BondiGirl Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I have documented in other threads about my A with MM. I am a MW and after a lot of soul searching decided to go NC and rebuild my marriage. I was taking it one day at a time until the MM emailed me and basically said he needs me. He can't leave his W or family, feels guilty but basically wants his cake an eat it. Since our A started he has become impotent and we only had sex once which was a disaster. It's much more of an EA. However this curve ball has rattled me. I want to forget about him but I am being drawn like a moth to the flame. He doesn't want to (or can't) have sex with me but to basically do everything else but. Before everyone gets up in arms I am merely putting out what has been going on. I am not entertaining this at all. He also told me that I was not the normal type if girl he went for but he is smitten. Can I please have some positive feedback on this? I haven't mentioned my H in this thread but we are working out our issues. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Why have you still left an opening for your MM to be able to contact you....? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 You can only rebuild your marriage based on a foundation of trust and honestly so you need to tell your husband he has reached out to you again. I am assuming you have been honest with your husband about the original affair. Has your husband cheated on you? If not how would you feel if he was doing to you what you have been doing to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 You're rebuilding your marriage by still talking to your lover? Weird marriage building strategy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sunbeach200 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) It pains me to read your thread. My BF cheated on me in July and I have suffered and still suffer from immense pain because of his cheating.We have reconciled and goin through the process of rebuilding the trust etc. But God is it diffecult! Soemtimes I question whether its just best to have a fresh start with someone else. But If i knew he was still secretly in contact with the OW I would end the relationship. Enough is enough. Thats really taking the pviss! I have not read your other threads but why are you still in contact with him? And you are drawn to him like moth to a flame? Cant you see you both are just after excitement? Does it mean that much to you? You sound like a serial cheater. If you geniuenely want to save your marriage then you need to let your husband know that you have been in contact with him. Be open and honest immediately. Share this with him and dont hide it. You know how this other man makes you feel. This is dangerous. Good luck cause you need it. Personally your H deserves better Edited February 13, 2013 by sunbeach200 Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I am probably a jerk for asking this but: Your OM couldt get him up with you, because he says you are not his type (= he doesnt find you attractive enough) and now you want to build on your marraige? This is never going to work if your H has only 10% of zelfrespect. If you want to reconcile you need to become totaly honest and here is a little problem: TS: hey H, I cheated... but i regret and want to work on my and our issues. H: what happend TS: Eh, well I had en EA and started an PA for x months but OM couldn't get him up because i not his type of girl. h: Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 That's some hard work and effort you're putting into your marriage. I know you're looking for some positive feedback, but do you realize how much of an idiot you sound like writing in your post that you are "working" on your marriage while maintaining contact with this clown??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I can see whats going on here, and with your husband in this thread, I'd like to hear from him. H, do you realize that she doesn't want to be with the OM any longer because he simply can't get it up that well? Do you think if he didn't have an impotency problem that she'd have gone NC with him? If she has feelings for him, which she obviously does, then a reason for NC is that she can't seal those feelings with sex any longer. If you don't think any of that is true, ok. How about this. Why isn't she telling the OM to F off and to not contact her again? Or, H, are you really even watching this thread? Something doesn't jive. Link to post Share on other sites
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