peanut29 Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 I need some advice on how to get over and old friend (and new enemy!)..... Here's my story: I had the same best friend sinse my freshman year of high school, her name is Mona. We were really close and had been through a lot of different things together. I always noticed some other people tended to stear away from her and my family always told me the "bad vibes" they got from her. None the less, I still chose to be her friend because I believed she was a good person. She had an older brother that I eventually started to date and have a serious relationship with (that i'm still in). It was never a problem and by the time we got to be seniors in high school we drifted apart a little bit on different live paths, her choosing the drug route. We had a lot of differences at that point but some similarities and managed to stay close. After we graduated high school (two years ago) she really fell off track with the drugs, lying, stealing and cheating that we eventually stopped talking. We never hated each other, just had differences. For the summer she decided maybe she should get out of her bad lifestyle and went to Florida for 3 months. While she was down there this other girl that we both knew from back home also moved to Florida. She ended up meeting her cousin, Gabe and getting into a relationship with him. After 2 months of dating they decided to move back to New Jersey (home) together. When she moved back up she quit all the drugs and we were really close friends again. It was nice because her brother and I are in a serious relationship and her and I were friends again, just like old times. I had even gotten her a job where I work to help her out. Well then there started to be problems. She and Gabe spilt up and he moved back to Florida. She started to hang out with all her old friends and to use again. We still talked every day because we worked together. But eventually we got into a fight and havent talked in 5 months. It usually would be easy for me to deal with a problem like this, just to ignore her. But I cant ignore her, she's my boyfriend's little sister and also a co-worker. So it seems no matter where I turn, she's there. It annoys me because it just reminds me every day how much I hate her, because I do really hate her. The way she lives her life, how wreckless and careless she is for other people's feelings. And I cant ever seem to get away from her, she sits right next to me at work, and then when I leave work her and her boyfriend live in the same house. So when I spend time there, she's there. She also recently started dating my boyfriend (her brothers) best friend. He was mad about it for awhile and didnt talk to them for some time, but now he seems to be getting over it and accepting it more. She's implanted herself in my life and I cant think of a way to get her out. You cant just wish somebody off the face of the earth..... I hate to dwell on it and I hope there is somebody out there who can offer me some sort of advice on how not to think about how much I hate her everyday, how to deal with it and accept it and move on with that part of my life. so please, HELP! - Tara Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 You don't have to love her and hug her to death, but you are going to have to put up with her being in your life somewhat, especially if you and your bf ever get married. You don't have to be friends with her, but at least make an attempt to be polite to her when you two see eachother. You'll hate to do it, and you probably won't like a lot of things she does, but try to do it for your boyfriend's sake. Just ask how she's doing, don't discuss anything personal or anything that caused arguments between you two. Try to be the better person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author peanut29 Posted August 30, 2004 Author Share Posted August 30, 2004 I know, that would be the obvious thing for me to do, and dont get me wrong, i would... but the problem is she just makes it too hard. She's made it clear to me that she doesnt want to talk to me, not even a simple "hey, whats up"... she totally doesnt want me to be a part of her life. She even went as far as trying to sabotage my relationship with my boyfriend by making up stories that I cheated on him and I'm always talking to different guys. In the beginning I thought it wouldnt be so hard to ignore her, but she acts like she's 2 1/2 years old. Sometimes I feel like I have to watch my back because I dont know when she's going to "strike next" and I dont enjoy that, I dont enjoy being paranoid. One time she even put vaseline under my door handles so when I opened my car door my hands got all sticky. Those are the types of things I have to deal with. Thats why I hate her. I dont want to be nice to her, I dont want to go out of my way for her... I just want to come to terms with the fact that her and I co-exist on the same planet, in the same work place, in the same household on a daily basis. Like I said, it's been over six months and I still havent been able to do that, so I'm starting to wonder if it's ever going to happen for me.... I hope it will. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 You are just going to have to co-exist with her. She sounds like an utter b*tch, put try to deal with it as best you can. If the residence is solely your bf's house, he needs to give her notice to move out within two months, and make sure she gets out by that time. If it's not his home, and you both are adults, try to save up money and move out on your own. Ignore her or put on a fake friendly act. Don't argue with her or let her see you get upset--this is probably what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
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