RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Obviously you are making it a game and trying to keep score when you say things like "Im gonna ask him things to make him insecure if hes gonna ask about my age". Thats basically what you said. Dont try and take it back now. Not trying to take anything back. But I agree, it is a game. One that lots of guys play... we see it here everyday on LS. The woman the OP is complaining about found a way around this, and it is chapping his backside... like she owes him something. I still don't understand why he cares about her age so much. She's not the age he hoped she'd be, so move on. Big deal. Continuing to see her just to get her to spill her secrets is retarded and kinda mean if you think about it. Why? So he has some lame story to tell his friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 So I'm still waiting for why women can lie but men can't. So far nothing you have retorted with makes sense. Completely illogical. If you lie about something small.... you will lie about something big. Are you really trying to say the fact that the woman is a liar won't affect a mans choice to be with her? I can't believe women exist that seriously think its okay to lie about this Too many fake people nowadays. Anyone with any self respect would not tolerate a pathological liar. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I'm hearing a hypocritical double standard that women are allowed to lie but men aren't. I don't care if a man lies about his age. Many have. I just want him to look like his freakin' photos for a change! Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Actually you know what robin. Ignore my last post. Its hypocrisy test time. Let's say you and I for whatever reason are on the first date. I tell you I make 250,000 a year. Then you find out I actually only make 60,000 a year. What's your opinion of me now ? Your either going to not be interested anymore, because I lied to you... or you will lie to win the argument. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I don't care if a man lies about his age. Many have. I just want him to look like his freakin' photos for a change! Both sexes are guilty of that lie. But I hope I am not reading what you are saying correctly. What I hear is " I do not care if he lies to me about his age, THEREFORE, its OKAY for me to lie to him about mine. " Did I read too much into it or is that a true statement ? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) Actually you know what robin. Ignore my last post. Its hypocrisy test time. Let's say you and I for whatever reason are on the first date. I tell you I make 250,000 a year. Then you find out I actually only make 60,000 a year. What's your opinion of me now ? Your either going to not be interested anymore, because I lied to you... or you will lie to win the argument. I don't care how much money a guy makes as long as he can take care of himself. I care more about his spending habits. Hence the credit report and credit card statement If he's a billionaire and over his eyeballs in debt and a workaholic that would be less interesting to me than a guy who likes his work, is good at it, makes a modest salary, and lives within his means. I wouldn't have been impressed with the $250K in the first place and that is not why I'd date a guy. Odds are pretty good he'd confess his real salary to me because I don't press him on it and I have lots of fun doing things that don't cost a lot of money that will help him let his guard down. I get it that men face a lot of pressure to appear well-off. The OP could offer this bit of empathy to the woman he is talking about too. Doesn't mean he has to date her... but his incessant pushing is not helping things. Some of you folks are trying to put a label on things that resist labels. That's why I suspect the age thing is about your ego and what you tell your friends/family and not based on much practical. Edited February 20, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 So I'm still waiting for why women can lie but men can't. So far nothing you have retorted with makes sense. Completely illogical. If you lie about something small.... you will lie about something big. Are you really trying to say the fact that the woman is a liar won't affect a mans choice to be with her? I can't believe women exist that seriously think its okay to lie about this Too many fake people nowadays. Anyone with any self respect would not tolerate a pathological liar. Not true. The women I mentioned who lied about something before marriage have been completely faithful and are wonderful spouses and mothers. Interesting story though... the one woman I know who IS currently cheating on her H was completely open about everything in her life beforehand. True story. She's been carrying on her affair for a year and I couldn't stand it anymore. I unfriended her from Facebook and am taking a break from my ballet class in favor of a different one in order to sever my friendship with her. It's sad. So no... I think people are a lot more complex than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 There is zero correlation between the success of your friends relationship and why its okay for women to lie about trivial things. The evidence you point out is non sequitor. What correlation does your friends abortion and a woman's age have to do with each other? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I don't care how much money a guy makes as long as he can take care of himself. I care more about his spending habits. Hence the credit report and credit card statement If he's a billionaire and over his eyeballs in debt and a workaholic that would be less interesting to me than a guy who likes his work, is good at it, makes a modest salary, and lives within his means. I wouldn't have been impressed with the $250K in the first place and that is not why I'd date a guy. Odds are pretty good he'd confess his real salary to me because I don't press him on it and I have lots of fun doing things that don't cost a lot of money that will help him let his guard down. I get it that men face a lot of pressure to appear well-off. The OP could offer this bit of empathy to the woman he is talking about too. Doesn't mean he has to date her... but his incessant pushing is not helping things. Some of you folks are trying to put a label on things that resist labels. That's why I suspect the age thing is about your ego and what you tell your friends/family and not based on much practical. You keep bringing stuff up that has nothing to do with the topic at hand... and out keep saying things that don't make any sense at all..... what are we labeling exactly ? Are you saying that some one who gives a false age isn't lying ? That's the question at hand.... WHYAIS it okay for a woman to lie about her age? Why would a man trust a woman that lies about something so small? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 There is zero correlation between the success of your friends relationship and why its okay for women to lie about trivial things. The evidence you point out is non sequitor. What correlation does your friends abortion and a woman's age have to do with each other? You are trying to claim that people who lie about anything will lie about everything or will lie about really big things... not true. I just gave you an example of someone who didn't lie about anything... but is lying now about something big and has for awhile. sorry that people don't fit into boxes. That's my point. You have to look at the sum of their lives. I get it you don't want to take that chance. That is your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 You are trying to claim that people who lie about anything will lie about everything or will lie about really big things... not true. I just gave you an example of someone who didn't lie about anything... but is lying now about something big and has for awhile. sorry that people don't fit into boxes. That's my point. You have to look at the sum of their lives. I get it you don't want to take that chance. That is your choice. Alright fair enough, that point I made is negated. Answer the question though, why is it okay to lie to your potential significant other . Just one question I've asked over and over again. What makes lying okay.... regardless of what its about? Do people really have no honor anymore? All we have in life is our reputation and our word. So many people are willing to sacrifice their honor in order to change the perception of themselves. I'm assuming its because deep down.. people lie about the things they hate about themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) WHYAIS it okay for a woman to lie about her age? Why would a man trust a woman that lies about something so small? Why is it 'ok'? She didn't lie. She gave the OP a way out. He chose not to take it. If you felt the only way you could avoid being celibate or binned as a FWB/f*ckbuddy was to lie, you might lie. That is the position many women are forced into. I'm asking you to develop some empathy. That's all. Me, I prefer to be celibate. But it is tempting to lie. I haven't ruled it out at all. Currently I just refuse to respond when asked. If they ask, it is over and they are done. Effectively friend-zoned. I'm not interested in men who are age obsessed or associate their manhood with the age of the women they date. Edited February 20, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Alright fair enough, that point I made is negated. Answer the question though, why is it okay to lie to your potential significant other . Just one question I've asked over and over again. What makes lying okay.... regardless of what its about? Do people really have no honor anymore? All we have in life is our reputation and our word. So many people are willing to sacrifice their honor in order to change the perception of themselves. I'm assuming its because deep down.. people lie about the things they hate about themselves. It is not that simple. People lie for lots of reasons. Some for simple survival. I've have spent my life putting myself in men's shoes (I'm obliged to since I work around all men). The men here could take a moment and put themselves in women's shoes for a change. You don't have to like it. You don't have to date them or change your preferences... but you could try and understand a little. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 It is not that simple. People lie for lots of reasons. Some for simple survival. I've have spent my life putting myself in men's shoes (I'm obliged to since I work around all men). The men here could take a moment and put themselves in women's shoes for a change. You don't have to like it. You don't have to date them or change your preferences... but you could try and understand a little. So its a double standard then? Its okay for women to lie, but not men. I get it now. Link to post Share on other sites
crude Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Women are taking this a little too personally. In a sport like baseball, a guy from the Dominican Republics lies about his age so he'll look like a hot young prospect of 17 and not a 22 year old who doesn't seem to be good enough for the Major Leagues. A 38 year old sounds like he's about to hit the wall, but that 5 year lie makes it seem like a 33 year old that has a few good years left. Eventually age overtakes women who've built their lives on looks instead of accomplishments. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GirlontheLam Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) I didn't read all the posts, but I will tell you. Sometimes I think about lying about my age. I have no problems with it (and I know I am still "young") but I do find it interesting I'll have a great conversation with someone (i.e. the right type to settle down with), and we do the age exchange and they suddenly back off..... They are typically 5 years younger than I. It is only in recent months that I have been getting legit attention from people older than me. Sometimes it pays off to lie about your age. And I'd hope that most of you are well aware the vast majority of female celebs lie about their age to keep getting work. Even when they look great for their age. We have been trained. Edited February 20, 2013 by GirlontheLam Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Well, neither had any effect on the outcomes of their marriages... in the slightest... Well, there husbands are pretty odd then, because most people (man or woman) would have a problem with being lied to about things such has engagements & abortions. I've spent my life being honest... even radically honest. Hasn't gotten me anywhere becauuuuuuuse... So because being honest hasn't worked for you, that makes lying from now on ok? ... ponder it for awhile... the things that likely you and lots of other men deem important don't mean a hill of beans in the big scheme of things... IF finding a lasting relationship is important to you... So basically any thing a guy might care to know about is insignificant then, as far as you are concerned? One other thing, what is with all the pissy "....." attitude? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 As another data point, being honest has worked out very well for me. Take it or leave it, this is who I is. I gotta be me. If you don't like it, I'm not going to lie or fake it for you. Yes, that includes faking it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
zebracolors Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 yes, I don't lie about my age when asked (because I don't want to start anything off with a lie). But there have been times when I wondered if my age would be a deal breaker, like before they ask or find out. Many have been surprised to find out I am older than 30. But so far its not been a deal breaker. I suppose I have the mindset that if he is going to be uncomfortable with my age, than he's probably not going to be comfortable going into anything like a relationship with me. This will help me weed out those guys when I am ready for serious relationships again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 So, OP, you've seen the big debate happening here.... But what are you going to do about this woman? Are you going to see her again? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 But what are you going to do about this woman? Are you going to see her again? I heard they ran off to Vegas and got married. Link to post Share on other sites
runningfar Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Have we somehow distorted basic morality and principles and concluded lying is okay and excusable if it suits your purposes yet? I will not lie to a guy and he better not lie to me. I am not saying I won't forgive but it will take much, much more than whatever is being lied about would have on its own. If someone excuses small lies, they have shown the thought process necessary to excusing bigger ones later if it comes up in their favor. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I will not lie to a guy and he better not lie to me. "Honey, how do I look in this new dress?" "You look like a cheap whore." Be careful what you wish for... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) "Honey, how do I look in this new dress?" "You look like a cheap whore." Be careful what you wish for... Said no guy ever. and in response to the "Have some empathy" comment : I am the most empathetic person I have ever met in my entire life. I have no empathy for some one who lies, because I have been on the receiving end of those lies before... Lets use some ridiculous examples to illustrate the ridiculous. That guy is cheating on his girlfriend who loves him very much. Have some empathy for him, put yourself in his shoes. That rapist couldn't get any on his own, have some empathy for him. The murderer got offended by the cruel comment directed his way, have some empathy for him. I have empathy for people who genuinely deserve it. Liars do not. Edited February 20, 2013 by Keenly Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Said no guy ever. and in response to the "Have some empathy" comment : I am the most empathetic person I have ever met in my entire life. I have no empathy for some one who lies, because I have been on the receiving end of those lies before... Lets use some ridiculous examples to illustrate the ridiculous. That guy is cheating on his girlfriend who loves him very much. Have some empathy for him, put yourself in his shoes. That rapist couldn't get any on his own, have some empathy for him. The murderer got offended by the cruel comment directed his way, have some empathy for him. I have empathy for people who genuinely deserve it. Liars do not. You are going to have a hard time convincing me (and probably most people) that not telling your age is the 'slippery slope' on one's way to becoming a rapist, a murderer, or someone who cheats. Considering the fact that most of the human beings who do such things are men... not women... you'd think that we'd have an epidemic of guys who lie about age on their path to becoming serial killers... ha ha. If we want to talk about pathological behavior that results in the most harm to people, you will have to look to men first, I'm afraid. They are the ones who make up the vast majority of people in prison and mental institutions. ... but the truth is you need to hold onto the idea with a friggin' DEATH GRIP that women must be barfing out whatever information you want for YOUR convenience... and that you get to sit back and judge whether she is 'worthy' over retarded, trivial things that have no bearing on success of relationships whatsoever. Information that in the big scheme of things only affects her and not you in ANY meaningful way except what you tell your friends and family.... or what makes you and your d*ck feel special. ... and THAT folks... is how desperately hard some men feel the need to protect their own egos. Link to post Share on other sites
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