Author Stilllovehim Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Don't ever think about that kind of crap! That's just BS ~ negative thinking. There's no shortage of good, God fearing, God respecting, loving men out there just looking for someone like you! Life is hard! Its harder for those if you're stupid. (I'm NOT calling your stupid!) It really PMO that you were abused! :mad: :mad: Mistreated! By those that you cared about and who were suppose to care about you, protect you, etc. I have NO sympathy ~ NONE ~ ZERO ! :mad: :mad: For sexual molestors! Especially child molestors! I'm a God fearing ~ law abiding Man! But you lay a hand upon one a mine in a wrongfull way? God have pity on you! I WON'T! I haven't any problem with killing what needs killing! Anyone that lays a hand on one my most cherished and beloved children or grandchildren? They need to turn themselves into the "Law" ~ not just because they broke the law! BUT! Because they're sorry azz is going to seriously need Police Protection from ME! :mad: :mad: Despite being a retired United States Marine? I will seriously put you in a hurt locker if someone mess with my most cherished children and grandchilden! Wow thank you gunny You have helped tremendously After not going to sleep until 5:30 Which I think I didn't want to sleep because I was afraid to wake up and want to go back But I don't! I woke up planned an afternoon with my gym buddy Read my devotion and I'm hurt but everyone has really made me realize And make my decision, i don't know you from Adam but I sure as heck am happy you are on this , I won't give up hope I've never given up hope I've always had it because I hoped in Jesus , through everything I've been through I've prayed and waited It hurts along the way I just gotta make sure I stay focused And like my grandma always told me One mans trash is another mans treasure I gotta learn to love myself I never have ,but until I can fully trust God to love me and until I love myself I will continue to be let down I know what I need to do I always have, it's just hard doing it But I think i could trust myself before other people for now on And yes I know I'm 19 , honestly I feel 30 I ache , but I know my God can make it better Thank you for your help Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stilllovehim Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Yes without a shadow of a doubt. As soon as you start to truly love yourself. All of you (bad bits and all). You start this journey by dealing with the demons of the past. Once that is done you can then start to look forward in a healthy frame of mind (which you are not in at present). Was that you in your avatar? What a gorgeous girl you are. You need to find a guy that wakes up with you in his arms and thinks. "Holy crap I am waking up with ........ How lucky am I? Your current husband will never be that guy. Most people advising you wish they would have done a lot of things differently. What an opportunity you have. A blank canvass to chart out your life as you see fit. You have no idea what kind of blessing that is. Having said that you have to be young and foolish before coming old and wise . You need to focus on achieving happiness and peace inside. That is no easy feat, especially coming from a badly broken home. Many never achieve it. They live their lives in denial. Because of this, they end up repeating the same patterns/mistakes and eventually start to play the victim and blame each and everyone around them for the mess that is their lives. They have this constant need/desire to be loved, which leads to attracting the wrong types of guys. This inevitably leads to temporary highs, followed devastating lows, which plenty of drama along the way. Then the cycle repeats. Rinse, lather, repeat. You will only find healthy love when you love yourself. When you are at peace with yourself. When you realise that you are a prize and that you don't require validation from anyone to know how incredible you are. Thank you! That is very kind and I know it's true, I just gotta act on it I've always been scared to be young and foolish My gym buddy, she is 25, is always doing something that makes me admire her in a way, except for the fact that she already wants to be younger, I've always said I can't wait to be in my 30s and 40s , her and her friends look at me stupid And I say it's because I can't wait to be wise , I have living in this juvenile brain But I know your right, gotta make mistakes to learn, I'm just afraid of failure to God and everyone else, but the first one is the only one that matters, and I need to learn and so what I want I've always tweaked who I am so people will love me But heck I don't even know who I am I gotta a lot of learning to do Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
GuyInLimbo Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I'm just begging for love This is your problem right here (outside of your young age). You are in no way, shape or form emotionally or mentally prepared for marriage. You are seeking unconditional love that you didn't' receive from your father (which is very sad). You need a few years of good therapy to get your mind in a good place. Only THEN should you think about love, but you do it on your terms, where you WANT someone in your life, not NEED someone. There's a very big difference. Link to post Share on other sites
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