Relationship Jealousy

[LD1]

Hi everyone, looking for some much needed advice!! Im a young looking & in mind 45yr old female. Ive never had kids as I wouldn't be able to cope & never met anyone nice enough! Was sort of married to an Arab man, (religious ceremony), he was extremely unfaithful & had a very unhealthy obsession with sex & females. It seemed a control thing & possibly a mental health problem.... Cut a very long story short, I met a lovely man on a date site a few months back. Hes the same culture, from the East End of London-we have certain rules that we live by.. I did think he was somewhat softer than me but I thought that was a good thing as I need to slow down & quieten down a bit... He is 47yrs of age & has never left home. He lives with his 48yr old brother, his mother & his 39yr old sister who is in a wheelchair due to her spinal cord being snaped by a drunk jumping from a balcony in a nightclub & landing on her head. Her injury is quite bad, she has very slight movement in her arms & hands but cannot feed herself or clean herself etc!!! She won a multi million pound payout & has two private carers, has bought the flat next door to the family home outright but doesn't live there. She usually sends her main carer home around 3pm as the carer gets on her nerves-I suppose having the same person around you day in & day out would bore you!!! Although I was very on & off with my ex sort of husband & didn't commit to having my name on a mortgage I did leave home. My ex boyfriends brother never has & all my ex boyfriend has done is live at max four days a week at his ex girlfriends house, she apparently grew tired of him putting his sister first.. When I met him I knew he was a genuine nice man. We fell in love very quickly & wanted to settle down together. I kept feeling shaky & telling him I wasn't sure if I wanted a serious relationship, which was due to his ties to his sister & my jealousy when I fall in love. I often reduced him to tears ending it & he said I was miss perfect & he wanted to fight for the relationship... His disabled sister doesnt want an automatic wheelchair & he doesnt want her to either because they feel she will walk again & by having one she will be giving up. So her brothers are basically her carers even though she has private ones. She wants family to care for her & doesnt want a stranger moving in 24/7 to care for her. Is this selfish of her? My ex posts updates on facebook how beautiful his sister is & that she gets more beautiful every day. Although he probably does it to boost her confidence as shes disabled I think its weird? Am I right to feel this way? She regularly has a blocked cathether & they all go up the hospital for the night. Is this over the top? I recently lost my temper & told her & him what I think of her he has now left me. What shall I do? Please help? I admit I got jealous & controlling because I feared id lose him to his family or another woman!