Mme. Chaucer Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I don't think my age is sacred, but I do think it's none of your business. My husband says, "the only person who knows the real age of any woman is her mother and the doctor who pulled her out." In fact, he didn't even know my actual age. Not that I tried to hide it. He apologetically asked me for it when I got added to his medical insurance. Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Clarification... I'm not the one who starts the conversation about looks and age... the guys do. The more they talk about my age and how 'hot' I am... the more retarded I think they are... and it all starts with stupid, ungraceful questions asking how old I am. So, I don't tell them. Ends that line of conversation. If he persists, then he's REAALLY clueless. There doesn't need to be a long conversation. It's basic information that should be known early on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I don't think my age is sacred, but I do think it's none of your business. My husband says, "the only person who knows the real age of any woman is her mother and the doctor who pulled her out." In fact, he didn't even know my actual age. Not that I tried to hide it. He apologetically asked me for it when I got added to his medical insurance. The bolded reminds me of The Golden Girls When did you learn his age? Link to post Share on other sites
runningfar Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 An obscene number of pages later and I think I must rethink my honesty position. I will still tell anyone my age... It's hardly private information... But I am very embarrassed about how much of my life I have spent reading and commenting in this thread and might need to keep that close to my chest. Hi, I am Steve, what's your name? What do you mean tell you my name? That is private! Why is that all you are interested in anyhow?!?! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Do you even try to comprehend what other have posted before you respond? Just because statistically you can say that ALL men aren't like that (DUH!) doesn't entitle you to having women drop their filters just to make things easy for YOU. Where did I say I want a woman to drop her filters, please show me! About the only thing I demand (yes I mean this), when i first meet a woman, is that she treat me the way she wants to be treated. And unless I accidentally picked a crazy, that means treated with respect, and common courtesy. Lucky you... all you need to do to 'sort' effectively is go on looks and age. Lol, lot's of my female friends would strongly disagree with you. According to them I'm the most picky/high maintenance guy on the planet. It's an exaggeration, but It definitely sounds like I'm definitely a lot more picky then the guys you have been running into. And you are pissed that I'm suggesting women don't make that easy for you. Really I am? Please show me where I came off as pissed? Like you actually have to get to know her or maybe state your preferences first... like that is SOOOO difficult. Jeez. I have never had a problem in this department, and frankly never meet a woman who has either. Hell I had to show my drivers license to the last woman I dated because she didn't believe me when I told her my age. She was confident I was 6 or 7 years younger. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I don't think my age is sacred, but I do think it's none of your business. My husband says, "the only person who knows the real age of any woman is her mother and the doctor who pulled her out." In fact, he didn't even know my actual age. Not that I tried to hide it. He apologetically asked me for it when I got added to his medical insurance. Reminds me of a news story about an elderly married man whose wife had just died. Only then did he find out her real age. She was ten years older than he had thought, as well as older than he was, practically unheard of back then. He said it made no difference in how much he loved her. It was a rather sweet story. I think she was around 35 when they married and in those days, that was considered old maid territory so no wonder she lied. They were married for fifty years. Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate 2.0 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Not sure how this thread is still open honestly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I know many women are sensitive about age and I'm ok with that. I'd never ask a woman I don't know her age. BUT if we hit it off and exchange numbers and go on a date I'll ask on the first date and if she won't tell that's my cue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Why wouldn't you ask a woman how much she weighs or what her measurements are? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Why wouldn't you ask a woman how much she weighs or what her measurements are? Because that's the big red "Push here to initiate insecurity" button. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Why wouldn't you ask a woman how much she weighs or what her measurements are? Because as long as they like what they see regarding body size and shape, the numbers don't matter. With age, otoh, the numbers do matter, even if they like what they see. Not everyone is prepared to have a relationship with someone 20 years older, for example, even if they look younger. Even the posters objecting to the age inquiry have limits on what age ranges they will date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Because as long as they like what they see regarding body size and shape, the numbers don't matter. I had a friend who would always drop a ton of weight, meet a new guy and then gain it all back. That was her pattern. So what he saw wasn't necessarily what he was gonna get later on! That's the main reason I would hesitate dating a man with a history or obesity, even if he was thin when I met him. My fat friend would always be in the back of my mind... People just want guarantees in relationships, and that isn't possible. We all have to take risks. We all decide which risk is acceptable and base our decisions on that. Everyone is different, so there is ultimately someone for everyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I know many women are sensitive about age and I'm ok with that. I'd never ask a woman I don't know her age. BUT if we hit it off and exchange numbers and go on a date I'll ask on the first date and if she won't tell that's my cue. Ok, bring that pay stub and it's all cool... Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Well, I guess I'll chime in .... Let's just say that I'm a woman of a certain age! HAHAAAAA Anyhow, the truth is, I feel quite insecure about it. And these young folks that I hang with occasionally (socially, girls and guys in groups), don't know my age. They know that I'm older, but they find me so much fun and full of life. I guess I want to prolong my youth, or I'm in a mid-life crisis. However, if a younger man wanted to date me. If I were sincerely interested in exploring any possibilities between us, then I'd tell my age. I think it's only fair that he know in case he has ideas of being a biological father, when there's not much time for me. It's better that he know so he can make an informed decision. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedHead33 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I've met women and men that would ask me my age and I always say 25, because I know there is no way they would believe it. Why? Because that's my way of saying its none of your business. If you are serious of dating someone you should be able to tell if your age would matter to them. Some people care if you are educated, have a good job, have kids or not and some care about age difference. Many years ago, I dated this guy who told me he was 7 years older then me. I liked him and relationship was going well but then one night during out date he was taking out his card to pay the bill and he dropped his diver's licence. I picked it up and saw that he was 11 years older then me. I dropped him right then and there, not because I cared about his age, he didn't look his age and age didn't matter to me, he was great, but because he lied about something so stupid. If someone really likes you they should be honest about everything and if you believe that someone would not date you because you are of certain age then why would you give them a time of your day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 I picked it up and saw that he was 11 years older then me. I dropped him right then and there Question, after you spent that amount of time getting to know him, realizing how great he was, etc......you didn't think for a moment that didn't matter, because he's a "great guy" otherwise. That you didn't let it slide because he grew on you? Do you feel that you passed up on a good thing? Any regrets on that action you had taken in dumping him right then and there? Some might think this, I've even had friends tell me to lighten up, and just enjoy her company. Some feel, "Well, I'll lie about my age.....first, then I'll her her become attracted to me, like me for who I am, and she'll NEVER dump me if she finds out my age at a later time." But in your case....his plan blew up in his face? LOL Link to post Share on other sites
RedHead33 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Question, after you spent that amount of time getting to know him, realizing how great he was, etc......you didn't think for a moment that didn't matter, because he's a "great guy" otherwise. That you didn't let it slide because he grew on you? Do you feel that you passed up on a good thing? Any regrets on that action you had taken in dumping him right then and No regrets. I don't like liers and the fact that he knew age doesn't matter to me he should have handles the whole thing a lot different. He asked me I remember if I mind that he is 7 years older, and I didn't. He could have said the truth then. Yes he was great, but when someone lies to you about something so stupid at the beginning of the relationship, what else can you expect later on. Link to post Share on other sites
RedHead33 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) Btw I was a 20 yr old virgin and I did think what was 31yr old doing with me then. Edited February 24, 2013 by RedHead33 Spelling 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Btw I was a 20 yr old virgin and I did think what was 31yr old doing with me then. However now you are eternally 25 years old. "Lying about something that is so stupid", because you don't think it is anyone's business and they should be able to guess your intentions on the lie. Maybe that guy was doing the same thing, but sure...I understand. It's different when you do it lol Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) Ok... well, I've had situations where MUCH younger men pursued me for quite awhile. I'm sure they knew I was older... maybe much older, but for whatever reason, they or I felt it wasn't important. In getting to know them, I learned that having children either wasn't important or was a rather distant goal to them... I also learned that they didn't care if they had a family bio or adoption. It didn't work out due to other compatibility differences... but none of them were age related. When much older men approach me, or same age who feel the need to ask, I definitely get the sense that it is ALL about the gap and NOT about compatibility at all. I never lied about my age to the guy I recently dumped (we were the same age)... but in getting to know him, he definitely came across as someone who put that in as a 'demerit' of some kind... regardless of our compatibility in many other ways... Lying to his friend about my age is just one example. So I dumped him. So this is how the 'age' issue has come to be a litmus test for me. Like another poster suggested... most people have a pretty good idea what age you are and vice versa... especially once people start sharing their life experience... The problem with asking about age, income, etc... is that people draw on assumptions that have nothing to do with their underlying concerns and interests. Sure, I get it that people are doing 'shorthand'... but when I see men with no interest in having kids ask about age, it is all about their egos and what they tell their friends/family. Even the ones who ARE interested in having kids someday are doing some kind of 'math' in their heads rather than get to know the person. So, I think it is lame. Talk about your interests/concerns first if you really aren't shallow or you are trying to assess true compatibility. Edited February 24, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
RedHead33 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 However now you are eternally 25 years old. "Lying about something that is so stupid", because you don't think it is anyone's business and they should be able to guess your intentions on the lie. Maybe that guy was doing the same thing, but sure...I understand. It's different when you do it lol Read between lines. I am a married woman in mid 30's and all my friends, coworker ect know my age and I don't hide my age. When I meet someone through work or whatnot that mean nothing to me, my work or anything and first thing people ask me my age I find it inappropriate and for those my response is 25. Not because I'm ashamd of my age but rather then telling someone it's none of their business because it's unprofessional asking someone especially ur superior for age then get 25. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedHead33 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Imported, just like anything else there is time and place to discuss personal things. If you were in the store per example and a personal started chatting with you in the lineup and asked you for your age I wonder would you say your age, relationship status, income ect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Read between lines. I am a married woman in mid 30's and all my friends, coworker ect know my age and I don't hide my age. When I meet someone through work or whatnot that mean nothing to me, my work or anything and first thing people ask me my age I find it inappropriate and for those my response is 25. Not because I'm ashamd of my age but rather then telling someone it's none of their business because it's unprofessional asking someone especially ur superior for age then get 25. I did read between the lines. I get it. It is fine for you to be a liar. You have that all rationalized out where although you found it stupid for that guy to lie about his age, now that you are older....it's OK for you to lie about without it being anything but other people asking unprofessional and stupid questions. Got it. Link to post Share on other sites
RedHead33 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 You still don't get, I don't think you ever will. Telling a truth about your age to person you are dating has absolutely nothing to do with telling your age to a stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I wonder how much is generational, regarding the attitude that women are expected to be private about their age? I haven't noticed that attitude among my peers as we cross the 40 threshold. We're proud of our age! But even my grandmothers were candid about their age. They'd tell you straight: I'm an 85 year old woman! Can you believe that?! They are my role models 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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