Is he even human? Letter #4

[promises]

Letter #4:

 

"Please speak to me. I have so much anger right now and am in so much pain. I miss my friend. I miss you." Then it goes on to more about (His wifes) diagnosis, it's not good.... (and then more info on the diagnosis).... then more about how much pain he is in and confusion and anger at cancer. Then a bit about his own treatment for alcohol I believe and how that is going but with this new news of cancer and where it has spread he feels like he could lose it.

 

*I'm not making this up. This is honest to goodness what he said and how soap opera he is acting.

 

It goes on to say how he desperately needs a release and he's been writing and doing a few other things but nothing is helping to calm his anger and pain.

 

It was sent on Valentines Day. It is signed with, "Happy Valentines Day"...

[TaraMaiden]

ANOTHER Letter....?!

 

"Soap opera" is right....!

 

Is this a serial?!

 

Are you alright, here....?

 

Still not sure why you haven't blocked him.

 

But there, hours of entertainment.....!

[promises]

ANOTHER Letter....?!

 

"Soap opera" is right....!

 

Is this a serial?!

 

Are you alright, here....?

 

Still not sure why you haven't blocked him.

 

But there, hours of entertainment.....!

 

they are actual 'letters', like in the mailbox. Not inbox or text or email.

 

I have no idea if he's reading LS or not.

[Henni]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've not posted in a while but i've been reading your posts.

 

I want to say something constructive to help you get through this. All I can think of is, he's in a bad place. When you read about it, you are also getting to a bad place, right? You are struggling to get to a good place, and reading his letters are not helping, quite the opposite. I wonder if it's possible to just not read them? Are you rereading? can you destroy them somehow and just repeat to yourself that you can't help him, he's not helping you, and you need to communicate only with people who can help you get happy?

 

I guess the moment when you can chuck an unopened letter in the fire with a peaceful feeling of - this isn't helping either of us - is the move on moment. I send you a hug.

[promises]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've not posted in a while but i've been reading your posts.

 

I want to say something constructive to help you get through this. All I can think of is, he's in a bad place. When you read about it, you are also getting to a bad place, right? You are struggling to get to a good place, and reading his letters are not helping, quite the opposite. I wonder if it's possible to just not read them? Are you rereading? can you destroy them somehow and just repeat to yourself that you can't help him, he's not helping you, and you need to communicate only with people who can help you get happy?

 

I guess the moment when you can chuck an unopened letter in the fire with a peaceful feeling of - this isn't helping either of us - is the move on moment. I send you a hug.

 

thanks, Henni!

 

Yes. I suppose I am still interested in what he has to say with each new letter enough to open them. I'm in the best place I've been in since this all happened and dday, but, not 100% just yet. Getting there at a much faster pace lately.

[Henni]

Well, it's letter number 4, right? And none of them have left you feeling good...maybe not giving them attention will be empowering. They are sad letters, it is a sad thing, but you can't fix that. You can fix how sad you allow them to make you. Can you get up and do something that makes you feel happy instead?

[Journee]

O...M.....G...

 

That was sent to you on Valentine's day. He wants YOU to comfort HIM? He needs a release? Does he mean what it sounds like?

 

He misses his friend? Oh, really. Did he even bother to ponder if continuing to contact you and attempt to pull your heart strings about his wife's (hello! His wife!) prognosis might not be a friendly thing to do?

 

 

 

Don't you forget that list we are writing! Go read it Promises.

[TaraMaiden]

I hate to say it (for him) but all this correspondence is probably assisting that effect.

Actual letters.

wow, that's rare in this day and age!

 

There again, not so traceable by other prying eyes.

 

I'm sorry too if this is causing you any discomfort - but if, as you say, you're coping ok....

 

then I would say, 'keep coping' - !!

 

You are, really, doing great!

[promises]

O...M.....G...

 

That was sent to you on Valentine's day. He wants YOU to comfort HIM? He needs a release? Does he mean what it sounds like?

 

He misses his friend? Oh, really. Did he even bother to ponder if continuing to contact you and attempt to pull your heart strings about his wife's (hello! His wife!) prognosis might not be a friendly thing to do?

 

 

 

Don't you forget that list we are writing! Go read it Promises.

 

That's what I mean, he wants ME to comfort HIM right now. I am not even kidding. And yes, pulling my heart strings about his wife's condition, yes. I also do believe that he is terribly sad as well... but, he is trying that angle, too.

 

I am sad to say, but, I do believe that the release he is talking about may be what it sounds like. I don't know, though. I hope not, but. I guess I've never met anyone quite like this man, so, maybe that is what he meant.

[LFH]

Ugh.

 

Yeah, he's a wackadoodle.

 

I'm sorry he's being... difficult. Jerkface.

 

I thought WAY worse names for him in my head but if I type those all you get to see is ******************************** so I went with something that you can read.

 

I understaad feeling compelled to read things. I do.

It's not quite as easy to not read something you know you shouldn't, even if you know it would be better for you to pitch it unopened.

 

Hang in there. You're doing great.

[TaraMaiden]

(I adore Bette Davis.... What a gal....)

[promises]

I feel for him. I do, greatly. But, I CANNOT HELP HIM.

[spice4life]

Wow promises. That letter is very teling about HIM. The entire letter is about how HE is feeling without any regard for you what so ever. The part about needing a release from the anger and pain means he is looking to dump that load on you so he can function in his life. He's a borderline, promises and that is why he had you so twisted up. Keep reading them if you want, but they are only going to keep you tethered to him. And one day he is going to find a way to dump all that pain and anger he is carrying on you. I garauntee it. Watch out, it's not too far away.

 

I get the whole "you're not ready yet" thing, but this man is not well. You need to cut off all contact and fast. Good luck.

[promises]

Wow promises. That letter is very teling about HIM. The entire letter is about how HE is feeling without any regard for you what so ever. The part about needing a release from the anger and pain means he is looking to dump that load on you so he can function in his life. He's a borderline, promises and that is why he had you so twisted up. Keep reading them if you want, but they are only going to keep you tethered to him. And one day he is going to find a way to dump all that pain and anger he is carrying on you. I garauntee it. Watch out, it's not too far away.

 

I get the whole "you're not ready yet" thing, but this man is not well. You need to cut off all contact and fast. Good luck.

 

 

what do you mean, 'borderline'..

 

(and thanks for your note, I agree. THIS is why I was feeling scared long ago. Something made me feel scared and I couldn't figure it out. I was scared of the psychological aspect of what was going on I think)..

[spice4life]

That's what I mean, he wants ME to comfort HIM right now. I am not even kidding. And yes, pulling my heart strings about his wife's condition, yes. I also do believe that he is terribly sad as well... but, he is trying that angle, too.

 

I am sad to say, but, I do believe that the release he is talking about may be what it sounds like. I don't know, though. I hope not, but. I guess I've never met anyone quite like this man, so, maybe that is what he meant.

 

NO he's not looking for you to comfort him, he's looking to dump the feelings of pain and anger on you because he can't deal with them himself. Once he does he will go back to his life because he will be able to function while your left carrying his dirty bag of angst.

 

His manipuulation is starting to work because you're starting to feel bad.

[promises]

NO he's not looking for you to comfort him, he's looking to dump the feelings of pain and anger on you because he can't deal with them himself. Once he does he will go back to his life because he will be able to function while your left carrying his dirty bag of angst.

 

His manipuulation is starting to work because you're starting to feel bad.

 

 

Thanks for explaining. And, yes, I agree. I guess it's hard for me to believe that people are actually like that, but, I suppose that this is a prime case and point.

 

You are very right on this.

[TaraMaiden]

I feel for him. I do, greatly. But, I CANNOT HELP HIM.

 

 

And there's absolutely no reason whatsoever on this planet or any other why you should, or why he should expect you to......

[promises]

NO he's not looking for you to comfort him, he's looking to dump the feelings of pain and anger on you because he can't deal with them himself. Once he does he will go back to his life because he will be able to function while your left carrying his dirty bag of angst.

 

His manipuulation is starting to work because you're starting to feel bad.

 

 

Do you mean borderline personality disorder?

[spice4life]

what do you mean, 'borderline'..

 

(and thanks for your note, I agree. THIS is why I was feeling scared long ago. Something made me feel scared and I couldn't figure it out. I was scared of the psychological aspect of what was going on I think)..

 

Borderline personality. That letter had it written all over it! Were there times during your affair where you felt like you were seriously going crazy? When you felt scared you were probably carrying HIS feelings of fear. I could be wrong but I don't think so. Google it and see if he fits the profile.

[whichwayisup]

Letter #4:

 

"Please speak to me. I have so much anger right now and am in so much pain. I miss my friend. I miss you." Then it goes on to more about (His wifes) diagnosis, it's not good.... (and then more info on the diagnosis).... then more about how much pain he is in and confusion and anger at cancer. Then a bit about his own treatment for alcohol I believe and how that is going but with this new news of cancer and where it has spread he feels like he could lose it.

 

*I'm not making this up. This is honest to goodness what he said and how soap opera he is acting.

 

It goes on to say how he desperately needs a release and he's been writing and doing a few other things but nothing is helping to calm his anger and pain.

 

It was sent on Valentines Day. It is signed with, "Happy Valentines Day"...

Bolded part. Yuk! Is he implying what I think?

 

He needs therapy if he isn't handling stuff. Last person he should run to is you.

 

Hope you ignored this letter! This is ALL about him, not you at all. No where did he ask how you are or what he could do for you..Always about mr narcissist.

[spice4life]

Do you mean borderline personality disorder?

 

Yes! That's what I meant.

[whichwayisup]

I feel for him. I do, greatly. But, I CANNOT HELP HIM.

 

Of course. You have a heart and a person is suffering. the thing is, he is coming to you for ALL the wrong reasons. He isn't suffering enough to reach out to someone else - A family member or getting help from a shrink. Nope, he thinks you can fix him - Make him feel good, so he can forget the stuff going on his life, he can get a 'fix' aka ego stroke and then go back and feel better.

 

Don't cave. I know you won't, but IF you feel that there is a slight possibility come post here immediately!

[promises]

Bolded part. Yuk! Is he implying what I think?

 

He needs therapy if he isn't handling stuff. Last person he should run to is you.

 

Hope you ignored this letter! This is ALL about him, not you at all. No where did he ask how you are or what he could do for you..Always about mr narcissist.

 

 

well, I believe he is in therapy- but, I also believe that HE believes he can fool therapy, his W, and me.

[ComingInHot]

Spice;

Hammer. Nail. Head!!

 

He's trying to use Promises (at this point) as an outlet for everything that he cannot deal with like reality.

Yes. Reality Sucks sometimes. Bad! It's no excuse to stalk & harass someone, especially someone as cool as Promises!!

 

This man makes me ...angry.

[whichwayisup]

well, I believe he is in therapy- but, I also believe that HE believes he can fool therapy, his W, and me.

 

Can we say..Narcissistic personality disorder here? Mix of that some other mental issues. And boy, he's really putting on the crocodile tears through his words, trying to manipulate you, make you feel bad enough so you'll reach out to him. HE KNOWS not to call, text, email or come see you, so he figures mail at least is safe. Honestly, I know you want to continue reading what he sends you, but you really should send it back to his home address UNOPENED. That would send him such a strong message. Reality check! Next letter, please do that.