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Is one affair worse than another?


StillHurtin

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I spoke to an old friend over the weekend. Her H also had an A w/ a W that he worked w/. He told her he only slept w/ her once and they were both drunk. I hadn't told her about the whole A w/ my dh until yest. She told me that if her H would of slept w/ the OW more than once she would of divorced him. She asked me why I stayed w/ my dh when he slept w/ the OW more than one time. I didn't say anything b/c we had just discussed how ppl told us why we went back to our H's after they had an A. Does it make a difference if a person sleeps w/ the other person more than once in an A? What makes one A worse than another?

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Yes. Long term affairs that involve love and emotion that have a long duration are usually hardest to recover from. One night stands are usually the ones that are forgiven more easily. There are three types, so ivillage says, the one nighter, the long term, and the deal breaker-deal breaker being where the spouse wants O-U-T of the current marriage.

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Thanks Spock! I guess it kind of pi$$ed me off when she asked me why I stayed w/ him. When dh had the A our marriage was ending. We were seperated and papers were filed w/ the court. But, it is still an A b/c dh came back to me. When my friend's H had an A there wasn't anything wrong w/ their marriage (so we all thiught). He never told his W he wanted out of the marriage. As far as she knew there was nothing wrong. She never complained about her marriage and we were close, she told me a lot. I would find it harder to have to deal w/ an A if I thought there was nothing wrong w/ the M. And TBH I think she lied to me. She told me about the time they were 2gether but I remember a few years ago she said he went back to the OW and slept w/ her again when they were getting their M back 2gether. I remember this b/c all of us (her friends) said to eachother "How can she go back to him after he had another A w/ the OW?" This all happened years b4 my own dh had an A so I didn't know what it was like to have to go through that.

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Do a search for all of Sinner's posts. He is a genious when it comes to analyzing what "type" of an affair is occurring.

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