Why is my ex so mean to me

[VashX21]

I have been broken up with the mother of my child for over 3 years and she still treats me like dirt. We dated for over 7 years and into the final couple of months of our relationship we were on and off all the time. In the end she was the one who dumped me because it was just too much. she moved on and is now married with 2 additional children with her husband and I have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years. She has full custody of our daughter and I get her every other weekend. Every now and then we'll have pizza or something with our daughter and talk a little bit which is ok, I guess but 99% of the time it seems like she goes out of her way to put me down. Some way she always finds a way to talk about what happend in the past or how she could never be with me. She always has some kind of comment about my appearance . always wants to know about my relationship and why my G/F is with me. Im a pretty confident guy and It doesnt bother me what she actually says but it bothers me that she says it. If thats the way she felt then why say anything at all, right? Despite everything we have been through I still try to respect her. I can genuinely talk her to like anyone else and not have 2 thoughts about it but she is just a straight up B**** towards me. I take care of my child, I pay her child support on time every month and aside from that there is no contact. so what is her problem? It never even used to bother me but now its like ok this is getting kind of old. I know this is kind of vague but it is what it is, all help is appreciated.

[Ruby Slippers]

Why don't you ask her?

[VashX21]

I have but she tries to play it off like she's just joking.

[rocketman122]

I think she acts and talks to you this way because you let her. it seems youre too passive and weak in her eyes. I think shes right. you dont have to be an azzhole but you should be able to put her in her place and youre too submissive. it seems to me that she wore the pants in your relationship and you followed like the good poodle you are.

Im a pretty confident guy and It doesnt bother me what she actually says but it bothers me that she says it

 

I dont think you are. even your tone when writing is very submissive. you say it doesnt bother you but then you say it does. same thing.

 

just tell her keep your comments to yourself. keep doing what youre doing but you need to toughen up a bit and stop acting like a wuss. when she points to your clothes, turn your body away from her and ignore her. when you walk away say keep your comments about the way I look to yourself.

 

I can also tell you still think about her and if she wanted to get back, you jump at the first opportunity. she see's this.

[daylight]

I think she acts and talks to you this way because you let her. it seems youre too passive and weak in her eyes. I think shes right. you dont have to be an azzhole but you should be able to put her in her place and youre too submissive. it seems to me that she wore the pants in your relationship and you followed like the good poodle you are.

Im a pretty confident guy and It doesnt bother me what she actually says but it bothers me that she says it

 

I dont think you are. even your tone when writing is very submissive. you say it doesnt bother you but then you say it does. same thing.

 

just tell her keep your comments to yourself. keep doing what youre doing but you need to toughen up a bit and stop acting like a wuss. when she points to your clothes, turn your body away from her and ignore her. when you walk away say keep your comments about the way I look to yourself.

 

I can also tell you still think about her and if she wanted to get back, you jump at the first opportunity. she see's this.

 

It could be that, and a lot of what I read from the thread posters writing it may seem like he's sort of passive but that's not a bad thing when you're dealing with the mother of your children because it's not about the relationship anymore, it's about the kid. And you're bang on about that, if you give the bitch an inch, she'll take a mile.

 

If that's the case, set your boundaries and tell her to **** off when she gets disrespectful. Or just laugh at her like it doesn't bother you, that'll piss her off.

 

On the reverse side of this, if you're doing better in your life then she is. You look better, you make more money then her, are happier than her etc. She could be doing it to break you down a bit. Attacking your self esteem so you're on her level.

 

Ultimately, the best way to deal with that situation is focus on making yourself better. Make more money, be happier, find a better looking woman. Nothing'll hurt her worse than being better than her in every way.

 

All in all, this is the mother of your child and no matter what, do whats best for the kid even if that means being a passive pushover. I've got a lot of respect for you for still being in the child's life and paying on your child support.

[Archgirl]

It's a ****** up way of feeling like she has control of you still, it's because you are confident and happy with someone else. Like granting her approval or disapproving of something gives her the feeling that that is within her power. Putting someone down is what weak people do to try and drag them down to their level.

Do you see what I mean? It's hard to explain what I'm getting at, my ex does it too.

[kds]

It does to bother you, if it didn't you wouldn't be posting this. Shine her on baby! She is "your ex"!!!

[Soxfaninfl]

I have been broken up with the mother of my child for over 3 years and she still treats me like dirt. We dated for over 7 years and into the final couple of months of our relationship we were on and off all the time. In the end she was the one who dumped me because it was just too much. she moved on and is now married with 2 additional children with her husband and I have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years. She has full custody of our daughter and I get her every other weekend. Every now and then we'll have pizza or something with our daughter and talk a little bit which is ok, I guess but 99% of the time it seems like she goes out of her way to put me down. Some way she always finds a way to talk about what happend in the past or how she could never be with me. She always has some kind of comment about my appearance . always wants to know about my relationship and why my G/F is with me. Im a pretty confident guy and It doesnt bother me what she actually says but it bothers me that she says it. If thats the way she felt then why say anything at all, right? Despite everything we have been through I still try to respect her. I can genuinely talk her to like anyone else and not have 2 thoughts about it but she is just a straight up B**** towards me. I take care of my child, I pay her child support on time every month and aside from that there is no contact. so what is her problem? It never even used to bother me but now its like ok this is getting kind of old. I know this is kind of vague but it is what it is, all help is appreciated.

 

My ex-wife and I were married for 11 years, and we don't speak to each other at all. We only communicate via email or text about our 9 year old son. When were in the same room together you can feel the tension and awkwardness. We've been apart now for 3 years. She complains about me to her family. My son has told me this. I'm always civil when I speak to her and she is with me. She obviously talks behind my back. I do it to since I'm still angry for what she put us through and cost us our home and over 100k lost.

[Radu]

I have been broken up with the mother of my child for over 3 years and she still treats me like dirt. We dated for over 7 years and into the final couple of months of our relationship we were on and off all the time. In the end she was the one who dumped me because it was just too much. she moved on and is now married with 2 additional children with her husband and I have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years.

This sounds odd, so she dumped you, found some guy who knocked her up in just a few months and married him right after ?

It's highly unusual for someone to get over another person after such a long relationship in days/weeks.

 

She has full custody of our daughter and I get her every other weekend. Every now and then we'll have pizza or something with our daughter and talk a little bit which is ok, I guess but 99% of the time it seems like she goes out of her way to put me down. Some way she always finds a way to talk about what happend in the past or how she could never be with me. She always has some kind of comment about my appearance . always wants to know about my relationship and why my G/F is with me.

Ppl put down ppl to make themselves feel better.

Everyone of us is on the same social ladder.

Ppl who can't live without pointing, showing and reinforcing that they are better than you, are generally those that have low self-esteem.

I could be guessing, but based on how fast she jumped into this relationship, and that now she has three [3] kids to look after, i don't think she's that happy about her life.

This kind of thing being done in front of the child is also detrimental to the child.

In short, the child has to see both the mother and father as rolemodels.

You will most likely be the rolemodel or one of the rolemodels of that little girl in terms of what men she wants.

This woman will be the rolemodel of what kind of a woman she will be.

You need to step on this behaviour and put her in her place, a child has his/her view of the world formed in the first 7yrs or so, and those will shape their lives.

 

Im a pretty confident guy and It doesnt bother me what she actually says but it bothers me that she says it. If thats the way she felt then why say anything at all, right? Despite everything we have been through I still try to respect her. I can genuinely talk her to like anyone else and not have 2 thoughts about it but she is just a straight up B**** towards me. I take care of my child, I pay her child support on time every month and aside from that there is no contact. so what is her problem? It never even used to bother me but now its like ok this is getting kind of old. I know this is kind of vague but it is what it is, all help is appreciated.

No, first of all if she behaved like this throughout your relationship you are not a confident guy.

This with the fact that it was on/off in the end, with her pulling the plug pretty much paints the picture of a Welcome mat.

I'm not saying that you should stop payments for your daughter, or be a d*ck with her mother, or beat women, i'm saying that you need to set some boundaries and stick to them when she will test them [and like all women, test them she will].