should I give him another chance?

[captan]

A while ago I started seeing this guy. We ended up just deciding to be friends. We still hand out, though not as much, and things are pretty good. There are no harsh feelings on either side.

 

Yesterday I went over to his place to hang out for a few hours. He was acting really flirty all evening, and even bought a bottle of wine for us to drink. I just thought he was being silly or whatever. All of a sudden he leans in to kiss me. I turned him away, asking what he was doing. He said, "Why not?" And I was like, "you know why!" Anyway, we started talking about how things were going between us. He told me he wants to start over and try to make it work this time. He was being really sweet but I have my doubts about his sincerity.

 

I don't think I have the same feelings for him as he does for me. Should I try it with him again and see how it works or should I just end it now?

 

He told me that he can't stop thinking about me and ever since we decided to be friends he keeps comparing other girls to me! He said he's changed and that if I would just give him another shot, I wouldn't regret it.

 

That all sounds nice but I don't think it would work. I'm looking for someone different. He's a great friend to me and I'd like to keep it that way. Maybe I should just tell him that...?

[Ed]

You're going to have to supply a little more info.

 

How serious did the relationship get before "we ended up just deciding to be friends"?

 

What happened that led up to the downgrade of the relationship?

 

From what you've said, it sounds like he is trying to make up for something he did or did not do (no flowers?). And I don't think he wanted to "just be friends" from the beginning.

[Tony T]

Go with your feelings. You aren't excited about the prospects of dating him. He isn't quite the type you want for a romantic interest. Don't screw up the friendship, tell him you'll pass.

 

It sounds like the two of you have a pretty nice friendship. However, it also sounds like he is developing feelings for you that you would be uncomfortable with. You may need to back off the friendship a bit for a while until he has a chance to turn his romantic attentions in another direction.

 

If you continue your friendship with him just as it is now, these feelings he has will not stop overnight. You'll have to assist in the situation. How all this plays out really depends on his maturity. It sounds like you know exactly what you want...good for you!!!

 

Hey, though, you just never know about things. You might wake up one morning six months from now and think he's your knight in shining armour. Isn't love a bxtch???

[Deejette]

If you wrote, "I was so happy when he tried to kiss me because I was having second thoughts about our break-up and I really wanted to get close to him as a lover," then I would say, go with it, get back together again.

 

But your reluctant tone makes me think that you don't really want that from him and are mostly worried about ruining the friendship and hurting his feelings when you turn him down.

 

If you get involved romantically with this guy just to be nice to him, you are sidetracking yourself from finding someone who meets your requirements more closely than this one does.

Go with your feelings. You aren't excited about the prospects of dating him. He isn't quite the type you want for a romantic interest. Don't screw up the friendship, tell him you'll pass.

 

It sounds like the two of you have a pretty nice friendship. However, it also sounds like he is developing feelings for you that you would be uncomfortable with. You may need to back off the friendship a bit for a while until he has a chance to turn his romantic attentions in another direction. If you continue your friendship with him just as it is now, these feelings he has will not stop overnight. You'll have to assist in the situation. How all this plays out really depends on his maturity. It sounds like you know exactly what you want...good for you!!! Hey, though, you just never know about things. You might wake up one morning six months from now and think he's your knight in shining armour. Isn't love a bxtch???