Why do some women think their age is so sacred to tell?

[irc333]

I went out with this woman a couple of times, I might have mentioned this in another post.

 

Met her on OK Cupid, VERY attractive, former fashion model, now nurse. She revealed to me in conversation that the age she had put on her profile isn't quite the age she actually is ,and she still hasn't told me ....yet.

 

Very nice woman, we get along well so far, and also she said she won an email name in a Playboy contest, and I asked her what kind of "contest" and she said "Hm, I don't know you well enough to tell you HOW I won it."

 

(I'm assuming it involved nudity or something like that, big deal)

 

I told a male friend about the age situation for the woman I'm seeing, and he said, "I dunno man, my wife lied to me about her age, EVEN until into our marriage, turns out she was actually 5 years older than I thought she was when I married her"

 

THAT being said, are these kind of yellow or red flags? After I have gone out with her a couple of times, is it time to revisiting the secrets she has reveal to me yet?

[rocketman122]

yes, it happened to me many times. they would put a certain age for filtering purposes. either for attracting younger or older guys, depending on what they were looking for.

 

and a few later told me their age. it was always more though. didnt bother me a bit. but one wrote 41 and she was 47 and I was a bit shocked but withing 10 minutes was over it. woman have an issue with youth and some feel if they get older then guys their age only want younger girls. I never dated anyone younger. I like older women. though so no problem for me.

[irc333]

yes, it happened to me many times. they would put a certain age for filtering purposes. either for attracting younger or older guys, depending on what they were looking for.

 

and a few later told me their age. it was always more though. didnt bother me a bit. but one wrote 41 and she was 47 and I was a bit shocked but withing 10 minutes was over it. woman have an issue with youth and some feel if they get older then guys their age only want younger girls. I never dated anyone younger. I like older women. though so no problem for me.

 

At what point should I start asking her for her real age then?

[rocketman122]

I wouldnt say anything. obviously it bothers her so you bringing it might kill your chances. dont nag her. she'll talk when she feels like it. what age did she write? figure at worst itll be 10 years. its just a number. if youre attracted to her and things are going well, leave it be for now.

[silvermercy]

Can you really blame her? Women are being told by society from an early age that you lose value as a female the older you grow. My grandma, aunts/uncles, and mom have repeatedly told me so not to reveal my true age and that I should start doing so once I hit my early 20s in order not to have problems with men later in my 30s, 40s etc. Apparently it's a "big shame for a woman to grow older" or "Men don't like that" so I'd "better start early to be safe". They still tell me the same. LOL And I'm only 30 something. I try to refuse but I can't help the hugely unfair brain-washing double standard inflicted on me that women (but not men) are worthless as they age. Women still have a long way to go to escape this...

Edited February 16, 2013 by silvermercy

[rocketman122]

I think older women are hot! they make me rock hard. dont feel that way. many younger guys love older women. not a problem. just like older guys try to get young chickies so do young guys going for older girlies.

 

when I sent an older woman a message when I was OLD the first thing she said to me was "it flatters me that such a handsome good looking and buff young guy is interested in an old woman like me. dont you want to date a young girl" ok, so I added the good looking buff in there. but I love older women. very yummy.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I haven't started lying about my age on OLD sites, but it may happen one day

[TaraMaiden]

Women lie about their ages, because they know that men make a big deal out of it.

 

You date women at the ages they give you, but if they had admitted to their real age, you probably would have thought twice.

 

Women look younger nowadays because of all kinds of reasons - better diet, media pressure, availability of 'botox' and the like, better living conditions, better health care -

 

Look at my photo in my profile.

it was taken 2 years ago, when I was 54.

 

I've never had any kind of remedial surgery or 'line-fillers'.

I'm simply not geared that way.

But I'm repeatedly told I look between 35 - 40.

 

But I don't have to lie about my age.

I'm married to a guy 5 years younger than I.....

[AMusing]

Wait, women really do this? I thought that was an antiquated lie that ended when women were no longer considered "old maids" at 25.

 

I'd be totally freaked out if a guy lied about his age to me. I can understand entering a younger age on OLD, to avoid getting the MUCH older guys emailing you. But after you've met? After marriage?!? Really? And that doesn't bother you guys?!?

[Negative Nancy]

I would never lie about my age, I think it's pathetic. I'll be turning 31 soon and I don't think I would have any problems with that if it wasn't for the perceived pressure of society - but that still doesn't make me want to lie about my age. I also think it's because I am realistic about myself and know that I don't look any younger than my real age, so even if I lied it would show eventually.

 

The only thing I would possibly do in online dating (I've never done it and will never do it, so this is hypothetical) is I would leave out age and weight and upload a full body shot and then the men can decide themselves if I look "young and attractive enough".

 

But no, I would probably be honest about it. It is what it is, all of us age, and we will all die eventually. You can ALWAYS tell the age of a person anyway. Doesn't mean a 40 year old woman can't look good, but she will definitely not look like a 20 year old, so why lie about it? Besides, I think the normal development is that your age preference matures along with your own age. When I was 17 , I found boys my own age attractive. Now, 17 year old boys look like kids. But then again, it's probably different for men - why else would you find many of them jerking off to teen porn when you don't see the majority of women doing it?

 

So my (off-topic) conclusion: Another thread that shows that women are the "fairer" sex.

[Negative Nancy]

Look at my photo in my profile.

it was taken 2 years ago, when I was 54.

 

I've never had any kind of remedial surgery or 'line-fillers'.

I'm simply not geared that way.

But I'm repeatedly told I look between 35 - 40.

 

Sorry to break it to you, but they are lying to your face.

 

(And I don't mean this as an insult, it's just the objective truth. Doesn't mean you're not good-looking, but come on....20 years younger...you gotta be delusional to believe that.)

[TaraMaiden]

Fine.

but when guys ask to see my passport to prove it, and then their jaws hit the floor, I guess that's just me being delusional then.

I really give a damn, it makes no difference to me one way or the other.

I'm married so I give a phukk.

 

Besides, no matter what i look like, mentally I still feel about 25, if I have to put an age on it.

I've met some 30 year-olds with 70-year-old attitudes.

I don't think it's "outside" that matters, in most cases.....

[Negative Nancy]

Besides, no matter what i look like, mentally I still feel about 25, if I have to put an age on it

 

If an old man told me that line, I'd be thinking: "Great, an immature mind trapped in an old looking body....worst of both worlds"

 

#justsayin

[xxoo]

I know why women are uncomfortable revealing age--because many men see them differently when they reveal their true age.

 

Still, I don't understand lying. If I've got to lie to get a man, I don't want him.

 

If an old man told me that line, I'd be thinking: "Great, an immature mind trapped in an old looking body....worst of both worlds"

 

#justsayin

 

Eh, my grandmother used to tell me the same thing, even in her late 80s. She'd say that she was shocked when she looked in the mirror and saw and saw an old lady, when inside she felt no different from when she was 25. You have to take it in the right spirit.

[TaraMaiden]

If an old man told me that line, I'd be thinking: "Great, an immature mind trapped in an old looking body....worst of both worlds"

 

#justsayin

I can see why the name Negative Nancy fits you so well.

you're a bit of a man hater but you're none to friendly to women either.

 

You must be a real ice-breaker at parties.

Life and soul, you might say.

 

#justsayin.

[Negative Nancy]

It wasn't meant to be an insult towards you at all, but if you take it that way simply because I didn't flip out about your picture with the typical woman-like "you go girl!", "wow you're so stunning", "gorgeous, honey!" , then it's not my problem and doesn't make me a "hater" (a popular buzzword to silence any opinions people are not comfortable with).

[TouchedByViolet]

As long as I find a women physically attractive and like her personality age doesn't matter. Age is a fun point of conversation but doesn't affect attractiveness to me.

[TaraMaiden]

I rest my case.

I give a damn about your opinion of what I look like. And to be perfectly frank, no, I certainly wasn't looking for the comments you define as classic.

 

Gimme a break.

At my age, I'm way past giving a flying fig.

 

I frankly think I look like a horse, I detest my teeth, and I'm no oil painting.

But I know what my best feature is, and it's not one you can see.

[Negative Nancy]

I will extend an olive branch and say it might be a cultural difference. Where I am from, honesty is valued over white lies, whereas in the Anglo-Saxon areas it's the other way around from what I know.

 

For example, it would be completely normal to ask my boss "you're looking really bad today, are you not feeling well". That would be seen as a sign of compassion (she has noticed I am not feeling well), whereas Anglos would probably curl their toes at that comment and see it as rude.

 

My point is, you sound like you may have misinterpreted my statements because you are hurt that I didn't agree with you looking 20 (!) years younger, but you have to be realistic in life - even if you don't care.

[rocketman122]

I will extend an olive branch and say it might be a cultural difference. Where I am from, honesty is valued over white lies, whereas in the Anglo-Saxon areas it's the other way around from what I know.

 

For example, it would be completely normal to ask my boss "you're looking really bad today, are you not feeling well". That would be seen as a sign of compassion (she has noticed I am not feeling well), whereas Anglos would probably curl their toes at that comment and see it as rude.

 

My point is, you sound like you may have misinterpreted my statements because you are hurt that I didn't agree with you looking 20 (!) years younger, but you have to be realistic in life - even if you don't care.

 

 

Thats how I am exactly. I say it like I see, whether its seen as good or bad.

[TaraMaiden]

I will extend an olive branch and say it might be a cultural difference.....

 

Aaaargh!!

 

Shall we?

 

SHOULD we - ?!?

 

[irc333]

By the way, this isn't just limited to online dating....people even lie to your face about their age. Like I said, friend of mine was married to his wife without knowing her REAL age until he saw some documentation in some paperwork (ie - birth certificate), and he brought it to her attention.

[irc333]

Funny, it's almost the end of the world if a man even WHITE lies, but if some women do it, she has some kind of rational justification for it. Double standard.

 

Esp, when it comes to their own insecurities or some shady past of theirs.

 

Women lie about their ages, because they know that men make a big deal out of it.

 

I think some women think it's okay to lie about age, or anything that compromises their awareness of their mortality, it's okay to lie about it....but if a man lies about it, they just dump a generalized "what a liar" judgement on him.

 

It's like men cannot lie, no matter what conditions exists, where some women have a justification when it comes to their own vanity.

Edited February 16, 2013 by irc333

[TaraMaiden]

I will extend an olive branch and say it might be a cultural difference. Where I am from, honesty is valued over white lies, whereas in the Anglo-Saxon areas it's the other way around from what I know.

Well, TbH, I'm Italian, so I don't think that applies to me...

But no, I don't think people are much into white lies here either.

I would say you're either mistaken or misinformed....

 

For example, it would be completely normal to ask my boss "you're looking really bad today, are you not feeling well". That would be seen as a sign of compassion (she has noticed I am not feeling well),

I do this all the time. The momentary look I get back is a cross between "My god, someone's noticed!!" and "Should I tell, or just keep it to myself?" People appreciate it. They tend to open up.....

 

whereas Anglos would probably curl their toes at that comment and see it as rude.

Not so much.

This is a stereotypical view, but 'Anglos' are a lot more open and empathetic than you imagine....

 

My point is, you sound like you may have misinterpreted my statements because you are hurt that I didn't agree with you looking 20 (!) years younger, but you have to be realistic in life - even if you don't care.

No not at all.

I reiterate, I'm not hurt in the slightest.

And while i sincerely and genuinely appreciate the olive branch, this is just a discussion forum, not a meeting of the UN heads of State.

 

Water off a duck's back.

Although one person's 'opinions people aren't comfortable with' is another person's "bloody rude"....

It's a question of perception, and maybe taking care how you phrase things.

 

If someone chooses to not pay too much attention to how they phrase things, in favour of shooting from the hip and saying it as they feel it, they're going to get people who take umbrage at their tone.

Simple, but true.

 

I should know.

[KathyM]

I think men lie about their age just as much as women on OLD sites. My sister was duped into meeting men on dating sites who had lied about their age many times. It seems pretty deceptive and is not a good way to start a relationship off. It also shows insecurity and willingness to manipulate others, which would be a red flag IMO. A guy that was not honest about himself and felt he had to pretend to be something he is not would not interest me. A man (or woman) who is truthful about themselves shows confidence, character, and self esteem. Who doesn't feel she has to pretend to be something else in order to attract a man. A man who would reject me because of my age is not someone I'd want a relationship with anyway.