she broke up with me and won't reply to me...what now??

[lawboy46]

hello everyone. i dated my ex for 1.5 years. she left me about a month ago. it's the third time in about 4 months that she has broken up with me but in the past we communicated during the breakup and she has come back the first two times. i think we both just weren't clicking like we did in the first half of the relationship in college and were both holding onto the possibility our circumstances would get better out of the fact that we cared for each other and had great chemistry. it was the longest relationship she's ever had and she was definitely the greatest girl i ever met. not to sound cliche, but i felt so much that she made me a better guy and truly completed me. however, our last breakup was not smooth. i was so angry she was dumping me again and yelled on the phone with her about it. we hung up in bad spirits and have not spoken since (about a month). During this month i've sent her two separate text messages. the first toward the beginning of the breakup said "i miss talking to you" and last one a few days ago said "just wanted to say hi. thinkin of ya." i have not heard from her since our breakup and never got a reply to any message sent. dispite our breakups i miss her greatly and wonder if anyone thinks we'll get back together one day in the future and what i could do to help it. whether or not she is a great girl is debatable. what i do know is that she was a great girl for me. please, give me advice. i need hope and honesty.

[Touch_of_Naughtiness]

I think she has moved on and you are the only one that is dwelling in the past. Move on, obviously it did not work out for a reason and she seems to not be missing YOU as much as you miss her. If she does not return your messages that should tell you she is not interested ANYMORE.

[j_nelson]

Hey man...similar thing has happened to me in the past....I just waited it out...I mean, I didnt wait for the girl, I went on dates with other ppl etc., but 5 weeks after no contact (maybe one txt msg from me to her - no response) she called me and wanted to get back together....as hard as it is, work on bettering yourself.....there is always a chance that she can come back, but you can't count on it.

[emra]

You need to let it go. For 1 she is either playing a game with you trying to see what you will do. Or 2. She has decided that she is going to move on. Ask yourself, if you had broken up that many times to begin with, why you would want to be on that roller coaster ride?

I don't know everything that was said in the fight, but maybe it was enough to say forget this.

Dwelling on it only causes more problems and then the resentment start building up. If she wants to talk to you let her call you. If you continue to try contacting her, she may answer because instead of wanting to almost feels forced to, to try to get it to end or out of guilt.

[Velveteel]

She's holding all the cards here. She's probably still punishing you for yelling at her over the phone during the break-up. When she realizes you have really stopped calling her--this may take another six weeks or so--she may come around to see what's going on with you. If you want this reconnection to lead to anything romantic again, you must NOT bring up the break-up or the relationship or any kind of past intimacy. Keep it light, and sound like you've moved on well, and that things are going great. It's especially good to mention some new interest or pursuit of yours. If you seem completely familiar to her--nothing new--you'll be less attractive.

 

If she brings up the break-up or relationship, it means she's either feeling guilty, or is scoping you out, trying to see if you're still in love with her. This doesn't mean she'll want to be with you again, though. You will have to re-seduce her if you want her back. Be funny, kind, but a little unavailable. We all want what we think we can't have.

 

I hope it works. If it doesn't, at least you have sweet memories. That will help in your next relationship.