How can I just stop caring

[ugglover2012]

About a year and half ago my daughter was diagnosed with aspergers. We have struggled with her since she was a baby and not understanding her. When we looked back to her birth my husband remembered the dr saying she looked/acted autistic. Of course I didn't want to believe it so that went in one ear and out the other and forgotten until her aspergers diagnosis. She was very emotionally draining for 12 years and once we figured out the problem it has been easier to manage her. But, after this I have become distant with everyone around me. I haven't spoken to my mother for a year and a half and I used to be super close to her and talked almost everyday, we were like bff's. I have become unemotional to so many things. I don't even feel love for my husband. I love my dog and my two kids but that is all. I am just plain empty to everyone and everything else. I have been so full of love for everyone and now I'm empty. How can I just stop caring? If I get annoyed with someone or something I get rid of it and don't fight to keep it b/c it's an annoyance not worth keeping or fixing. I am thinking I need to talk to a therapist to figure out what is wrong with me. It has been a tough time. I did however have a strong connection with someone I met last year and developed strong feelings for him. I never would have cheated on my husband but I don't know why I felt so strongly for this person. I can't imagine living my life this way forever. It's not fair to those around me who do care. I am thinking I am just emotionally tapped out.

[stevie_23]

It sounds as if you are indeed emotionally spent. You have been giving all your emotional energy to your situation with your daughter for so many years, you simply don’t have enough to give to any other people or situations.

 

As your daughter gets older, I’m not sure it’ll become any easier or if there will be less demands on your time and energy, but I do hope this will be the case somehow.

 

In terms of your husband, does he help out with things? Do you feel he puts in a lot of effort too, even if it’s in a different way to how you do things? Do you feel any underlying resentment towards him that could be blocking your ability to feel close to him? Do you feel like it is you alone against the world and that you alone have to cope and deal with these situations that drain your energy, or do you feel that you and him are “in it together” as a bonded unit? (I assume it may be the first option, although I may be wrong).

 

Do you feel guilty for not feeling you are able to care about people and things you used to care about? (if so, there is no need for this, but I’d understand if you do. This is just an extra emotional strain on you though and it won’t help.)

 

I think seeing a therapist would be excellent, if you can. They will hopefully be able to give you insight into how best to view your situation and your feelings so you can maybe try to change your outlook, even if you can’t change the actual situation you’re in.

 

Good luck.