I have a feeling something is wrong, maybe she is cheating ?

[thesaka24]

Please read all, and thanks to all good people that help

 

So...

My gf always comes to my house, then we go to my room and we kiss,cuddle, smile, talk , we tell each other how much we love each other and we do all that with such burning passion that its just crazy.And I mean, its crazyyyy

I just feel so complete at that moment.

But tonight, when she came, we kissed, cuddled but it was not even close to that burning passion, her kisses were weak, she almost didn't even cuddle, she didn't even say "I love you".But thats not strange part.

The strange part is when I asked her is there anything she wants to tell me, and I asked , are you hiding something, because I feel something is not right, is there other guy, its better if you tell me, instead of me finding myself about it.

She swore that everything is OK, and she kept until I dropped the subject,but then, yea THEN, she started saying stuff like "I love you" "you are my everything" ... and, yea and, she started cuddling more, and she started kissing me on neck, mouth...

Funny dont you think ?

Then I asked her to tell me how her day was at school since she is in high school, and I am too, so she told me she had this argument with girl, and more stuff, but she didnt mention any guy, and I asked "you didnt even mention any guy, why?" and then, yes again, then she told me "yea there was this guy he made me smile ,a and some guys from my class were singing, bla bla" and she changed the subject.

So I noticed it and I dropped the subject myself...

Clearly she is hiding something.

 

My gut is just telling me there is something wrong in here...

And to add up to all that , she is pretties girl in her class, and if not in top 5 in school , but my point is that lots of guys were hitting on her before, now all of them that know she has boyfriend stopped but those who don't know are still hitting on her.

 

Any suggestions , what should I do ? I know I will feel pain if we break up, but I am not afraid of that pain at all so if the thinks she can pull my nose or something, I wont sit back and let it happen, I will break up, just to clear that up.

Love is one thing, but making fool of someone is totally different level.

Edited February 13, 2013 by thesaka24

[pteromom]

The only thing "wrong" here is that when she is having an "off" day and isn't feeling passionate, your mind automatically goes to "she must be cheating".

 

As you get older and your relationships get more serious, you'll notice there are times when there is NO passion or interest in kissing or being romantic. This is normal. Make decisions on whether to continue a relationship based on the big picture, not on "off" days or even "off" weeks.

[thesaka24]

@pteromom

You could be right.

I hope you are, but its my gut, not my head or my conclusions, my gut is telling me that and, I dont wanna be cocky, but it was never wrong before.

Look, when we were just getting to know each other, me and my today GF, I was with other girl, now my ex, and she said, lets call my today GF a Anna and my ex Mia, not their real names , just as an example, so while I was with Mia, I was only getting to know Anna, I didnt like her.

And then I felt ,after some time, my gut again, I felt that Anna is falling in love with me, so I asked her, she said, no, but I knew she is lying, and then she said, well yes maybe a little, but just a little...and i said, nah you really fell in love with me , but she said no, just a little.And then next day, boom, a message from her, saying, yea you were right I did fall in love with you more than what I said.

[pteromom]

@pteromom

You could be right.

I hope you are, but its my gut, not my head or my conclusions, my gut is telling me that and, I dont wanna be cocky, but it was never wrong before.

 

Yeah, but your "gut" can be wrong too. Sometimes what we call "gut" is really our own fears and insecurities.

 

She is acting stand-offish, which causes an internal panic reaction (Is she cheating?! Does she no longer want me?! Why won't she kiss me?! The passion is GONE!!!! She's going to leave me!) and instead of realizing that the panic is based on nothing but your own fears, you say "My gut is telling me something".

 

From what you've shared here, I see nothing that would indicate to me that she is cheating. If you have more evidence, feel free to share it.

[thesaka24]

You probably right

It is possible I am afraid of losing her, since last night I had this nightmare of us breaking up.

 

Can anyone give me advice how to shake this feeling off ?

[pteromom]

You gotta let go of the need to control everything. It's one of the hardest aspects of love, no doubt.

 

Either she's trustworthy or she isn't. If she's not, you are better off without her anyway.

[Xinreeki]

You gotta let go of the need to control everything. It's one of the hardest aspects of love, no doubt.

 

Either she's trustworthy or she isn't. If she's not, you are better off without her anyway.

 

I agree but I'd add - if it turns out she IS trustworthy, was just having an off day, and you really love each other, then you are better off together and bringing up things like this will likely drive a wedge between you.

 

However, if you're worried that you might not be on the same page in the relationship, I suggest you try telling her how you feel. NOT by accusing her of cheating or by telling her how insecure you've been feeling, but by showing her how much you love her and by telling her how much she means to you. That way at least she'll know how serious you are about things.

Edited February 14, 2013 by Xinreeki

[thesaka24]

But what if it turns out that my gut was right ? Thats whats making me worry the most

 

But listen to this now, how would you deal with.......

Heres a story, I'm not making this up

 

So she was shy kinda, she is afraid to approach other boys, and I know she was afraid even more before, because she was bad kisser, but now I showed her how to kiss and now she is kissing unbelievably good, she is amazing now.

So I think she was afraid because some of other guys could make fun of her and then she would feel bad, but now when she knows how to kiss good, she isn't afraid that much anymore, and also I can see she is gaining confidence, so that would make her think "oh well I can have better guy now, I know how to kiss, I'm beautiful..."

 

Thats what scares me the most, that she will get "greedy". That she will want better guy, who is prettier than me and maybe stronger, bigger, idk...

I dont wanna act cocky or something but I'm not bad looking at all, in fact I'm prettier that most of the guys in school....but still ...

 

Am I tripping ? I think I'm to afraid to lose her to competition I guess

[thesaka24]

What would you do? How would you control yourself, I know I cant control her so thats OK, I get that, but how would you deal with this situation ?

[pteromom]

What would you do? How would you control yourself, I know I cant control her so thats OK, I get that, but how would you deal with this situation ?

 

Take things one day at a time and always make the best decision based on the information you have.

 

Is it possible that she'll gain confidence and move on to something "better"? Maybe. But at the same time, would you REALLY want to be with someone because they think you are the best they can do? That's kinda pathetic.

 

Give it your all. Be open to love. Be honest. When something comes up, communicate. That's all you can do. You only have control over your half of the relationship, and it is entirely possible she will do something completely unexpected.

 

But if she does, and she ends up being a cheater or a runner, you'll be better off without her anyway. I know that's hard to imagine when you have something very special with someone, but it's true.

 

I think that when your imagination starts running away on you, and you start worrying about all the "what if"s, you have to focus on bringing yourself back to reality and dealing with the facts in front of you. Always stay in the present, and don't let your mind fly off into scary possibilities.

[thesaka24]

Dude I dont know what to say, you have the best answers and you are right, I can see it now.

 

I, I cant tell you how grateful I am to you Peace and love dude

 

And I got that sh*t out of my head, the one where she is cheating and the gut feeling, and I said to myself "I swear to myself I will be ok whatever happens and will love her 'till she says she doesn't love me anymore"

 

So I'm just going to go with the flow and won't make any conclusions unless I see it with my very own eyes

[pteromom]

Sounds like a smart plan. No problem, dude.