LostnLove Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 Hello everyone. I'm new to this, so I'm hoping I can get some advice. I have been dating this amazing man for 6 1/2 months. For the most part, he's absolutely wonderful. He is affectionate and extremely patient. I finally told him that I love him about 2 weeks ago. He didn't say it back, which is what I expected and understood. Everything has been wonderful up until this past weekend. He is a musician. His band was playing at a local club and usually, I have most of his attention, but not that night. His focus was off and on someone else and it really bothered me. At the end of the night, I walked outside after the band had loaded everything up and there was that girl and her friend sitting in a car right by the band trailer. I don't know if #'s were exchanged. But his attitude toward me was different for the first time since we have been together. The next day we got up and we each had things to do (we do not live together). He said he would call, but he never did, so I sent him a message and he was at a "friend's" house. Yes, it was a female friend. He said he would call me and he never did. Today, he still hasn't called, which he always does at lunch. I have had a bad feeling since this weekend and I can't seem to shake it. Maybe I am reading to much into it, but then again, it is said that a woman's intuition is never wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 You are probably right, be prepared for the worst..... Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 it is said that a woman's intuition is never wrong? True.. The situation sounds sticky and smells fishy lol but things aren't always what they seem. I say unless you have hardcore evidence don't worry yourself because you could be worrying for no reason. But intuition is intuition so just be cautious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostnLove Posted August 30, 2004 Author Share Posted August 30, 2004 There is such a stigma attached to a musician. I've never heard anything negative about him and that he is a one-woman-man. I am normally not a jealous person, but it is different this time around. He gets equally as jealous when a guy comes up and talks to me at one of his shows. The only difference is that I tell the guy I have a boyfriend. I just don't want to prolong something that is doomed. Link to post Share on other sites
swright2farmer Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Well, you have only been together for 6 1/2 months. To me, if he is at a friend's house that is a girl, I would be upset also. I have been married for 4 years and was recently hurt by my husband and can understand where you are coming from. I had a relationship with a guy for 3 years prior to my meeting my husband and I know how it feels to be in love and then that happen. Are you in love or just infatuated with him. Have you had prior loves before? My husband has been lieing to me for 4 years and I recently found out the truth and I am deeply hurt. The whole time I felt insecure that he was telling me the truth, when in fact, I was right, he was lieing. So in my case a women's intuition is never wrong. I would wait another day or so and see if he replies to you. Don't make any contact with him, play hard to get and see if he truly wants to be with you. You will then learn if it was meant to be. I hope this helps, I am trying to heal myself. Take care........ Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostnLove Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 I am deeply in love with this man. Yes, I have been in love once before about 6 years ago. And I guess you could say he was my first love. But, I have talked to my bf since this weekend and he has been very short with me. He is not his usual self. I have put my heart on the line and have expressed my feelings for him. But I am being left in the dark. I get the excuse of "I'm in a band and if we get signed I may be gone for a while." The fact of the matter is his band is amazing! They could go far. But he is not signed yet and it could happen in 2-3 years then again, it could never happen at all. I have suffered many heartbreaks. But this relationship is so different. It's wonderful and frustrating at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
Not so crazy Hottie Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Lost- From personal exp you probably freaked him when you told him you loved him..... don't call him, go on with your life, and when he calls ask him why he is being so distant.....if you get a weird response, let it go and don't talk to him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Your best move now is to distance yourself. Don't go chasing him, that'll just make him run. No phone calls, no messages, etc.. I know you'll want to do the complete opposite, but unless he realizes himself what he is about to lose, he's not worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostnLove Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Yes, it will be hard to go without talking to him. And even if he does call, I don't know what I should say. Should I tell him what's bothering me or should I just let it be for now? I am a very outspoken person and have always been able to tell people exactly how I feel. But with him, I worry about what his reaction would be. And I tend to not say as much. But surprisingly, he was very happy when I told him that I loved him. So, that is part of the reason I am confused. How can a person be happy and tell you it would kill them to see you with another person and that they care for you, then 2 weeks later, be so distant? Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 When he calls, tell him how you feel. Don't worry about 'his' reaction. What he has done to you has made you uncomfortable. He should realize this, but tell him anyways. If he cares and loves you he will apologize and correct the mistake by not doing it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostnLove Posted September 2, 2004 Author Share Posted September 2, 2004 Thank you all for your advice. He did call me and apologized for being distant and short with me. We have made plans to talk this weekend. No, I am not gonna just give in and say that everythings OK, and tell him it wasn't a big deal. He is gonna hear everything I have to say, regardless of whether he wants to or not. So, maybe I can get the tremendous weight off my shoulders for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 I think its not a good sign....that he was * at a friends house * which happens to be a girl and he is distant towards you....not good at ALL... But however he is probrobly experimenting with this girl to see what develops but for GOds Sake dont wait this out.....you said you were going to tell him all your feelings...thats well and good but it might not matter anymore.... There is a good possibility that he is interested in her....he MAY realize what he is going to lose but dont count on it...I could be wrong and he comes back to you full force....but putting distance and not calling in those few days is NOT GOOD.. I wish you the best... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostnLove Posted September 3, 2004 Author Share Posted September 3, 2004 This "friend" of his, he has known for 3 years. He has many female friends as I have mostly male friends. But the difference between us, is that I don't go over to their house and hang out with them until all hours of the night. My b/f and I talked briefly and he said he didn't realize he had been distant and short with me, and apologized. But I am still having very uneasy feelings about everything since last weekend. I have only confided in a few friends about my situation, because I don't want to end up having eveybody know my biz. They tell me that I can have any man I want...as any friend would say. They always tell me how beautiful I am...which is something my b/f used to tell me all the time, but hasn't in quite a while. Most people wouldn't put us together, because he isn't like most guys I've dated...athletic and muscular. He is just an adorable man. I am seriously stuck on what to say to him. I am not that good with getting words out (although I am a published poet) lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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