Spending too much time on mundane stuff? Feels like I'm stuck in a rut

[Els]

Anyone else have a problem with this?

 

I just realized that I spent the entire past HOUR doing just these: Clearing up the stuff that we used to go outdoors over the weekend, doing a bit of tidy-up of my work desk, checking up some questions I had related to an immigration application that I'm doing, doing the laundry, chucking stuff into the oven to cook, and taking out the trash. I still have to vacuum the floor, read up on some reqs for grad school, do the dishes, sort out an issue with my smart phone, call up some immigration advisers, but I'm figuring that can wait for tomorrow.

 

I also need to do all sorts of stuff that I have been procrastinating like getting our bedroom organized (we moved in several MONTHS ago!), working on my freelance plans and such, but there never seems to be TIME for it. It's like I'm perpetually stuck doing routine maintenance or necessary urgent stuff and it's all I have the time or energy for, instead of stuff that will really make a difference in the long term but isn't urgently needed.

 

Anyone else have this problem? Yes, I know LSing takes up time, but that's R&R time. I'm thinking I can be more efficient with my errands-time.

[rys]

same here.

 

i was planning to re-decorate my son's room. after buying fabric for curtains, i got stuck there haha

[FitChick]

Hire a maid.

[xxoo]

Would it help to be more organized with your tasks? Why are you doing paperwork AND cooking AND unpacking in one stretch of time?

 

Cooking-dishes-trash (every day)

 

unpacking-laundry-vacuum- desk (day one)

 

Paperwork--phone calls--smartphone (day two)

 

reading (day three)

 

When I was in school and working, I would literally schedule these kinds of tasks in my planner.

[tman666]

I used to consider the ability to cram the most things into the least amount of time to be a virtue. No longer do I believe this.

 

When I was in college, I got into the habit, mostly out of necessity, of managing nearly every second of every day. I got a lot done this way, to be sure, but the downsides only started to manifest themselves as this type of planning morphed from being a skill to a lifestyle.

 

The thing I did not realize until only recently (I've been out of school for 4 years now) is that the added stress of my "down to the wire" planning was negatively influencing my ability to enjoy the things I was doing. Even my "down time" activities (such as going to the gym, martial arts, outdoor activities, etc.) felt like chores.

 

As a result, I've been actively trying to schedule less into my life. Since going to work isn't practically optional, and my first passion is lifting/fitness, martial arts ended up being on the chopping block. It killed me that I had to drop it, especially considering the advances I had made over the years.

 

With all of that said though, I don't regret letting it go. I wish I didn't have to drop it, but I did. I was over my limit. Since quitting and opening up a mere 2 hours per week in my schedule, my overall stress levels have been considerably lower, and I've been enjoying everything else more.

 

Basically, while it's good to plan for the future and learn from the past, living in the present moment is something that we tend to do very little these days. I'm personally enjoying the benefits of trying to do it (enjoy the present) more.

 

Just my $.02.

[iris219]

Would it help to be more organized with your tasks? Why are you doing paperwork AND cooking AND unpacking in one stretch of time?

 

Cooking-dishes-trash (every day)

 

unpacking-laundry-vacuum- desk (day one)

 

Paperwork--phone calls--smartphone (day two)

 

reading (day three)

 

When I was in school and working, I would literally schedule these kinds of tasks in my planner.

 

I schedule these kinds of things into my calendar too. I wouldn't get anything done if I didn't write down what needed to be done.

 

I also give myself a time limit. For example, I will pay bills on Saturday morning from 9-9:30. I HAVE to be done by 9:30. Giving myself a time limit somehow makes me get things done. I often give myself longer than I need so I feel especially accomplished when I get it all done with time leftover.

[Els]

Hire a maid.

 

If you know of any way that a grad student can afford a maid, do let me know.

 

Would it help to be more organized with your tasks? Why are you doing paperwork AND cooking AND unpacking in one stretch of time?

 

Cooking-dishes-trash (every day)

 

unpacking-laundry-vacuum- desk (day one)

 

Paperwork--phone calls--smartphone (day two)

 

reading (day three)

 

When I was in school and working, I would literally schedule these kinds of tasks in my planner.

 

I schedule these kinds of things into my calendar too. I wouldn't get anything done if I didn't write down what needed to be done.

 

I also give myself a time limit. For example, I will pay bills on Saturday morning from 9-9:30. I HAVE to be done by 9:30. Giving myself a time limit somehow makes me get things done. I often give myself longer than I need so I feel especially accomplished when I get it all done with time leftover.

 

Hmm, I think the reasons I don't schedule are twofold.

 

1) A lot of these are incidental tasks, and our lives aren't regimented enough that, for instance, I can plan to do paperwork only once a week. A lot of the time it is required before that.

2) I'm a fairly whimsical person. Which means that sometimes I am in the mood for cerebral work, and sometimes I'm in the mood for more physical work. It goes a lot more smoothly when I do the sort of work I am in the mood for at the current time, I find, rather than going against the grain.

 

How do you feel scheduling the tasks would help me do them more efficiently? I am not against the suggestion, but I admit I don't understand the benefits yet. The issue is mainly that I feel I spend a lot of TIME on mundane tasks that (I think) needs to be done, so after they're all done I don't have the energy to do the 'non-necessary' and non-urgent self-improvement stuff that I had planned.

 

I do write down what needs to be done, and by when, but I don't schedule exactly when.

 

I used to consider the ability to cram the most things into the least amount of time to be a virtue. No longer do I believe this.

 

When I was in college, I got into the habit, mostly out of necessity, of managing nearly every second of every day. I got a lot done this way, to be sure, but the downsides only started to manifest themselves as this type of planning morphed from being a skill to a lifestyle.

 

The thing I did not realize until only recently (I've been out of school for 4 years now) is that the added stress of my "down to the wire" planning was negatively influencing my ability to enjoy the things I was doing. Even my "down time" activities (such as going to the gym, martial arts, outdoor activities, etc.) felt like chores.

 

As a result, I've been actively trying to schedule less into my life. Since going to work isn't practically optional, and my first passion is lifting/fitness, martial arts ended up being on the chopping block. It killed me that I had to drop it, especially considering the advances I had made over the years.

 

With all of that said though, I don't regret letting it go. I wish I didn't have to drop it, but I did. I was over my limit. Since quitting and opening up a mere 2 hours per week in my schedule, my overall stress levels have been considerably lower, and I've been enjoying everything else more.

 

Basically, while it's good to plan for the future and learn from the past, living in the present moment is something that we tend to do very little these days. I'm personally enjoying the benefits of trying to do it (enjoy the present) more.

 

Just my $.02.

 

I totally agree with you, tman. I strive to find this balance, everyday - how do I enjoy my present day while still putting in a bit of investment so that tomorrow and my distant future will be better? I could do better at finding the balance. Currently the balance seems to be "Coast through the current day doing just enough so that tomorrow won't be ****". That means keeping up with grad school, keeping the house from looking like a barn, keeping up some semblance of social contact and maintaining my LTR. Everything else seems to slide by the wayside a lot.

[sweetjasmine]

2) I'm a fairly whimsical person. Which means that sometimes I am in the mood for cerebral work, and sometimes I'm in the mood for more physical work. It goes a lot more smoothly when I do the sort of work I am in the mood for at the current time, I find, rather than going against the grain.

 

I'm the same way, and, yeah, lately it's been hard to get things done. I have some urgent things that take priority, but there's always dishes in the sink, laundry to be done, something to be cleaned, paperwork to be filed/completed/taken care of, finances to manage... And soon I'll be piling a full-time night shift on top of coursework, so...

 

Honestly, the only solution I've found to work is to just let some of the minor things go. It drives me nuts when the sink is full of dishes, but if my "productive" time would be better spent researching something or working on something non-urgent but useful, then f--- it, the dishes are staying in the sink, and that's the end of it. Between H and me, it'll eventually get done, so if neither of us wants to spare the time at that moment, then too bad, sink, deal with it.

 

Scheduling can help. It creates a semblance of order amidst the chaos. Although I end up ignoring my chores schedule half the time, it sometimes comes in handy.

 

The issue is mainly that I feel I spend a lot of TIME on mundane tasks that (I think) needs to be done, so after they're all done I don't have the energy to do the 'non-necessary' and non-urgent self-improvement stuff that I had planned.

 

Yeah, it really ends up being a lot of time. Or at least it certainly feels like it. "But I have to take care of [vacuuming the carpet/folding the laundry] first..." and then an hour and a half later, you don't have the energy to do anything else. It's so frustrating to realize that, yes, you just spent an entire hour folding underwear and shirts and pants and towels. One way around it is to break tasks into smaller pieces. I used to clean all of the floors at the same time. Now I just do it bit by bit when I have the time. It doesn't take as long, and I feel like I'm still doing something. It obviously doesn't work with everything, but I've found it to be a bit helpful.

 

Other than that, beats me.

[pie2]

First off Elswyth, you seem like a very interesting person, who is accomplishing a lot in life

 

I've come to learn that people really do what they really want to do. Given your level of accomplishments (applying for grad school, etc. ), I imagine that you really are able to achieve your goals...when you want to.

 

So, I would wonder about getting to the root of the issue. *Why* haven't you unpacked? Is there something stopping you from settling in (uncertainty regarding school, immigration, dislike for area, something else)? *What* may be creating an obstacle to working on your freelance plans (fear of failure, something else)?

 

Like I said, I think you are able to do what you put your mind to. I think you need to get to the emotional/mental roots of why you're not completing certain tasks.

[Els]

I'm the same way, and, yeah, lately it's been hard to get things done. I have some urgent things that take priority, but there's always dishes in the sink, laundry to be done, something to be cleaned, paperwork to be filed/completed/taken care of, finances to manage... And soon I'll be piling a full-time night shift on top of coursework, so...

 

Gosh, that sucks. I have actually made a conscious choice not to do regular part-time work during grad school, because I'm barely keeping on top of everything as it is.

 

Honestly, the only solution I've found to work is to just let some of the minor things go. It drives me nuts when the sink is full of dishes, but if my "productive" time would be better spent researching something or working on something non-urgent but useful, then f--- it, the dishes are staying in the sink, and that's the end of it. Between H and me, it'll eventually get done, so if neither of us wants to spare the time at that moment, then too bad, sink, deal with it.

 

It's a tough balance to strike, though, no? Once when I had exams the dishes piled up for two weeks, and the kitchen literally stank. Now we're in a smaller apartment so it's easier to keep on top of things, but also more essential, because all of our living areas are in one space, so it won't be just the kitchen stinking...

 

Unfortunately if I were to leave it up to 'between the bf and me', no cleaning would ever happen. The bf has an amazing capability to just ignore mess and dirt; I thought I had an amazing capability before I met him, but now I realize that mine just pales in the face of his. I also feel like keeping on top of the housework is the least I can do since he works extremely long hours, and pays our rent and bills.

 

Scheduling can help. It creates a semblance of order amidst the chaos. Although I end up ignoring my chores schedule half the time, it sometimes comes in handy.

 

Yeah, it really ends up being a lot of time. Or at least it certainly feels like it. "But I have to take care of [vacuuming the carpet/folding the laundry] first..." and then an hour and a half later, you don't have the energy to do anything else. It's so frustrating to realize that, yes, you just spent an entire hour folding underwear and shirts and pants and towels. One way around it is to break tasks into smaller pieces. I used to clean all of the floors at the same time. Now I just do it bit by bit when I have the time. It doesn't take as long, and I feel like I'm still doing something. It obviously doesn't work with everything, but I've found it to be a bit helpful.

 

Other than that, beats me.

 

Great advice, thanks. I guess in the end I just need to prioritize. I just wish I had a template to compare against to figure out what I'm doing wrong, how I can do stuff more efficiently, what I'm doing too much of and what I'm doing too little of.

 

First off Elswyth, you seem like a very interesting person, who is accomplishing a lot in life

 

I wish I thought so too, especially the last statement. But thanks, hon. I really appreciate it.

 

I've come to learn that people really do what they really want to do. Given your level of accomplishments (applying for grad school, etc. ), I imagine that you really are able to achieve your goals...when you want to.

 

Oh, yes, I agree with this. I am in grad school at the moment, actually, just started this year's term. Academia is the priority in my life at this time, so I definitely do what needs to be done in that aspect. It's all the OTHER stuff that I can't seem to juggle much.

 

So, I would wonder about getting to the root of the issue. *Why* haven't you unpacked?

 

Because I keep getting distracted by all the other stuff I need or feel I need to do, and that's lower on my priority list. An interesting thing to note is that when we moved out of our last house after 1.5 years, we still had a lot of stuff in boxes. I'm also fairly new to housekeeping. I did live on my own prior to living with the bf, but that was in the college dorms so a lot of stuff was taken care of for me. Now I'm in a position where I have nearly full responsibility for the running of our apartment (for the reasons mentioned in my response to sweetjasmine). If I don't see that our monthly rent is paid, for instance, AND don't check our mail to read any warning notices, we'd get evicted. Scary thought!

 

*What* may be creating an obstacle to working on your freelance plans (fear of failure, something else)?

 

Same deal, being distracted by other more urgent stuff that I need to do. Freelancing is optional, grad school etc isn't.

[Els]

So, my current plans:

 

1) write down EVERYthing that needs to be done including vacuuming etc, not just the important stuff like paying bills or studying. Tick stuff off as I go.

2) assign a block of time for working on my freelance plans everyday. If there is still housework left over, it'll just have to wait for tomorrow (Although the housework can wait, there will probably still be times when I have to let the block go for really important stuff like immigration or studying though. Ugh. Seems like I'm back to square 1....)

Edited February 12, 2013 by Elswyth