The alpha/beta male debate.

[SJC2008]

Many people lump men into these two categories. You're either an alpha or a beta. I think the term alpha male is misused. I think when someone says alpha male they're reffering to some bad ass who's ready to start boxing at the first sign of trouble, walks like a ufc fighter and doesn't give an eff about anyone or anything.

 

I know I'm not an alpha but I'm sure as hell not a beta. I've had arguments with bosses and coworkers. I even shouted at a boss in the parking lot. Now these "events" are few and far between, trust me. My point is that I'm a VERY VERY laid back person, I do not seek confrontation at all but if you corner me and push my buttons I will bite back.

 

I'm using myself as an example becaue it's a good one that you can't lump men into these two categories. In on of Chris Rock's stand up routines he had a bit where he said we're a nation of "in the middle". There's a couple of smart kids in the class, a couple of dumb ones, and everyone else is in the middle. I think most men lay between the alpha and beta male, like me. Most men will not seek confrontation, but will stand up for themselves. Some men do seek confrontation and are looking for trouble and some men are spineless but for the most part, we're "in the middle".

 

So what is a true alpha male given that the term is often misused? What is a true beta male?

Edited February 11, 2013 by SJC2008
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[SJC2008]

Wolves are separated into alpha, beta, and omega. If you are going to do this then do it right.

 

Don't just say do it right and leave it there, give some feedback! What's an omega?

[316]

I agree 100% OP.

 

It's the same reason why there is no such thing as simply "good and evil." There's always some in between. I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle but leaning towards the alpha side. I'm a sensitive guy that cares about people but I've learned these past few months that I don't take crap from anyone, and that includes girlfriends and my own father.

 

I'd describe a "true" beta male as a guy that lacks confidence, never takes charge, doesn't stand up for himself, and is extremely self deprecating.

[Woggle]

I don't believe in putting people in boxes like that.

[Quiet Storm]

Alpha men are natural leaders.

 

They always have a plan.

[SteveC80]

I think these labels are stupid but refer to the thread about how women get annoyed by guys who dont make the plans and lead the women..women want a dominant man whos agressive and the superior in the relationship..

[SJC2008]

I think these labels are stupid but refer to the thread about how women get annoyed by guys who dont make the plans and lead the women..women want a dominant man whos agressive and the superior in the relationship..

 

What do you think leading, dominant and agressive is? I make date plans but I wouldn't call that any of those three things.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I think these labels are stupid but refer to the thread about how women get annoyed by guys who dont make the plans and lead the women..women want a dominant man whos agressive and the superior in the relationship..

 

I don't consider a man who plans the dates an aggressive or dominant male. I consider him a thoughtful one.

[animalover]

Keep in mind the whole "Alpha/Beta Male" concept is only that - a concept (used to sell books and DVDs). It is certainly not a proven phenomina. I dont feel like its well defined as a theory, nor do I think its possible to group all of man-kind into 2 categories (other than left or right handed. even then you have amidextry). Basically I find it to be a load of crap. I think its all a load of crap and men should just focus on building real connections with women, trying to understand them as individuals as they come along, both as friends and romantic interest.

 

No, it is not just a concept, it is a very well studied and documented theory about animal world roles and hierarchy... what is silly is to apply that concept to human beings.., animals react to instincts while people (at least some people) use something called intelligence... that makes it a totally new game....

[SJC2008]

I don't consider a man who plans the dates an aggressive or dominant male. I consider him a thoughtful one.

 

I don't want to act "better" or for that matter be better than her. I'm all about balance. I like to plan dates and things but I like a woman to come up with ideas too; For me that shows interest and has a teamwork aspect to it. I never really understood the whole women want to be dominated thing?? People who say that don't give much context when they say it, they just say it. What does it mean to dominate a woman anyway? Call ALL the shots? Be "It's my way or the highway" with her?

[darkmoon]

alpha men can be bossy, sorry, but i don't find that to be nice

[miss_jaclynrae]

I don't want to act "better" or for that matter be better than her. I'm all about balance. I like to plan dates and things but I like a woman to come up with ideas too; For me that shows interest and has a teamwork aspect to it. I never really understood the whole women want to be dominated thing?? People who say that don't give much context when they say it, they just say it. What does it mean to dominate a woman anyway? Call ALL the shots? Be "It's my way or the highway" with her?

 

People are mis-understanding my point as well as I believe most womens. In the BEGINNING [i am talking first date definitely and possibly the second and third] it is a big sign as to the seriousness and confidence of a man to be able to plan a date. I don't want to be dominated or have a man call all the shots. I want him to be able to show he can make a concrete decision and listen to what he has gathered about me, and do his best to plan a night for ME.

 

I am all for both coming up with dates AFTER the initial starting process, but especially on the first date... ask me out? Plan the date.

[ltjg45]

So what is a true alpha male given that the term is often misused? What is a true beta male?

 

An alpha male is one who is in full command and can shape society as a whole if he wanted to.

 

He is insanely sexy, girls around him would fight for him, he has a good amount of cash, no debts of any kind, Uncle Sam loves him when tax time comes around, has a house, has a car, has compassion, has confidence, he's the boss, demands respect, etc etc.

 

If you are looking for the most perfect male, find an alpha male. See how many other males hates his guts just due to his presence and how many females would daydream about banging him in the office closet.

 

There is only a handful of alpha males. Every other male is beta.

[kaylan]

There is no "true" anything. People are complex and unique. The only reason regular folks (hardly regular) started using these terms to describe men, and even describe some women, is because of idiots in the seduction community who buy into a lot of evo psych garbage. Humans arent like wild animals.

[SJC2008]

People are mis-understanding my point as well as I believe most womens. In the BEGINNING [i am talking first date definitely and possibly the second and third] it is a big sign as to the seriousness and confidence of a man to be able to plan a date. I don't want to be dominated or have a man call all the shots. I want him to be able to show he can make a concrete decision and listen to what he has gathered about me, and do his best to plan a night for ME.

 

I am all for both coming up with dates AFTER the initial starting process, but especially on the first date... ask me out? Plan the date.

 

I meant to quote stevec80 about the dominat/agressive. I agree with you 100%. I expect to plan the first few dates and like to. I just like women who can throw thier hat into the ring once the ball gets rolling.

[fortyninethousand322]

Alpha male is a man who has no hard time getting dates or girlfriends. He's has an easy enough time that his main problem is finding the right girl.

 

Beta male is a guy who has a hard time getting dates. He doesn't have the luxury of finding the right girl.

[sid3]

An alpha male is one who is in full command and can shape society as a whole if he wanted to.

 

He is insanely sexy, girls around him would fight for him, he has a good amount of cash, no debts of any kind, Uncle Sam loves him when tax time comes around, has a house, has a car, has compassion, has confidence, he's the boss, demands respect, etc etc.

 

If you are looking for the most perfect male, find an alpha male. See how many other males hates his guts just due to his presence and how many females would daydream about banging him in the office closet.

 

There is only a handful of alpha males. Every other male is beta.

 

This has to be one of the dumbest posts I've ever seen, congratulations.

[CptSaveAho]

Alpha male is a man who has no hard time getting dates or girlfriends. He's has an easy enough time that his main problem is finding the right girl.

 

True ****ing story....

Edited February 11, 2013 by CptSaveAho

[todreaminblue]

Many people lump men into these two categories. You're either an alpha or a beta. I think the term alpha male is misused. I think when someone says alpha male they're reffering to some bad ass who's ready to start boxing at the first sign of trouble, walks like a ufc fighter and doesn't give an eff about anyone or anything.

 

I know I'm not an alpha but I'm sure as hell not a beta. I've had arguments with bosses and coworkers. I even shouted at a boss in the parking lot. Now these "events" are few and far between, trust me. My point is that I'm a VERY VERY laid back person, I do not seek confrontation at all but if you corner me and push my buttons I will bite back.

 

I'm using myself as an example becaue it's a good one that you can't lump men into these two categories. In on of Chris Rock's stand up routines he had a bit where he said we're a nation of "in the middle". There's a couple of smart kids in the class, a couple of dumb ones, and everyone else is in the middle. I think most men lay between the alpha and beta male, like me. Most men will not seek confrontation, but will stand up for themselves. Some men do seek confrontation and are looking for trouble and some men are spineless but for the most part, we're "in the middle".

 

So what is a true alpha male given that the term is often misused? What is a true beta male?

 

 

i think there is an alpha male/ beta male fusion thing that goes on.......i think most men are this way,they can lead but they arent overly aggressive they are calm in crisis, reliable but not push overs, loving but not door mats,kind but not a lackey expressive but not whiney...loves kids...not shy just quiet and calm ....inner core strength not brute strength...thats an alpha beta fusion..i.want one...no, i need one of those... ...i have been confused in the past and true alpha males go for me agressively tell me what i wan tto hear and hide traits i find undesirable in a partner.......i have had to step up in that respect and become an alpha female....tired of doing that..i just want to be myself and not have to worry about changing to suit someone else..i dont want to have to lead all the time i do need a man to step up, and ill pick up the slack happily...i have learnt by mistakes....

[fortyninethousand322]

True ****ing story....

 

My hearts weeps for you.

[CptSaveAho]

My hearts weeps for you.

 

I can dumpster dive any day of the week and find a meal but I want surf and turf

[ltjg45]

This has to be one of the dumbest posts I've ever seen, congratulations.

 

What?

 

You don't have females begging for your attention?

 

After all, don't be fooled though. If you are not an alpha male, you have to fight for whatever you can get, provided you can even access it to begin with.

[yongyong]

It depends on where you are and whom you meet.

 

I am an average fit guy in my gym but I felt muscular when I went to yoga class standing next to skinny guys. does it make me a buff guy? maybe at the moment...

 

I like classy, feminine girls. Girls who will rather cry than fight with a guy

(you've seen ghetto girls who will not only swear at guy but throw fist at him)

For those girls, I will appear as Alpha. For girls who dealt with many guys and have strong man character, I will appear as Beta.

[Thieves]

Honestly? As a woman, every time I hear the words 'alpha' and 'beta' used in reference to 'game' or men's behavior, I can't truly take what is being said seriously and kind of want to laugh. Sometimes it sounds too 'put on', and trying too hard to simplify men into two quite limited, black-and-white categories.

 

And not only that, and more bluntly to the point, those two words more often than not seem like (to me personally) complete and utter bullsh*t because of that black-and-white quality of them. I try my hardest to see the view of the person using the terms in certain threads and give them a fair go, but in the back of my mind I can't help but wonder if the person using those terms is actually serious about what they're talking about, or if they know an agreeable amount about the topic. Hearing a person say things such as, "Women like alpha men", "Be more alpha", or even "Stop showing beta-like behavior" smells of arrogance and inauthenticity. It's like women using the word "diva", or "queen". It makes me want to roll my eyes. "Act like a diva -- be a queen, not a pushover." I have to wonder how men would react if they saw that kind of thing in a thread started by a woman.

 

It's something I rarely hear women say ("alpha" and "beta" that is), thank goodness. "Alpha" generally gives the sense of a person -- man or woman -- being confident, in control, and collected. Okay, then use those type of terms. "Beta" generally gives the image of someone who is somewhat more submissive, less straightforward about their needs/wants, and less confident. Okay, same thing. And maybe it's not the words themselves in the end, but more that people tend to put so much stock into building up these words that it starts to come off as annoying. Like the person needs to attempt to live up to a certain 'word' and its image than to actually live up to their own potential as an individual. It thrives very much on putting people into hierarchical either/or categories, which in the end just becomes another way for people to ridicule one another. We have enough of that in society already. That's what I don't like about it.

[todreaminblue]

Honestly? As a woman, every time I hear the words 'alpha' and 'beta' used in reference to 'game' or men's behavior, I can't truly take what is being said seriously and kind of want to laugh. Sometimes it sounds too 'put on', and trying too hard to simplify men into two quite limited, black-and-white categories.

 

And not only that, and more bluntly to the point, those two words more often than not seem like (to me personally) complete and utter bullsh*t because of that black-and-white quality of them. I try my hardest to see the view of the person using the terms in certain threads and give them a fair go, but in the back of my mind I can't help but wonder if the person using those terms is actually serious about what they're talking about, or if they know an agreeable amount about the topic. Hearing a person say things such as, "Women like alpha men", "Be more alpha", or even "Stop showing beta-like behavior" smells of arrogance and inauthenticity. It's like women using the word "diva", or "queen". It makes me want to roll my eyes. "Act like a diva -- be a queen, not a pushover." I have to wonder how men would react if they saw that kind of thing in a thread started by a woman.

 

It's something I rarely hear women say ("alpha" and "beta" that is), thank goodness. "Alpha" generally gives the sense of a person -- man or woman -- being confident, in control, and collected. Okay, then use those type of terms. "Beta" generally gives the image of someone who is somewhat more submissive, less straightforward about their needs/wants, and less confident. Okay, same thing. And maybe it's not the words themselves in the end, but more that people tend to put so much stock into building up these words that it starts to come off as annoying. Like the person needs to attempt to live up to a certain 'word' and its image than to actually live up to their own potential as an individual. It thrives very much on putting people into hierarchical either/or categories, which in the end just becomes another way for people to ridicule one another. We have enough of that in society already. That's what I don't like about it.

 

 

i see your point......labels suck at any time or place....everyone uses them ......deb