Coworkers ignore me for no reason.

[Angie30]

Hi all, I'm new to the group.

 

I’ve been working at this place for about nine months. For the most part there is no office drama and everyone gets along. My concern is the two people that sit next to me. Other than an abrupt hello once in a while, they NEVER EVER talk to me. I know there are two sides to every story, but TRUST ME I have done absolutely nothing wrong to these two, I haven’t had the opportunity to because we barely talk. I’ve actually gone out of my way to try to chat and laugh with them and I get nothing in return. I ask about their kids, the pictures in their office, yet I get nothing in return. Generally when someone converses with you, you ask them questions back. They just give yes or no answers and that's it.

 

Since the first day I started at this office, they were always standoffish with me. I have no idea why. They are both really popular and go out to lunch in a large group. As an introvert it really hurts that I’m being treated like this because as always I feel like there’s something wrong with me, since they’re ignoring me. One of the people is a 60 year old man, the other is a 40 year old woman and I’m only 30. This is extremely childish behavior for both.

 

Now I just totally keep to myself, ignore them. It sucks because they are so popular and people come by to talk to them and then they see how quiet I am and they just ignore me. SO this is really affecting my relationship with others to.. I don’t know how to get over this. Any help would be great. Thanks.

Edited February 14, 2013 by Angie30

[Lostinlife4now]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Hi all, I'm new to the group.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I’ve been working at this place for about nine months. For the most part there is no office drama and everyone gets along. My concern is the two people that sit next to me. Other than an abrupt hello once in a while, they NEVER EVER talk to me. I know there are two sides to every story, but TRUST ME I have done absolutely nothing wrong to these two, I haven’t had the opportunity to because we barely talk. I’ve actually gone out of my way to try to chat and laugh with them and I get nothing in return. I ask about their kids, the pictures in their office, yet I get nothing in return. Generally when someone converses with you, you ask them questions back. They just give yes or no answers and that's it.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Since the first day I started at this office, they were always standoffish with me. I have no idea why. They are both really popular and go out to lunch in a large group. As an introvert it really hurts that I’m being treated like this because as always I feel like there’s something wrong with me, since they’re ignoring me. One of the people is a 60 year old man, the other is a 40 year old woman and I’m only 30. This is extremely childish behavior for both. I don’t know how to get over this. Any help would be great. Thanks. [/FONT][/sIZE]

 

Angie from my experience in the work world....

 

You are there to work...not make friends. If they don't want to talk to you....then you don't talk to them. Simple.

 

And I have found it's not about you. Its' about them.

[Angie30]

I know I'm there to work, but I've made great friends at work before. And there's certainly nothing wrong with just talking to people. I don't understand why they are so cold to me.

 

But you are right, I will just continue to ignore them back.

[Thegameoflife]

They have nothing to gain by befriending you. Don't take it personally, and it's probably a good thing. They're probably using everyone they're friendly with.

[Lostinlife4now]

I know I'm there to work, but I've made great friends at work before. And there's certainly nothing wrong with just talking to people. I don't understand why they are so cold to me.

 

But you are right, I will just continue to ignore them back.

 

 

Good girl Angie...

 

I am old, (well not too old) but...I know what I am talking about!

[Ross MwcFan]

Maybe they don't actually mean to be like that, maybe they don't even realise they're being like that. People will naturally click with certain other people, but not everyone.

[Almond_Joy]

I don't see what those two ignoring you has to do with you making friends with other people that come by their desk. If they go to lunch in a large group can't you just go to lunch with the group? Or talk to other colleagues on your breaks and make friends with people other than them?

 

Also, do they give short answers like that to the people that come visit them at their desk? If they do,they may not be the type to reciprocate conversational etiquette, which can or cannot be intentional.

 

As far as these two are concerned, I'd recommend acting the way you would normally, the way you did before you started going out of your way to build rapport with them. ignore them in return just means you are behaving the same way they are.....and that seems like an immature response to me. Just be yourself. Either they come around or they don't.

[Angie30]

Ross,

 

That's what I'm thinking...that they are totally unaware of what they're doing.

 

Almond Joy,

 

Please don't call my response immature, I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to people that barely look in my direction. How can I go to lunch with a group of people that never invite me? It sounds pretty pathetic to say, "can I come pleaaaase???" Several months ago I was new and not one of them invited me, not one of them tried to make conversation with me. Sure, I've made other friends at work. But when people come by THEIR desk, they see how quiet I am and I think this turns them off. Or as my therapist said...others will think that I'm not interested in a dialogue (because I'm so quiet), when I really am interested in making friends.

 

I'm done.

[Angel Lady]

There are typically 2 reasons for this and it's quite simple but a little messed up

 

1. You mean nothing to them. What I mean by this is that all the people they go to lunch with are probably the same people they network with, use, or exploit for their personal gain. Now unless you wanna be one of their groupies, I'd personally would rather be alone because there would be less office drama. They might not just like your work ethics or don't like you.

 

Have you ever met people that you know you don't like but just by observing their mannerism and you know you already don't like them? Maybe you're that to them

 

2. Or simply because of your age. Younger people in a work place regardless of the occupation will always get the most crap or will be the most popular person. But then again when you are in the center if attention, you are a walking target for criticism, rebuttles, and remarks.

 

Im the youngest server at my restaurant but because of my reputation as the "owners daughter" I am the center of attention for everything but nonetheless popular with my co workers. However back in the good old days when I first started, no one talked to me and I really kept to myself. I did my job and more to gained their respect in that sense as well as never questioning my superiors. I liked it that way though. But this is my personal experience in the work force.

[ON MY OWN]

Angie from my experience in the work world....

 

You are there to work...not make friends. If they don't want to talk to you....then you don't talk to them. Simple.

 

And I have found it's not about you. Its' about them.

 

I so agree with this!!!

[ON MY OWN]

Maybe they don't actually mean to be like that, maybe they don't even realise they're being like that. People will naturally click with certain other people, but not everyone.

 

Hi Ross,

I think some people dont realize it, then there are others who know exactly what they are doing. I have worked with both.