nyccc Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Am getting really fed up with his strange behaviour and don't know what to do. Half the time he basically ignores me, will barely engage in conversation and is abrupt and snappy when I ask him questions. The rest of the time he is completely different - is friendly, teases me (a lot), will actually ask me if I need help with my work and makes much more effort generally. He switches so frequently and randomly that I'm pretty sure it can't be because of anything I'm doing to unknowingly annoy/offend him - it can literally be that he'll be nice one day then come in the next and ignore me all day. We work in a large team and he is normal with everyone else so why is he like this with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyccc Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Anyone? Forgot to say - i'm female, he's male obviously. I've been there about 6 months and he's been like this the whole time but seems to be getting worse now. Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Am getting really fed up with his strange behaviour and don't know what to do. Half the time he basically ignores me, will barely engage in conversation and is abrupt and snappy when I ask him questions. The rest of the time he is completely different - is friendly, teases me (a lot), will actually ask me if I need help with my work and makes much more effort generally. He switches so frequently and randomly that I'm pretty sure it can't be because of anything I'm doing to unknowingly annoy/offend him - it can literally be that he'll be nice one day then come in the next and ignore me all day. We work in a large team and he is normal with everyone else so why is he like this with me? Dont feel so bad 'cause my boss is very mean too . Sometimes my boss will be okay & buy the staff lunch & then the next minute he'll yell at me over something silly & then slam the door in my face. My boss had me sit at home for a week & finally called me this morning & said to report back to work tomorrow so I know what you'r going through just hang in there 'cause in this awful economy bosses are gonna take advantage. Link to post Share on other sites
Apolodor Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Maybe he is incompetent?! Most bosses feel a bit insecure when working with people who are more experienced/better educated than they are. Or maybe he's got a crush on you? I am a male and my boss is also male. Whenever we meet on the corridor or by the water cooler he hardly speaks to me and seems to ignore me completely. However, on a couple of ocassions I manage to persuade him have some longer professional discussions and I was impressed by how kind and professional he was (it was a pleasure talking to him). The people who are our bosses have their own work to do for their superiors and sometimes they are preocupied or worried just like we are. Just ignore him and carry on doing great work. You'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyccc Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Thanks NYC-BigKat - It's not actually that he's mean though - he's generally very friendly with everyone else and is popular at work, it's just with me that he gets so moody. I would normally just assume it was a personality clash and that he just didn't like me (and I could handle that) it's the fact that he's so inconsistent and can equally often be very nice to me. Apolodor - he has a lot more experience than me so has no reason to feel threatened but someone else has actually suggested that before as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Apolodor Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 I have a similar problem with one of the women in the HR department. She's popular and very friendly with everyone in my company, except me. Everytime I tried to ask her something she's moody or seems to be in a hurry. It used to kill me in the beginnning because I was seeing that she was treating everyone else with a lot more respect, but I've come to accept that people are what they are, and I don't let her behaviour affect me. The only thing you have control over is yourself. Don't let any negative personal feelings interfere with your work. Link to post Share on other sites
Esoteric Elf Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Am getting really fed up with his strange behaviour and don't know what to do. Half the time he basically ignores me, will barely engage in conversation and is abrupt and snappy when I ask him questions. The rest of the time he is completely different - is friendly, teases me (a lot), will actually ask me if I need help with my work and makes much more effort generally. He switches so frequently and randomly that I'm pretty sure it can't be because of anything I'm doing to unknowingly annoy/offend him - it can literally be that he'll be nice one day then come in the next and ignore me all day. We work in a large team and he is normal with everyone else so why is he like this with me? Meh, difficult to tell, especially in a professional setting. As a manager myself, I keep in mind all the time the differences between professionalism and pleasure, and try not to misinterpret the two, have others misinterpret them or mix them up. He may just be nice to you for the sake of being nice, but he always may be playing that all-too-common dating game of not coming off as needy. By not actively pursuing you all the time and making you second guess, he is not revealing his poker face to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyccc Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Thanks - I guess I can't expect anyone to magically tell me why he does it when I see him all the time and have no clue! Esoteric Elf - I've never seen it as him playing any sort of 'dating game' (he's married) but I am the only female on his team so I guess he may be concious of not appearing to treat me any differently (although that's exactly what he is doing) Link to post Share on other sites
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