ltjg45 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Well.....in a way, it does bring its own benefits. I met a Russian female back in August 2012. It was clearly the 1st female that I was willing to step up to and show my interest since High School. Even during that time, I was still unemployed. I thought I had an relationship with her as I have spent 2-3 months with her daily at her place (since I was still staying with my mother) but she confirmed to me that we was never boyfriend/girlfriend so I merely rolled in the punches. She told me that if I can find work, we do have a good chance of making it an actual relationship, hence why finding employment is high on my "to-do" list (not like that situation would have affected me that much. That is just another reason to continue my job search.) In the meantime, we are close friends. She tells me of any possible jobs nearby that I can apply and I keep up with her and be one of the better friends she has. Would I still have a chance to be in a romantic relationship with her once I do find employment? No idea but, in this case, I'm sure this was the only way to keep that fire between us alive. I will have to work with this in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 There is one case where you should never be friends: after a girl has already rejected you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ltjg45 Posted February 14, 2013 Author Share Posted February 14, 2013 There is one case where you should never be friends: after a girl has already rejected you. That's just it. I don't know if she ever rejected me. Normally, I would tell these things outright but she did mention we would be together if I find employment, which is understandable. She still remains in contact with me ever since. She just became a grandmother at the age of 35 so I have no doubt she is done with the "bar girl" kind of lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
mustangguy29 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 She told me that if I can find work, we do have a good chance of making it an actual relationship If you find a job, you have a "good chance" of making it a relationship. It sounds like she likes your company, but has no sexual interest in you at all. If she did, you would already be dating even if you didn't have a job. Would I still have a chance to be in a romantic relationship with her once I do find employment? No, her reason for not being in a relationship will just change. "Maybe after I finish school", etc. Get a job, because everyone should have one. Start spending your time with someone that wants to be with romantically involved with you. You are fulfilling an emotional need for her, so she keeps you around, but she has no desire to be your girlfriend or she already would be. When I was young I went through the same situation with a few girls, before I finally realized I was wasting my time. One of them even let things get physical whenever I started to withdraw with the situation, because she wanted to keep me hooked, but she didn't really want to be my girlfriend. It was hard to see then, but very easy to see in retrospect. Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 There is one case where you should never be friends: after a girl has already rejected you. Completely agree with this. If she says no, don't stick around hoping to change her mind. If you genuinely want to be friends anyway, fine. Be friends. But don't do so hoping to get your foot in the door. It almost never works. Link to post Share on other sites
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