RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 A lie is a lie and I have the right to know someone I'm dating is within my age preference! I don't really have an age preference right now as I don't have enough r exp to know if/when I really want to settle down. When I was 29 I went on a date with a 42 year old. So tell them what your age preference is and let her decide to walk if she doesn't meet it. What the guys are objecting to is telling women what their age preferences are. They'd rather keep that a secret, ask the woman's age, then do the 'picking' themselves. That is why they hate it so much. My method means the woman picks. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Is anyone surprised that alot of guys here absolutely HATE the idea that there are other ways to filter them out? I'd rather no woman lets herself get binned by idiots who think they are entitled to pick and choose like some ranch hand at a cattle show... We are idiots now because we want to pick and choose who we want to date and Marry... do you hear yourself ? So who picks wife then..... I guess having standards for.myself is discriminatory or something. cnt believe what you are saying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Why would anybody want a man who would dismiss them over age anyway? Be truthful and screen the ageists from the get go. It's not that simple. I don't know if I want him yet. Let him tell me his age preferences, then *I'll* decide. Besides... There is some value in knowing if a guy treats you differently based on the age he thinks you are... especially since so many screen on nothing else of any substance... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 So tell them what your age preference is and let her decide to walk if she doesn't meet it. What the guys are objecting to is telling women what their age preferences are. They'd rather keep that a secret, ask the woman's age, then do the 'picking' themselves. That is why they hate it so much. My method means the woman picks. Both should do some picking. I'd rather feel picked, personally! Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Why would anybody want a man who would dismiss them over age anyway? Be truthful and screen the ageists from the get go. Exactly. This is what I was trying to say but Woggle did it more succinctly. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 We are idiots now because we want to pick and choose who we want to date and Marry... do you hear yourself ? So who picks wife then..... I guess having standards for.myself is discriminatory or something. cnt believe what you are saying. No, you are idiots for thinking you don't have to be upfront about your preferences... and that she owes you information. I'm sure a lot of men don't like feeling like they are as shallow as they really are or would appear to be... so they place the burden on the woman to come forward... and I'm telling women they don't need to. Find some coy way to get him to fess up... and if he won't, then there is probably lots of other stuff he won't fess up about either. I mean, if he won't share his age preferences with you, what else will he withhold? Next time, if the topic comes up, just state your preferences, or is that too scary for you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Both should do some picking. I'd rather feel picked, personally! Apparently women are allowed to pick.... and lie.... Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Here's a novel idea..... How about a conversation where two early-dating people discuss their ages, their age preferences, and how they feel about their relative ages as it relates to relationship potential? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 What the guys are objecting to is telling women what their age preferences are. They'd rather keep that a secret, ask the woman's age, then do the 'picking' themselves. That is why they hate it so much. My method means the woman picks. BS........ What we are objecting to is your insistence that they guy tell the woman everything, while she shares nothing about her self. Reference your comments about credit score , and paystubs. It sounds like you think women should be put up on pedestal and than men should prove they are worthy of her attention. Is that about right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Here's a novel idea..... How about a conversation where two early-dating people discuss their ages, their age preferences, and how they feel about their relative ages as it relates to relationship potential? Because that would make too much sense and it would actually be fair. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Both should do some picking. Red seems to think only women are worthy enough to pick! Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Both should do some picking. I'd rather feel picked, personally! I'd rather be picked for something more substantial than my age and looks.... alas, this is about as deep as many men can manage. If that's the best they can do, I'm not interested. Which is another reason I don't answer. Asking my age isn't about getting to know me. Them telling me their age preferences ARE about getting to know them.... which is why they don't like it. It means they have to be vulnerable and perhaps risk looking shallow. AWWWWW!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I'd rather be picked for something more substantial than my age and looks.... alas, this is about as deep as many men can manage. When it comes to choosing a mate, nearly all pick based on more than looks and age. And nearly all have relationships. Therefore, nearly all men are concerned with more than looks and age. It is more of a litmus test: must pass looks and age to move on to other considerations. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) BS........ What we are objecting to is your insistence that they guy tell the woman everything, while she shares nothing about her self. Reference your comments about credit score , and paystubs. It sounds like you think women should be put up on pedestal and than men should prove they are worthy of her attention. Is that about right? Hey, I'm not the one insisting on asking personal questions. Do recall that I don't ask men's age OR income. I allow them to volunteer it. I allow people to volunteer quite a lot and don't pry. Seems to be a better method of building trust than insisting the other person 'come clean' about anything. State your needs. Give them a polite 'out' and a way to save face. You'll find that exchanges are lots more pleasant that way. Really not that complicated. Guess my Southern roots are showing. ... here is an example... I tell men that before I will become sexually intimate with them, that we will both need to get tested for the full range of STDs. I don't ask them if they have an STD. I just state my criteria. Same thing with the credit score. We would exchange credit scores and discuss spending habits before agreeing to be in a relationship. He doesn't have to tell me his credit score, and he has a polite way out that doesn't infringe on his privacy if he doesn't want to go along with that. I imagine it would be fair to suggest that you both look at each other's IDs before becoming sexually intimate. Edited February 20, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 When it comes to choosing a mate, nearly all pick based on more than looks and age. And nearly all have relationships. Therefore, nearly all men are concerned with more than looks and age. It is more of a litmus test: must pass looks and age to move on to other considerations. OK... I have my own litmus test then. Must not be obsessed with looks or age in order to move onto other considerations with me... and the only way he can prove that to me is by not asking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I tell men that before I will become sexually intimate with them, that we will both need to get tested for the full range of STDs. I don't ask them if they have an STD. I just state my criteria. Same thing with the credit score. We would exchange credit scores and discuss spending habits before agreeing to be in a relationship. He doesn't have to tell me his credit score, and he has a polite way out that doesn't infringe on his privacy if he doesn't want to go along with that. How early in dating are you bringing this up? Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Must not be obsessed with looks or age in order to move onto other considerations with me... and the only way he can prove that to me is by not asking. So are you saying you don't care what the guy looks like or how old he is? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Red seems to think only women are worthy enough to pick! most women aren't as shallow as most men... and they are the ones who are usually looking for relationships, while men are mostly trying to weasel a piece of *ss. So, yes, women do the picking. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 How early in dating are you bringing this up? Its cool her to demand a blood test.... but if he asks how old she is... that's too invasive. The hypocrisy is ridiculous and you can cut it with a spoon. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 So are you saying you don't care what the guy looks like or how old he is? I screen on character first. Always. It's too bad that so few of any age have much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 most women aren't as shallow as most men... and they are the ones who are usually looking for relationships, while men are mostly trying to weasel a piece of *ss. So, yes, women do the picking. Sorry. You can't prove that statement by the way. Women are equally shallow about things other than looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 most women aren't as shallow as most men... and they are the ones who are usually looking for relationships, while men are mostly trying to weasel a piece of *ss. So, yes, women do the picking. Sorry. Well then I guess you have never meet anyone like me, or several of my guy friends. I Hope to god I never ever run into a woman like you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 most women aren't as shallow as most men... and they are the ones who are usually looking for relationships, while men are mostly trying to weasel a piece of *ss. So, yes, women do the picking. Sorry. We are all choosers waiting to be chosen. Thats how it works no one gender has exclusive choosing privilages 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I screen on character first. Always. It's too bad that so few of any age have much. You didn't answer the question. So you don't screen at all on what the guy looks like? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Its cool her to demand a blood test.... but if he asks how old she is... that's too invasive. The hypocrisy is ridiculous and you can cut it with a spoon. Hey, those are the 'rules'. You missed the part where I thought it was fair to suggest you swap ID's before becoming sexually intimate. Link to post Share on other sites
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