Why do some women think their age is so sacred to tell?

[RedRobin]

Here's a novel idea.

 

Just tell the freakin truth.

 

Here's a novel idea.

 

Come up with something novel instead of repeating yourself... Mr. 'it's ok to use women for sex as long as they are a certain age'

[Imported]

Here's a novel idea.

 

Come up with something novel instead of repeating yourself... Mr. 'it's ok to use women for sex as long as they are a certain age'

 

Hey, its OK to use women for sex no matter what age they are, so long as I find them attractive. I don't lie to them. In fact, it is important to me they go in knowing full well where I stand on it. Strangely, there are plenty of women out there that just want to have sex and I am no so much using them as they are using me.

 

And here's a novel idea.

 

Just tell the freak'n truth.

 

Miss liar liar yoga pants on fire.

[RedRobin]

My very accomplished, intelligent, emotionally strong female friends are proud of their experience and age, the ones that held up well enjoy the shock it gives to the younger guys who inquire (but they also turn down those young ones, they like equals as partners).

 

Who says the younger guys can't be equals?

 

... my very accomplished, intelligent, emotionally strong male and female friends are proud of their experience and age... but also know how to successfully filter out those who would use them for other purposes... I've learned a lot from them.

 

and no... they don't feel obligated to barf up their life experience or any other information to all comers either. They have nothing to prove.

 

The lady the OP speaks of doesn't feel the need to share her age with him... it could be anything really. If he likes her and doesn't think age is a big deal, he can wait. If he doesn't like her, and thinks age IS a big deal, then he won't.

[RedRobin]

Hey, its OK to use women for sex no matter what age they are, so long as I find them attractive. I don't lie to them. In fact, it is important to me they go in knowing full well where I stand on it. .

 

oh baloney...

[Imajerk17]

A woman lying and saying she is older than she is (as long as she is older than 18, that is) hurts noone... just as a man (or woman) lying about being poor hurts noone. Each is protecting their real assets from conniving SOB's...

 

The OP is not 'owed' an answer about her real age. Just like she would not necessarily be 'owed' an answer about his income. She said she was older than her profile... and sounds like she did so before going on a date. She hasn't lied.

 

If that's not sufficient, then he is welcome to walk.

 

Yes, it was me who suggested that women lie about being older to fish out the 'binners'. Just like a rich man would be wise to conceal his wealth to fish out the gold diggers.

 

Haha OK then maybe I will subtract 5 years from my age on my OLD profile. Hey I "look 5 years younger than I really am" and if the woman objects when I tell her I am older, well she's just being shallow because society thinks that older guys who are in the late 30s and not married are "creepy" or "have issues". Right....

 

No.

 

 

irc this is a red flag indeed but I happen to take a more pragmatic look at this. The way I see it the juice might still be worth the squeeze. Might. That she won't tell her age is annoying but if that is her only fault it's not the end of the world. At least she mentioned that she was older than she put down on her profile before you met up. It really depends on how well she treats you otherwise.

[RedRobin]

Nothing you say is going to excuse lying, period. It's just a way of justifying what you want at the expense of others, its selfish, and a really stupid way to start a relationship.

 

Are some people pigs who fetishize numbers & discount people for their age? Yep! But why lie to placate these shallow morons? I don't need to lower myself with dishonesty to attract someone too superficial for me to begin with!

 

I'm a mom, to invite a man in my life that wants them young would be a wreckless thing to expose my daughter to. On the flip side: having dependents is a duty I can't meet as fully if my partner is a young dependent too. What kind of example is it to my daughter to hunt after boys her age??!?! It makes quite the statement about how one values looks over substance...

 

Men who lie to women to use then for sex, suck! But so do women who lie to use men for sex right back!

 

I've never used a man for sex or money... and the easiest way to avoid the conniving SOBs is simply not to date strangers at all. Which I don't.

 

Until OLD sites have some way to do background checks on people before agreeing to meet them, then one has to be clever... careful... or just avoid it altogether. Refusing to tell her age isn't lying. Sounds to me like she is just being careful about what information she shares. That's her prerogative. If he doesn't like it, he can date someone else.

[KungFuJoe]

Here's a novel idea.

 

Come up with something novel instead of repeating yourself... Mr. 'it's ok to use women for sex as long as they are a certain age'

 

I'm repeating myself because it's obvious you don't get it.

 

And where did you get the idea that I said it's ok to use women for sex.

 

I said as long as the feeling is mutual, then have fun...don't expect anything serious from someone who lacks so much self esteem they feel the need to lie about their age. If you're not proud of who and what you are, then that's YOUR problem...not whoever happens to date you.

 

And for the record...I think I know a thing or two about lasting relationships...having been with the same woman for over 13 years.

[KungFuJoe]

oh baloney...

 

What Imported is saying is that they are using EACH OTHER for sex. Casual sex isn't a one way street. You know, it IS quite possible that women just wanna get laid, too.

 

As long as you're honest about your intentions, then have fun.

[StanMusial]

Nothing you say is going to excuse lying, period. It's just a way of justifying what you want at the expense of others, its selfish, and a really stupid way to start a relationship.

 

Are some people pigs who fetishize numbers & discount people for their age? Yep! But why lie to placate these shallow morons? I don't need to lower myself with dishonesty to attract someone too superficial for me to begin with!

 

I'm a mom, to invite a man in my life that wants them young would be a wreckless thing to expose my daughter to. On the flip side: having dependents is a duty I can't meet as fully if my partner is a young dependent too. What kind of example is it to my daughter to hunt after boys her age??!?! It makes quite the statement about how one values looks over substance...

 

Men who lie to women to use then for sex, suck! But so do women who lie to use men for sex right back!

 

This made me think of something else. I met a girl once and went on three dates before she mentioned she had a kid. I felt like I was lied to even though it was not explicit. That ended that. It wasn't so much she had a kid but the fact she hid it from me... if I had a kid that would be the most important thing in my life and it WOULD come up in a conversation on a date. /rant

[RedRobin]

This made me think of something else. I met a girl once and went on three dates before she mentioned she had a kid. I felt like I was lied to even though it was not explicit. That ended that. It wasn't so much she had a kid but the fact she hid it from me... if I had a kid that would be the most important thing in my life and it WOULD come up in a conversation on a date. /rant

 

She didn't know it was important to you... she couldn't read your mind. Nor could you read hers... You don't know that she was trying to hide it... On the other hand... if you said to her... "I'm not interested in dating women with kids"... and then she withheld it... that would be a different story.

[RedRobin]

Well...that's different. I wouldn't do anything serious with her. If you are both open to just having some "fun" by all means, knock yourself out.

 

But she is not gf/wife material.

 

And where did you get the idea that I said it's ok to use women for sex.

 

 

See first quote...

 

She doesn't owe it to him to share her age... just like he doesn't owe it to her to share his income.

 

That doesn't mean she is insecure about her age either. Might just mean she thinks that withholding it is a good filter and a way to test whether he is really interested in HER... or find out if he's a 'binner' and hung up on age.

 

Sorry if that ch*ps some guy's backsides...

 

Anyway... It wouldn't bother me if a guy withheld his income. I've never asked and never cared because I can take care of myself. They always volunteered it without me asking. That is how I do things... I prefer to let people volunteer on their own time. Seems to be a better way to build trust and intimacy rather than lots of digging, clawing, and bandage ripping off.

 

I've never asked a guy's age I was interested in either... If you sincerely don't care then it shouldn't be an issue.

[KungFuJoe]

See first quote...

 

She doesn't owe it to him to share her age... just like he doesn't owe it to her to share his income.

 

That doesn't mean she is insecure about her age either. Might just mean she thinks that withholding it is a good filter and a way to test whether he is really interested in HER... or find out if he's a 'binner'.

 

Sorry if that ch*ps some guy's backsides...

 

Anyway... It wouldn't bother me if a guy withheld his income. I've never asked and never cared because I can take care of myself. They always volunteered it without me asking. That is how I do things... I prefer to let people volunteer on their own time. Seems to be a better way to build trust and intimacy rather than lots of digging, clawing, and bandage ripping off.

 

I've never asked a guy's age I was interested in either... If you sincerely don't care then it shouldn't be an issue.

 

See where I said "IF YOU ARE BOTH OPEN". BOTH. BOTH. I'll repeat for emphasis. BOTH.

 

Lying over your age is stupid and immature. Any woman that feels the need to withhold that information has low self esteem and/or confidence and I know from experience that women AND MEN with low self esteem or confidence should be avoided like the plague.

[RedRobin]

See where I said "IF YOU ARE BOTH OPEN". BOTH. BOTH. I'll repeat for emphasis. BOTH.

 

Lying over your age is stupid and immature. Any woman that feels the need to withhold that information has low self esteem and/or confidence and I know from experience that women AND MEN with low self esteem or confidence should be avoided like the plague.

 

meh... it is no different than withholding any other aspect of your life from a total stranger.

 

Says nothing about one's level of security.

 

You might be surprised to know that I recently broke up with a guy I'd been dating for four months partly because he lied about my age to his friend... in front of me... when the guy asked.

 

I didn't like it that he felt the need to lie about the age of someone he claimed to love (me) just to impress his friend. When I complained about it later to him, he said he was 'giving me a compliment' because I don't look my age. I said "BS... I look the age of a woman who takes care of herself... and I'll appreciate you not lying on my behalf just so you can look good around your friends".

 

Now THAT is some insecure BS. He was a poseur in a lot of ways besides that one...

 

I also think his friend was an *ss for asking. They are both jerks, IMHO... putting me in the middle of their idiot c*ck fight.

[RedRobin]

If I can't find someone whose honest AND of substance, I'll masturbate!

 

Yep, that's my plan as well...

[Fondue]

Both men and women lie about trivial things. Age, height, occupation/wage, marital status, etc. etc. etc.

 

I think it is incredibly silly to do so. Think about it, you're using a lie so you could attract a certain kind of mate. So you're doing so under false pretenses, my question is: why would you want to date someone that may judge you on those things?

 

For example, if we're strictly discussing age here... Why would you lie about your age and date an age-ist? It makes no sense. You're trying to accommodate for something that someone already may dislike you for?

 

Would you really want to date someone who has preconceived notions on something like that? Seems a bit odd to me.

[KungFuJoe]

meh... it is no different than withholding any other aspect of your life from a total stranger.

 

Says nothing about one's level of security.

 

You might be surprised to know that I recently broke up with a guy I'd been dating for four months partly because he lied about my age to his friend... in front of me... when the guy asked.

 

I didn't like it that he felt the need to lie about the age of someone he claimed to love (me) just to impress his friend. When I complained about it later to him, he said he was 'giving me a compliment' because I don't look my age. I said "BS... I look the age of a woman who takes care of herself... and I'll appreciate you not lying on my behalf just so you can look good around your friends".

 

Now THAT is some insecure BS. He was a poseur in a lot of ways besides that one...

 

I also think his friend was an *ss for asking. They are both jerks, IMHO... putting me in the middle of their idiot c*ck fight.

 

Yeah, I am surprised...because now you just sound like a huge hypocrite.

[RedRobin]

Yeah, I am surprised...because now you just sound like a huge hypocrite.

 

a huge hypocrite for what? Expecting that I be allowed to decide what information I share or don't share with people?

 

when he lied, he made the decision FOR me. He didn't give me the option of telling the guy... telling the guy off... or coming back with a snappy retort...

[KungFuJoe]

a huge hypocrite for what? Expecting that I be allowed to decide what information I share or don't share with people?

 

when he lied, he made the decision FOR me. He didn't give me the option of telling the guy... telling the guy off... or coming back with a snappy retort...

 

Oh, so you're saying you'd rather YOU lie than your bf.

 

Now I get it.

[RedRobin]

Oh, so you're saying you'd rather YOU lie than your bf.

 

Now I get it.

 

I say it is MY life and I decide what to share with people and when... He had no right to make that decision for me.

 

I didn't owe his friend shyte. They were having a little c*ck fight at my expense and I didn't appreciate it.

[KungFuJoe]

I say it is MY life and I decide what to share with people and when... He had no right to make that decision for me.

 

I didn't owe his friend shyte. They were having a little c*ck fight at my expense and I didn't appreciate it.

 

Well...we're going to have to agree to disagree. I think ANY kind of lying is bad...ESPECIALLY lies that have little or no significance, such as age.

 

I mean, really...what a silly thing to lie over. You're SO afraid some dude is going to judge your because of your age? Then SCREW THE GUY. You're doing yourself a DISSERVICE by lying. Be truthful and weed out the judgemental people or the ones that are simply incompatible with you.

 

Your method is just wasting time.

[Woggle]

Because there are some men that do judge a woman by her age and there are some women who assume that every man is a shallow pig who only wants a young model. This leads to an atmosphere of dishonesty and mistrust.

[FitChick]

At what point should I start asking her for her real age then?

When you've decided to marry her because you want to have children. Age is only important for breeding purposes.

[RedRobin]

Well...we're going to have to agree to disagree. I think ANY kind of lying is bad...ESPECIALLY lies that have little or no significance, such as age.

 

I mean, really...what a silly thing to lie over. You're SO afraid some dude is going to judge your because of your age? Then SCREW THE GUY. You're doing yourself a DISSERVICE by lying. Be truthful and weed out the judgemental people or the ones that are simply incompatible with you.

 

Your method is just wasting time.

 

What method? Toying with the idea of lying about being older than I really am?

 

Haven't said I've tried it. I DO think it would be an interesting experiment and useful.

 

Mostly because I know for sure lots of guys do 'bin' women for FWB, etc based on just age. If I were honest about my age, I wouldn't necessarily know this about them right off the bat. So, yea, I think this 'method' would be pretty effective in filtering out one kind of guy... absolutely.

 

but since I don't date strangers, none of that would apply to me. IRL, most guys don't ask. The ones that do ask, I don't date. If I were a guy, I wouldn't date a woman who asked how much money I made or was overly curious about my income either.

[KungFuJoe]

What method? Toying with the idea of lying about being older than I really am?

 

Haven't said I've tried it. I DO think it would be an interesting experiment and useful.

 

Mostly because I know for sure lots of guys do 'bin' women for FWB, etc based on just age. If I were honest about my age, I wouldn't necessarily know this about them right off the bat. So, yea, I think this 'method' would be pretty effective in filtering out one kind of guy... absolutely.

 

but since I don't date strangers, none of that would apply to me. IRL, most guys don't ask. The ones that do ask, I don't date. If I were a guy, I wouldn't date a woman who asked how much money I made or was overly curious about my income either.

 

Hold on...money is one thing. But age? Who DOESN'T ask for an age? It's like asking for a name.

 

I think we are just on two VERY different wavelengths here.

 

*I* want a confident woman. A woman who loves herself and everything about herself, including her age. Hell...I already have that woman so I know exactly what I'm talking about.

 

Lying, testing, gameplaying, whatever...I don't go for NONE of that.

 

The difference between you and I is you're trying to weed out the bad ones....I'm looking for the good ones.

[carhill]

Both men and women lie about trivial things. Age, height, occupation/wage, marital status

 

Yep, know those trivialities well. The husbands didn't think them so trivial

 

More generally:

 

Look, women do what they do. If that is lie about their age, that. If it's a canary or dealbreaker, it is; if not, not. IMO, time is better spent pondering the meaning of life rather than figuring out 'why' a woman does anything. Just accept it and move on, whether that be with her or without her. There's one aspect of age one can never lie about, and let's put that one off as long as possible, eh?