pedwin Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 Hi Everyone!!! I've missed you!!! It has been a busy two weeks.NO BRAIN TUMOR!! Thank God! I am still running to the doctor because at this point they still don't know what it wrong. During my health scare, I let the affair fall into the background.( I TRADED A HEARTACE FOR A HEADACE) I didn't forget it!!!!! I just had something more important to worry about. We took the two small kids home and we took our daughter off to college! Everything went well. On the drive home I felt very sad. Not for leaving her there, but for wondering what was going to happen next. The affair was back in my head full force. I am still remembering all the things the OW told me on our last conversation. I am not going to call her anymore because I think she enjoyed telling me details. She also wanted me to leave him and move away.( i wonder why she wants me to do that) We got home at 11pm. The house was quiet and we were both tired. I laid down on the sofa and was instantly asleep. The next morning we had a long conversation. He is still telling me that he will never cheat again. He is telling me that I am everything he has ever wanted. He says he was young and stupid and will never take a chance like that again. He is a serial cheater!!!! I would love to believe him!!! If i'm as sick as they think I might be I will need him more than ever. We spent the rest of the weekend doing nothing but talking and watching movies. It felt right!!! Today is Monday and we are having a bad storm. He has gone to work and the old familiar feelings are back! The pain has resurfaced along with the health scare. How will I ever know if he is being sincere? He called a little while ago telling me how much he misses me and how much he loves me. I hate this feeling. How are all of my friends doing? Whats new in your life? Pedwin Link to post Share on other sites
DazednConfused Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 WB Pedwin! For what it is worth, sounds like the OW is waiting in the wings, but that your husband is trying to show you in word and deed what he wants. You. Yep. He F'ed up big time. I know how hard it is to take actions at face value, and even harder to take the words they say. You second and third guess yourself, and wonder if it is all a trick to throw you off the trail.... Trust your gut. I think he's working on it. Occasionally people actually learn from their mistakes.... I think my wife is one, and I hope your husband is another. There just has to be a time when we let go and give them the space to either prove themselves or hang themselves. Not much new here, same 'ol daily festival here too. Glad to hear that you dodged a brain tumor, I am hoping that maybe it was something as simple as..... oh, I don't know.... gas? lol, "Brain gas??" I crack myself up.... Chin up Peds, this too shall pass.... -D Link to post Share on other sites
Author pedwin Posted August 30, 2004 Author Share Posted August 30, 2004 Originally posted by DazednConfused WB Pedwin! For what it is worth, sounds like the OW is waiting in the wings, but that your husband is trying to show you in word and deed what he wants. You. Hi dazed, I agree with you, except that I think she is doing the ole ( i can't have him but I don't want him to have you) We did have a wonderful weekend. It was loving and romantic. I sure hope it lasts. I keep thinking about the 'serial' part of it. Can he help himself? When the time comes will he be able to say "no thank you I'm married" This scares me to death. I am starting to have the same ole feelings that I had for him again. I don't want to fall all into him again and then he make a fool of me. I would also like to know he loves me for sure before I am diagnosed. If I'm real sick I don't want him to stay with me out of guilt. I was just reading some of the info from the lab who is coming to take my blood. They say that with my symptoms it's usually a cancer somewhere that has not been found. It has something to do with the enzymes I hope that I know what's in his heart before I get diagnosed. What's up with you and your wife? Have you been talking? What is she saying? How are you feeling about the whole thing? Pedwin Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Welcome back, pedwin What a lot of troubles you have on your plate just now - it sounds like you are coping remarkably well. Only time will tell if he can be trusted and (just as importantly) whether you feel able to trust him again. I think you may need a period of recovery and normality before you can make these judgements. Meanwhile you look after yourself and get well. I hope your tests keep coming back clear. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Hey Pedwin, I'm so glad you're OK and healthy! That's good news!! I agree with Dazed..he gives some great words and support, so you can't beat that! You two are really going through something similar and it's nice to see the support and caring here that you both give eachother!! I do hope your H makes it up to you and leaves this OW in his dust trail. She sounds like a real piece of work. All the best baby!! WWIU Link to post Share on other sites
Author pedwin Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Hi there, Still not healthy!!!! Don't know what the problem is yet!! But their working on it I'm glad everyone seems to be doing OK. My H is trying I guess. Like I said how do I know for sure? Or if it will last? I hate this feeling of uncertainty. We are still in therapy and I hope he is getting some kind of help. Until he realizes why he has to have these other women then my marriage is not safe. I know he wants to be the kind of husband I want but i'm not sure he can. If another good looking woman comes on to him i'm not sure he has the ability to turn her down. All I can do is hope!!AND WATCH HIM LIKE A HAWK LOVE TO ALL PEDWIN Link to post Share on other sites
veronese Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Hi Pedwin, glad you're back I haven't got internet access at home at the moment so have popped into an internet cafe for 15 minutes. I'm glad things are moving in the right direction with you and your H, let's hope it continues! I really hope all the tests you have had come back clear, as if you need more worry at the moment. The situation can't be helping your headaches that's for sure. Keep in touch hun and I'll write more asap. The computer guy is coming to take my PC away later so I'll be back online in a few days. Thinking of you veronese x Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 HI!!! Nice to "see" you here. I am so relieved that you don't have a tumor but I pray it is nothing serious. I am sorry I haven't been around much lately. I IM'ed you but you were away. Keep taking things day by day and go w/ your heart. Your dh sounds like he does regret what he did and I know it's hard to beleive that. I just hope he is sincere what he tells you. As for the OW, she is probably thinking the samething you are feeling, can't have him but she doesn't want you w/ him either. Link to post Share on other sites
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