like its just does not mean anything now that I am alone.....I dont feel like working on my business plan...all I feel like doing is just sleep.....but my mind just goes back to her....crazy eh.....take care guys I hope you all have some good news to post here.....WantanS4 thanks man for your rants its helping me see the other side of things.... Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Dr. Jones---You say she won't get jealous but believe me---if you start going out & not giving her the time of day & start hanging out with some girls, you'll see her true colors. I'm sure of it. You'll see it bothers her (she cares) or you'll see it don't bother her (she doesn't care). You will find your answer then, I believe. I guess, I ended up with the guys that got that "thicker skin." I think I'm even getting the thick skin on too but I'm trying not too, but it's hard when you get deeply hurt, you know? I wish I could give you some insight about women who dump on good men but I can't. I've always been the one that got dumped on. That is a good question though that I've been wondering myself. I do believe your right about the 'safety net.' When she starts having problems with him, she'll come running back & when she does I hope you're strong. I mean, you can still talk to her, but you need to have your guard up so you don't get your hopes up & be going through it again. Kodiak---to answer your question: It doesn't matter if the girl got dump. The mags. talk about "How to get a guy." "How to get back at a guy." "Should you leave this guy?" Blah..blah...blah. The Magazines have got so out of hand now...to where nothing in them is REALITY. That's why I quit reading them. Just go to one of the websites & that will show you what's in them---and it's sad but a lot of women are fully devoted to the Mags. & believe everything in them. I hope I answered your question. I'm sorry you're going through it but just know---this woman is too! It's not just the good guys that go through it---it's us good girls too. Keep your head up Kodiak & remember try to stay positive! Ziggue---You give me hope!! I've been dumped & he ran back to her also. I hope to meet my 'someone new.' One question though---How long did it take for you to get over him & find someone new? Also--I hope I'm as strong as you were when he starts calling me back. I hope I can hang up. WanTanS4---How long was you with this girl? There ars so many post--I didn't want to run through them all. lol It sounds like I probably have been through the same situation you are in right now (in my past relationships). I'm glad you are angry about it. It's better to be angry than depressed & sad. But I know the emotions are different everyday. You are right---time heals & you will meet a great girl--one that you deserve!! I wish you the best! TO EVERYONE: Listen to those love/sad/sappy songs---cry your eyes out---Then turn on some Linkin Park & get stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djones Posted September 28, 2004 Author Share Posted September 28, 2004 hey mj108, Thanks for the advice...we will see how time progesses right now I dont feel like seeing other women....but I guess if she calls or e-mails me later on I could say that I am seeing someone? I dont know if lie like that would help or just mess things up more....I dont know...right now I cant think straight, I took the dog for a walk to help clear my head...it helped a little....I started thinking about this idea of serendipty does it exist or is it just false hope for hopeless romantics.....we all are going through a lot here and it just sometimes does not make sense to me, of what we should learn from a heartbreak?...just have these random thoughts going in my mind right now.... Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Hey Everybody- Well im sitting here at work with another 12 hours to go and I feel so sad and depressed right now that its killing me inside. I mean I have to say between last night and today I have felt so crappy that it feels liek I just broke up with her. I mean its been four months already and I still have these terrible days. Im going on a fishing trip with my friend this weekend and im not even excited about going. i used to love to fish and do that stuff. im seriously starting to think that something is medically wrong with me. Im sure my ex doesnt give me the time of day anymore and is happy that she dumped me. I mean sure she still calls but for what reason, i guess just to say hi. Guys and girls I seriously think that this girl is my soul mate but Im not hers. I mean dont you think that in 4 months she would have comeback? Sure it can take longer but I mean c'mon. I guess Im doomed because how many LDR actually get second chances. I dont know what to do. I texted her to see if she got the card because she never even said thank you but I got no reply. I mean thats hurts. I guess I just have to forget about her completely and not be the nice ex. Im just hurting. I have had like two of those stupid anxiety attacks today and they suck. Does anybody have any suggestions what to do when those come. I use to get them before(very seldom) when I was with my ex and I would call her and just hearing her voice would make them go away. Now ofcourse i dont have that and it makes the attacks that much worse. God I just feel like Im taking a step back... mj108-hey thanks for your reply again. What does a girl think if she was the one that did the dumping. How does she feel about NC. Do you still think that my ex misses me form time to time? I mean we ahd a pretty great relationship but it was LD and I kinda screwed things up with that. But she never told me that she stopped loving me but that relationship at this time wasnt working out. What do you think? I mean if I ever hope on getting her back should I accept her phone calls when she calls and talk to her. I mean why does she call me still after four months? Any suggestions I can use them right now. But be honest i dont care if its somnething i dont wanna hear. I need a girls point of view...Thanks Kodiak Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Well---you guys I'm fixing to lay it on bluntly...to you Dr. Jones & to you Kodiak. I hope you guys don't end up hating me for being honest---and giving my opinion on things. This is probably going to be long...so I'll lay it on bluntly to Kodiak first & then after his post I'll lay it on bluntly to Dr. Jones. Just giving my opinion and a lot of times my opinions aren't right. I went back & read most of ya'lls post. I didn't read all of them...but hopefully I won't get anything wrong here. If I do..sorry. This is based on my experience throughout life & people around me that have been through the heartbreak. Kodiak----I think she's keeping in touch with you because something is still there. You say your insecurities broke ya'll up. I feel like she's keeping in contact with you just seeing if you've worked on that. I don't know your relationship with her but I'm figuring jealousy took it's toll & interfered. I think she broke things off before things got worse to where you or her or both were accusing eachother of things. She cared enough to do that. She didn't want ya'll to end up enemies in the end. That says a lot. I think you should take her calls;HOWEVER, when you do---I would keep it plain & simple. I know you want to tell her you love her---that she's your soulmate & that she's your breathe of fresh air, but don't do it!!! Don't even talk about the past...unless she brings it up. Start fresh...and new. Don't talk about yall's relationship at all!! Unless she brings it up. If you talk to her about it & keep pushing---she'll think the insecurity is back & look the other way. If she calls you---don't jump calling her back. Call the next day. If you get her voicemail tell her that you were returning her call. Leave it at that. JUST CALL OR TEXT ONE TIME ONLY! ONE TIME! Let her call you back. I think you shouldn't wait around for her call. I'm sure she's doing her own thing. I'm glad you're going on that fishing trip. Still keep yourself busy. I know it's hard & I know it's been 4 months...but you've got to go on with your life as well. I know you're probably not looking for anyone (I'm the same way) but you do need to push yourself & hang out with friends & family. Don't stay at home & mope around. It's not going to do any good. She will respond about the card---give her time. I am wondering one question though---when you were in a relationship with her--did you constantly call her a lot & it bugged her when you did? Do I think your ex misses you? Yes---but I think she's trying to see if your going to change...your insecurities...your trust issues. Why does she call you after 4 months? Cause she cares a heck of a lot for you but I do think that you don't need to call her...let her call you. Just like I said---don't talk about the relationship...let her carry on the conversation. When she calls & if she gets your voicemail...call her back...ONE TIME! I'm sorry this is so long. lol I'm just trying to help & I hope I am. My advice isn't the greatest but I'm just telling you the way I see it. Go on that fishing trip---keep busy! Work on the insecurity....do things you enjoy! Once she sees you've worked on it & changed---I believe she will be wanting something, but you may had found someone by then that is by yourside. Who knows? Be patient. P.S. I know this is giving you hope...but I'm not always right. Still keep that guard up & don't surround your life around her. Keep yourself busy. I hope that I've been helpful. I wish you the best Kodiak! I hope I didn't say anything wrong here. Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Drjones---your next. lol Give me a minute to post since I'm long-winded! Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 drjones----From what I've read...She broke up with you because of her busy work schedule & didn't want to give you a half-a** relationship. Well---take it from a woman that works 60 hours a week (sometimes more!)... you will make time for a person you truly love. Even if it's one day out of a week...you will see that person or talk to them on the phone all day. She tells you that she's busy with work--& don't want to give you a half-a** relationship & then she moves on to another guy? Hmm... sounds to me she can't get her story straight. She told you that she couldn't have a half-a** relationship with you---that she didn't have time for a relationship because of her BUSY schedule then she meets another guy & tells you all about it. Bulls$%#! I'm so mad at her right now I could rip her head off. Sorry...just venting !! You don't need to be treated this way!! You deserve a heck of a lot better. Then she tells you you don't have your life in order? HELLO? Sounds like she can't get her story straight. She can't have a relationship because she's busy but yet...oh guess what....she met someone. F that! I'm just wondering...you say you're 30? How old is she? Just curious. If I stepped on your toes on this post. I'm sorry. If I read your past post wrong..& got things wrong here...I'm sorry...correct me. My advice: I think you deserve better. I know how hard it is to move on...especially---when you hear their name every day....you see something that reminds you of them...you smell a scent & it takes you back to the time you once shared. I know it's hard but I think you should get out & keep yourself busy. You have to push yourself..it looks like she has control of you & she's enjoying it. I don't know her...but I'm just telling you the way I see it. I know you don't feel like seeing anyone else...especially after her. When I say to keep busy...I mean, surround yourself with positive people that will help you through this. I'm not meaning to hook up. If you talk to her, I wouldn't say you've found someone else but I would let her know that you're having a heck of a time & having fun! Be an actor---& if you have to fake your happiness when she calls---DO IT! I would not call her. Let her call you. If she calls you & you feel like you need to contact her I would wait a few days...even if she keeps calling. You're busy...remember & you are happy! Act that way when you speak to her again. I know you didn't want to hear this but I'm just trying to help. You said you took the dog out for a walk & that helped a little...that's a start. Go out for a drink with a friend...start exercising (I've been doing that...it helps clear the mind). Whatever you have to do to think about YOU. Do like Kodiak & go on that fishing trip ( I HOPE HE DOES OR I'M GONNA GET EM !) ...it will help! You have to push yourself to get out. I'm so good at giving advice...& need to take my own at times. I hope I didn't make you angry in anyway. Just being honest. STAY STRONG! Link to post Share on other sites
dugs Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Drjones and kodiak, My heart goes out to you guys, I know what your going through cause I've been there, its like a nightmare that you can't wake up from. I hope that someday soon your heart will realize exactly what I'm sure that your mind already knows: that you need to move on. Its a weird thing that your mind tells you to do one thing like "get over it cause thats whats best for me" but your heart will tell you somthing like "but she is my soul mate, I love her and their is no one else out their". They totally contradict each other. It sucks, but don't worry, it just takes longer for the heart to catch up to your mind. When it happens though the two will be in perfect harmony again and you will feel much better. I would listen to mj108's analysis cause I second everything she said relating to your relationships, but then again we don't really know how it is so who are we to speak. mj108: I need a girls perspective on my situ and you seem like you are good at analyzing. It also seems like you and I are in the same boat, if I'm not mistaken. Both our ex's still call and want us in their life on a regular basis but we are not sure we want them in our life anymore? Thats how it is for me at least, I don't know about you. What I want to know is why does she keep calling me if she is not interested in getting back together? More specifically about 3 weeks ago she was so eager to hang out with me again after me doing the NC thing for like 2 months. She wanted to hang out for like 3 weeks and then all of a sudden she didn't want to hang out but just talk everyday on the phone. Its been like 5 weeks now since I first talked to her again. Here are some other details: 1) She hasn't been involved with anyone since we broke up 2) When we did hang out for those few weeks we kissed and cuddled and made out, but no sex. 3) We laughed and had good times when we hung out So why is she still hanging around? Do you think that she got scared that she was fallen for me again and just doesn't want a commitment right now and thats why she doesn't want to hang out anymore or is she just playing games with me? Did she hang out with me for those few weeks just to get me hooked on her again so she can keep me on the side as some kind of safty net? As a girl what do you think? In my last post I had some kind of courage that I feel I have lost. I kinda feel like callin her back since it's been like three days. I don't think she will call again untill I return her call. She is very stubborn like that, she has too much pride. Should I call or wait a little longer? Sorry if that was too many questions but I just need some female advice right now aside from my friends who don't want to hear about it anymore. I would appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 GROUP THERAPY!!!!! This is great.... one of these days.... I'll post my 'story' too. But not today... last night was bad... kept dreaming about her... waking up... dreaming about her... waking up... dreaming about her.. waking up.......... Link to post Share on other sites
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