RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 So I would assume that if I told RedRobin that I'm looking for someone that's open and honest, she would "self-select" and say "sorry Weezy, I'm not what you're looking for." I'd ask you if you were ok getting a background, credit check, and set of STD results on over to me before our next date and see how open and honest you cared to be after that Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'd ask you if you were ok getting a background, credit check, and set of STD results on over to me before our next date and see how open and honest you cared to be after that I don't understand how you see these things carrying the same weight. There's a HUGE night and day difference between asking someone how old they are than asking them for background checks, STD's and credit. I don't understand your logic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 If you really feel this negative towards men why are you even looking for one. Women have their swamps as well. I'm not this negative towards all men. My married male friends aren't like this. My dad and male relatives certainly aren't either... I don't have much respect for most single men these days. That is correct. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I don't understand how you see these things carrying the same weight. There's a HUGE night and day difference between asking someone how old they are than asking them for background checks, STD's and credit. I don't understand your logic. I view these things as necessary information before agreeing to become intimate with someone. So, to me... they are the same thing as men needing to be with a woman a certain age in order to feel secure and desire a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I view these things as necessary information before agreeing to become intimate with someone. So, to me... they are the same thing as men needing to be with a woman a certain age in order to feel secure and desire a relationship. RedRobin, do you have a preferred age range for the men you date, or are you open to just seeing who it is with whom you click? If you do, in fact, have a preferred range, what is it? Would you say it's hypocritical of you to have one but criticize men for also having one? Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I view these things as necessary information before agreeing to become intimate with someone. So, to me... they are the same thing as men needing to be with a woman a certain age in order to feel secure and desire a relationship. If I was progressing toward a relationship with a woman I'd be 100% ok with her wanting to know I'm STD free and wouldn't have a problem if she asked about my credit and criminal background. Now if she wanted to see and actual report I'd be a little freaked out and probably wouldn't handle it well. Anyway, those are intimate details that I'd share once things started to progress. Age is not an intimate detail, there's a huge difference. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Sounds like she wants a penis attached to a bottomless wallet. Absent a brain or mouth. Nope. I have my own money. I don't care about a man's income. Never have. Nor do I expect men to pay for dates either. I expect him to have a brain... on top of his shoulders primarily. If he's not skilled enough in conversation to come up with something other than "how old are you" when trying to get to know someone, then yea... that mouth is pretty useless. So... where is the OP?? I sincerely hope one of them ended this. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm not this negative towards all men. My married male friends aren't like this. My dad and male relatives certainly aren't either... I don't have much respect for most single men these days. That is correct. If you don't like single men then why are you even looking for one? That is what I want to know. Your married friends were single at one point as well. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm not this negative towards all men. My married male friends aren't like this. My dad and male relatives certainly aren't either... I don't have much respect for most single men these days. That is correct. I'm thinking of all the men I know who partnered up with the last few years. I don't think a single one of them would have met your expectations. But a woman did let them each in, and they are very happily partnered women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 If you do, in fact, have a preferred range, what is it? Would you say it's hypocritical of you to have one but criticize men for also having one? Where did I say it wasn't OK for people to have preferences? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 If you don't like single men then why are you even looking for one? That is what I want to know. Your married friends were single at one point as well. My married friends and family didn't meet using OLD. They met in HS or college. Occasionally at work... most are close in age to each other. They had other frames of reference to go by and a network of friends and co-workers to vouch for the other person's character... They got to know each other more the way I'm describing... in other words, they weren't strangers. Can't say I'm 'looking'. If someone interesting crosses my path in my social circle that can be vouched for, I may give him a chance. Random guys off the street? no way. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'd ask you if you were ok getting a background, credit check, and set of STD results on over to me before our next date and see how open and honest you cared to be after that And I'd gladly get tested for STDs if and when it looked like things might be heading towards a sexual relationship. I'd also gladly hand over a credit check if and when it looked like we might be joining our finances together. A "background" check seems a bit vague though. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Edited to add: This thread obviously isn't about the OP anymore. He ought to consider being more firm about his preferences, whatever they are, rather than create threads like this one if he can't be. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 People don't like to be pushed out of their comfort zones. If someone believed that people over 40 were unattractive, set in their ways, not fun to be with, boring, etc., but met someone to whom they were irresistibly drawn, they might become confused and start doubting themselves. For intelligent people, change is stimulating. For the slow witted, it's too much work to have to think differently. Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 So tell them what your age preference is and let her decide to walk if she doesn't meet it. What the guys are objecting to is telling women what their age preferences are. They'd rather keep that a secret, ask the woman's age, then do the 'picking' themselves. That is why they hate it so much. My method means the woman picks. Why does it have to be such a power struggle? Can't they pick each other? Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 OK... I have my own litmus test then. Must not be obsessed with looks or age in order to move onto other considerations with me... and the only way he can prove that to me is by not asking. A guy asking a woman her age implies he is obsessed with age. Seriously? Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I don't have much respect for most single men these days. That is correct. If you don't respect single guys, do you expect them to respect you? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I asked a male friend how he felt about total honesty in dating and relationships and he emailed: "Always an honest answer from me! (Well, whenever an honest answer is the right and best thing to say!)" Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I asked a male friend how he felt about total honesty in dating and relationships and he emailed: "Always an honest answer from me! (Well, whenever an honest answer is the right and best thing to say!)" Your friend sounds like a real winner......... I bet he wonders why he is still single......... Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) I'm thinking of all the men I know who partnered up with the last few years. I don't think a single one of them would have met your expectations. But a woman did let them each in, and they are very happily partnered women. Define 'partnered'. A guy asking a woman her age implies he is obsessed with age. Seriously? Yep. Most people don't have a habit of asking about things that aren't important to them. If you don't respect single guys, do you expect them to respect you? Most single guys don't respect women at all... that's the problem. Edited: No pun intended... this topic is getting really old and the OP has exited. The only reason you guys get so bent out of shape is because not knowing a woman's age makes it tougher for you to lie about your intentions and motives... and that is why you are so upset. Edited February 21, 2013 by RedRobin 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Define 'partnered'. 2 married, one newly engaged. One moving rapidly toward the same. Haven't you celebrated any weddings in recent years? Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 When some women are so afraid of aging due to losing their looks it tells me that they don't believe they have much to offer beside that Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 2 married, one newly engaged. One moving rapidly toward the same. Haven't you celebrated any weddings in recent years? Yes. None of them met online. They met the way I described above... and they don't live around here. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) When some women are so afraid of aging due to losing their looks it tells me that they don't believe they have much to offer beside that When some men are so wrapped up in their egos that they can't take time to get to know a woman, that tells me THEY don't have much to offer... ... and men's reaction to not knowing shows me that IS what they value more than anything else. .. now, I really should go.. all this time chatting on LS is pulling me away from the class I'm taking at Harvard and my piano lessons... These are two things I decided provided more long-term value than continuing to date the guy I just dumped... Edited February 21, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 When some men are so wrapped up in their egos that they can't take time to get to know a woman, that tells me THEY don't have much to offer... ... and men's reaction to not knowing shows me that IS what they value more than anything else. .. now, I really should go.. all this time chatting on LS is pulling me away from the class I'm taking at Harvard and my piano lessons... These are two things I decided provided more long-term value than continuing to date the guy I just dumped... I never said anything about men, hell this thread isn't even about men:laugh: What I said directly applies to men as well though. Anyone who gets that offended or upset at the thought of aging usually has nothing to offer outside of their looks so their scared they're losing their only asset. I'm not mad at them, but I call it like I see it. Link to post Share on other sites
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