Why do some women think their age is so sacred to tell?

[kaylan]

I have a better idea... she withholds what she wants... and presses you for information... then SHE decides if she wants to proceed. How 'bout them apples?

Omission of pertinent facts is the same as lying. Im sorry youre one of those insecure women who is ok with deceit and dishonesty. These apples are fine for me, as Im an open book, and not insecure about my personal information or history.

It is too bad the woman the OP is talking about isn't here reading this...

 

instead of even entertaining any of his age-related questions, she needs to be sticking it to him on things he should be coming 'clean' about and is uncomfortable with.

lolol. Why does it have to be some kind of game where score is kept. You ask me an uncomfy question only if I can ask you one?

 

No. We need to be honest and upfront adults. Again, Im not the ashamed type. Im an open book and am proud of who I am.

Then they can BOTH go home miserable and click on the 'next' button on their OLD site roulette...

Maybe OP should do that instead of dating a liar who takes nudes for other guys to jack off to in Playboy. (nvm that she wont come clean with that either)

[RedRobin]

I'm no expert with women but if a man is looking to have a family of his own then he will most likely for a young woman in her 20's and below 35 that are still in fertility range. Then some men just like young girls because of their fit bodies. That is my take on why some women would want to lie about their age. Me personally yes, I'm in my mid 20's, and if I want to have kids I'm gonna look for a young woman too.

 

That's great... and if she doesn't care about the guy dying on her and has a lock tight will that she gets all his cash when he keels over, then it is all good.

[RedRobin]

Omission of pertinent facts is the same as lying.

You are right Kaylan... next time you go on a date... make sure you tell them you really just wanna bang them for a year or two max and get some dating/f*cking experience. See how that goes over.

 

Im sorry youre one of those insecure women who is ok with deceit and dishonesty.

 

Not insecure at all. Just really keen on the ways men try to bin women.... in ways that have zero to do with her integrity or anything else about her.

 

I know very well the things lots of men are insecure about... and if they wanna play that, we can go there. Yep.

 

These apples are fine for me, as Im an open book, and not insecure about my personal information or history.

 

uh huh. See above. You keep what you want to yourself until you decide when to share, same as anyone else.

[xxoo]

If someone is going to reject you based on age, why would you want to keep them around any longer than necessary?

 

I do think that OLD should be "age optional" to avoid the lying issue. IRL, you don't know someone's age before speaking to them. But if you do start speaking to them, in a dating scenario, age is a fairly normal part of the discussion.

[RedRobin]

If someone is going to reject you based on age, why would you want to keep them around any longer than necessary?

 

I agree. But you don't need to tell them your age (or whatever else you might want to keep to yourself) to find that out.

 

The OP has given this woman all the information she needs to make a decision about continuing to see him AND she gave him the option of opting out before a date. It is his problem that he decided to pursue more.

[xxoo]

I agree. But you don't need to tell them your age (or whatever else you might want to keep to yourself) to find that out.

 

The OP has given this woman all the information she needs to make a decision about continuing to see him AND she gave him the option of opting out before a date. It is his problem that he decided to pursue more.

 

You are assuming that he would reject her based on her age.

 

He might reject her based on age-related weirdness, but not on her age itself.

 

I guess in the end, it is just another form of compatibility beyond the age issue.

[FitChick]

she gave him the option of opting out before a date. It is his problem that he decided to pursue more.

 

I thought they had already met at least once.

 

Kaylan, you are so secure that I know you wouldn't mind in the least if your girlfriend answered your post coital question "Was that the best sex you've ever had or what, huh?" with (yawn) "It was okay. You might want to lose a few pounds though because I couldn't breathe. You were crushing me."

 

Red Robin, I just thought of a great answer to give a guy next time he is rude enough to ask your age: "I'm old enough to legally drink and have sex, too old to have a baby and too young to collect Social Security." I hope I can remember to use that one myself!

Edited February 19, 2013 by FitChick

[RedRobin]

I thought they had already met at least once.

 

Kaylan, you are so secure that I know you wouldn't mind in the least if your girlfriend answered your post coital question "Was that the best sex you've ever had or what, huh?" with (yawn) "It was okay. You might want to lose a few pounds though because I couldn't breathe. You were crushing me."

 

Red Robin, I just thought of a great answer to give a guy next time he is rude enough to ask your age: "I'm old enough to legally drink and have sex, too old to have a baby and too young to collect Social Security." I hope I can remember to use that one myself!

 

Yes, they have met at least once... but before they met and when they were talking on the phone, she volunteered that she was older than the age on her profile.

 

He could have bailed then if it were a problem.

 

It is easy enough to just say, "Hey, I'm not going to press you on your age... but if you are older than XX amount, I don't think it is going to work." Everyone gets to save face.

 

And about the snappy comebacks... yea, I'll be dreaming up a few myself. Another one is to pretend you didn't hear the question and say "hey, whaddya think of so-in-so?" Some celebrity who is about the same age/fitness level as you... and see what he says.

[Keenly]

I honestly don't care why some one lies to me. The fact is they still lied to me. If a woman lied to me about her age... I don't care Why she did it.... she still told me a non truth to further her agenda. Even if it's a good agenda... even if its a reason such as "I really like you and I was scared that if you knew, you wouldn't like me" its still a lie. If she would lie to be with me... what would she lie about to hide something ?

 

 

Just be honest ladies.... I see so many posts blaming men for the lies that women have told. Talk about a lack of personal responsibility. If you lie to a potential significant other, you can't turn around and blame the person you lied to.

 

Do you really want to be with some one that you need to lie to in order to be with them?

[RedRobin]

I honestly don't care why some one lies to me. The fact is they still lied to me. If a woman lied to me about her age... I don't care Why she did it.... she still told me a non truth to further her agenda. Even if it's a good agenda... even if its a reason such as "I really like you and I was scared that if you knew, you wouldn't like me" its still a lie. If she would lie to be with me... what would she lie about to hide something ?

 

 

Just be honest ladies.... I see so many posts blaming men for the lies that women have told. Talk about a lack of personal responsibility. If you lie to a potential significant other, you can't turn around and blame the person you lied to.

 

Do you really want to be with some one that you need to lie to in order to be with them?

 

I know two women who both lied to their now husbands about something before they were married.

 

The first has been happily married now for over 25 years. She lied about having had an abortion when she was younger.

 

The second has been happily married now for going on 15 years. She lied and told him she'd only been engaged once before.

 

Women lie because the questions many men ask have zero relevance to the things that actually make relationships last. The questions men ask have mostly to do with their egos.

 

So... ask questions about things that matter for a change... and on things you can verify... try that.

[Lonely Ronin]

I know two women who both lied to their now husbands about something before they were married.

 

The first has been happily married now for over 25 years. She lied about having had an abortion when she was younger.

 

The second has been happily married now for going on 15 years. She lied and told him she'd only been engaged once before.

 

Women lie because the questions many men ask have zero relevance to the things that actually make relationships last. The questions men ask have mostly to do with their egos.

 

So... ask questions about things that matter for a change... and on things you can verify... try that.

 

I would have a real problem with both those women, those aren't exactly trivial things to lie about.

[Ruby Slippers]

Women lie because the questions many men ask have zero relevance to the things that actually make relationships last. The questions men ask have mostly to do with their egos.

So men don't even get a chance to know the truth and make their own decision? Only women can be trusted to handle the truth properly? In your view, women are justified in lying to get what they want - because "women know best"?

[RedRobin]

I would have a real problem with both those women, those aren't exactly trivial things to lie about.

 

Well, neither had any effect on the outcomes of their marriages... in the slightest...

 

I've spent my life being honest... even radically honest. Hasn't gotten me anywhere becauuuuuuuse...

 

the questions most men ask have zero to do with anything that relates to relationship longetivity....

 

... ponder it for awhile... the things that likely you and lots of other men deem important don't mean a hill of beans in the big scheme of things... IF finding a lasting relationship is important to you...

 

If all you want is someone who strokes your ego... that's easy... ask all the silly questions you want...

[kaylan]

Amazing...isnt it gents?

 

Its amazing how age shouldnt be relevant in getting to know or dating someone. But lord knows women make age an issue if a guy dates someone much younger than him and says "age is irrelevant".

 

And its also amazing how people are rationalizing lying only when it benefits them. Boys, these are the women not to date.

You are right Kaylan... next time you go on a date... make sure you tell them you really just wanna bang them for a year or two max and get some dating/f*cking experience. See how that goes over.

Wtf are you talking about? First off, women I date know my intention before we ever get physical. If I see a girl as a short term or long term prospect, she will know way before any sex.

 

Secondly, why are you putting words in my mouth? When have I ever said I wanted to date anyone for one or two years max? Grow the fvk up.

Not insecure at all. Just really keen on the ways men try to bin women.... in ways that have zero to do with her integrity or anything else about her.

Wait wait, so because some men bin women in ways you dont like, and because some guys also rule out some women due to her age (because of different life stages), this is why you rationalize lying and hiding things? Some great reasoning there.

I know very well the things lots of men are insecure about... and if they wanna play that, we can go there. Yep.

Seriously...are you a teenager? So because you are insecure about your age--something that is relevant information to be shared early on in dating--you think its cool to keep score and bring up things to purposefully make the guy feel insecure? By all means do that. But Im not insecure about most things. And a girl who keeps score and is insecure is someone who wont make it to date number two.

uh huh. See above. You keep what you want to yourself until you decide when to share, same as anyone else.

I dont "keep" things to myself. I answer question when they are asked of me, very willingly. And I also outright share info even if the person didnt ask to hear it. Me and a girl had a 3 hour convo a couple nights ago, and we basically checked off ever box in the "things you dont tell someone you just started talking to" list. We were open books and didnt care. It was a fun convo and there was no biggie.

 

And guess what? Shes older than me.

I thought they had already met at least once.

 

Kaylan, you are so secure that I know you wouldn't mind in the least if your girlfriend answered your post coital question "Was that the best sex you've ever had or what, huh?" with (yawn) "It was okay. You might want to lose a few pounds though because I couldn't breathe. You were crushing me."

First off, Im not insecure, so why would I need to ever ask a girl if thats the best sex she ever had? What loser asks someone that? Only guys who lack confidence in their love making ability ask that.

 

And trust me honey, I dont need to lose any pounds at all. If youve seen pics of me I could actually stand to gain weight.

[kaylan]

So men don't even get a chance to know the truth and make their own decision? Only women can be trusted to handle the truth properly? In your view, women are justified in lying to get what they want - because "women know best"?

This.

 

Its amazing how guys are always filleted alive in threads when we talk about them lying, or when a guy rationalizes dishonesty...but now the women here want to pull this crap in this thread?

 

And then they wanna bitch about guys who dont commit or do what they want them to. Why in the world would a guy like me rush to find a gf when I know too many women who rationalize lying about things when it benefits them? And this isnt just when it comes to age...but even more important things.

Well, neither had any effect on the outcomes of their marriages... in the slightest...

 

I've spent my life being honest... even radically honest. Hasn't gotten me anywhere becauuuuuuuse...

 

the questions most men ask have zero to do with anything that relates to relationship longetivity....

 

... ponder it for awhile... the things that likely you and lots of other men deem important don't mean a hill of beans in the big scheme of things... IF finding a lasting relationship is important to you...

 

If all you want is someone who strokes your ego... that's easy... ask all the silly questions you want...

Ok.

 

So when you get married and find out from your husband of 5 years, that before he got married, he used hookers a few times, and cheated a couple times in his past but didnt tell you....then dont get mad when he says it wasnt relevant to the relationship you two have.

 

Because I mean it had nothing to do with you...and of course the past has no real bearing on the future . If my wife lied to me about things, itd likely cause an issue in our marriage...because Id wonder what else she lied to me about for years

I would have a real problem with both those women, those aren't exactly trivial things to lie about.

Yeah, I dont get what abortions and being engaged in the past have to do with a mans ego. Personally I wouldnt be bothered by either of those things. Im pro choice, and I know women have usually been in love in the past before they met me. But what would greatly bother me is lying about these things. Itd open the flood gates in my mind wondering what else this lying woman has kept from me.

 

Selfishness and dishonesty arent attractive in a mate.

Edited February 19, 2013 by kaylan

[Keenly]

Your changing the topic robin....

 

If she chooses to not tell me about her abortion. That's super personal information. But their age ? That's a BS thing to lie about. Your justifying dishonesty and your reasons are full of holes and hot air.

[Keenly]

I'm hearing a hypocritical double standard that women are allowed to lie but men aren't.

[RedRobin]

And a girl who keeps score and is insecure is someone who wont make it to date number two.

 

The goal isn't to make it to date number two. Nor is it to keep score.

 

 

I dont "keep" things to myself.

 

That's because you don't have much of your 'book' written. Stakes are low for you.

 

You are swimming in a small pond, guppy.

[RedRobin]

Your changing the topic robin....

 

If she chooses to not tell me about her abortion. That's super personal information. But their age ? That's a BS thing to lie about. Your justifying dishonesty and your reasons are full of holes and hot air.

 

fine... like I said... bring your paystub, your credit report, and recent credit card statement on the first date.

 

Then you can call it even.

[kaylan]

I'm hearing a hypocritical double standard that women are allowed to lie but men aren't.

This (10 char)

Edited February 20, 2013 by kaylan

[Keenly]

fine... like I said... bring your paystub, your credit report, and recent credit card statement on the first date.

 

Then you can call it even.

 

You can't be serious.... that's the single most ridiculous argument I have ever heard. Not even close to same thing.

 

Pay stubs and credit reports are personal information. Your age is on your drivers license.

 

 

I don't tolerate hypocrisy. If your age is too personal to share then my.heart is too personal to share with some one that doesn't even posses the basic level of enough trust to tell me her age...

 

 

If you can lie about your age then I can lie about that girl I have on the side. Fair is fair right? Or is that not okay.

[kaylan]

The goal isn't to make it to date number two. Nor is it to keep score.

Obviously you are making it a game and trying to keep score when you say things like "Im gonna ask him things to make him insecure if hes gonna ask about my age". Thats basically what you said. Dont try and take it back now.

That's because you don't have much of your 'book' written. Stakes are low for you.

 

You are swimming in a small pond, guppy.

Wtf are you talking about? Even if I had all the things I wanted to do in my life done, and I was 35, Id still not "keep" things to myself. I will ALWAYS be an open book. I have nothing to hide, I own my actions and my past, and Im not insecure about trivial things.

 

Spare me this bs crap like calling me "guppy". I am no child, and if you are going to go the typical older person route of trying to patronize me because of my age, please go elsewhere.

[serial muse]

I think it's silly and self-defeating to lie about your age. I know people who have done this, and I just don't see how that can ever end well. At some point, you have to admit you lied, and there's no way that's going to come out in a positive way. (Or I suppose you could lie indefinitely, like the woman the OP wrote about is apparently planning to do. That just seems exhausting.)

 

So I don't think it's smart or effective or ultimately helpful. And yes, it's deceitful.

 

That said, yes, there is an awful lot of pressure on women not to be older than 35. And ugh, I can see that if you're getting the message from your family, in various ways and throughout your life, that you should lie about your age because it's somehow "feminine", on top of the "women have a limited shelf life" thing - well, that's good old-fashioned brainwashing, and it would probably do a number on your head. So that would suck.

 

Still, it doesn't make the lying OK.

 

To sum up, it's not OK, I feel bad for this woman that her internal critic makes her do this weird thing, but it doesn't sound like something you'd want to sign up for, OP. I wouldn't be OK with it.

[sid3]

Obviously you are making it a game and trying to keep score when you say things like "Im gonna ask him things to make him insecure if hes gonna ask about my age". Thats basically what you said. Dont try and take it back now.

 

Wtf are you talking about? Even if I had all the things I wanted to do in my life done, and I was 35, Id still not "keep" things to myself. I will ALWAYS be an open book. I have nothing to hide, I own my actions and my past, and Im not insecure about trivial things.

 

Spare me this bs crap like calling me "guppy". I am no child, and if you are going to go the typical older person route of trying to patronize me because of my age, please go elsewhere.

 

Oh come on brah, just give her a *kanye shrug* and be done with it already. Be glad she called you a guppy. Pretty generous in my opinion. After all the butthurt threads I've seen, I'd have said pollywog.

[RedRobin]

You can't be serious.... that's the single most ridiculous argument I have ever heard. Not even close to same thing.

 

Pay stubs and credit reports are personal information. Your age is on your drivers license.

 

It is the same thing... your age can help or hurt your chances to find work too.

 

The only reason people have their age on their driver's license is because it is used to check whether they are of age to drink or smoke. Before there was such a thing as driver's licenses, people's ages were written on their birth certificates and that is it.

 

 

I don't tolerate hypocrisy. If your age is too personal to share then my.heart is too personal to share with some one that doesn't even posses the basic level of enough trust to tell me her age...

 

Sorry... lots of women share their ages and more and it has no bearing whatsoever on whether men share their 'hearts' or not...

 

You guys will have to come up with some more lame reasons why you don't share your hearts besides that one.

 

If you can lie about your age then I can lie about that girl I have on the side. Fair is fair right? Or is that not okay.

 

Women telling the truth or not about their age has no bearing whatsoever on whether a guy will tell the truth about whether he has a girl on the side.