No freedom from parents, i want to be independent

[Katriunrod]

Hi guys. Im a female 20 will be 21 in a month. Let me start of by saying that i already have an associates degree and graduated from hs and college with honors all semesters i made it to the dean's list. Now im ending my bachelors for which i will be graduating in may. I know i live under my parents roof and have abide by their rules but it is to much of rules. I have my own job which i make around 1400 monthly pay for my transportation and anything i need. By the end of this year i should be starting a career in law enforcement. I know its hard to believe but i have a lot of friend but dont go out at all this was until i had my first bf last December and he took me out on dates which had to be reduced to a weekend yes and a weekend no dates because my parents said i was going out to much ( note that im a full time worker and a student which only went out for two months) recently my boyfriend just broke up with me and my step dad came with the conclusion that it was because my mom allowed me to go out to much with him (twice a month) and this led my bf to think i was easy. What got me really mad is that my mom stood there and said nothing to defend me like he was right knowing that all my life i have been at home helping with shore and never went out even to the movies. So the thing is i would like your opinion about this situation. Im also planning to move out probably by next year because since i will have that type of job it's time for me to move on. Help!,,

[turnera]

Your mother and stepfather are dysfunctional and harmful.

 

Advertise at your college for a roommate. GET a roommate. MOVE out. And start the life you need to live.

[Sugarkane]

The problem is the cost of living on campus is expensive.

Edited March 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[pink_sugar]

The problem is the cost of living on campus is expensive.

 

I prefer to live off campus, but I think students (especially in my area where it's extremely expensive to live) need additional accommodation if they opt to live on their own while in college. Usually living on campus is just as much, if not more expensive than renting an apartment.

Edited March 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Nyla]

FYI, I lived on $1000 a month in the most expensive city in Canada.

 

I knew that the alternative was living in an abusive home, so I made it work.

Edited March 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[turnera]

I prefer to live off campus, but I think students (especially in my area where it's extremely expensive to live) need additional accommodation if they opt to live on their own while in college. Usually living on campus is just as much, if not more expensive than renting an apartment.

That's why most colleges have tons of houses surrounding them whose owners rent out rooms to students.

[Keenly]

You are allowing your parents to conduct this controlling behavior. You are not standing up for yourself. Your bf left you because he saw you will put your parents first before your relationship... if you make 1400 a month why haven't you moved out yet.

[Nyla]

I can understand feeling fearful of being poor, but think of how much happier you'll be without your parents controlling you.

 

I know a woman who is 27 and still lives at home, because her "standard of living" would go down and she couldn't buy what she wanted. This girl complains that her parents treat her like a child. I told her that she is spoiled.

 

When I lived alone before I found a decent job, I wore second hand clothes and rarely went out. However, I made good use of the public library and the internet cafes which cost $2.00 an hour.

 

My confidence rose because I did what everyone said I could not and that was live alone. My furniture either came with the rented rooms or I bought things on layaway and paid slowly. I'll always remember the pride of buying my first bed on my own; it was a futon with wooden armrests. I also shopped at discount grocery stores to feed myself.

[turnera]

When I graduated high school, my mom sold our house and moved away. The same week!

 

I had to get an apartment, keep paying on the car I'd already bought, and change to full time work and shift plans to go to night school for college. I had a budget of $30/month for food, and I counted out every penny. I allowed myself to eat out one time a week. Anything else, I bought at garage sales and resale shops. That was the best time of my life.